


Just a month

by Lookagingerpanda



Category: Mean Girls - Richmond/Benjamin/Fey
Genre: ADHD, Angst, College, Dyslexia, F/F, I'm writing this also to cope with leaving the job at a college I love, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Internalized Homophobia, Mutual Pining, Pining, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, SO VERY GAY, Slow Burn, So much angst, Useless Lesbians, and they were ROOMMATES, guess which character is me in real life, it's gonna gay, oops didn't realize it until I started writing how angsty it would be, we'll get to the smut eventually, west virginia mountain mama take me home country roads
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-16
Updated: 2021-01-24
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:13:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 97,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23163814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lookagingerpanda/pseuds/Lookagingerpanda
Summary: This could not be happening. Nope. It absolutely could not be happening. There was just no way. Zero percent chance. Not possible. Nope. There was absolutely no possible way in hell that Regina George could be standing in the doorway of Janis Sarkisian’s freshman dorm room at a college that was in bumfuck West Virginia.It's M because I love to swear and in chapter 20 people are getting naked.
Relationships: Regina George/Janis Sarkisian
Comments: 94
Kudos: 230





	1. Nope. No way.

**Author's Note:**

> The Coronavirus has wrecked my work life so this is how I'm copping with it. The updated will likely be irregular do to me working on this and my grad thesis. But I am determined to finish it at some point. This is going to be a long slow burn full of angst and useless lesbianry. Hope you enjoy!

This could not be happening. Nope. It absolutely could not be happening. There was just no way. Zero percent chance. Not possible. Nope. There was absolutely no possible way in hell that Regina George could be standing in the doorway of Janis Sarkisian’s freshman dorm room at a college that was in bumfuck West Virginia. Nope. No way. This was not happening. Janis had a stroke and died. The look of shock on Janis’s face was met with the same face in turn which just made Janis gape.

Regina’s face twisted into a scowl and scuffed. “No. _Nooope_. No way.” She turned her head to her right and shouted down the hallway. “Mom we have to go back. There’s a miscreant in my room.” Regina turned her head back to the dark haired girl who was rolling her eyes. The blonde stepped into the room and put the box she was carrying on the floor. She crossed her arms, cocking her hip, her scowl morphed to a glare. Classic pre bus Regina pose. “What the fuck are you doing in my room?”

It was Janis’s turn to scuff. Her side of the room was almost completely decorated and she had unpacked her clothes two hours ago. Her mom had been gone for an hour. Regina’s room? If anyone was going to claim the room it was going to be her. “ _You’re_ room?” Janis asked with acid lacing the two words. “ _I_ got here first princess.” She gestured to her side of the room. She was about to make another comment when Regina’s mom came zooming into the room dropping a massive trunk on the ground. She scurried right over to Janis and wrapped her in a tight hug.

“Ahh Janis I’m so happy to see you!” Mrs. George squealed. “I’m so sad we didn’t get here sooner. I was looking forward to chatting with Fiona. _Someone_ didn’t want to get up this morning. Ah well, I’ll just have to invite her over for martinis when I get back.” Both Janis and Regina had looks of confusion on their faces. Looking forward to seeing Janis's mom?

“Um, uh hi… Mrs. George.” Janis said cautiously. Her eyes crashed into the blonde’s. If real knives were able to come out of human eyeballs, Janis and Mrs. George would be dead.

“Mom what the actual hell are you rambling about? And _stop_ hugging that art freak!” Regina commanded not breaking eye contact with Janis. Mrs. George chuckled and released her from the hug. She turned to her daughter while slinging a warm arm around Janis’s shoulders.

“Janis call me Sebrina. Mrs. George is my mother-in-law.” Sebrina giggled to herself. “Now honey, Janis is not an art freak. She’s an _artist_ and a fantastic one at that. Look at all these paintings. Are these all yours dear?” Janis nodded awkwardly. “Amazing. Maybe you’ll rub a little bit of your drive and direction off on Gina.” Sebrina cocked an eyebrow at the blonde playfully. Regina responded to her mother’s comment by storming out of the room. Sebrina sighed lightly and shook her head. She moved her arm off of Janis’s shoulder and stood facing her. There was a look of guilt on her face. “Dear I’m sorry to bombard you with all of this. We… your mom and I, thought you two would be excited to be roommates.”

There was something so comforting about Mrs. Geor-Sebrina that caused Janis to spill her side of the story as to why she wasn’t excited to see Regina standing in the doorway just a few minutes ago. “Sebrina… Regina and I haven’t been getting along for a while now.”

“Sweetheart why didn’t you tell your mom? We wouldn’t have put you two together if we had known that.” Sebrina wilted under her feelings of guilt.

“I didn’t say anything to my mom because it wasn’t that bad. I didn’t want her to worry that I’d go off the deep end like in middle school.” Janis’s chest hurt thinking about middle school and this whole situation now. “And to be honest the change in her kind of came out of nowhere. She came back from spring break this last year and was a little different. A few extra snide comments then usual since… the bus. But as the year went on they became more frequent and more pointed at me. I just figured she got tired of faking friends. Plus I didn’t know Regina would be coming here of all places!” Her anger rose just a little bit in her last sentence.

“Janis.” Sebrina’s face was twisted with shame and sadness. It also looked like she knew why that had happened. “I’m so sorry.” She paused for what seemed like forever. “Regina… The trip to NYC over spring break… Something happened and I’m not really at liberty to tell you, because as her therapist has told me countless times that I need to let her tell her own story, but I can tell you that she’s trying to work through it.” Sebrina looked more at peace now. “I’m so sorry that it was happening to you at school. I thought all those old problematic behaviors were just being flung at me and the housekeeper at home.” June gasped realizing she said too much. It was too late though.

Janis’s mind was racing. What the fuck happened in New York? What could have happened to turn sassy but nice post bus Regina into a very close replica of pre bus Regina? The only difference was that she didn’t get all homophobic with her insults. “Mrs. Georg- I mean Sebrina, I’m not sure this is a good idea. Regina and I just don’t mix.”

“Janis please. I know that Regina has been different but I really think it could be good for you two to have each other. And if I’m being honest I think you’ll be a good influence on her.” Sebrina took a step towards Janis and put a hand on her arm. “Could you give it a try for a month please? Just a month. You can tell me how it’s going anytime so you don’t have to tell your mom about it. At the end, if she’s still being this way I’ll get her moved out by the end of that day.”

Janis paused thinking about it. Could she handle this for a month? The glares, side comments, and outright insults. Could she put up with it for that long. She continued to think. There was something in Sebrina’s eyes that made her feel confident that she could but also the knowledge that something was wrong with Regina compelled her curiosity. “Okay.” Janis said, looking down at her watch. Shit she only had fifteen minutes before orientation started. “Um Sebrina, I need to go to orientation soon.”

“Oh god I completely forgot about that. I’ll walk down with you, but would you mind waiting for Gina and walking over with her? I know she’ll be fine at making friends but I’m hoping once I talk to her that she’ll give you an apology before parting ways to make new friends at orientation.” Sebrina looked at her with pleading eyes.

“Yeah that’s fine I can do that.” Janis said before starting to exit the room. Sebrina gave her a quick hug from behind and hopped in front of her. Janis was doubtful she’d get an apology but it was a funny thought to have. Plus she just had to walk her over. After that they could part ways and be free from one another’s glares and scuffs.

They made their way down to the bottom floor and out to the George's huge SUV. Regina was sitting in the passenger seat looking at her phone with wildfire in her eyes. “Give me five minutes dear and I’ll have her out of there and you be one your way to orientation!” Sebrina had a hopeful but mildly frightful tone to her words. She hopped in the car and Janis decided that watching the whole ordeal would be an invasion of privacy.

Janis turned around and started taking in the campus. Bethany College. Founded in 1840 and was the oldest post secondary institute in the state of West Virginia. Some of the buildings, like her dorm, were over a hundred years old. There were beautiful trees as old as the school had been around. She couldn’t wait to sit down during every season and paint the campus. There were a number of buildings in town that were just as old and just as beautiful. There was apparently a super dope graveyard where the founder of the college was buried too.

She had been thinking about going to a huge school or an arts school but then a series of events led her to this tiny school in the mountains. Her mom had gone there for a few semesters before having to leave to take care of her grandfather. She had loved it there and when she was talking to an old friend about Janis applying to school, Bethany had been brought up. That friend’s cousin Aaron had also gone to Bethany in the early 2000’s and was now working there as a professor in the art department. Unbeknownst to Janis, her mom had sent a slew of pictures of Janis’s art to Aaron. A few weeks after Thanksgiving break there was a letter for her in the mail from him asking her to consider going to Bethany. He was extremely impressed with her painting and said she had real potential. He was honest and said there weren’t that many art majors which was a blessing and curse and that he would love to mentor her if she decided to come. She was hesitant at first and scolded her mom for sending a stranger her art. But then a few weeks after that Aaron showed up at her house with his cousin for dinner. That’s when she knew she had to go. Aaron was amazingly talented and nice and funny and had all these wonderful connections to the art world and he wanted to mentor her.

She was so caught up in the memory that she hadn’t noticed the sound of a car door opening and slamming. It wasn’t until she felt an arm link around her own that she realized Regina was hauling her off in the direction of the quad for orientation. “Come on freak I don’t want to be late. It’s one of my biggest pet peeves.” Janis finally started walking at a normal pace and Regina unlinked their arms. “Okay loser let’s set some ground rules. Keep your alien freak art off of my side of the room and I’ll keep my things off of yours. During the week I go to bed at 10pm sharp. You’re a fucking night owl so either adjust to my schedule or make it a habit to not come back to the room until 11pm. I’ll be in deep sleep by then and you’ll have to dump water on me to wake me up. As for the weekends, if there’s a sock on the door don’t you dare come in. Weekdays I wake up at 6am and will be getting ready after my shower in our room. I refuse to get ready for my day standing in a communal bathroom. So if you’re not a morning person, invest in some ear plugs. Oh and try and your eyes to youse-”

“Fuck off _Gina._ ” Janis interrupted saying the nickname in a long mocking tone. “I’m not a damn predator. Whether you believe it or not, I’m not going to be staring at you like some piece of meat. God what is with you _straight_ girls?” Janis was ready to march back to the dorm and tell June the deal was off.

“Janis.” Regina said in an unusually gentle tone, she halted her strides. They were almost to the quad and there were already dozens of freshmen standing around. Janis took a few more steps before stopping as well. She turned to the blonde who had her hands in her pockets looking at her shoes which to her surprise were white vans. Actually her whole outfit was a bit of a surprise. It was so casual, just a pair of high waisted light wash jean shorts and plain light pink crop top tee. Of course her makeup and hair were done but Janis was still surprised. She looked… cute.

Janis took a defensive stance and hid her surprise just in time as Regina looked up. They made eye contact and Janis could have sworn she saw Regina’s eyes dilate. “Look frea-los-Janis, I’m sorry. I know you’re not some sex hungry dy-lesbian that’s out to get in my pants. I’m working on not being such a bitch… And I’m sorry for earlier. I was just really surprised to see someone I know. Being your roommate is not the end of the world.” Regina looked away. They stood in silence for a moment before Janis spoke.

“It’s fine. Just try not to out me to every new person you speak to okay? Like yes, I know it’s obvious.” Janis’s last sentence came with a bit of a laugh. Janis had chopped her hair to just passed her shoulders and dyed it a dark oaky brown. Her style had changed just a smidge over the summer. She had grown tired of the leggings and fishnets and exchanged them for many different colors of very well fitting jeans. She had a brief fling with a cute girl she met at an art show that said she could break hearts with a pair of jeans that hugged her. Her boots and jackets and old t-shirts and make-up were all the same. Today she had on her boots with army green jeans tucked in and a worn looking grey t-shirt with little elephant on the upper left of the chest. Her hair was down and she kept her eye make-up a little lighter. “I know how obvious it is. That’s kind of the point. But I want to be the one to say, “Yes your suspicions are correct. I come in peace.” That power was taken away from me once. I won’t let it happen again.” Janis winced and looked at the ground. She shouldn’t have said that.

“Yeah… I’m sorry for that too.” Regina said softly. Janis looked up and Regina was looking at her dead in the eyes. Even in that weird period of time that Regina was nice she had never apologized for middle school. “You really _really_ didn’t deserve that. I’d love to give you a dissertation on why I did it but it would take half a day and I still don’t fully understand it myself so that’ll have to wait.”

They were still looking at each other dead in the eyes and Janis was shocked to say that she believed her when she said she was sorry. She wasn’t ready to forgive her but it was a start. Janis was the first to break eye contact when something in her chest jumped. She whirled around and beckoned Regina with a hand. “Let’s go princess. I told your mom I’d walk you over. We don’t have to stick around each other but I will be damned if I break the promise I gave to your mom.” Janis started walking and Regina was quick to follow as they reached the ever growing mass of students.


	2. Orientation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh I decided the perspective will switch between Janis and Regina. Odd chapters Janis. Even chapters Regina.

The orientation went as Regina expected. Ice breaking activities galore and she had lost track of how many times she had said her name. She occasionally looked down at her phone to see a picture from her mom asking if what she was doing was okay. And for the most part it was great, other than when she forgot to crop out the art freak’s side of the room. All those stupid paintings all over the walls were going to clash with her modernist style. The thought of messing up her side of the room crossed her mind once before banishing it knowing that was so shitty. A ping of guilt rose in her chest after the thought. She would deal with the weird paintings and the weird roommate. She promised her mom she would, which was something she had been working on in therapy. It was just a year.

To no surprise Regina immediately connected with some girls. The freshmen had been split into four groups based on a buzzfeed quiz they took right at the beginning of orientation. Also to no surprise she and Janis were not in the same group. Thank god. She didn’t need someone she knew, let alone Janis, interfering with her making new friends. Regina was in the Morlan group which focused around humanities such as religion, english, foreign language, history and political science. She had decided that if her mom was going to force her to go to a shit little hicktown school that she would do something that actually might help reach her real dream some day. She really wanted work in fashion. She wasn’t exactly sure in what way but she loved it and wanted to be a part of it. Her current plan was to double major in Spanish and German and become a translator and use her mom's few connections to get in as a translator for a fashion company. From there if she was savvy enough she’d let her designs slip in here and there. Not a fool proof plan but it was something.

Janis was in the Steinman group which were all manner of art freaks and for whatever reason the communications department. Those poor future news anchors, forced to hang out with a bunch of losers. _Shit_ . There was that ping of guilt again. She kept her eyes on the formerly ombre haired girl, who was currently chatting with a hand full of other students. Standing among them, Janis looked surprisingly normal. Ditching the fishnets helped but there was something else. There was a calmness to her, better yet a confidence to her that Regina hadn’t seen for a while. _Shit_ that ping again. But was it the ping? It felt a little different.

“Regina?” A voice next to her questioned. 

“What?” Regina whipped her head. She had been so caught up watching Janis she kind of forgot other people were around. She was sitting with the girls that she had really connected with earlier. They giggled at her kindly. “Sorry.” The blonde apologized in a genuine tone. She had gotten a lot better at that again in the last few months. “What are we talking about?” 

“We were asking each other if we had come here in a relationship. Did you?” The girl that asked was named Lauren.

“Oh uh, no. I dated a lot in high school and kind of got tired of it. I’m riding the single wave right now. Happily.” Regina gave them a half truth. She wasn’t exactly happy but she knew no one could handle her the way she was right now. She was too damaged. 

“Oh okay cool. Some of us came here single too. Well other than _those_ two.” Lauren gestured to a girl named Kelly who was in that moment tilting her head back to kiss a boy that had walked over. Next to Kelly was a girl named Sydnee, Syd for short, who was furiously typing away on her phone.

“That’s right bitch you better believe I’m wifed up.” Syd spoke up in a sassy tone never taking her eyes off of her phone. “I’m telling Matt about all the hot girls around here and he’s jelly AF.” Regina giggled at the girl’s honesty, it was the first thing that Syd told them that she was queer. Regina had been surprised that she was so upfront about it.

“ _Oooo_ anyone in particular you think is hot.” Olivia asked, another girl in the small group, wiggling her eyebrows.

“I have my eyes on a few. But just eye candy to queal my _flaming_ homosexuality. And before you ask no I will not tell you who I think is hot and I will never answer the question “OMG do you think I’m hot?” _Never_ ask a queer woman that. It puts us in an awkward position and we’re damned if we do and damned if we don’t.” At that moment Syd looked up making eye contact with Regina. No one seemed to catch the moment, but it made Regina’s heart race. 

“EVERYONE PLEASE GATHER ‘ROUND!” Came a booming voice that rolled over the quad and made them all jump. Regina turned to see a girl who looked to be in her mid 20’s standing on the library steps. She had red curly hair down to her shoulders and her face was topped with Harry Potter style glasses. Her outfit was rather androgonus, a gray button up with cacti tucked into dark wash jeans, paired with a casual brown leather shoe. She was one the heavier side but you tell that a portion of that was muscle. In her hand was a megaphone. She raised it to her lips again glancing around at the slowly moving students. “PLEASE HURRY BEFORE I FORGET WHAT I HAVE TO TELL YOU.” 

Most students chuckled and quickened their pace over to the older girl. Regina glanced around and noticed Janis looking at her with excitement. Did she already know her? But before she could think more about it the girl spoke again, thankfully without the megaphone. “Hello everyone thank you for joining me. I’m Nielsen and I’m filling in for my boss while she takes care of some things back at our office. So, you all were recently split into your field of study groups. For the rest of the day you’ll be with them and you’ll get to meet professors, sit in on some short lectures-” Many of the students groaned in disgruntled tones. “- _oh no_ lectures, the thing that a chunk of your education will be for the next three to five years, gasp.” The redhead chastised the students in a sarcastic tone. “You’ll also be completing some fun activities with your groups. So buckle up children you’re about to have some fun! Please find your group leaders and be gonest!” 

Nielsen hopped down the stairs and over in the direction of Janis. The redhead greeted the brunette by ruffling her hair as they walked over to the head of Steinman’s group Aaron. She watched them giggle to each other and the ping that wasn’t exactly the ping happened again. How did she know a staff member so well already? Though she felt like she recognized the name Nielsen before but she couldn’t place it. She watched Janis playfully punch Nielsen’s arm and the not ping just seemed to go crazy. She huffed and turned to walk with her group and nearly ran into Syd who was standing right behind her with crossed arms and a quirked eyebrow. There was a ghost of a smirk on her face.

“You okay Regina?” Syd asked with a bit of suspicion in her tone. 

“What?” Regina felt a bit of blush on her cheeks. “Yeah, just looking around and got distracted.”

“By _who_?” Syd’s smirk became more prominent.

“Who? No one.” Regina waved a hand. “I was distracted by the… weird tree over there.” Thankfully there was an odd looking tree that happened to be in the direction of Janis.

“Mhm. Okay.” Syd shrugged and turned around. “Let’s catch up with everybody. I want to make sure we can sit together so if we get bored we can pass notes.”

“Okay.” Regina said. There was an urge to yell at Syd bubbling up in her. No one back at North Shore would have dared grill her like that or smirk at her like that or used a tone like that with her. No one. But she wasn’t there anymore and she knew that this was something that normal friends did. They called each other out and poked fun at each other. Good friends didn’t rip each other’s heads off when they asked questions like “Are you okay.” But there was something else about Syd that made her decide that she won’t be her right hand to keep all her secrets. 

________________________________________________________________________

Two hours later it was time for a “cookout” dinner back on the quad. Regina, Lauren, Syd, Olivia, and Kelly were walking with Dr. Hillgardner from the religion department. She had just given a short lecture on her religious journey in Europe the year prior to their arrival. The girls were enamored with her. She was a tall thin woman with short curly brown hair and a smile so infectious Regina thought that she might never frown again.

“Dr. Hillgardner is there anything that you feel like you missed?” Syd asked.

“Yes, but I’ll go back soon enough. Probably in a decade, with the new things I’ll inevitably learn from the world. I’ll probably learn a thing or two from you ladies that I’ll take on my journey.” Dr. Hillgardner said. “Alright ladies I have to head over to the academic parlor for a meeting. I’ll see all of you tomorrow!” 

“Bye Dr. Hillgardner.” The girls said as she walked off down another path. 

“Wow she is so fucking cool! I was worried my advisor was going to be lame but she’s amazing!” Lauren said excitedly.

“She’s also hot as _fuck_.” Syd said casually. It was so nonchalant that Regina glanced over at her. She was so unbothered by her sexuality. She wondered if Janis was being that casual. “I can’t wait to have religion with her. Is anyone else in her class with me?” Everyone whipped out their phone. 

“Are you in the 10am one?” Kelly asked.

“Nah I’m in the 11am.” Syd said.

“I’m at 1 with Dr. Deal.” Olivia said.

“Same!” Lauren said excitedly.

“I’m in there with you Syd.” Regina said happily. She felt a little less uneasy about Syd after spending more time with her that afternoon. She was just a really blunt person and liked to call it as she saw and Regina fucked with that. She just didn’t know what her deal was with giving her suspicious looks sometimes.

“Hell yes!” Syd pumped her fist in the air. “That means I have at least one friend in each of my classes. This semester is going to be dope!”

The girls giggled among themselves as they got into the dinner line. It consisted of burgers, hotdogs, various salads, corn on the cob, brownies, cookies, and various drinks. As they were all grabbing drinks Regina heard a familiar snort and cackle. She allowed her eyes to dart around the area and found Janis lying on the ground with two boys and a girl. They were all cackling at another girl who appeared to be blushing. The not guilt ping sparked once again so she turned away. Whatever that was Regina did _not_ like it and would have to talk about it with her therapist. 

The girls all flocked to an open blanket and sat cross legged balancing plates, cups, and utensils alike. It was relatively close to Janis’s group who were all laughing and carrying on. The girls’ conversation tapered off as they all filled their bellies with surprisingly good food for a college. When they finished they talked about their classes and Regina had a class with each of the girls; World Civ with Olivia, Gen Psych with Kelly, Freshmen Seminar with Lauren, and of course Religion with Syd. She didn’t have anyone so far in College Writing or Spanish but she didn’t really care. She’d be fine on her own, though she wondered if she’d have to suffer through any classes with Janis. Classes with Janis were always _awful_. She always asked a bunch of questions and argued with the teachers about things. God it was so annoying. 

The smattering of cackles came from the direction of Janis’s group. Regina had heard them throughout the evening and this time it was so loud she couldn’t help but whip her head around. She could feel a slight glare in her eyes, why the hell were they being so _loud_? As they came to focus on Janis, green eyes met gray and she felt an entirely new thing in her stomach. It wasn’t a ping more like a lurching. The annoyance left her body as she saw the look of pure joy coming from Janis’s features from being with these new people. Regina froze looking at the brunette until Janis quirked an eyebrow and flashed the blonde a peace sign, a whisper of a smirk on her lips. Regina blinked a few times and looked away for a second before looking back and gave a small wave. The brunette’s tiny smirk turned into a gentle smile before she turned her attention back to her new friends. Regina did the same but found her friends staring at her.

“What?” She asked defensively.

“Who’s that you waved at?” Syd asked with a smirk. Regina wanted to smack it off.

“Do you know her?” Kelly asked.

“Is she nice?” Lauren asked.

“Is she your roommate?” Olivia asked.

Regina couldn’t figure out how to answer until Olivia’s question. “Yes.”

“Yes?” The four asked her.

“Yes.” Regina glanced up at the clouds hoping something would drop out of them and crush her. She had to phrase this right. It’s not like she could just lie to them. They all lived in Phillips Hall together. She couldn’t stuff Janis in the closet when they came over or always go over to their rooms without them getting suspicious. Plus she was trying to turn over a new leaf and be nicer. She had been, until spring break when everything started to fall apart. “Her name is Janis, yes she is my roommate, yes I know her, we went to high school together, and-” Regina couldn’t help but sigh, it was like she was finally admitting it to herself. “yes she is nice. We didn’t hang out a lot in high school. We ran in two _very_ different groups until our senior year. I honestly didn’t know she was my roommate until I walked into the room and saw her. Turns out our moms planned it so we could have a familiar face since we live eight hours away. She’s probably majoring in art. She does all these crazy paintings and won a few awards in high school.”

“Aw thanks Gina for the glowing review.” Janis’s voice came from behind her. Regina yelped and nearly jumped out of her skin. The girls and Janis giggled. She could feel red creeping up her face. The blonde wiped around on the ground to see Janis right above her, hands on her hips and a smirk. 

“Fucking hell Janis you scared the shit out of me.” Regina scolded her swatting at the brunette’s shin. “And don’t call me Gina, _fuck_ only my mom calls me that.” Regina crossed her arms and turned back around. 

“Okay sorry princess.” The other girls giggle at the nickname. “I came over here to ask if your phone died. Your mom is trying to get a hold of you. She wants to head out so she can make it to her halfway point before midnight.” 

Regina looked down at her phone and it was in fact dead. She glanced at her watch and it read 7:45. She didn’t even realize it had gotten that late. “Shit.” Regina muttered standing up. She turned to her new friends. “I have to go say bye to my mom and then finish setting up my room. Are you guys going to breakfast before the whole group thing tomorrow?” All the girls nodded. “Cool I’ll see you guys there.” They collectively waved and Regina turned around reaching into her pocket for her dorm keys. _Shit_. She gave them to her mom. As she looked over at Janis she already had her keys out.

“Your mom said she had your keys. Plus she wants to give me a hug goodbye too.” Janis said. She nodded to Regina’s new friends. “Bye ladies, see you tomorrow.” Janis turned and started the walk to Phillips Hall. Regina said bye to the girls once more before catching up with the punk.

“Jesus _christ_ freak you scared me half to death. You’re lucky I’m not a monster anymore because I would have _ended_ you.” Regina’s tone was stern. The next sentence lacked that sternness, coming out as a mumble. “Also how much did you hear?” The blonde looked over at one of the old buildings unable to look at Janis.

“Well first off you were never a monster. Just a life ruiner.” Janis said in a very matter a fact tone. “And secondly from where you said I was nice. I was going to interrupt there but I was just _too_ curious to hear what else you had to say. I have to admit you really put our high school life in a nice light.” 

“Listen-” Regina cut in ready to fight.

“Let me finish please.” Janis said calmly. Regina huffed and nodded. “Thank you for doing that.”

If Regina had been drinking something she would have spit it out. She stopped in her tracks and Janis followed suit. “What?” Her tone was confused. She hadn’t heard that phrase from the girl since middle school. “Why?” She looked over at the brunette who was rubbing the back of her neck, looking nervous. 

  
“Geez this is going to make me sound like an asshole.” Janis wouldn’t look at Regina and instead choose to look at the ground. “I honestly wasn’t sure how you would present our past to people. It actually kind of scared me. But I’m happy to say that the shitty part of my brain was wrong.” Janis sighed and shook her head, still not able to look at Regina. “Also our stories were actually pretty close. Didn't run in the same crowd until our last year. Mostly truth with a bit of a lie.” Janis looked up at Regina from the corner of her eye. She looked so vulnerable and that lurching thing happened again. What the _fuck_ was that?! Before Regina could say anything, Janis started walking again. They were almost to Phillips Hall.


	3. Burn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 3 things.
> 
> 1) T/W do to very brief suggested subtexty self harm.
> 
> 2) If you've made it this far you know I like to describe shit. The first little bit is just me describing their room. Skip it if you want but their is a little bit of context with it that will be referenced later in the chapter and later in the series. 
> 
> 3) If you get a little turned around when reading my description of the characters and think that doesn't sound like them. It is because when reading and writing Mean Girls stuff I think of the 1st National Tour cast. I saw them in Pittsburgh and fell in love with their little faces. But the details are minor to like eyes and little features and you are welcome to swap out the features for your desired actor!

Janis and Regina’s room was strangely roomie for a college dorm and for whatever reason came with a foyer of sorts. Phillips Hall, or as the two learned also known as “The Phil,” was a super old building so the rooms were all different shapes and sizes. Janis wasn’t going to complain though because it gave both girls the same amount of space. Their twin beds fit nicely flanking either wall opposite their door and closets. Both of them chose to put their desks and mini fridges at the foot of their beds and between them were their tall narrow windows with a radiator sitting under them. 

From there each side of the room took on its own life like yin and yang with Janis on the right and Regina on the left. Janis’s bed was adorn with plain light gray sheets and a matching comforter with black and white detailing making it look like watercolor. On one closet door hung a Summer Society poster from the web series _Carmilla_ and on the other hung a poster from the series _Orphan Black_. Her side of the room was covered in some of her favorite paintings she had done over the years. She’d probably send some home as she painted new things she was proud enough to hang. Each of the paintings she had brought had a deeper meaning. All of the ones hanging had her in tears at one point for some reason or another, though she’d never admit it out loud. 

But contrary to popular belief not everything she painted had a meaning behind it. She realized because most of her former peers knew she got into art from going to therapy most assumed all her pieces had some emotional backstory. Not all of them were covered in painstaking emotional brushstrokes. As the years went on it mainly became honing her craft, wanting to make painting and art her career. Sometimes she just wanted to paint a tree because it looked cool or because she thought up a dope sounding monster and had to bring it to life. But the ones hanging, they meant something to her and they put her at peace. 

The last painting she had hung was from a month before graduation. It was a reinvention of one she had made when she first entered art therapy. It was abstract to say the least, mainly white gray and black splotches but had smatterings of blues and pinks that smeared together into purples in tiny areas. She did a lot of the smearing with her hands hoping the paint would absorb some of the rage she had felt. It must have because once she had finished it she felt at peace. She had been tempted to take it down when she realized who her roommate was but decided against it. She was very proud of it and it even won an exhibition in Chicago.

She turned a wooden crate into her nightstand and stained it gray to compliment her bed. She had cut open one side and used it to make a shelf for the inside so it would be more useful. On the lower shelf rested ten books she was determined to read during the school year and her two favorite childhood books, _The Giver_ and _Holes_ . On the upper shelf were just some random things and trinkets; a picture cube of Damian’s idea of “our best selfies together”, a mini Van Gogh painting from her mom when her company sent her to Italy, a little glass bottle full of confetti from the first alt-rock concert she took Gretchen to, a little figurine of Princess Buttercup from Karen which was their favorite movie to watch together, her piece of the Spring Fling Queen crown from Cady, two custom FunkoPops from _Heathers the Musical_ and _Wicked_ , and hidden in the back was her oldest keepsake. A palm sized rock painted pink and blue with RG+JS 4ever written on it. One the top of the crate was where her phone would rest each night alongside a picture of her, Damian, Cady, and the Plastics at graduation. 

************************************************************

Janis’s eyes slowly opened at the sound of a yelp of pain. She was not a morning person. Thank goodness her first class wasn’t until 11am on Monday/Wednesday/Fridays and only had one class at 2pm on Tuesday/Tuesdays. She rolled over away from the wall letting her eyes focus at the sound which had switched to whimpering. Regina had her hand to the side of her neck and a look of terror in her eyes. There was a hair curler on the ground.

“Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck…” Regina was whimpering as she reached for some concealer. Janis watched knowingly as the blonde touched some concealer to what she could only assume was burned skin and saw her jump. “FUCK!” Regina yelled followed by a whine.

“Excuse me, some of us are trying to get our eight hours before our first day of college.” Janis said sarcastically as she set up in her bed, folding her legs into a pretzel.

“Well those people can _fuck off._ ” Regina spat, glaring at Janis from the reflection of her mirror. The blonde once again tried to put more concealer on the wound only to yelp again in pain. “You have got to be fucking kidding me. Burn myself on the first day of classes.”

Janis hopped up from the bed and went to her closet. Her night shirt that was three sizes too big hid the boxer shorts she was wearing. She could feel Regina’s stare but ignored her, not wanting to insight more angry words from the former Queen Bee. She quickly grabbed a rag off of a shelf, shut the door, and walked out of the room. As the dorm door closed she heard a scoff. She went to the bathroom and ran the rag over cold water, rang it out, and walked back to the door. As she came back into the room she heard Regina cursing again. 

“Stop trying to put concealer on it. You’re going to fuck up your skin.” Janis said simply as she went to her first aid kit. She heard Regina whip her head around as her hand landed on burn cream. Janis turned around and froze. Regina was glaring at her but her eyes glassed over ready to burst with tears. Janis almost scoffed but stopped herself. She wasn’t going to actively be a dick to Regina. She promised herself and Damian… and Cady… and Karen and Gretchen that she would give it her best college try to not start fights with Regina and try to make the best of the situation. So she opted for kindness with a side of sass. “Listen princess, I know it doesn’t seem like it but I know how to treat a burn.” Janis walked over to the girl grabbing her desk chair on the way. 

“I don’t need your help.” Regina retorted, but made no made no effort to stop Janis from plumping her chair next to her. Nor did she stop her when the brunette moved the blonde’s hand from her neck. She didn’t even try to stop Janis when she, without thinking, moved the hair out of the way and gently wiped away the concealer to reveal the burn. Janis took a sharp inhale seeing the red skin. “What is it really that bad?” Regina asked turning away from Janis to look at it herself. Regina’s eyes went wide. “I’m screwed. I’m _so_ screwed. I can’t hide this. I’m going to have to bandaid it or just leave it. Either way people are going to think it’s a hickey. _Great_ I’m going to be the slut of the freshmen class. _Fu_ -”

“Regina calm down I can fix it.” Janis said.

“Yeah right freak. See how bad it is? Just go back to bed.” Regina’s tone became less and less acidic with each word. Janis looked at her gently and brought the burn cream up to eye level. Regina rolled her eyes. “ _Fine_. Whatever. Might as well just treat it. I’m fucked either way.” Regina huffed moving to grab the cream from Janis. Janis moved her hand away and shook her head.

“This is going to go a lot quicker if you just let me help you. This stuff is different and will actually dry and you’ll be able to put makeup over it. But it has to be really even and thin. You won’t be able to do that with where the burn is.” Regina reached for the tube again but wasn’t quick enough. Janis looked at her watch. They had twenty minutes until the first class of the day started. “Reg _stop_ being so damn _stubborn_ and let me help you.” Janis said sternly before freezing. Regina was frozen as well as their eyes met. Janis’s heart thumped in her chest. She hadn’t used that name in years. What was Regina going to say? Probably something horrible or she may just yell in her face. But to Janis’s surprise the blonde’s eyes weren’t angry at all, they had something Janis didn’t quite understand but it made her heart beat faster.

Regina’s face then shifted to her normal soft RBF and sighed. “Okay fine just do it quick. I have to leave in ten.” She moved her hair to the other side.

Janis quickly opened the tube putting a small amount on her index finger. She gently swiped it over the burn watching Regina tense for a moment before relaxing. She smoothed it and began waving her hand over it to quicken the drying process. As she waved her hand she looked in the mirror just in time to catch Regina staring at her. “What?” Janis asked, caught off guard.

Regina moved her eyes to the makeup in front of her. She was definitely thinking about something, trying to form a sentence. Finally a question came and it made Janis’s stomach drop. “How do you know so much about how to treat a burn like this?” Their eyes met and Janis saw concern in those green orbs. She had almost forgotten that they had a blue halo around them. 

“Um.” Janis searched for a lie. She couldn’t hold the other girl’s gaze any longer. “Uh… wood burning. Sometimes you nick your hands.” Sure that made sense. “I’m not just a painter you know.” Janis glanced up at Regina for just a moment before looking to see if the cream was dry. Thankfully it was, giving her an excuse to look at Regina’s burn and not into her eyes, which she could feel on her waiting to make contact. She pointed in the direction of her concealer. Regina obliged, placing it in her hand. Janis steadied her hand and swiped a thin layer over the cream which had dried white. “Hand me your blender, foundation, and setting powder.” Janis still wouldn’t look at the blonde still shaken from the concern in her eyes. She felt five items in her hand and went to work blending the foundation and concealer to perfection. She brushed the setting powder on and sat back looking proudly at her work. It was like riding a bike. “There you go good as new.” Janis sighed and stood up from the chair taking it back to her desk. 

By the time she turned back, Regina was unplugging her curler, giving it a glare. She watched as the blonde looked in the mirror once again checking where the burn was concealed and the rest of her makeup. She took a step back glancing over her outfit. She was in a simple teal sundress that landed just above her knees with tan gladiator sandals complimenting it. Janis felt her stomach flip over and looked away fearing Regina would catch her and call her a _dyke_. She moved back to her bed grabbing her phone and returning to her pretzel style sitting. She finally allowed her gaze to return to Regina when she saw movement out from the corner of her eye. 

The blonde was tossing some brand of designer backpack on when she looked over at Janis. Janis’s stomach flipped again hoping that the heat she felt in her face wasn’t visible. Regina gave her a genuine smile. “Thanks for saving my ass.” 

“No problem.” Janis responded almost nervously. And with that Regina was out the door. Janis waited to hear the distance sound of the stairwell door closing before flopping back on her bed. She tossed her phone onto her nightstand. She pulled a pillow over her face and yelled into it several times before putting it back under her head. She glanced up at her award winning painting and her stomach flipped again. She shut her eyes tight trying to will the image of Regina walking out the door from her mind. She scolded herself at the thought of the way her hips swayed leaving the room made her face heat up. Her mind started to wander to the outfits from the last five days and her heart began to race. 

Who gave anyone the right to be _that_ hot? Like how was it far? _Fucking hell_. It didn’t matter what she wore it looked flawless. Regina had always had that ability even when they were kids. Hair and makeup always perfect and clothes seemed like they were customized to her body. She wondered for a moment how she’d make it through the month let alone a year, when the logical part of her brain finally kicked in and slapped her right across the cheek. She had been dealing with this for years. Regina George was hot, _so what_ . She was a life ruiner so that knocked her down some pegs because bad people couldn’t be the hottest. It’s not like she had _feelings_ for her. Ugh. She was just another hot girl. 

Janis had learned quickly how to hide the outward signs of attraction soon after the middle school incident. She had become the master of stolen glances, queen of lesbian poker face, and lord of the phrase “nah she’s not my type” in just one summer at arts camp. She saved all the pent up angst for her pillows and canvases. 

The notification sound of an email hit her ears. Janis thanked whatever was up in the sky for the distraction. She grabbed her phone and saw two emails. She opened the first one.

**Hello and welcome to Bethany College!**

**Your accommodation letters are ready for pick up in The McCann Learning Center located on the main floor of Cramblet Hall. We are open everyday until 4:00 p.m.**

**Thanks,**

**-The Learning Center Staff**

Oh right. She forgot about having to go get those. Janis made a mental note to go get them before her first class. She opened the second one with a smile on her face.

**Good Morning Janis!**

**Happy First Day of college! I wanted to let you know that you’ll be having your three PASS meetings with me this semester M/W/F at 10am starting next week. If this doesn’t work please let me know and we can sort out other times. Also don’t forget to come get your accommodation letters! And remember you’re always welcome to pop into the Learning Center whenever so long as it’s during hours.**

**See you soon,**

**-Nielsen**

Janis was elated! All of her meetings were with Nielsen thank goodness. She had met the girl during her campus visit at her PASS interview. PASS was an academic service to aid students with learning disabilities and specific mental health issues in a college setting. Janis had ADHD and dyslexia which made her a perfect candidate. During her interview she and her mom talked with the head of the Learning Center Heather and Nielsen who was in charge arranging tests for accommodated students. Heather mainly talked about the boring academic stuff, but at one point Janis’s mom absentmindedly dropped that Janis was gay and Nielsen just casually said “Ditto” without stopping the conversation. After the interview while the four of them walked to the Sarkisians’ car, Nielsen let her know that whether she became a PASS student or not, she was always welcome to come by the office and get help or just to talk.

Janis closed her eyes relieved that she’d have someone to talk to about all her gay thoughts. She decided the best thing to do to banish the last of her thoughts about Regina was to take a shower. A _very_ cold shower. She undressed and went to grab her bathrobe when she caught a glimpse of the outer part of her arm. She stared at what a regular person would think were a few moles or big freckles and shattered. She walked out of the room banishing the memories of sadness and helplessness. That wasn’t her anymore she had grown so much in four years. 

When she stepped into the shower she allowed the cool water to run down her body. She let out a long sigh finally able to relax her body. She reached into her shower caddy for various things taking care to get clean and feel fresh. 

Finally feeling like her brain was back to normal she emerged from the shower stall and was almost run over by a girl zooming past her. “Sorry!” She called. Janis watched her run to where the toilets were.

Janis walked over to the sinks and grabbed her toothbrush out of her caddy. As she brushed her teeth, she heard the toilet flush. A moment later a familiar looking girl wearing a Lincoln Park shirt and boxers came from the toilet stalls. She walked over to the sinks and washed her hands. As she shook them dry she spoke “Sorry for almost knocking you over. I _really_ had to pee. You’re Janis right?” The girl’s eyebrow was quirked mysteriously.

“Uh-huh.” Janis responded with her mouth still full of toothpaste. She took another minute to finish before looking directly at the girl. “I… am not exactly sure who you are but I recognize you. I’m sorry I have a horrible memory.” 

“No worries. I’m Syd. I was in the Morlan group with Regina.” Syd flashed a dazzling smile.

“Ahh that’s why I recognize you. Well it’s nice to officially meet you Syd.” Janis stuck out her hand and Syd grabbed hold shaking it. 

“Same here. How do you like it here so far?” Syd inquired as she started walking out of the bathroom. Janis followed behind her.

“I really like it. I decided to come here a little after Christmas and so far I’m not disappointed.” Janis grinned happy to make a new acquaintance. 

“You’re an art major right?” Syd asked.

“Yeah. What’s yours?” Janis was surprised how friendly she was.

“Biology. I wanna go to medical school and become a pediatrician.” Syd’s smile grew even more.

“That’s awesome! I’m hoping to be able to figure out a way to make a living from my art but I’m also majoring in psychology as a backup plan. There’s plenty of things I could do with that.” Janis figured there was something for her to do with psychology. Plus she just thought it was really interesting.

“Yo that’s dope. With both of those together you could be like an art therapist or something!” Syd said excitedly as they reached Janis’s door.

Janis smiled for a moment. That wasn’t a half bad idea. “Huh I never thought about that before.”

“Have you ever heard of it?” Syd asked.

“Um, yes… A friend of mine was in it when they were younger.” Janis felt a small peak of anxiety hoping she hadn’t been caught in her little white lie. She didn’t need a person she just met to know her backstory just yet or maybe never.

“Did it help them?” Syd asked, her face blank as a sheet of printer paper.

“It did. They were really able to sort through some stuff thankfully.” Janis said, smiling a bit.

“Well that’s great! You should really look into that. There are never enough therapists of any kind in the world. But anyway I’ll let you get ready for your day. Maybe I’ll see you in a class.” Syd said and started walking away.

“Yeah I’ll see you around.” Janis said while opening her door. She shut it and decided that she would wait and get her accommodation letters tomorrow. Right then she started thinking about what an office of her own would look like if she were to become a therapist. She needed to sketch it while it was fresh in her mind and before her class in an hour. 


	4. Story Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope everyone is staying safe!

Regina sat quietly on her phone in room 107 of Old Main. There were ten minutes before the start of class. A text from her therapist popped as she scrolled through Instagram. She opened it thankful to see the name.

**_Greta: Hey girl! Are we still good for 8pm on Friday? How did that 8am go? Have you gone to get your accom letters yet? Do you know who you’re meeting with for PASS?_ **

Regina looked over her shoulder to check if there was anyone around her. Only her family knew she was in therapy and she wanted to keep it that way. No one needed to know her business. 

**_Regina: Hey! 8 on Friday is perfect! My 8am was sooo boring. The teacher just went on and on but I have a friend in there to keep me sane. Most of my classes are with friends actually! I haven’t gotten the letters yet. I'm getting them later today. I have this girl Nielsen for my PASS meeting every M/W/F at 9am. Also I’m sad. This is going to be our first session not in person :(_ **

As Regina pushed send she heard a familiar voice coming from behind her.

“Regina what the hell are you doing in the front of the class ya big _nerd_. Come back here!” Syd’s voice was playful.

Regina turned around in her chair and cocked an eyebrow. “As much as I’d like to do that, I want to be Dr. Hillgardner’s prize pupil. Sitting in _front_ gives me that advantage.” She said with a smirk while she flipped her hair and turned back around. She heard Syd sigh, followed by the sound of a body moving from a desk. Regina’s smirk grew bigger as she saw the outline of Syd plop to the right of her. She still had the ability to get people to do what she wanted. It surprised her sometimes that it happened without barking orders at them though.

She had done well so far with her new group of friends. There were a few occasions that she almost snapped at them or made a snide comment but was able to keep it in. She had even done well with Janis. The days since arriving were amazingly non confrontational. The alien had managed to follow her rules she set.

What really surprised her was just the day to day stuff and that they really hadn’t fought at all. The closest they came to it so far was on the first day of orientation when they got snappy at each other. Yesterday they spent most of the day in the room together. They did a lot of their own things. Regina spent a lot of time preparing her school supplies for the semester and picked out her outfits for the week. It felt weird and melancholy that she had to send the pictures to Gretchen and Karen as opposed to having them come over like they always did to decide what the look of the week was going to be. Janis spent a good chunk of yesterday sitting by the window drawing the tree outside of their room. That evening Regina FaceTimed with Gretchen and Karen. She hadn’t offered Janis the chance to say hello to them because the brunette had been reading with headphones on. But then Damian and Cady FaceTimed Janis while she was still talking to her Plastics and Janis brought herself over to Regina to let her people say hey. Regina was surprised when they both instinctively held their phones out to one another to allow everyone to see each other. It was nice to have everyone together. 

Regina thought about the fact that the lurching thing happened when Janis got up from their weird little FaceTime to go back to her bed. The lurching also seemed to have a field day this morning when Janis, still half asleep, came to her rescue. She hadn’t let Janis that close to her since middle school. It felt so old and new all at the same time. She didn’t understand why the brunette’s presence did that to her all of a sudden. Gretchen and Karen _never_ made her feel that way and neither did Cady. She’d just have to make it until Friday to talk to Greta about it. 

“Hey Janis up here.” Syd’s excited voice came crashing through Regina’s train of thought about the brunette. Syd must be playing a joke. Of all the 11ams for Janis to have. Of all the 11ams to have with Janis _and_ Syd. No Syd was just messing with the blonde. She just needed to keep facing front. She heard an oh so familiar voice mumble something she couldn’t quite understand to Syd. “Nah just sit on the other side of Regina. Phil Crew has to stick together.” Syd’s tone was so casual but when Regina caught a glance at the girl there was a smirk.

That _bitch_ . She’s going to kill - no - mangle - _no_ \- strangle - no _no_ \- less violent - scream at - no still too aggressive… ignore - _yes_ \- ignore Syd. Greta and her had many conversations about attention seeking behaviors and what they looked like. Sometimes it’s someone looking for a reaction out of you. Greta helped her realize that many of her own problematic behaviors were centered around this form of attention seeking behavior. It was obvious that Syd got some odd enjoyment out of watching Regina and Janis interact so Regina was going to play it cool and not glare at Syd and _not_ think about all the different ways she could ruin the girl’s life. That wasn’t her anymore.

“Hey Regina is it okay if I sit here?” Janis asked in a quiet voice. 

“Sure.” Regina said calmly, glancing up at the girl. _Wow_ . Regina’s stomach lurch turned into a backhand spring. What the _fuck_ was going on? Janis had on skin tight slightly ripped dark wash jeans with her worn black combat boots. It was accompanied by a black leather jacket, detailed with her art and a white graphic tee that was cropped slightly, revealing the tiniest bit of skin. Most of her makeup was light except for her lips which were a dark burgundy. Regina couldn't stop her eyes running up and down the other girl’s body several times before forcibly turning her head back to her notebook. She grabbed her pencil and thankfully with a steady hand wrote the date in the corner of her notebook. _Why_ was this happening?

“Hey.” Janis whispered to the blonde. Regina jumped, having been so fixated on her notebook to stop her stomach’s gymnastics routine. The blonde turned her head making eye contact and raised her eyebrows to say keep going. She could feel the tension in her face and assumed she looked annoyed at the brunette. “Starting next class I’ll sit in the back with the other art freaks. I know you don’t want to be forced to be around me all the time so no worries. I didn’t really know what to say to Syd. She’s really friendly -we met this morning- so she’s probably just being nice. I don’t want to interfere with your friend stuff, so I’ll give you space starting Wednesday.” Janis looked so nervous saying all of this like she was waiting for the green eyed girl to say something, her voice was so small. Regina watched her grey eyes dart all over the room with each sentence. Her fingers nervously drummed on the desk. 

Why was she acting like this? Regina hadn’t seen Janis look this nervous around her since… _Oh_ . The ping of guilt hit her hard. She wasn’t nervous. She was scared, probably terrified. It never showed this much in high school from years of bullying. Bullying at the hands of her and all her little worker bees. _Shit_ that ping. Janis had turned her head so she was staring at the front of the room. Regina watched the other girl’s leg shake nervously. 

“Jan I…” Regina’s voice came out as little more than a gentle whisper. She watched the brunette’s body stiffen, likely a reaction to her long forgotten nickname. The punk made no effort to look at the former Plastic but Regina could tell she was listening. Just as she was about to speak another louder zen like voice came through the room.

“Good morning class! My name is Dr. Holly Hillgardner and I will be your Religion 100 professor.” Regina whipped her head around. In came the one and only with her infectious smile. Her curly hair was pulled up into a messy bun and cast over her form was a flowy floral maxi dress with sleeves to her elbows. She placed her bag on the ground and grabbed a piece of chalk, beginning to write. 

“Hey are you and Janis okay?” Syd leaned in close to Regina. Regina looked over expecting her to have a shit eating grin on her face but she actually looked concerned.

“Yeah I-” Regina signed. She couldn’t hide her past from Syd. She was picking up on too many things. It made Regina worry that she might start some shit just on what she’s observing without knowing everything. “-I’ll tell you later.” She finished whispering just as Dr. Hillgardner turned to face the class.

**********************************************************

The class seemed to fly by. As soon as Dr. Hillgardner dismissed them, Regina heard Janis getting up from her seat. She caught the grey eyes in her green. There was still fear within them and the ping of guilt and the lurching happened at once. She had to be normal. “I’ll see you later.” The blonde said casually with a small grin. She watched the brunette's eyes calm but her stance was still of a nervous nature.

“Yep. I’ll see you back at the room.” She said quickly averting her eyes as she waved at her and Syd. Then she walked over to two of the people she saw the brunette with on the first day of orientation. As she reached them her body language finally relaxed. The ping of guilt hadn’t stopped ringing in her chest since she realized why Janis looked so nervous. She turned to Syd expecting a quirked eyebrow and a smirk but found the girl still looking concerned.

“Okay.” Regina sighed, standing up from her desk. “I’m going to tell you a story and I’m asking that you not tell anyone about it. That is, unless you decide after this story that you don’t want to be friends anymore. Then you can because I can’t hold you to keep this a secret if we’re not friends anymore.” Regina could feel sweat forming on her brow. She was going to keep this from them until they graduated. Oh well. She took a deep breath.

“Okay wait.” Syd said. “Let’s get out of this classroom first and get outside. You need fresh air. Also I bet I can guess the gist of what you’re going to tell me.” Regina scoffed at the comment and rolled her eyes unable to hide her doubt. A gentle smirk appeared on Syd’s face as she led them out of the classroom and in the direction of the dining hall. 

“Alright smarty. Tell me _my own_ story.” Regina said sarcastically to hide her nervousness. She glanced at the girl who was still smirking.

“I’m very observant as you already know. When I first saw you two interact my initial thought was _very_ different than what I think now.”

“What did you think first?” Regina questioned. But Syd waved her off.

“I’ll tell you when you’re older.” Syd said which made Regina scoff a bit. “But anyway after watching you two in religion it dawned on me. You two used to be really good friends and then it stopped for whatever reason and you two hated each other. And then last year you two became sort of friends again. There's probably still some tension and you’ll probably still have some ups and downs.” Syd said all of this in a very matter a fact way. There was no snideness or anything.

“How did you-” Regina was shocked.

“The weird vague story you gave us on the first day of orientation. The fact that she doesn’t use your real name a lot and just calls you _princess_ half the time _._ I’ve caught you stopping yourself from using whatever nickname you have for her. Neither of you have made any effort to bring the separate friend groups together when you two would be the obvious bridge. And then today she looked _terrified_ to sit next to you. Not to overstep my bounds and I’m not saying this to be a dick but I’m guessing just from how you both present yourselves that you might have turned from her friend to her bully and then something or someone changed the narrative and you guys are okay with each other now.” Syd once again had the calmest tone as if she was reading from a textbook.

“Syd, are you some kind of psychic?” Regina felt she was going to throw up. Her chance to start anew was ruined. She looked over at Syd who was now the one looking nervous.

“Nah I’m no psychic. Promise to keep a secret?” Syd asked. Regina nodded vigorously. “In high school I was the _biggest_ bitch there. Queen Bee. I wrecked people’s lives for shits and gigs. I had my little posy to help me. I tortured people for _no_ fucking reason and treated everyone I loved like little chess pieces, never like friends. But then… I lost my brother in a car accident leading into senior year and it was like getting hit by a bus.” Regina briefly put a hand on Syd’s shoulder. Syd smiled thankfully at her. “He was the kindest person I had ever known. When he was gone and I heard all the things he did for our neighborhood I realized how much harm I was doing to the people around me. So I came back senior year and successfully turned over a new leaf. I still have to work on it sometimes. Every once in a while when Olivia and Kelly start going off about something I want to tell them to shut it.”

“ _Same_.” Regina said in a fake dramatic tone. The girls shared a laugh as they walked into the dining hall. They grabbed their lunch and sat down.

“So what details did I miss with my reading of your tale of you and _Jan_?” Syd asked with a smirk. Regina, now comfortable with showing the bitch in her to the other former mean girl, shot her a mild glare before rolling her eyes. She looked down at her food for a second and sighed.

“Alright _buckle up_. Also I still am offering the whole ‘if you don’t want to be friends with me anymore after this it’s okay’ because the reason why we stopped being friends is very particular and problematic.” Regina’s heart was racing and deciding she would stare into her salad until she got it all out. “We were best friends until the eighth grade. Nearly inseparable for nine years. Every weekend there was an all day playdate or a sleepover. But as eighth grade progressed I was getting noticed more. New girls started coming around wanting to be friends with me. I said yes, of course, because who didn’t want more friends in middle school? Janis took all over it in stride giving into going shopping and buying new clothes. I started to change as the power got to my head. Like I’ve always been a bitch don’t get me wrong, but the power made me want more and more and I started to manipulate the girls around me. I bent them to my will, but never Janis. I could never bring myself to bark something at her. But even if I had, she would have just flipped me off and told me to stop being a dick. She’s always been an anarchist of sorts. But the other girls started to take notice and were jealous. My birthday was coming up, so they planted this little idea in my head.” Regina paused and took a deep breath. 

“The idea was that Janis was a lesbian and that lesbians were weird and shouldn’t come to my birthday. My initial reaction was no that’s dumb. Janis is my best friend. She needs to come to my birthday. But then I saw them all looking at me in this judgy way that I couldn’t figure out, but it _scared_ me. I could feel the power slipping through my fingers and in my head, at the time, the power over all those girls… somehow outweighed nine years of friendship. I cornered her in a school parking lot with some of those girls and told her she couldn’t come to my birthday because I thought she was a lesbian.” Regina clenched her fists. 

“And then like some _sick_ … _homophobic monster_ , I kept asking her if she was, over and over again until she finally gave me an answer… She said she was a space alien with four butts.” Regina could hear Syd choking on her drink. “Yeah I know it was the last thing I would have guessed. The girls behind me started to cackle and even though I saw Janis breaking right in front of me I started laughing with the other girls and we ran off. By lunch that day someone wrote ‘space dyke’ on her locker and it just went downhill from there. A few weeks later her parents pulled her out of school and put her in art therapy for the rest of the year. I had _never_ been so scared in my life than the day I heard she left school. But the power I created became so addicting, and I somehow convinced myself while she was gone that it wasn’t really my fault. She came back for high school.” Regina’s heart was pounding out of her chest. She looked up at Syd. She looked shocked to say the least but didn’t seem angry.

“So what changed everything? How did you get to being okay with each other?” Syd’s tone was full of curiosity.

“I got hit by a bus.” Regina said simply. 

“Bitch don’t _lie_ to me. You were just so honest.” Syd said, sounding a little annoyed as she crossed her arms.

“Syd I’m being _serious_ . I got hit by a school bus.” Regina said, starting to panic. “Our junior year, this new girl Cady, came to school and Janis befriended her right before I did. Janis convinced her to spy on me and then convinced Cady to help ruin my life. I found out about one of those things they did and I _flipped_ my shit and publicized this horrible thing me and my friends Gretchen and Karen made called the burn book. I threw copies all over the school and that caused a _huge_ fight and all the junior girls had to get together and start apologies to each other as some exercise. When Janis got up there I opened _my_ piece of shit mouth and said “Oh my god it’s your dream come true, diving into a pile of girls.” To which she replied with the entirety of the plot to ruin my life. I stormed out and Cady and I got into it in the road outside of the school and wham bam there came a bus out of nowhere. I died for fifteen seconds. I came back to school in a spinal halo the night of our spring fling and Cady ended up winning queen even though she wasn’t supposed to be there and gave this really beautiful speech about being stars and stuff. I don’t remember all of it because I was still on _a lot_ of pain meds. After that night our two little circles became one. Also laying in that hospital bed gave me time to think about all the horrible things I did to people. Especially those close to me like Gretchen and Karen… and Janis of course.” Regina looked at Syd who was in awe.

“Damn bitch that is a lot.” Syd said, sounding a little overwhelmed. Regina looked away.

“I completely understand if you don’t want to be friends anymore. I promise you I’m not a gross homophobe anymore I-”

“ _Regina_ it’s okay take a breath. I’m not going to stop being friends with you. What you did was fucked up but you obviously regret it and are sorry for it. You called yourself a monster. Trust me when you said that… you can’t fake guilt like that. Actual shit people would never own up to their mistakes. But you did.” Syd patted Regina’s left hand which was still clenched. The blonde let out a sigh of relief. “Feel better _princess_?” Syd stuck out her tongue jokingly, giving her a wink.

“ _Ugh_ no. Don’t start using that name.” Regina rolled her eyes checking her phone. 12:45pm. “Oh shit I have to go to class.” Regina reached across the table and gave Syd’s hand a light squeeze. “Thank you for listening.”

“I gotchu girl. Reformed mean girls have to stick together. We’ll keep each other in check.” Syd said cheerfully.

“Sounds good to me.” Regina said with a wide smile.


	5. No More Secrets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY YOU READ THIS FIRST.
> 
> This chapter is LONG (for me) and heavy. It will be the heaviest chapter in this series and I've listed below all the things that could be upsetting to read for some. And I will have a visual queue of Xs or Os for two of them (where it starts and stops) so if you’d like to skip you can. After this chapter none of the other things will be described on this level ever again. A chapter in the future may have a mention of one in a singular sentence but nothing more. If you wish to skip this chapter due to any of the things below, I will be putting a short synopsis at the end so you can stay in the loop of the story line.
> 
> T/Ws  
> -description of self harm and descriptions of bullying (they’re in the same place) OOOOO  
> -First and last chapter that self harm will be described  
> \- Reference of self harm (post description)  
> -description of a night terror XXXXX

Janis had been avoiding Regina since leaving Religion on Monday. It was now Thursday night after her three hour evening class. From Monday night to Thursday morning, she didn’t come back to the room until Regina was asleep and didn’t ‘wake up’ until she left. When Religion rolled around on Wednesday she sat in the back with her friends Herb and Doris. Syd had turned around and waved to her excitedly and gestured to the seat next to Regina. Janis pointed to her friends nervously expecting her to glare but surprisingly she just shot her a smile and thumbs up before turning back to Regina. Regina didn’t turn around at all. Janis wasn’t dumb, she knew she was mad at her for avoiding her but she couldn’t help it. This fear just rose in her on Monday when Syd acknowledged her and she saw Regina tense and something in her just started to panic. But then she used her nickname in the softest voice and confusion rushed through her brain. She was still trying to process all of it. 

Thankfully her evening class was in the art building so she just chilled there, exploring the building until 11pm. Regina would be fast asleep. Janis was surprised how soundly the girl slept. The last night of orientation she had accidentally let the door slam and was ready to run for the hills but the girl didn’t even stir. She climbed the three flights of stairs to the top floor. Her feet were like ghosts on the carpet barely making a sound. As she approached her door she crossed her fingers that a sleeping Regina would be on the other side. 

She opened the door quietly, turning to shut it. Fear rose in her as she heard the rustling of sheets. She turned quickly to assess what she was dealing with and stepped into the main part of their room. When her eyes landed on the blonde she was confused. When Regina was asleep she was normally unmoving but tonight the girl was rustling and as Janis stepped farther into the room she could hear little whimpers coming from her. She was definitely still asleep but appeared to be having a nightmare. Janis slowly walked to her nightstand and put her phone down and stood unable to take her eyes off of the girl.

**_XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX_ **

The longer she watched the more jolty the movements got and the whimpering started to turn into louder whines of fear. The next thing Janis knew Regina’s body shot up into a sitting position as she let out a cry. Janis’s instincts kicked in and she rushed to Regina’s side of the room, sat on the bed, turned on her desk lamp, and grabbed hold of her hands.

“Regina?” Janis questioned in a panic. She let out another terrified cry. There were tears streaming down her face, eyes open. But it was like the girl wasn’t awake. _Fucking hell_. It dawned on Janis as she moved her hands to the girl's shoulders and gave them a hard squeeze. “Regina.” Janis said, raising her voice. “Regina wake up.” She could see the girl’s eyes starting to change. She softened her voice, “Regina it's okay. It’s Janis we’re in our room. You’re safe.” She watched the blonde come to her senses blinking a few times before processing everything around her. She looked at Janis with an unreadable face. Fear stirred in the brunette. She knew what that was. Her uncle had those too. She knew the emotional come down from those could sometimes be anger. “Regina I-.” 

**_XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX_ **

Before she could finish Regina launched herself onto her wrapping her in a hug. Janis froze for a moment before she felt the other girl’s body start to shake. Janis moved closer allowing Regina’s head to fall in the crook of her neck and slouch against her body. The brunette wrapped her arms around the girl's shoulders tightly as the former Plastic continued to shake. They stayed like that for what felt like hours even after she stopped shaking. Janis waited in anticipation for the blonde’s next move.

“Why are you avoiding me?” Regina asked, sounding wounded, her head still in the crook of Janis’s neck. 

“I’m not-” Janis’s voice was racked with guilt.

“Yes you are.” Regina responded calmly.

Janis signed. “I-I don’t really know why. I mean I do but it’s really stupid and kind of shitty.”  
  


“I bet you it’s not.” Regina said, her tone as if she already knew the reason. She felt Regina retighten her arms around her waist. Janis’s heart started to pound for more than one reason.

“You… I… Religion scared me. When Syd said hey I saw your body tense and I immediately thought it was because you were angry that I was there and I started to panic but didn’t want to say no to Syd. And then I gave you my little speech and you didn’t get angry and you called me… you called me Jan. I haven’t heard that in almost five years and I got all confused. My assumption was that you were just kind of tolerating me at the request of your mom. I didn’t think you would want to be friends here.” 

“Why?” Regina seemed confused. 

“Regina… You came back from spring break and it was like old mean Regina came back but this time it was just pointed at me. You started picking on me again though not for being gay thankfully. Anything I said, you rolled your eyes at me and called me a freak whenever possible, if no one else could hear you. I was so confused and hurt because I thought before that we were actually rekindling our friendship. I’m just really confused and I’m scared to let my guard down all the way. Like you’ve been so nice here and I want to believe that it’s genuine and most of the time I believe it but the shitty part of my brain saw your reaction on the first day of religion and went ‘She’s gonna attack!’ and then you didn’t and I’m just left feeling confused.”

She heard a sniffle coming from her shoulder. “I’m so sorry Janis.” Regina whispered. Janis stole a glance at the girl who was looking at her. Her stomach started doing flips as her green eyes rang with genuine regret. There was a stray tear running down her cheek. Janis started reaching for it but Regina got to it first relinquishing an arm from her waist. The blonde gently pushed herself off of the brunette sitting upright staring into her hands. “If you want to hear it, I’ll tell you what happened over spring break.” Regina’s eyes found Janis’s and the punk thought her heart stopped for a moment. Those green eyes looked so scared and vulnerable it took the air out of her lungs. All she could do was nod. The former Plastic sighed.

“My mom took me to New York City on spring break for a week of Broadway shows. We saw Hamilton, Wicked, Book of Mormon, The Lion King, and this little off Broadway one called Starry the Musical on that Thursday. Mom and I were heading back to our hotel. I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going because I was just so impressed by the cast and just rambling to my mom that I started crossing the street without looking.” Janis’s heart dropped to the first floor as she watched Regina start to shake slightly.

“I heard a horn and tires screeching and when I looked all I saw were lights coming at me.” Regina suddenly stopped shaking and took a long breath in and out. “Somehow my mom yanked me back out of the way and the taxi had swerved thankfully. Then I blacked out and woke up in a hospital. The nurses had to give me a sedative so I would listen to what my mom was trying to tell me. Obviously I didn’t get hit but my mom said as soon as she got me onto the sidewalk I collapsed and started screaming. She had to call an ambulance. They had a psychiatric come look at me and he diagnosed me with PTSD and recommended that I start therapy and medication immediately.” The girl took another deep breath like she was in the home stretch.

“So I did. I started taking stuff for insomnia that I had actually been ignoring for months. I found an amazing therapist named Greta who I actually have an appointment with tomorrow. Which also reminds me.” Janis watched Regina rub the back of her neck and chuckled, sounding embarrassed. “The whole ‘don’t come in the room when there’s a sock on the door’ thing wasn’t for what you probably assumed. It was to keep you away for when I FaceTime Greta. But now that you know I’ll just tell when they are -like tomorrow at 8pm- and I'm going to ask that you not come in for that hour. Is that cool?” Janis nodded quickly trying to think of what to say. “Cool anyway so Greta does this type of cognitive behavioral therapy with me and it helped me sort through the trauma of the whole bus thing. It took weekly, and sometimes twice weekly, sessions from spring break until the end of June to just move past everything directly related to the bus and New York. With so much concentration on ridding myself of the PTSD symptoms I started to lash out at home… and at you. July was when we started unpacking the person I was before the bus and all the people I hurt. We’ve just started talking about my relapse of kindness post New York. It’s not uncommon to experience regressive behaviors after a full blown episode. I wish that I could have worked on that during the first month too so you and my mom wouldn’t have had to experience the old me again.” Regina seemed to be done talking. She looked at Janis almost like she was afraid of what was going to come from her mouth.

“Regina I’m so sorry I had no idea.” Janis said gently. She started scratching at the outside of her arm, picking at small circles of rough skin. “I should have realized your changes were from something serious and not just some petty shit. I feel so bad I’m so sorry.”

“You don’t need to apologize Jan. Fear is a powerful thing. Shit sorry I mean Janis.” Regina smacked her hand to her forehead. 

“You can call me Jan again if you want. I don’t mind it. It just caught me off guard the other day. Honestly it’s nice to hear it again.” Janis allowed a goofy smile to grace her lips. Her heart fluttered hearing the nickname again. She looked at Regina who had relaxed, she even appeared to have a bit of smirk. “What?” Janis asked nervously. 

“I’ll only call Jan if you call me Reg. I won’t lie hearing that the other day really surprised me but I liked it. Even though you were scolding me.” Regina chuckled giving a fake pout. 

“You were being so stubborn. I had to be stern.” Janis chuckled back.

“Yeah well I’ve always been stubborn and will continue to be. But anyway, do we have a deal?” Regina’s eyes were lit up with hope. She stuck out her hand for Janis to shake. The brunette took her hand and gripped it. A spark went between them and both the girls jumped, letting go and looking at their hands. They both started to laugh and Janis could feel blush on her cheeks. 

“Let’s hope that spark is a good sign.” Janis said.

“I think it is. It’s the last bit of the past zapping out of us.” Regina said.

“Right… the past.” Janis’s heart was racing. Regina had just spilled her guts to her. She had to be honest about her past as well. “C-can I tell you something? I feel like you deserve to know.” Janis said, looking away from Regina. 

“Jan whatever it is I’m ready. Let’s get everything out in the open.” Regina said confidently.

**_OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO_ **

“You know on Monday when you asked how I got so good at covering burns?” Janis’s voice was shaking. Only her mom and therapist knew about this. She had even managed to keep it from Damian for their entire friendship. She looked up at Regina who nodded cautiously. “I didn’t learn from wood burning… I-I-I used to… burn myself.” Janis felt shame flood through her body. Tears started to fall but she pushed onward. “I, um… after coming back our freshmen year I had this hope that maybe people would have forgotten about everything. We both know that people didn’t and to be honest it was hell on earth. Even with Damian by my side I felt so helpless and worthless and one day I found a pack of cigarettes on the ground. I had seen so many movies of teens like me smoking and it seemed to help them so I went and bought a lighter. For the first two months I just smoked and it kind of helped ease all the thoughts I was having. I was still in therapy but it’s like going back to North Shore hit a reset in me and I wasn’t as open as I was before.” Janis watched as she talked, Regina’s face shifted between guilt and fear. 

“But one day in October was particularly bad at school. A Junior girl had catfished me and when she revealed herself she did it in front of some boys who decided that holding me to some lockers while the girl called me a “worthless ugly piece of shit dyke” would be fun. Later I was smoking my last cig and I couldn’t get what the girl said to me out of my head. The pain was so overwhelming in my chest and I just wanted to make it stop. Right as I was about to stomp the butt of the cig into the ground I looked at it for what seemed like forever and put it out on my hand. It hurt so bad but that pain made the intrusive thoughts stop.” Janis wiped away tears and took a shaky breath in. “A week or so later after another really bad day I did it again. But that time I still had half a pack left. And then it became a regular thing to keep my problematic thoughts at bay. When I did it I couldn’t hear everyone calling me a dyke or see everyone’s judgy stares. It was like time stopped and I felt free.” Janis watched a few tears roll down Regina’s cheeks and Janis felt like her heart was breaking. 

“I realized where I was putting them had a possibility of being seen so I started researching how to cover burns with makeup. Then I found out about that burn cream I used on your neck. That’s when it just got worse. Damian knew I smoked but he never figured out the bad part.” Janis took a deep breath. “But then then June rolled around.”

“June?” Regina croaked out seemingly unable to stop herself. She looked so upset.

“Yeah. But then a fateful day at therapy brought it to a crashing halt. I had been outside painting all day in a jacket because I had to hide things obviously. My mom had dropped me off at my therapist’s and her AC had broken and my god it was hot in there. So hot I couldn’t take it and took my jacket off. Before I could even check to see if anything was visible, Mya had seen and was wrapping me in a hug. I finally broke down and told her everything that had been happening. She convinced my mom that taking me back to an inpatient wasn’t necessary and that we would just have more sessions until I was able to get it under control. Which I was able to by the time sophomore year rolled around. I also kicked my smoking habit. Mya did some pretty intensive things with me to work on my self loathing thoughts. That’s how the shift in my attitude came about. I just stopped caring because I was finally able to realize that I came first. Whatever the school thought of me didn’t matter because being myself wasn’t a crime… And that’s it.” Janis finished awkwardly not knowing what else to say. The guilt on Regina’s face made her feel so odd. Pre bus Janis would have paid all the money in the world to see that. But now, in the soft light of the desk lamp she just wanted to wrap her in a hug.

**_OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO_ **

“Jan how are you able to be nice to me? I don’t understand. You should hate me. Like want to tear my life apart.” Regina said just above a whisper.

“I already tried and it didn’t work out that well.” Janis somehow let a small laugh escape her body. It triggered something in Regina, who stood up from the bed.

“Janis I’m fucking serious. You should hate me. You’ve said it before I’m a life ruiner.” The girl began to pace.

“Reg.” Janis watched tears stream from the blonde’s eyes. Janis felt like her heart was going to shatter. Regina didn’t get it. Regina didn’t understand. She couldn’t see what Janis saw. The changes she had made. Even with the weird meanness she had been doled out, everyone else was treated so well. And since being here other than like the first hour they were here she’s been amazing.

“No! Jan I don’t understand. If you had done all the things I did to you, but to me, I would have told the whole campus of our past by now. I would have moved out. Fuck I would have tried to sabotaged every friendship you tried to make.” Regina put her face in her hands for a moment and then looked right at her. “Janis I’m a monster, a fucking monster! You have permanent marks on your body because of things I did! You left school, you were a social outcast for years! All because I was a coward. You should hate me! I’m a monster Janis! Why don’t you hate me?!” Regina nearly screamed her last sentence and started walking towards the door. Janis leaped up from the bed and caught Regina from behind before she could get too far. She wasn’t going to lose her again.

The brunette trapped the blonde in her arms who tried for a brief moment to escape but gave up when Janis whispered, “Reg please. Please don’t run away from me again.” Janis’s body ached to make the pain in Regina stop. Tears sprang from the punk’s eyes. “Reg please come sit down.” She loosen her grip. The blonde turned around in her grasp. Their eyes met and Janis felt like she got hit by a truck. _Oh no_ . Janis’s heart pounded and her stomach felt like it was just flying around her torso. _No no no_ . This wasn’t happening. She couldn’t look away from those green eyes. It felt like time had slowed down to a stop. Her whole body started to heat up to a thousand degrees. She watched those green eyes dart around her face and for the briefest second, her lips. She watched the pupils in the center of those beautiful green eyes begin to dilate and it broke Janis from the trance. _Nooope_. No gay thoughts allowed here. Janis took a step back from Regina, releasing her completely. Her stepping away seemed to snap Regina out of the trance too. Janis let out a sigh of relief and gestured to the blonde’s bed. She watched Regina shake her head and could have sworn there was a hint of blush on her face.

The blonde listened to her command and sat on the bed cross legged. Janis turned to her ready to talk but before she could the other girl was patting the bed. Janis felt her face heat up but obliged the request and just prayed the light behind her hid the blush. Though she sat, she couldn’t look at Regina so she looked at the back of her hands and traced circles around long gone scars. 

“I never hated you. I tried so hard but I couldn’t. I was so angry with you yes but I could never truly hate you. Even junior year when _I_ was the life ruiner. Deep down there was this guilt that I just pushed away. It’s like every idea escaped my mouth before I could stop it. I let my anger get the best of me. I’m so sorry for junior year. You absolutely did not deserve that.”

“Yes I did.” Regina said simply.

“ _No_. You didn’t. Reg you may have started this thing but you did very little in the grand scheme of things. Did you write ‘space dyke’ on my locker?” Janis waited for an answer pulling a technique from her therapist out.

“No.” Regina said quietly.

“Did you catfish me?”

“No.” 

“Did you call me a worthless dyke.”

“No.”

“Did you tell me I didn’t deserve to live?”

“No-wait who the fuck said that to you? Was it Jason Weemes? I bet it was I will _kill_ him when we go home for break I-”

“Reg, no violence. I will not tell you who that was. I’m not telling you who any of them are because they don’t matter. Don’t you see? You were so wrapped up in being popular that you actually didn’t pay me much mind. Yes you did take some opportunities between freshman and junior year but it always was low hanging fruit. Shit I had heard a thousand times already. The stuff that truly fucked me up was done by others. Yes what you did was messed up and I was very angry for a very long time. But you've truly changed. How you treated me post change was a little back and forth -but now I know why. How you treat Gretchen and Karen now really proved it. I saw that change right after spring fling. You, Gretch, and Karen didn’t cause me to hate myself. You three and the others may have lit the match that day outside of school, but you didn’t burn down the house.” Janis reached the small distance to pat the blonde’s leg. “I was angry at you. Really _really_ angry. And hurt. But I couldn’t hate you. We spent nine years attached at the hip. That’s like _half_ of our lives. Every time I got close to hating you, some dumb thing we did would flash in my head swashing the rage just enough. All I ended up wanting was an answer to a question. Which I ended up getting the answer to when I tried to wreck your life.”

“What’s the question?” Regina inquired.

“Why did you do what you did to me in middle school? I don’t need the answer now. I watched it unfold in front of me with Cady. The power she wielded was insane. It was like a drug to her. And I even felt it for a brief moment in the gym when we were doing the apology thing. It was intoxicating. I can only imagine what it’s like to feel that all the time.” Janis moved her hand away realizing she had left it there.

“I was also scared.” Regina whispered.

Janis tilted her head confused. “Scared?”  
  


Regina audibly gulped. “Yeah I was scared. The day before I did that to you, all the girls that had joined our little posse snagged me after school and told me that they thought you were a lesbian and that you shouldn’t go to my party. My first reaction was laughing in their faces and calling them dumb and telling them that you were coming. But then they all just started staring at me with this look. It was like they were grossed out by my reaction. Disgusted by the fact that I wasn’t super freaked out by the accusation of you being gay. I don’t know why, but their stares scared me so much I decided that… I would have to give you up… so I would never have to see those looks again.” 

Janis was in shock she had no idea that was the lead up to everything. _Wait_ . It all makes sense now. _Holy shit_. “Reg… I’m so sorry that happened to you.”

Regina scoffed. “Why? It was nothing in comparison to what you faced. I’m just a piece of-” 

Janis didn’t let her finish that sentence as she leaned across the bed and wrapped the green eyed girl in a tight hug. “Don’t you dare finish that sentence or I will paint my freak art all over your new backpack.”

“You wouldn’t dare.” Regina challenged.

“Fine, finish that sentence and see what weird alien is on your backpack tomorrow. Or better yet, I'll resign your pink leather jacket. You think chartreuse will go well with it?” She let go of the other girl allowing her to see the shit eating grin on her face. 

“Whatever fine.” Regina said dramatically rolling her eyes. Janis clapped her hands playful.

“Hey by the way I haven’t said this yet and I don’t want to assume that you know this but I forgive you. For like everything. I don’t expect you to feel the same but-”

“Shut up Jan of course I do. In a weird way if you hadn’t done it I might still be a mean girl. And don’t try and argue with me. I’m exhausted and ready to go to sleep.” Regina said letting herself flop back on the bed.

Janis took that as her cue to get up from the bed. She went to her closet and dug out a night shirt and boxers. She glanced over her shoulder and saw Regina staring at her. “What?” Janis asked. 

Regina snapped out of her trance. “Oh uh nothing sorry. Just spaced out for a bit. I’ll just turn over.” The blonde did and Janis relaxed but her heart fluttered a bit. She wasn’t staring at her in _that_ way. It was almost 1am and she was tired and just zoned out.

Janis quickly changed and hopped into bed getting comfy. As she settled in, Regina’s voice came from the other side of the room. “Good night Jan.” She said sleepily. 

“Night Reg.” Janis said back, but not in a sleepy tone. She wasn’t sleepy at all. In fact she was wide awake. Oh cursed _fucking_ hell. Regina. She… She wasn’t straight. No straight girl would be so afraid of those looks the girls gave her. A straight girl would have just denied it or something but Regina didn’t. She just caved like Janis did when Regina asked her if she was a lesbian. By then Janis had known she was gay but kept it secret out of fear of losing Regina. Regina was scared of those girls’ faces because Regina was not straight. She gave up a nearly decade long friendship to never see those looks again. Regina George was not straight. But Regina didn’t realize she wasn’t straight. Only Janis knew. She hadn’t had her ah ha moment. Her first acknowledged gay panic hadn’t occurred.

Janis thought about hers, and of course who was it who gave her first conscious gay panic? Regina _Hot Ass_ George. It was when they were eleven and Regina had fallen out of a tree in Janis’s backyard. She didn’t break anything but she had scraped her knee pretty bad and twisted her ankle. Her parents weren’t home so all by herself, she got her inside and cleaned up the blonde’s knee and put bandaids on it and found peas in the freezer to ice her ankle. Regina had cried a bunch and Janis still remembered whipping away most of the tears with her thumbs. She remembered whispering that she would be okay and that she would protect her. She remembered they were sitting cuddled up on the couch watching Regina’s favorite moving _10 Things I Hate About You_. She remembered that Regina had leaned back and kissed Janis’s cheek declaring the brunette to be her hero. She remembered turning red and Regina giggling at her reaction. 

Janis squeezed her eyes shut in embarrassment. _God_ she was so fucking awkward. Then _and_ now. Her mind tailed back to tonight and how much their bodies had come into contact for the first time in years. Her mind crashed into them standing by the door staring at each other. No. _No_ . This wasn’t happening _again_ . She had moved passed it. She didn’t have _feelings_ for Regina George anymore. That would be silly. Even though Regina was some kind of not straight there was no way in _Hell_ that Regina would feel that way for Janis. She’d fall for some strong jock girl who could bench press a horse. Not some gangly awkward art freak. _Nope_. Regina would just be friends with the painter. That was fine. Absolutely fine. No reason to have feelings when they would never be returned. 

Janis closed her eyes ready for sleep to take her away from those ridiculous thoughts. A flash of green eyes with dilating pupils zoomed through her mind and her eyes flew open. Who the _fuck_ was she kidding? Of course she had feelings for Regina. She’d had them for most of her life. Even before she realized she was gay. Big dumb dopey fluttery _annoying_ feelings. She had a big _lesbian_ crush on Regina George. _Fine_. 

Janis grabbed her phone off the nightstand, opened up her email, and started typing. 

**_Hey Nielsen_ **

**_I hope your phone is on silent. Is there a time I can come in and talk to you? I’m having a bit of a non academic life crisis if you know what I mean._ **

**_-Janis_ **

Janis sighed, putting her phone down and flipping over to the wall. Nielsen would help her sort things out. Yeah. She was like almost thirty or something. She’d have to have some answers. With the prospect of help tomorrow, Janis was finally able to let her eyes drift closed and fall asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Synopsis  
> It's Thursday evening and Janis has been avoiding Regina since Monday after religion. When she returns to their room she catches Regina mid night terror. Janis is able to wake her. Regina asks Janis why she has been avoiding her. Janis reveals she wasn't sure how Regina saw her (friend or enemy) because of her changing behavior from being mean post-spring break to surprisingly nice since being at college. Regina tells Janis about her trip to NYC and how she was almost struck by a car which triggered her PTSD which led to her lashing out. They both decide to call each other by their nicknames again and have essentially let their past go. Janis feels compelled by Regina's openness and tells the blonde about the bullying she faced after returning to school which led to a period of self harm. Regina becomes upset, blaming herself completely for it. Janis does not allow this and explains that though Regina started it, after that she didn't pay too much attention to the artist. Others in the school caused real mental harm which is what led Janis to that dark place. They both forgive each other for their past in a clear manner. Regina also talks about middle school the girls trying to convince her about Janis being gay and their judgmental looks scaring her into telling Janis she couldn't come to her party. This leads Janis to release that Regina is some kind of not straight. They say goodnight but before Janis falls asleep she admits to herself that she does in fact have feelings for Regina but steadfastly believes that Regina would never return them.  
> The End.
> 
> Hi folks!!! I’m taking a hiatus in order to finish my thesis for grad school. I will be back in the third week of April. Leave a comment if you'd like to! Also thanks to everyone who has left a comment! I’m bad at replying and y’all leave such nice things and I get flustered. But know when I read them I let out an excited goat noise and squee!


	6. Drinks All Around

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! The nightmare thesis is over! I got a little experimental with texting at the end. Hope you enjoy!

It was 8:55pm on Friday and Regina was sitting at her desk with her laptop open chatting with her therapist Greta.

“Regina I am so proud of you for sorting everything out with Janis.” Greta beamed through the screen.

“Me too.”

“So you feel more at peace now? You’ll make it through the year?”

“I think so.” Regina said confidently. She thought about last night and her mind drifted to Janis catching her from behind and her stomach did that lurching thing. She looked at the clock in the corner of her screen and bit her lip. She looked back at Greta who looked concerned. “Okay there’s this one thing. Like it doesn’t bring me anxiety it just confuses me. Can I tell you really quick? Take some time to decipher until our next session.”

“Hit me with it girlfriend.” 

“Okay so it’s about Janis. Sometimes when she’s around, my stomach does this like lurching thing and I don’t know what it’s about. It’s not like I’m  _ nervous _ or anything.”

“Does it happen all the time?”

“No.”

“When were the last three times it happened?”

“Most of last night but especially when she caught me from behind. Monday when I first saw her come into religion class. Oh and when she helped me out Monday morning when I burned myself.” Regina said, a little confused with her needing several examples.

Greta gave Regina a gentle smile and sighed. “I’ll think about it Regina. But I’ll be honest I think this is something you might need to spend some time thinking about yourself. Remember how I said there are some things that I feel like I can’t speak on because they’re not fully realized and there could be a number of varying paths?

“Yes.”

“I think this is one of those things. I don’t see the stomach lurching as a big problem and you don’t seem to either. But I’ll leave you with this suggestion. The next time it happens I want you to reflect more actively on what was happening in the situation. Then try and find a similar moment when it happened before but not with Janis. Sound good?”

“Sounds good to me! Thanks Greta!”

“You’re welcome dear. Alrighty you want to do the same time in two weeks?”

“Yes please!”

“Great! I’ll talk to you then. Bye bye!”

“Byeee.” Regina said before ending the session. Regina closed her laptop and let out a frustrated sigh. She was hoping Greta would have an instant answer to the lurching, but instead self reflection as homework. Greta had done this a few times before and she knew she’d have to try and sort it out because Greta did not like to “jump on a train without knowing the destination.” The last time she did it was when Regina first told Greta about the middle school incident. The understanding that the looks the girls gave her scared her took about three weeks of intense self reflection to figure out. Greta told her later that she thought fear was the probable reason but didn’t want to exclude the concept of anger or disgust being an option as well. Greta probably had an idea as to what the lurching meant but was going to wait patiently for Regina to have a clearer idea of it herself.

She walked over to her bed ready to flop down when she heard a knock on the door. She walked to the door and looked through the peephole. There stood Syd and Olivia smiling. 

“Bitch open the door.” Syd said playfully. Regina obliged and opened it leaning in the door frame.

“I’m sorry, a Miss. Bitch doesn’t live here. You must have the wrong room.” Regina said, smirking.

Syd rolled her eyes groaned while Olivia giggled. “Oh I’m sorry let me try that again.” Syd said sarcastically while she cleared her throat. She knocked on the open door and smirked. “Excuse me ma’am, is  _ Princess _ home? We came by to pick her up so we could get our pregame on and then go to Greek Hill.”

Regina scowled at Syd who smiled back at her and stuck her tongue out. "You're  _ lucky _ I want to go up there so bad or I'd make you try again. Now help me pick out a top." Regina said, turning away before turning back when Syd spoke again.

“Hey since you’re not ready quite yet, what if we pregame in here? More opinions and we get to start drinking sooner?” Syd raised an eyebrow.

Regina pondered the thought for a moment before nodding. “Sounds like a plan. See you in a few.” She heard the door close behind her as she went through her closet to find a few things. She picked things that showed a little skin. She wasn’t looking to hook up with anyone but she wouldn’t mind a little attention. Only a minute had passed as she placed one last top on the bed, when to her surprise she heard the door open. When she turned her head and found grey eyes and it all made sense. She smiled. 

“Hey Reg.” said Janis as she went to her bed and started taking off her boots.

“Hey Jan. How was your day?” Regina asked. She hadn’t seen the girl since Religion. She was happy to find when she walked into class that Janis was sitting where she sat on Monday. She beamed at the girl while the lurching happened. She had forgotten about it until now. 

“It was good. Crushed my Art History quiz today. Found out I’m going to be dissecting a cat on Monday in Bio lab which is unpleasant. Oh and I met the other Art professor today because Aaron was out sick. Her name is Ashley and she’s super dope. She went here for undergrad and grad school and she’s teaching all the drawing classes and might teach the painting classes next year. She does a bunch of cool clay stuff too like Aaron but like paints horses and scenery all over them. Aaron showed her my stuff and she was like really impressed I-” Janis suddenly stopped herself. 

Regina looked at her questioningly. “Jan why’d you stop talking are you okay?” She watched the girl shift nervously and look down.

“No sorry. I didn’t mean to go off about dumb art stuff.” Janis said, rubbing the back of her neck.

“Don’t be sorry! I want to hear about it. I’m  _ definitely _ going to be ranting to you about German and Spanish so I’m excited to hear about Art.” Regina said with a smile. She saw color collecting in Janis's cheeks and the lurching happened. 

“Well I-” Janis started but was cut off the door opening as Syd, Olivia, Kelly, and Lauren came in. 

“Janis!” All four girls yelled. Syd zoomed over to the brunette and wrapped her in a hug. The brunette seemed surprised and the blonde watched her blush grow. Regina felt lurching again but it mixed with something else that bubbled until Syd released the girl. 

“Janis, are you pregaming with us?” Syd asked. Regina’s heart sank releasing that she hadn’t asked Janis if she wanted to join in.

But Janis shook her head unfazed by the question, rising from the bed and walking over to her closet. “Nah I’m heading over to CV for a scary movie night with Herb, Doris, and Barb. We're not quite ready for that part of college yet." Regina watched as she slipped into some sneakers and grabbed a signature denim jacket. She flung it on and adjusted it as she walked to the door. She turned back to the girls and pointed at them. “Make sure you drink water before you go to bed and please please please use condoms.” She raised an eyebrow at them and gave them the mom look. They all nodded their heads. “Good. Have fun! I’ll see your hungover asses tomorrow.” She laughed and flashed them all a peace sign before walking out the door.

The girls turned to Regina who slumped in her desk chair and groaned. "I feel like _ such _ an asshole I forgot to ask her if she wanted to join us."

Syd walked over to her side of the room and patted her shoulder before inspecting the closes on her bed. "Don't worry dude. She's not ready for this stuff anyway. But when she is," Syd turned and playful bopped Regina's nose and wagged her finger. "You better  _ fucking _ remember to ask her. I want to get crunk with her and talk about all the girls we think are  _ hot _ on campus." Regina gaped at Syd. How did she know about Janis? Oh god was it from their conversation after religion? But also who gave her the right to out her? Before she could speak Syd started again. "Hey take a breath we all know she's gay.” Syd held a green crop top to her before shaking her head. “You're  _ not _ the only keeper of that knowledge. With drop/add week, the five of us all ended up in Gen Psych together. She told us today. Well I mean I asked her and she said yes." Regina let out a sigh of relief and then froze.

"You just asked her out of the  _ blue _ ?" Regina felt anger boiling in her. 

"Well  _ duh _ . As another queer woman I needed to know if my gaydar was accurate. As soon as she came over to get you on the first day of orientation I was like wewoo wewoo likely queer alert wewoo. We sit next to each other. I passed her a note." Regina relaxed a bit knowing it wasn't in front of the others. "I wrote, 'Bitch is you gay?' she responded 'DUH. Hbu?' I told her yeah and then we talked about who knew. She asked if she thought our little group was cool with it and I told her of course." Syd held a tight fitting black top up and gestured to the other girls. They all gave thumbs up. Regina took the fabric and started changing as Kelly piped up.

"So when we were leaving she pulled us aside and told us."

"It was actually really cute. She was like ‘Ladies as you may know, I exhibit some tendencies that appear a little odd. The hair, the clothes, and rainbow flag on this jacket, might all seem a little… queer. Well that's because I am a lesbian… I come in peace.’” Lauren said in her usual dream like tone. 

"And she flashed the little Stat Trek peace sign. It was so precious. She's so sweet." Olivia smiled.

"Oh! We should all get dinner in the Highlands!" Kelly suggested excitedly.

"Oh and she can bring her friends!" Olivia said.

"And then we can form a super crew and we will  _ rule  _ the freshmen class!” Syd said and laughed in a maniacal tone. Regina quirked an eyebrow at her. An eyebrow quirk had become their little signal that a mean girl trait was showing. Syd rolled her eyes and sighed. "Okay not rule. Just become very well liked and hopefully be at an advantage when running for positions of power." 

"There we go." Regina said as she adjusted her top. She looked in the mirror and was satisfied with how she looked. The strapless top Syd had picked out hugged her curves nicely as did her jeans. She slipped on some black flats and turned to the girls. “So what are we doing first?”

Kelly shook the bag she had in her hands and the clinking of glass and metal could be heard. “What do you want?” She asked with a wicked grin.

**********************************************

The girls had been drinking for about an hour when they decided they’d do one road of what Syd called spill your guts before heading up to the hill. It was really just truth or drink. They were all feeling the alcohol as the questions and answers were getting a little more real. 

“Okay last round ladies. Olivia, who's that  _ boy _ you were sitting with at lunch today and making  _ eyes _ at each other?”

Olivia blushed deeply and found something to stare at across the room. “Um uh, that’s uh… His name is TJ. He’s a Junior on the football team and is very sweet. We have Lit class together.” Olivia’s face got redder as she spoke.

“Do you think he’s  _ cute _ ?” Kelly asked wiggling her eyebrows.

“That’s more than one question!” Olivia said frantically, taking a swig of her drink. “Okay okay. Kelly. What’s your favorite sex position?”

It was Kelly’s turn to turn red. She paused looking between the girls and the bottle in the middle of their little circle. She grabbed the bottle and took a drink. The girls groaned and called her a ween but she kept her mouth shut. “You’re turn Lauren. Dude are you a pothead or are you naturally this laid back?”

Lauren giggled softly. “ _ Of course _ I am.” She turned her gaze over to Regina. “Regina I don’t know what to ask you.” She tilted her head at the blonde. Regina felt her heart race as Syd leaned over and whispered something in her ear. Lauren smirked softly. “You noticed that as well.” She said to Syd without breaking eye contact with Regina. “What's the deal with Janis’s art wall? You've been staring at it all night.”

Regina’s stomach lurched and she felt warmth creep up her neck. Her eyes fell to the painting she had been glancing at rather frequently for the last hour. It was her only really abstract one with black, grey, white, blue, purple, and pink of all colors. She looked at it a lot in truth. Not when Janis was around but when she was in the room alone her eyes would always find it. It reminded her of something. Up until tonight she couldn’t figure it out. But as the alcohol started running through her body it became clear. It reminded her of the rocks she painted with the artist when they were in kindergarten. They both painted one half pink for Regina’s favorite color and the other half blue for Janis’s favorite color. Regina wrote JS+RG 4ever on it. She thought back to the day of the middle incident and remembered trying to banish the keepsake that had been in her room, to the wilds of her backyard. But when she heard about Janis leaving school she went and found it and nestled in between the roots of a tree they used to lay under and talk for hours. It was still there. Maybe she'd bring it here after a break. She could make room on a shelf. She started to wonder if Janis still had her's.

"Regina, are you going to drink or answer the question?" Lauren asked gently.

Regina shook her head realizing she had gotten lost in thought. She pushed down the blush she felt climbing up her face. "It's the abstract piece on her wall." She waved her hand at the painting. The girls looked at it. "Look at all the other paintings. Pink is one of the main colors on that one, but all the other paintings, not a lick of it. Janis  _ hates _ pink. I'm just perplexed, that's all and my drunk ass is trying to figure it out."

"Why don't you just ask her?" Lauren asked. 

"That's a second question." Regina said flatly before turning to Syd. The girl was smirking at her and the blonde had to suppress the urge to strangle her for pushing the blonde’s buttons. A thought came to her mind and she chuckled. Two could play that game. “Syd. Name one of the girls that you find  _ so _ hot on this campus. And it can’t be a professor.” Regina smirked, feeling triumphant. 

To Regina’s surprise Syd smirked and quirked an eyebrow at her. “ _ You _ don’t want my answer.” She said coyly. 

“Yes _ I _ do.” Regina countered. So it was one of them. Probably her, no offence to the others but the way Syd was posturing herself it had to be her.

“Janis.” Syd said simply.

“Ha! I knew- wait  _ what _ ?” Regina froze. The bubbling from before started up again. Syd’s smirk grew. “Janis?” Regina couldn’t hide the shock in her voice. She noticed Kelly and Olivia looking a little shocked as well.

“Yeah  _ duh _ . Have you looked at your roommate? Janis is a fucking  _ snack _ . She has legs for  _ days _ , a big cute dorky smile, crazy cool style, she’s an artist, and did I mention her  _ legs _ oh my god. All those jeans drive me  _ crazy _ . Trust me, I can’t wait for Matt to put a baby in me and marry his sweet little face. But lord knows that if we had an open relationship she would be the  _ first _ girl I would try and get in my bed. Come one straight girls you have to see it just a _ little _ bit.” Syd said, in a confident fashion. She looked at all the other girls who were nodding in agreement.

Regina couldn’t believe it. Janis.  _ Janis _ was on Syd’s hot girl list? And Syd had reasons that she had already thought out. Syd wanted to fu- oh my  _ god _ . The bubbling inside Regina continued as she tried to collect her thoughts. Janis did have nice legs. From all years of soccer when she was little. And she did have a cute smile. The lurching happened but she forced herself to look at Syd and willed her voice to be as nonchalant as Syd’s. “I see what you mean. She does have a nice smile.” 

Syd seemed satisfied by the answer as she moved on. “Alright bitches lets go up to that hill and meet some people!” All the girls cheered and stood up. Regina let out a breath of relief. The bubbling had calmed little but hadn’t stopped yet. She decided that drinking a more and flirting with some cute boys would help.

***********************************

It was almost 2:30am as Regina stumbled up the three flights of stairs to her room. She felt tears rolling down her cheeks. Stupid stupid  _ stupid _ . She shouldn’t have drank that much. Ugh she could already feel the hangover hitting her. Fuck dudes. But  _ not _ in a fun way. Fuck dudes. They are gross and rude and just  _ terrible _ . More tears flow from her eyes as she manages to open her door quietly. Looked at Janis’s bed and found it empty. A sob realized from her lungs as she dropped to the floor. It felt like her skin was on fire as she thought about what just happened. 

She had been flirting with a boy whose name she couldn’t even remember all night. He was super nice and gave her beers while she and the girls hung out in his frat’s lounge. As everyone seemed to meander around it was just them all of a sudden. They had been talking about their favorite TV Shows when he leaned in and kissed her. She was a little surprised but decided to go with it because he was pretty cute. They had been making out for a little bit when he asked her to come to his room. Regina politely declined saying she was flattered but wasn’t interested in taking things further since she had been drinking. That had always been something she held fast to. If she said yes to drinking she said no to sex. 

Unfortunately for her the boy did not react politely and called her a tease and slut and to get the fuck out of his frat house. Thankfully for her, he yelled at her so loud Syd heard it and came downstairs. When Regina told her what was going on, Syd got up in his face and called him a predatory asshole. This got other frat boys attention. An argument ensued between the boy and Syd and it caused Regina to cry. Her tears seemed to convince the other frat boys that their brother was in the wrong and banished him to his room as they apologized to her. Syd had told her to wait for her to go and get the other girls and they would go home. But Regina shook her off and told her she wanted to go back alone and needed some space. Syd said yes under the condition that Regina texted her when she got to her room.

She took out her phone and held it in her shaking hands. She was surprised to see a text from Janis. Her stomach lurched as she opened the message. 

**1:07am Jan:** Hey I’m crashing with the art crew tonight. Make sure you drink water before going to sleep. I have gatorade in my fridge and saltines if you want any. Let me know when you get home safe. Ninight Reg.

Regina smiled at the text and decided to kill two birds with one stone and start a little group chat. What could go wrong?

**(Holly’s Disciples) Regina George:** As per both your requests I am letting you know I have made it back to the room safely. 

Regina got up from the floor, tossed her phone on her bed, and started changing into pajamas. She heard her phone ding but decided to wait until she wiped her makeup off to check to see who responded. As the first cloth ran over her cheeks she heard another ding. Her heart started to race as several dings came in a row while she wiped over her eyes. Grateful she used minimal makeup, she finished wiping her lipstick off and bound over to her phone. She let herself lay down before opening it.

**(Holly’s Disciples) Syd Libson:** Glad to hear it! Also you’ll be happy to know that asshole ended up getting punched in the face by Kelly’s boyfriend. He touched her butt and Marcus flipped out. 

**(Holly’s Disciples) Janis Sarkisian:** Asshole? What happened? Do I need to come beat a dude up?

**(Holly’s Disciples)** Syd Libson changed her name is Syd

**(Holly’s Disciples)** Syd changed Janis Sarkisian’s name to Jan

**(Holly’s Disciples)** Syd changed Regina George’s name to Reg

**(Holly’s Disciples) Syd:** Some asshole frat dude tried to get Reg to have sex with him. She said no and he called her a slut and tried to get her kicked out of the house. I put a stop to that shit and got his ass sent to bed.

**(Holly’s Disciples) Jan:** I’m coming up to the hill to murder him. Gimme his name, approximate height and weight, and find me a shovel. 

**(Holly’s Disciples) Syd:** Woah slow down there friend. Nothing can be done now. He got knocked out cold. But next time we go up you should come with. You can be our Lesbian in Shinning Armor. Protecting us from gross icky boys and bad decisions.

**(Holly’s Disciples) Jan:** ................. Fine. I guess I can settle for that.

Regina let out a sigh of relief. She thought she was going to have to go back up there to help bury a body for a second.

**(Holly’s Disciples) Reg:** It’s fine Jan. I’m safe. Let’s all get brunch tomorrow at 11. I’m going to bed. Goodnight.

**(Holly’s Disciples) Syd:** Goodnight Princess! <3

**(Holly’s Disciples) Jan:** lol I was gonna say the same thing XD

**(Holly’s Disciples) Reg:** I fucking hate you both.

**(Holly’s Disciples) Jan:** Ninight Reg. Sweet dreams :)

Regina couldn’t help but smile at the last text and her stomach lurched. She used to see that exact text every night for years. She plunged in her phone and did what Greta suggested. She thought to another time a text message made her stomach do that but couldn’t think of anything. She let out a frustrated sigh but allowed drunken slumber to overtake her. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Hope you're staying safe!


	7. The Gay Sherpa

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Get ready y'all there will hopefully be a bunch of new chapters over the next few weeks! Brief PTSD symptoms occurring later in this chapter. It'll be marked like last time with XXXXX.

Janis had ended up sleeping in on Friday after hers and Regina’s reconciliation and never got a chance to talk to Nielsen. But now finally she had a designated time to see the older girl and was grateful. The Learning Center lobby had three different doors but she knew the one on the left would take her to where she needed to be. She glanced down at her phone and saw she was right on time as she looked straight ahead to find Nielsen already looking at her. The ginger flashed her a peace sign and beckoned her to the office as she slipped on a pair of glasses.

“Hey friend.” Nielsen greeted Janis with a warm tone. It put her at ease. Janis was a little nervous that she would be frustrated with her for not answering her email on Friday.

“Hey Nielsen.” Janis said nervously as she put her backpack on the circular table diagonal from Nielsen’s desk. “I’m sorry I didn’t answer back to your email. I ended up sleeping in and then I had class the rest of the day. I’m sorry.”

Nielsen chuckled gently at the brunette. “Janis m’lady, you’re fine. Take a deep breath and sit down. The first week of college is a  _ clusterfuck _ dumpster fire. I saw the timestamp on the email and figured you might not make it.” The ginger rose from her seat with her laptop in hand and walked over to the table. She tilted her head to the side and gave Janis a somewhat concerned look. “Janis you in there bud?”

Janis realized she was still standing and promptly sat in the chair by her. “Sorry.” She mumbled, embarrassed that she had zoned out. Really since Thursday she hadn’t been sleeping well and after Friday night it was almost no sleep. She was having all these pent up thoughts with no one to yell about them with. But now thankfully she was here.

“Dude you  _ don’t _ have to keep apologizing. You’re talking to someone with the same diagnoses as you. An ADHD ridden, dyslexic homo with a sprinkle of anxiety and a dash of depression. You're safe here to zone out, cry, rant, whatever you feel in this office." Nielsen said while she ruffled her hair before settling into the chair across from the brunette. It was a familiar feeling that brought her some peace. Nielsen very quickly turned into the big sister Janis never had. Each day of orientation she spent hours with her in the Steinman group and had been seeing her around campus.

"I'll try and remember that." Janis said, finally allowing herself to sit comfortably in the chair. She let out a frustrated sigh and looked at her ginger counterpart. "Can't I start my ranting now?" Janis asked pitifully. 

Nielsen gave her a smug look. "Yes." Janis shook her fists victoriously and took a deep breath. "Right after we go over your syllabi and schedule and talk about your first week of classes." Nielsen gave Janis a wide shit eating grin. Janis groaned and slumped into her chair.

“But  _ Nielsen _ I’m having a gay existential  _ crisis _ .” Janis whined and pouted.

“Oh honey you’re going to have to do better than that. I see pouty faces on the daily. You’re not even the first one to whip that out at me  _ today _ . Now take out your schedule and syllabi. This can go quickly if you stop being a little shit. Then Gay Sherpa Nielsen can come out and you can tell me all you gay whoas.” 

“You call yourself the Gay Sherpa?” Janis snorted.

“Hell yeah. Buddy you are just one of my dozens of useless gay sheep that I tend to.” 

*************************************

Fifteen minutes later and Janis is all set on the academic front. Nielsen had gotten up from the table and moved back to her desk as Janis packed all of her things. Janis turned to the ‘Gay Sherpa’ and said. “Girls are hot and it’s annoying.” The younger of the girls folded her arms tightly across her chest and huffed. Nielsen quirked an eyebrow and hummed in agreement. “And you know what’s even worse? Hot girls that you’re friends with for most of your life  _ until _ they go and ruin your life because there is likely internalized homophobia within them and stop being friends with you  _ until  _ you end up at the same exact college in the middle of nowhere and you’re fucking  _ roommates _ on top of it. And on top of  _ that  _ you were expecting for them to not want to be friends with you which was fine because then you could just be a functional lesbian with the hot bitchy roommate but  _ no _ she had to go and want to be  _ friends _ with you like old times.  _ AND THEN _ she apologies for everything she did to you and you accept it because it was actually genuine but are also super overwhelmed because now that you’re back to being friends you’re right back to where you were when you were first friends and have  _ terrible _ horrible no good  _ gay _ feelings for a girl who is probably not straight but  _ so far _ out of your league that it will never happen and now you have to suffer!"

Janis watched Nielsen take in all of what had just let slip from her brain. She had a grip on her chin and tapped her fingers on her desk. “Wow bud that is _ quite _ a plate you got there. So let me get this straight.” Both the girls chuckled. “Your current roommate is someone you went to school with. You were childhood friends and then she ruined your life at one point but now you’re friends again. And you have had feelings for her forever. Oh and you mentioned she’s probs gay but she’s out of your league?” 

“Yes to all of it.” Janis said rubbing her temples. “Nielsen I’m going to die from over exposure to hot girls. And when I say girls I mean girl. Dude she’s like the most  _ beautiful  _ girl I have  _ ever _ seen.  _ Fuck _ man she has these obnoxiously beautiful green eyes and this perfect smile.  _ Geez _ and her body, christ it’s like every piece of clothing she owns is customized to her.  _ Ugh _ and she’s so sassy and sarcastic which is like a weak point for me. But also since changing for the better she’s actually like she was when we were younger. This actual kind person who  _ cares _ about her friends and what they do. I almost forgot how to be a human on Friday night. I came back to the room and started ranting about art but stopped because I figured she didn't want to hear. But  _ then _ she looked at me all concerned and told me that she wanted to hear me talk about my stuff. Dude my brain froze."

Nielsen looked at her with gentle eyes. "Oh boy you've got it bad Janis." The ginger sighed. Her face shifted slightly to curiosity. "How do you know she's not straight? It sounds like she hasn't told you."

"Well it's kind of a long story but I'll condense it. We were best friends from preschool to half through eighteen grade. Her birthday was coming up and she out of the blue uninvited me because she said she thought I was a lesbian and since it was a pool party… You see where this leads. But the plot twist that I learned during our reconciliation on Thursday, was that she essentially got coerced into it by some other girls. They told her that they thought I was gay and she like laughed at them and didn't care and said I was coming. But these girls looked at her in this really disgusted way, and it scared her so much that she decided to give up our friendship to never have to see that look again."

"Hmm interesting. Very interesting. Someone straight more than likely wouldn't have gone about it that way. The fear thing makes sense. Has she shown any other indicators of being not straight since being here?" Nielsen asked.

"Well no not that I've noticed." Janis huffed. She felt jealousy bubbling up in her as she thought about Friday night. "She's acted more  _ straight _ than anything." Janis threw her arms up in the air.

"Uh oh. Someone is looking positively green. What happened on Friday?" Nielsen asked.

"She made out with some  _ stupid _ frat boy!" Janis practically yelled. Nielsen motioned for her to lower her voice. "Sorry. But Nielsen,  _ fucking hell _ she made out with a frat boy. And then that frat boy try to get her to have sex with him. And when she said no he called her a slut and tried to force her out of the house. Everything worked out fine and he ended up getting punched in the face but Nielsen," Janis whined the older girl's name. "She made out with some  _ boy _ . I know I shouldn't feel jealous but  _ fuck _ I definitely do."

"Well jealousy is a normal emotion to feel. So long as it doesn't affect how you treat her it's fine to feel it. Just keep it in check. Like if you were to start trying to control her actions that would be a problem."

"Oh hell no I'd never do that." Janis said. She looked away from Nielsen feeling defeated. All these feelings sucked.

"Good. And dude it's okay to feel these feelings. We can't help who we're attracted to." Nielsen came back over to the table, patting Janis's head for a brief moment. "Oh my poor useless lesbian child. You've got a tough situation on your hands."

"I hate girls. Maybe more than I hate boys."

Nielsen chuckled at the girl. "Speaking of boys I'm curious. What was your roommate like on Saturday in regards to the boy?" 

"Oh well now that you mention that. Maybe that's why I'm so frustrated about the jealousy." Janis rubbed her neck sheepishly. Nielsen gave her a confused look. "I don't think she's going to be doing something like that anytime soon. Saturday at brunch she was so angry about everything that she said she was swearing off boys for at least the rest of the semester. She asked all of us to cockblock her if she went pining after some idiot again… So I guess for now I'm safe from new jealous feelings."

"Yeah I guess so. And remember jealousy is a normal feeling we all get." Nielsen said while Janis slumped in her chair and groaned. "Hey hey hey grumpus. Take a deep breath in. But also if you think she's not straight just keep an eye out those ever present gay things."

"Like what?"

"Well does she dress gay. Janis what does this girl even look like? What's her name?"

"Oh shit sorry. Let me pull up her insta. Then you'll understand why she’s such a problem. She is ridiculously beautiful." Janis said opening up the app.

"Well seeing as I'm at least eight years older than you and I work here, I'm not going to be making comments about her on that front. But I can comment on whether she gives off the gay vibe." Nielsen said.

Janis held the phone up to Nielsen. To the brunette's surprise she watched the ginger's eyes go wide. "Dude what is it? Do you think she's  _ gay _ ? Do you already know who this is?!" 

Nielsen waved her off and cleared her throat. "No no sorry dude. She just looks exactly like my friend Emily from undergrad. In terms of gaydar I can't pick up from her Instagram because she seems pretty girly. But femme lesbians are definitely a thing so being girly means nothing. Maybe I'll meet her some time and then I can try and get a reading."

"Other than here, where could you meet her? Do you teach classes?"

"No dude. But I am the head advisor of one of our sororities and she looks like someone who would want to go Greek." Nielsen said matter a factly.

Janis gaped at Nielsen. " _ You _ advise a sorority?"

"Yeah dude. I was in one when I was here for undergrad and now I advise that chapter." Nielsen beamed. 

"But you're so…" Janis trialed off. 

"Gay? Not girly? Yeah that's true." Nielsen said calmly. She was in a green floral button up that was tucked into black pants. She had on matching black shoes and a belt that looked like it came out of the men's section. "But this campus is very different. Had I gone to a big school I wouldn't have joined. But here it's really not the nightmare fuel you see on the internet. And to address the gay thing none of the sororities care here. Each one has had at least two queer presidents in the last eight years."

"Oh." Janis flushed, embarrassed of her assumptions.

"Hey don't worry. Most people are surprised. You should think about going through recruitment in January." Nielsen said, throwing finger guns.

"Which one do you advise?" Janis asked. 

"Dude I can't tell you that. It could unfairly sway your decision." The ginger said.

"Oh come  _ on _ Nielsen." Janis whined.

"Nope. I can't tell you. But if you ask around I'm sure you'll figure it out. Go to some sorority events this semester. I think once you meet my girls you'll be able to pick up on who my little crackheads are pretty quickly." Nielsen had a shit eating grin on her face again.

" _ Fine _ ." Janis groaned. She glanced down at her phone. It was 10:50. "Hey I have to go to Religion… This is my one class with Regina. I'll see you on Wednesday." 

Nielsen wiggled her eyebrows. "Oh boy. Good get her champ." Janis rolled her eyes as she lifted up her backpack. As she went to leave Nielsen spoke up. "Hey Janis." The brunette turned back to the ginger and tilted her head. "I meant to say this earlier. Don't count yourself out as an option for her if she turns out to be queer. You're a dope human." 

Janis let out a sigh. "Thanks Nielsen. I can't see that happening but I'll try." 

"As long as you try you're doing good." Nielsen said, giving her a gentle smile. She flashed her a peace sign. "I'll see you around dude." Janis gave her a smile and a small wave. 

*********************************

Religion had flown by and before she knew it Janis was walking down to the dining hall with Herb and Doris. 

"Dr. Hillgardner is sweet. She makes me want to be a double major just so I can spend more time learning from her. But I don't know if I could handle all that." Doris said wistfully.

"Do it! Or you can have it as a minor. Art and religion go hand in hand if you want them to." Janis said excitedly.

"Yeah babe. I know you could do it if you put your mind to it." Herb said, giving Doris a kiss on the cheek. 

"Ewww  _ heteronormativity _ ." Janis said jokingly. Doris smacked her arm. 

"Hey don't use that  _ word _ for us." Herb said dramatically.

"I'm  _ offended _ ." Doris said jokingly. Before she returned the kiss on the cheek to Herb. Janis rolled her eyes. "Don't be a salty single." Doris stuck her tongue out playfully. Herb was the demi bisexual version of Damian. Doris was the pansexual love child of Cady and Karen. 

"Okay okay I take it back.  _ Ewww _ a loving couple." Janis said while making a puking face. 

"That's more like it." Doris said. 

"Janis! Wait up for us!" Janis whipped her head around to see Syd running to them. Regina was trailing behind her at a much slower pace. The group stopped and waited for Syd. As they approached Syd continued. "You guys going to the caf?" The triad nodded. "Mind if we join you?"

"Not at all." Herb said. "We haven't officially met but I saw you around the Bison Alliance table last week and you're in Holly's class with us. I'm Herb and this is Doris. You're Syd and Regina right? Janis was telling us about you on Friday."

"All good things I hope." Syd said stepping past Janis to get closer to the others. 

"Of course!" Herb said enthusiastically. 

Syd, Herb, and Doris began walking to the caf and Janis decided to wait for Regina. Janis slipped her hands into her pockets and smiled at the blonde. She felt almost dizzy looking at her. West Virginia had crazy weather. Yesterday it was fifty degrees and today it was ninety. Regina had on white short shorts and a mint green crop top with her hair up in a ballerina bun. All the exposed skin had Janis banishing obscene thoughts to the back of her mind.  _ Fuck _ why did she have to be so pretty?

"So, you excited to dissect that cat today Jan?" Regina teased. Janis replied with a middle finger and a gentle glare. "Oh wow tell me how you _ really _ feel." The blonde chuckled. Both the girls stepped into the road through campus and crossed to the other side. Janis's eyes fell on Syd, Herb, and Doris.

"I feel like our friend groups might become one." Janis said warmly while pointing to them. The three of them were laughing hysterically at something. 

"I wouldn't be opposed to that." Regina said casually glancing over at Janis. Janis felt a heat run through her body. "We actually talked about it on Friday. The girls want all of us to go out for dinner. What do you think?" 

_**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX** _

"That sounds good to me I-"  **_ZOOM._ ** Janis jumped, her sentence was cut off as a car flew by the pair. "Fucking hell people need to learn how to drive. Reg are you-" Janis looked over at the girl to find her frozen. "Reg?" It was like her soul had left her body. Janis moved into front of the girl and put her hands on Regina's upper arms. "Regina?" The green eyed girl began to slightly shake. "Reg. Can you speak? Can you look at me?" Green eyes came to her grey and Janis sighed. "Good. Can you talk?" Tears started forming in Regina's eyes as she shook her head no. "That's okay. So long as you nod we're fine. Can I take you back to our room? I don't think it's a good idea to go to the caf." The frozen girl nodded yes. 

Just as Janis was about to speak again another car sped passed. Janis felt Regina's body weight starting to move to the ground. "Reg." The blonde had stopped looking at the brunette but Janis could see tears streaming down her cheeks. "Reg look at me and try and stay upwards." Janis realized walking might not be an option as she clung to Regina in an attempt to keep her upright. Regina met her eyes again. Janis's heart sank as they were filled with fear. "Reg this might sound crazy but I need you to get on my back."

Though the blonde couldn't find words her ability to emote was not lost. Her face flushed red and she gave Janis an ‘are you fucking kidding me?’ look. 

Janis rolled her eyes at Regina and huffed. “Reg if you can’t walk how the fuck are we going to get back to the room? Do you have levitation powers I don’t know about?” The blonde rolled her eyes and huffed still letting more tears roll down her cheeks. “Listen I know it’s going to look weird. If anyone asks I’ll say you twisted your ankle. All you need to do is get on my back and hold on. We can’t just stand here all day. Cars are going to keep coming.” As Janis was saying this she was carefully balancing moving her backpack to the front of her and keeping Regina steady. “Reg are you going to let me do this or not?” 

_**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX** _

The pair looked at each other for a long moment before Regina finally nodded. “Okay good.” Janis sighed relieved. “Alright Reg, I need you to take a deep breath because I’m going to let go and turn around. Do you think you can hold steady for a sec?” The blonde took a deep breath and nodded. Janis quickly let go and turned her back to the girl who wrapped her arms around the brunette's waist. Janis was thankful that she had her back to Regina as blush flooded her face. She moved Regina’s arms to wrap around her shoulders and neck. She crouched down, grabbed the blonde behind the knees and in one fell swoop had her up on her back with her legs around her waist. 

Janis heard a little surprised squeak come from Regina. Janis felt an odd rush of cockiness as she turned them around and headed for Phillips. The brunette decided she would try and make it all the way to their room without having to stop. As she took her first few steps her confidence grew. She felt Regina's leg tighten around her waist. The blonde nestled her chin into the crook of Janis's neck. Janis said a silent pray that Regina couldn't feel the uptick in her heartbeat or the heat creeping up the back of her neck. 

“How ya doing back there Reg?” Janis asked as they reached their dorm quickly. Regina hummed gently and tightened her arms around Janis, making the hair on the back of brunette’s neck stand. She had never been so grateful to live on main campus. Janis had been fielding looks to concerned peers. She mouthed ‘ankle’ and pointed in the direction of it. They all just nodded and kept walking. 

As Janis climbed the three flights of stairs her legs were beginning to shake. As she reached their floor she considered putting the blonde down. But then Regina spoke. “You’re my hero Jan.” Her voice was like the time she fell out of the tree. 

Janis laughed softly. “Nah not a hero. Just a good friend.” She opened the door to the hallway with a new found strength. All she had to do was make it down the hall.

“No you are my hero. You’ve been my hero since we were little. Even when we weren’t friends.”

“Reg, I’m not trying to guilt trip you but the only time we interacted when we weren’t friends was when you called me names or when I called you a bitch.” Janis opened the door to their room. She walked the girl over to the bed and gently squatted down to let her off. The blonde relinquished her grip and Janis hated that she felt bare. Janis walked over to her bed and flopped down exhausted from the trek. She looked over to the blonde who was smirking at her. “What’s that look for?” 

“I  _ know _ you were the one who left saltines and a kool aid jammer on the bathroom sink that time I was puking from food poisoning when we were sophomores.” Regina said smoothly. 

“I did  _ no _ such thing!” Janis said in a panicked tone, turning as red as a tomato. 

“Jan there were _ paint smudges  _ on the kool aid Jan. Also don’t think I didn’t figure out that the very intricately detailed anonymous get well soon card was from  _ you _ . Duplicating the Hallmark seal on the back didn’t fool me.” Regina smirked triumphantly at Janis. 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about!” Janis retorted, embarrassed beyond belief. She looked up at the ceiling. She had worked so damn _ hard _ on that Hallmark logo. And well  _ fuck _ who knew that paint on stuff was her signature?

“Okay fine. I’ll pretend I believe you hero girl.” Regina said as she laid down. She let out a long sigh. “Thanks by the way for carrying me.” Janis looked over to find the girl waiting to meet her eyes. “I haven’t had an episode like that since June. You handled it really well.” 

“My uncle has PTSD. The thing that always worked best involved staying calm and finding a way to communicate. I never had to carry my uncle but I’ve carried you  _ plenty _ of times before so it was like riding a bike.” The girls chuckled and looked away from each other as they fell into a comfortable silence. Not soon after Janis heard the sound of light snoring. She glanced over to see the blonde mouth slightly agape with a smile. Janis quietly rose from the bed so she could get ready for Psych. She thought about waking her but decided to let her rest.

Right as she was about to walk out the door she decided to leave some saltines, a gatorade, and a little note that read:

_ I know it’s not a Kool Aid Jammer but I hope this will help. Make sure you go to dinner. _

As the brunette walked out the door she answered numerous frantic texts from Herb, Doris, and Syd. She gave them the white lie she gave everyone else and headed for the Psych department.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Love you all. Thank you for reading! Leave a comment if you wish!


	8. On Edge

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope everyone is staying safe and healthy right now!

It had been around three weeks since Regina’s PTSD episode and Janis carrying her back to their room. No new episodes had occurred since then but now every Monday, Wednesday, Friday, when walking down to lunch Janis always made sure to walk on whichever side of Regina would put the blonde furthest from the cars. Syd had taken to Herb and Doris like a duck to water and now after every religion class zoomed the couple down to the caf, leaving Regina and Janis in the dust. 

Also since her last episode the lurching had been happening everyday. As much as Regina wracked her brain for other instances of the lurching happening with anyone else it didn’t. The only thing that she realized was that the lurching wasn’t actually a new thing. It used to happen in middle school too with Janis. Memories of Janis carrying her on her back and lying under the tree in Regina’s backyard would flash to her mind. She didn’t understand  _ why _ this was happening. No one else made her feel this way. There was nothing to compare it to that could give her a clue as to why it was occurring.

She had her second Skype session with Greta last week. Since then she had grown more frustrated with the lurching because the older woman refused to point her in any direction. It was the most hesitant Regina had ever seen Greta. They had talked about her night terrors, her death, her painful recovery, her issues with her body, and had gone through all her darkest most negative thoughts. But Greta didn’t want to push any ideas on her. She ended up admitting that she had a pretty good idea as to what it was but there was an ethical dilemma for her in revealing what she thought it was. It upset Regina so much that she lied to the woman saying she had a headache so she could end the session early. 

This week she had been extremely on edge with everyone. She snapped at all her friends at least once since the unsuccessful session. Each time she apologized, blaming it on her period which she didn’t actually have thanks to her birth control. Janis was unfortunately getting the brunt of it though thankfully it wasn’t insults or anything. Just her snapping about her music being too loud or leaving her clothes on the floor. And like in middle school Janis would bite back which Regina wouldn’t have minded if the lurching didn’t happen every time she did.

Now it was Saturday and the Phil Crew was walking back to their dorm from brunch at the caf. Kelly had asked if anyone wanted to join her for the Harry Potter marathon on Freeform in the downstairs lounge, everyone but Regina had said yes. 

Regina almost had another episode when some dick in a truck went speeding by. But Janis had grabbed her hand, entwining their fingers, and squeezed tightly. She had whispered to her to breathe and all they had to do was make it to The Phil. It stopped the episode, but the lurching not only had a field day, it felt like her heart was going to jump out of her chest. They were walking behind everyone so no one saw the interaction.

Bethany was a very hilly campus and though Regina had been deemed fully recovered her body was taking a while to adjust to the hills so she could never keep pace with everyone else. The one time she did keep pace her back ached for days. She had told everyone about the bus, leaving out exactly how and why she had ended up in the road. So she would just wave them on and tell them she’d get there eventually. But if Janis was in the group she’d stay behind and walk with her. A few times she’d caught Syd smirking at them and would feel frustrated with the girl. What the fuck was that  _ smirk _ for? She was probably just checking out Janis and her  _ legs _ . Ugh that was the other thing. Every time Syd got near Janis that bubbling from the first Friday they drank would start. She knew Syd wasn’t going to pull anything but it  _ still  _ caused the bubbles.

When they reached the Phil, Janis let go of Regina’s hand and a whole new feeling went through her but she recognized it as disappointment. Why did she feel  _ that _ way? Between the lurching and the increased heart rate and the new feeling of disappointment she didn’t think she could handle being around everyone so she excused herself upstairs. Janis gave her a concerned look which Regina very nearly made a snide comment about Janis not needing to treat her like a baby but realized she was just being a good friend. She ended up just waving her off as nonchalantly as possible and nearly ran up the stairs to get some space between them. She really did appreciate Janis, but she needed a minute, maybe a couple hours, to herself. The feeling of disappointment was  _ gnawing _ her and her heart was still pounding and not because she sprinted up the stairs.

When she reached her room she immediately flopped onto her bed face first. She groaned into her pillow before turning her head out to the room. Her eyes fell on Janis’s abstract painting and a heat rushed through her body, pooling in her lower stomach. What the  _ fuck _ was happening with her? The heat moved lower and Regina groaned, flipping onto her back looking away from the painting. The heat settled between her legs and the blonde rolled her eyes at herself. This was something Regina normally reserved for Mondays and Thursdays because Janis had class passed 4pm and knew she wouldn’t be walking in on her. If she was quick it would be  _ fine _ . Janis loved Harry Potter so she’d probably be down there for a while. But what if she needed something from the room? 

Regina’s entire body started to heat up.  _ Fuck _ , it felt like she was going to burst into flames. The blonde huffed and got out of bed. She went to her closet and grabbed her bathrobe. She stripped off her clothes as fast as possible and threw on her robe. As she grabbed her shower caddy she also snagged her bluetooth speaker and phone. 

As she reached the bathroom she listened for any signs of human life coming from the area. Thankfully it seemed like everyone was still asleep or already out for the day. For the sake of not drawing attention to herself she picked the stall farthest from the door. She turned on her speaker and put on some loud angry alternative music. She waited for the water to warm before slipping out of her robe and into the stall. Her body relaxed and she let her head dip back into the stream of water. 

To the blonde’s annoyance the heat in the lower half of her body persisted, so she gave up and decided to take care of it. She bumped her speaker up a few notches and allowed her hands and mind to wander. Hands grazed of soft skin while she conjured up images from her past sexual escapades. Shane popped into her head but _quickly_ moved on from it when it didn’t help things along. Aaron came to her mind next and she scrolled through a number of things but _still_ nothing was helping. She moved her hand faster but _nothing_ seemed to help. She was about to give up and reside herself to wait until Monday when she had plenty of uninterruptible time and better resources when a dream from the other night popped into her head. It hadn’t started out as an inherently sexual dream. She was being carried, but didn’t know by who. She had felt safe in their arms as they walked along a hallway. She was wrapped around the front of them and her head was nestled into their neck. It wasn’t until they stopped walking and she felt her back against a wall that it had gotten interesting. There were lips on her neck and hands had moved to her ass. As teeth replaced lips she felt the unknown hands give her ass a squeeze. Regina very quickly felt a release building in her as the dream progressed. One of the mysterious hands moved to grip her hair and tugged on it lightly giving them better access to Regina’s neck. They also pressed the blonde impossibly closer to the wall causing their hips to collide and sending a spark through her body. Fuck, _fuck,_ _fuuuck_. She replayed the last part of the dream in her head a few more times before biting her hand to quiet the noises escaping her lungs. She let her forehead fall against the tiled wall as her breathing evened out. Her muscles were finally relaxed and that feeling of being on edge finally started to subside.

She thought about turning her music down but figured it might be suspicious if someone was around. The rest of her shower was uneventful. Though she did start to wonder who the mystery person was meant to be in the dream. It certainly wasn’t Aaron  _ or _ Shane but the body felt familiar. It was smaller than the boys and softer than them too. Who the fuck _ was _ that? As she got out of the shower she decided to cast the dream to the back of her mind. She’d figure it out eventually but right now she just wanted to go back to the room and change into some comfy clothes. 

When she opened the door to her room she jumped out of her skin when she almost ran into Janis. Both the girls screamed and jumped back, dropping the items in their hands.

“Holy shit sorry Reg.” Janis said before bending down to gather the blonde’s things and handing them to her. For whatever reason this set Regina back on the edge she just got off of. 

“Fucking  _ hell _ Janis you don’t have to  _ baby _ me.” Regina snapped as she walked by Janis. “I know that my  _ brain _ is jacked up but I’m not a  _ child _ .” She heard Janis sigh gently behind her along with the sound of her picking up things. The lurching happened, probably in anticipation of a retort from the brunette but it didn’t come. Without thinking or looking at Janis, Regina went in again. “I don’t _ need _ you to coddle me. You’re not my  _ mom _ or my fucking  _ therapist _ .” Her tone was bordering very closely to hostile.

“I’m going to chill by the fountain and paint Old Main. You want to come?” Janis asked casually.

“ _ What _ ?” Regina asked, shocked. She looked at Janis who had a paint covered backpack on with a canvas in one hand and a collapsible easel in the other. 

“You want to come with? I have a blanket you can chill on and I have some good books in my nightstand. They’re not  _ all _ lesbian books don’t worry.” Janis’s tone remained enough as though Regina wasn’t being rude. More anger was building in Regina.

“ _ Don’t _ do that Janis!” Regina snapped again. The lurching was happening and her heart was racing again.

“Do what?” Janis asked calmly, though her lips were drawn in a straight line.

“Don’t treat me like a  _ child _ !” Regina said

“Then stop  _ acting _ like one and use your  _ adult _ words!” Janis retorted, finally losing her calm exterior. She dropped her stuff on the ground and took a few steps towards Regina who was standing by her closet. 

“I’m  _ not _ acting like one!” Regina practically yelled, taking a step closer to Janis.

“ _ Bullshit _ ! You’ve been in a piss poor mood since  _ last _ Friday. You’ve been snapping at everyone and trying to start arguments with me. Everyone else believes the period thing but in case you forgot, you wouldn’t  _ shut up _ at the end of last school about the in-arm birth control you got and how you won’t get your period anymore. So you’re not fooling  _ me _ . I  _ know _ you’re just trying to get a reaction out of me. You’re just trying to rile me up into a  _ full blown _ argument for some god damn reason. And you  _ did _ , so congrats.” Janis pinched the bridge of her nose and let out a long breath. “Listen I’m not trying to baby you. When I grabbed your hand today I wasn’t thinking oh this  _ poor _ helpless  _ baby _ needs me to come to the  _ rescue _ .” Janis looked wounded.

“Janis-” Regina said weakly. Anger was replaced with guilt.

“Let me finish.” Janis said firmly. Regina fell silent. “I’m your friend Regina. This is how I treat my friends. Maybe you’ve forgotten but  _ this  _ is how I operate. I’m a caregiver. I’m naturally inclined to do this. When Damian broke his wrist in January, I carried all of this stuff even though his other arm was fine because I  _ cared _ . I took Cady to see the Lion King musical five times after her grandpa died because I  _ cared _ . I’ve answered Gretchen’s 3am FaceTime calls because I  _ care _ . I sat with Karen for hours teaching her reading strategies because I  _ cared _ . I walk with you on campus when I can because I  _ fucking care _ . I’m not doing this for praise. I’m not looking at you guys with pity when I do this shit. It’s because I  _ can’t _ help it. It’s how I tell people I care about them and love them without saying it.” Janis looked away for a moment like she was trying to find the right words. “Listen I don’t know what’s happening in your head but if you want to talk about it I’m here to listen. I’m  _ not _ going to do it via an argument though.”

“Jan I’m sorry.” Regina felt like she was going to start crying but she pushed it down. “There’s something happening with me that I don’t really understand and it’s really been getting to me recently. It’s like this weird feeling in my stomach that I get sometimes around people and it’s confusing because it’s never happened before. Greta seems to know what it’s about but is hesitant to tell me which is just making me more frustrated.” 

“It is specific people?” Janis asked.

“Yes.”

“Do you want to share who they are?”

“No. I’m sorry.”

“Hey that’s okay. You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to.” Janis said before walking back to her things and picking them up. “I’ll be out by the fountain if you need anything or just want to chill. The blanket’s under my bed.” With that Janis left the room.

Regina let her head fall. A feeling of shame washed over her. She had started that attention seeking shit  _ again _ and didn’t even realize it. Janis was right. The blonde had been trying to rile her up but for whatever reason, the blonde didn’t really know why. More guilt rushed through her as she thought about how easily Janis seemed to move past the whole thing. If Janis had been acting this way to  _ her _ , she probably would’ve given her the cold shoulder for  _ days _ . Regina let out a long sigh and started getting dressed. She put on a soft grey shirt and some navy gym shorts and braided her hair before flopping onto her bed.

She dozed off for a bit and started having a dream.  _ She was in the same hallway from the mystery person dream. But this time she was walking and holding the person’s hand. Try as she might, she couldn’t turn her head to see who it was. The person had moved their hand slightly to trace circles in her palm. _ Regina’s eyes shot open. No. No  _ way _ . It couldn’t be… No no someone else  _ must _ have done that. Aaron probably did the sap that he was. Someone else had to have done that to her hand. Her stomach lurched. 

She sat up in bed and pulled her knees to her chest. She was going to lose her  _ mind _ if she didn’t figure out this lurching. Why was it  _ only _ Janis?  _ Fuck _ . She turned her head and looked at the painting. And why did that painting make the lurching worse? Sometimes she felt like it was staring at her. She wanted to rip it off the wall. She wanted to yell at it. She wanted to ask Janis what it was about. 

She got up from the bed and slipped on some flip flops. She grabbed her water bottle and walked over to Janis’s bed and looked under it for the blanket. There was something that looked more like a drunk rug but it had to be what the brunette was talking about. She grabbed it and snagged the first book off the shelf that she recognized. 

As she made the short walk over to the front of Old Main she took in the campus a little more carefully than before. Old Main was over one hundred years old. In the stark light of high noon, it almost looked like a castle in a way. The clock tower in the center of the long building was at least three stories taller than the rest of the structures on campus. Some of the trees looked like they had been there since the beginning of time. Their trunks were so wide she thought it might take six or seven people to wrap around the entire thing. Her eyes moved towards the fountain and immediately saw the artist. 

She was sitting on what looked like a camping chair but stool sized. She had pulled her hair up into a messy bun and though only a third of the canvas had paint on it, her arms were already covered. A bucket of water was beside her which had some paintbrushes already in it. Regina smiled at her friend whose tongue was out staring intensely at the enormous looming building. 

“How are you  _ already _ covered in paint?” Regina chuckled.

Janis turned to the blonde and smiled. She watched the brunette look at the things in her arms. “I don’t always like to use my palette. The paint feels good on my skin plus then I can make some temporary art when I’m done. Which book did you choose?” The brunette pointed to the book tucked under the blonde’s arm.

“Holes. It’s one of my favorites.” Regina said as she placed the blanket on one side of Janis. She laid on her stomach and popped open the book. She glanced up at Janis who was already glancing down at her.

“You’re not starting at the beginning?” Janis asked in a confused tone.

“Nah. I’m in one of those moods when I just want to read my favorite parts.” Regina said looking back down to find the page where it started.

“Which parts are your favorite?” Janis inquired. Regina could see her peaking at the pages out of the corner of her eye.

“Sam and Kate’s love story and Kate’s revenge quest after. Every time Sam says ‘I can fix that.’ I just  _ melt _ .” Regina said. She looked up when she heard snickering coming from the other girl. “Don’t laugh at me. I like cute romances,  _ sue _ me.” Regina smacked Janis on the leg playfully with the book. She saw a paint brush coming towards her face. “Janis  _ Naomi _ , you  _ don’t _ want to start this war.” She said, narrowing her eyes. The brush froze only an inch away from her face. The blonde smirked and looked passed the end of the paintbrush to find grey eyes glaring at her.

“You’re no fun.” Janis’s glare turned into a pout before she turned back to her painting. Regina’s smirk grew as she found the page she was looking for. 

They stayed in their peaceful silence for nearly an hour before Regina remembered the main reason she decided to come down here. “Hey Jan?” Regina asked quietly, closing the book.

“Yeah Reg.” Janis replied without looking away from the painting.

Regina paused wondering if it was a good idea to bring it up. It could cause  _ more _ problems and tension between them. Bring up past wounds. But Regina  _ couldn't _ stop thinking about it. She had to at least try to get an answer. “Do you still have your rock?” Regina watched the paintbrush in Janis’s hand freeze mid stroke. The blonde could tell she was processing the question. The brunette took in a deep breath and slowly let it out.

“Yes.”Janis said quietly. Regina was honestly surprised. She thought after everything the blonde caused, Janis should have tried to shatter it. “It’s actually in our room.” Janis said, still staring at her painting.

“It  _ is _ ?” Regina was shocked.

“Yeah it’s with all my other little things in my nightstand. It’s like the oldest keepsake I own. Even with all the bumps in the road that rock means a lot to me.” Regina was staring at Janis trying to will the girl, whose face was unreadable, to look at her. The Plastic didn’t know what to say. “Do you still have yours?” Janis asked.

“Yeah it’s under our tree- I mean a tree in my backyard.” Regina felt blush on her face.  _ Shit _ she couldn’t  _ believe _ she called it that. She watched a small smile peak on the brunette’s lips. But her eyes still danced across the painting. Regina watched her drag the paintbrush over her forearm, picking up a forest green color. Regina still had a question. “Janis I have another question that you don’t have to answer but it’s been itching at me for weeks.” She watched Janis tense.

“Ask away.” The artist’s voice was shaking.

“That abstract piece on your wall. Is there a bigger meaning behind it? It’s the only thing I’ve ever seen of yours with pink in it. I know this is going to sound weird but it reminds me of our rocks. You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to. I’m sorry.” Regina said all of it pretty fast as she started to panic halfway through her second sentence. She was about to apologize again when Janis finally spoke.

“It does have meaning behind it.” Janis put her brush in the bucket and turned her entire body to Regina. Grey eyes finally met green eyes and the lurching happened. Janis took another deep breath in. “See I have this friend and she’s  _ very _ different from me. But really only on the outside which is why I have pink and blue. The colors can seem rather opposite. Especially in a societal way with pink being seen as feminine and blue being seen as masculine. But when you put them together they make a new and beautiful color. The fact that it makes a pleasant color implies that there were similarities within them that allowed for the mixture of them to make purple. That’s like this friend and me. She looks pink and I look blue but we're  _ really _ both purple.” Regina felt the blush on her cheeks deepening with each sentence that came from Janis’s mouth. The lurching was having a fucking  _ rager _ in her stomach and her heart was racing. “We appear to be very different to the outside world but we’re actually very similar on the inside and it’s dope. Just like the purples.  _ Neither _ of us probably want to admit that but I will this  _ one _ time. I painted it in May when we were going through a really rough patch. It helped me move past all the negative emotions I was experiencing at the time. But it’s a lot better now. She can  _ still _ be a dick sometimes but so can I.” Janis had started rubbing the back of her neck in her last few sentences. She watched the artist’s eyes and saw a flash of fear. “I can take it down if you want.” Janis said quickly, turning back to her painting.

“ _ What _ ? No, Jan  _ absolutely _ not. That painting is  _ beautiful _ . It’s… Well it’s honestly my favorite one on the wall. I’m probably a little biased because I like pink so much but it’s also just really cool.  _ Please _ don’t take it down.” Regina looked at Janis pleadingly. The brunette looked down at her and smiled. 

“So long as you’re cool with it I’ll keep it up.” Janis said, smiling wider when Regina beamed excitedly and giggled out a 'Yay.' Regina opened the book again to allow Janis the peace and quiet she needed to finish her painting. The pair stayed out there for another two hours chatting occasionally. Regina almost invited Janis to come out with her and the girls to Bubba’s but something in the back of her mind stopped her. She’d start asking her next weekend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it got a lil bit frisky in this chapter. I'm not going to lie I'm struggling to understand where the line between mature and explicit is on here. I originally started on FFN years ago so M encompassed everything. Depending on where my mind wanders the rating might change. Below is my sideblog if you want to share any feels about the possibility of the rating switching to E. I turned anon asks on. 
> 
> https://why-do-i-like-you-ya-dumb-bean.tumblr.com/


	9. Was she...?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have fun :)

It was nearly 1am and Sunday had just begun as Janis sat in her bed relaxing reading one of her ten books _Fun Home_ while she listened to old Tegan and Sara songs. She had been feeling extra gay all day so she decided to go hog wild. Part of that feeling may or may not have been attributed to spending _hours_ with Regina that afternoon. The brunette caught herself stealing glances at the blonde while she read. She thought back to the Plastic asking about the rock and the painting and blush ran up the back of her neck.

She was alone tonight in the room because the art gang had gone home for the weekend and she wasn’t comfortable asking Regina if she could join in with her crew yet. Both groups were practically one by now. But without the art gang she felt a little uneasy asking to join in just by herself. But if the girls asked her to join she always happily said yes. Tonight’s added element of alcohol consumption made Janis very hesitant to ask. There was always the possibility it could cause the return of old Regina. Especially with how she had been all week. They seemed to have moved past it with her little lecture to Regina but she didn't want to chance it. So when the blonde got ready to go to Bubba’s for the night and didn’t ask, she figured Regina wasn’t ready for that to start happening either.

Though Janis could have _sworn_ she caught the blonde staring at her a few times. She would see it out of her periphery, but by the time she looked up the other girl had turned or had her eyes glued to her phone. When Regina was going to leave for the night she stood at the door for a good minute until she shook her head and mumbled something before turning to Janis to say goodbye. Janis could have sworn there was this look of sadness or disappointment but she didn’t know why it was there.

Right after the blonde left, Sebrina had called for a check in. Janis remembered the woman's voice being so tense but hopeful. Janis had practically forgotten about the deal she made, even with Regina's behavior the past week. Janis happily told Sebrina that they'd be staying roommates. The brunette had to hold the phone away from her ear right after because of how loud Sebrina squealed with excitement.

As Janis turned the page of her book she nearly _died_ from a heart attack when the door swung open so hard that it shook the wall. What followed the noise was almost as scary. Kelly and Lauren entered holding Regina, whose head was hanging, between them. Their expressions were both tired. Syd and Olivia followed in right after, stumbling and giggling. Kelly and Lauren looked at Janis with apologetic faces as they stood frozen in the middle of the room

“Regina sweetie we made it back to your room.” Kelly said gently.

The blonde’s head shot up and looked all around before landing on Janis. “Janjan.” She said dopeily with a wide smile. She freed herself from Kelly and Lauren and started stumbling towards Janis. The brunette instinctively put her book down and took off her headphones as she rose from her bed. “Janjan I’m so happy your-” Regina’s foot caught on the area rug and would have probably broken her nose had Janis not leaped forward and caught her, letting the green eyed girl nearly body slam her in the process. “-home.” The girls’ eyes met and Janis quickly stepped back, letting go of the other girl’s waist and moved a hand to her shoulder to prevent another near disaster.

“Woah there princess. Gotta be careful of the rug.” Janis said while looking at the other girls. Kelly and Lauren looked exhausted but judging by the other two cackling on the floor, their night was _far_ from over. She gestured for them to go. When it looked like they were going to protest, Janis cut them off. “I got this guys.” The girls listened and emptied out of the room. Janis turned her attention back to the drunk girl who was thankfully still standing. The blonde was staring out the window with a big derpy drunk grin. “Reg?” Janis questioned.

“Janjan!” Regina exclaimed as she focused in on Janis as if she hadn’t seen her yet. The brunette felt the blonde's hand slip into hers and started making circles in her palm. Janis felt her whole body twitch at the familiar movement from their original friendship, there was _definitely_ blush on her cheeks. “Janjan. I’m so happy and I’m also so drunk.” Regina burst into giggles and started to sway.

“Oookay let’s get you sitting _down_ .” Janis said, carefully guiding Regina over to her bed. Janis felt Regina’s arm snake around her waist. The brunette tried to ignore the ever present heat of blush spreading across her body. Once they got to the bed Janis pushed lightly on the blonde’s shoulder to get her to sit but she didn’t budge. Janis looked at her and noticed her face looked a little paler and eyes had gone blank. “Oh _shit_.” The brunette said as she reached to her right and grabbed the trashcan nearby. She put it in the other girl’s hands and used both her arms to push the girl down to sit.

The next ten minutes weren’t pretty. The demons were coming up and all Janis could do was stand over her and rub her back until it was done. Thank goodness the blonde had done her hair in a braided side pony. When it finally seemed like it had come to an end Janis moved her hand away and went to grab some water but Regina caught her wrist. 

“Janjan _nooo_ you _can’t_ go yet.” Regina whined with her head still in the trashcan. The blonde was running her thumb on the inside of the brunette's wrist, causing a shiver to go down Janis's spine.

“I’m just going to grab you some water out of the fridge. I’m _not_ leaving you like this.”

“You promise?” Regina must have been pouting.

“I promise.” Janis replied softly. The blonde’s grip disappeared and the brunette quickly walked over to the fridge and grabbed the pitcher of water and a cup. Just as Janis turned back to Regina, the _poor_ drunk girl was slumping to the side letting her head hit the pillow, eyes shut. Her feet were still on the floor. Janis brought the water over and moved the trashcan out of the way and sat on the floor beside the bed. “Reg?” Janis questioned softer than the last time.

Regina’s eyes flew open. “Janjan you came back!” She smiled softly at the brunette making the ladder’s stomach flip. The blonde booped the brunette’s nose and giggled. Janis’s heart began racing and she _definitely_ felt blush on her cheeks.

“Of course I did Reggie.” Janis decided if Regina was going to use her elementary nickname then so was she. “How about we have you sit up and drink some water before you go to sleep?” 

“ _Nooo_ Janjan.” Regina whined, throwing a hand over her face dramatically. “I _tired_ . I want _sleep_.” Her command of the english language was getting interesting so Janis decided to push the water.

“Reggie.” Janis said in an even tone while straightening her posture on the ground. The girl was still hiding behind her arm. “Reggie look at me.” Janis commanded softly. Her girl complied with a lamenting sigh. Janis cleared her throat deciding she would have to use her mom voice. “Reggie, you _need_ to sit up right now and drink some water or you’re going to be sorry in the morning when you have the _worst_ hangover _ever_ . At least give yourself a _chance_ to be functional tomorrow.” Janis grabbed the glass and filled it to the top with water holding it at a distance that Regina would have to sit up to take it. She thought about just putting it on the nightstand but she could see stubborn drunk Regina trying to drink it laying down and slipping it all over. Regina stared at the glass for a few moments and huffed still not moving. “ _Regina._ ” Janis said sternly.

A smirk graced Regina's face then as she cocked an eyebrow at her sober counterpart. Janis watched in confusion as her eyes grew darker. The blonde huffed one more time and pushed herself up. Regina, still smirking, looked into the artist’s eyes and started to lean towards her. What the _fuck_ was she doing? Regina’s face grew closer and closer to Janis’s leaving her frozen. _No_ way. No _way_ this was happening. She _had_ to move. Regina was drunk and she was sober. Regina didn’t _really_ want that, she was just _drunk_ . She’d be _furious_ in the morning if she remembered. No no _no_. Regina was only inches away. 

Just as Janis was about to tumble backwards she felt Regina’s hand graze the hand that was holding the glass and felt the cool object leave her grasp. Regina’s still smirking face let out a hum of satisfaction, still not breaking eye contact with Janis. She leaned back until she was sitting up straight. The blonde closed her eyes, putting the glass to her lips. Janis breathed a sigh of relief having _finally_ been released from her gaze. She looked at her hands and they were shaking. What the in the actual _fuck_ was that? Janis heard the glass on the nightstand and looked up.

Regina’s eyes dancing all over Janis’s face. The brunette watched the blonde's eyes land on her lips and listened to giggles escape the drunk girl’s lungs. A sigh followed it but it wasn’t a regular Regina sigh which most of the time signaled some sort of frustration. It was a type she hadn’t heard since _middle school_ . It was reminiscent of the sigh she used to give Brian McClee when she would see him in the cafeteria. She had the _biggest_ crush on him for years. Janis’s face started heating up as Regina gave another middle school sigh, her green eyes finally moving away from Janis’s lips and found her grey ones. “Janjan, it's not _fair_.” Regina pouted.

“What’s not fair Reggie?” Janis asked nervously. Regina giggled at the question and flopped back on her bed, spreading out like a starfish. She watched the Plastic glance at her, eyes running over whatever she could see of Janis. Regina turned her head towards the wall, sighing again though it sounded more forlorned than the others.

“Nothing.” Regina said simply. She was quiet for a minute. So quiet, that Janis thought she might have fallen asleep. “Can I borrow one of your big shirts? I don’t wanna wrestle on a tank top tonight. I’m _too_ drunk for that shit.”

“Um, uh, yeah sure let me grab one.” Janis said standing up. She went over to her closet and grabbed the first one she saw. She looked closer at it walking over to the blonde and realized it was her favorite night shirt. She hoped silently that Regina was done puking. When she looked up, she found a standing Regina, tossing her black top towards her hamper. Janis froze a step away as she felt heat flash through her body and she was positive her face was _crimson_ at this point. Her empty hand flew up to her eyes. “Jesus _Christ_ ! Reg _warn_ a girl!” Janis said as she tossed the shirt at the girl and spun around opening her eyes. They fell right on her award winning painting and another flash of heat went through her.

“You haven’t changed _a bit_ Janjan. Always the gentlelady.” Regina said smoothly letting out another satisfied hum. Janis shut her eyes tightly trying to banish the image of Regina in her bra from her mind. But her mind started to wander in the opposite direction. _Fuck_. Regina used to do the same thing when they were younger and Janis would always turn around or cover her eyes. 

The brunette tapped into a forgotten part of her brain that helped her identify certain sounds. She heard Regina grumbling followed by a sigh. The sound of something hitting the hamper quickly followed. Then she heard the sound of a belt undoing and the sound of cloth hitting the ground. The sound of a body hitting a bed, more grumbles, and a few curse words came next. Regina was probably trying to wrestle her jeans over her shoes. Soon after the sound of shoes hitting the floor came followed by more cloth hitting the hamper. There was then a distinct lack of movement. Last, she heard the sound of sheets rustling and decided it was safe to turn around. To her surprise Regina wasn’t under her comforter, just sitting on top of them pretzel style. _Damn_ Janis could have sworn-

“I _knew_ that would make you turn around.” Regina said cockily, smirking. 

Janis rolled her eyes and folded her arms trying to look composed, but it was _hard_ . Regina looked _obscenely_ cute in Janis’s shirt. The brunette tried her hardest to keep her eyes on the blonde’s face but caught herself glancing down. She also wondered what it would look like _off_ of her. No _no_ . She wasn’t interested in _Janis_. “And how did you know that?” Janis tried to sound tough but her last word cracked. She watched the Plastic’s gaze run up her body before meeting her eyes and quirking an eyebrow.

“I have a good memory.” She said in a tone Janis thought sounded almost flirty. “Seems like _you_ do too.” She tilted her head to the side and stuck her tongue out a little. Janis watched the girl slide under her comforter and rolled to the wall. The blonde turned her head back to brunette for a moment. She seemed to be deep in thought as she gazed at her softly. She turned back around without another word but let out another one of those Brian McClee like sighs. 

Janis stood there for a bit, running the past thirty minutes through her brain. Had Regina been flir- No… _No_ . That wasn’t possible. Regina could _never_ feel that way for Janis. They were friends and Janis was just happy for _that_ to be true again. Her brain was just projecting her _own_ feelings and desires onto Regina’s actions and twisting them to see what she _wanted_ to see. There was _no way_ Regina George had feelings for her, Janis Sarkisian. Janis wasn’t _cool_ enough or _hot_ enough for Regina. She thought about the boys Regina dated and liked in high school. They were all cool, rich, and ripped. That's probably what she wanted in a girl too. Janis wasn’t _any_ of those things so there was no way that she had been _flirting_ with Janis just a few minutes ago. She was just drunk. 

But another part of her mind was _screaming_ that she was wrong. Regina had nearly kissed her or so it seemed. The blonde had stared at her as if she was checking her out. And she had stared at Janis’s lips for quite some time. _Fuck_ and those sighs. What the fuck was _that_ about? And what about this afternoon and her _blushing_ as red as a firetruck when she told her about the painting. That had to mean something. And all the random touching right before and the palm thing _oh my god_ . It had to be something. Wait no _no NO_ . Janis cast those thoughts away and shook her head. No. Whatever was fueling Regina's behavior had _nothing_ to do with Janis. Alcohol made people do _crazy_ things. The one and only time she had drank in her life so far, she danced on a table. Sober Janis would _never_ do that.

Janis looked more closely at the girl across the room and noticed her breathing had evened out. The brunette let out a sigh of relief and went to her closet to grab a pair of boxers and a giant shirt. She glanced over at Regina to make sure she was still facing the wall before quickly changing. Her eyes found the sleeping girl again and noticed the empty glass. She filled it and disposed of the contents of trashcan in the bathroom before going to her own bed. Her headphones were still playing music and her book had fallen onto the floor. She put her things away and turned off her lamp, climbing into bed.

She laid on her back and stared at the ceiling, allowing her eyes to run over her art. Like north and south magnets being pulled together her eyes landed on _the_ painting. She thought back to two days she spent on the piece. It had been a month since spring break and Regina had turned into her old self again with her. It seemed like anything Janis did annoyed the girl. The blonde stopped texting the brunette. The only two reasons she'd _ever_ speak to Janis would be because it was necessary for their group of friends or to make a backhanded comment about her or call her a freak. The pain and confusion Janis felt was at a level she hadn’t felt in years. 

So she decided to paint. She had done it in her backyard in the grass, barefooted. Tears were constantly in her eyes as she filled balloons with black, gray, and white paint. She threw them as hard as she could hoping that the canvas would break and hurt like she did then. But it didn’t. She scooped many shades of pinks and blues with her fingers running them over the hardened canvas. At first she was rough, keeping the pinks and blue separate from each other, still hoping that the paint stained cloth would be pierced by her fingers. But it didn’t break. After about an hour her touch became gentle as she allowed the pinks and blues to mingle making beautiful hues of purple. She willed the paint to take her pain away as she came to terms with the fact that Regina hated her again. When it dried she looked at it in its’ finished state and shed her last few tears over it. She named the piece “what could have been” and entered it into an abstract exhibition in Chicago. To her absolute shock she won the entire thing out of hundreds of others.

When she had gone to therapy that month she showed Mya the painting and told her what had been happening. As that session came to a close, Mya had pointed out that it had similarities to the painting that hung on her wall. Janis remembered being shocked that it hadn’t occurred to her while she was composing it. The painting on Mya’s wall had been one of the first paintings she had ever done and it was one hundred percent about her pain over losing Regina. 

Janis closed her eyes, letting the mixed emotions flow through her. A warmer feeling came over her as she thought about how different things were now. She looked at the painting one last time as sleep began to overtake her. She might need to rename it in the future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh man we got so close to something! But alas! I like to torture myself as much as you guys. Thank you for reading! Leave a comment if you wish or let me know what you think in my asks on the Tumblr! https://why-do-i-like-you-ya-dumb-bean.tumblr.com/   
> Hope you're all staying safe!


	10. The Rule of Twos

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LONG CHAPTER ALERT! :D I really enjoyed writing this one!
> 
> If you haven't seen 'The Princess Bride' you might be a little confused by something in the chapter. I'm not telling you what though. If you've seen it you'll know immediately! Later down the line I'll be writing an explanation but also I highly recommend the movie! 
> 
> Have fun kids :)

As Regina’s mind came into consciousness she could tell that the sun was up. There must have been a curtain open for some damn reason. Why the  _ fuck _ was there a curtain open? It was probably like 9am on Sunday and Regina had just had a crazy night. She started to feel a dull throbbing in her head. She was just about to let out a long groan when her ears picked up the faintest sound of humming. It was a familiar tune and she could hear some of the lyrics in her head,  _ so what are you gonna do when the world don’t orbit around you? _ The humming led into the chorus and images of her past popped up into her head as she drifted into a light sleep.

_ Regina was rolling down a hill at a park giggling with another. A phone, owned by a girl with grey eyes, blared the song as loud as possible. They reached the bottom and Regina remembered picking herself up off the ground, dizzy from all the spinning. She almost fell over but a hand of the other girl caught her own and pulled Regina to her chest. Her green eyes met grey and she felt her heart flutter. The way the grey eyed girl smiled at her always made Regina’s heart flutter because she never saw her smile at anyone else like that. _

_ Regina was falling. Falling quickly. She tried to catch herself but before she knew it her body was hitting the ground. She felt pain in her right ankle and she thought her left knee was on fire. Tears sprung from her eyes immediately and she wailed in pain and shock. But before any tears could make it halfway down her cheeks there were hands on either side of her face, gentle thumbs swiped them away, and a kind voice accompanying those thumbs and told her it would be okay. When she found the eyes belonging to her caregiver they were the same grey ones from the hill. The grey eyed girl took her inside and patched her up. Her kindness never wavered, even when Regina snapped at her because the cleansing cloth on her knee burned. The girl just reached up and wiped more tears away and told Regina she was going to be okay. The girl sang Regina’s secretly favorite song to her as she went to find something to ice her ankle.  _ **_Ain't it fun, living in the real world?_ ** _ She and the grey eyed girl watched  _ **_10 Things I Hate About You._ ** _ As her favorite part of the movie started -Kat and Patrick at the paint balloon park- she wished she and the grey eyed girl could do that. She watched Kat and Patrick kiss in the hay and a heat went through her body. She looked up at the grey eyed girl, who she was resting against, and another wave of heat went through her. The grey eyed girl looked back at her. Regina felt her body leaning up as her eyes fixated on the other girl’s lips. As she leaned up the grey eyed girl leaned down, letting their eyes close as their lips met. _

Regina’s eyes shot open. That was  _ not _ how that memory went. Her eyes slowly came into focus as she realized she wasn’t facing the wall. Her ears picked up the humming again. It was still the same song. Had it not been so familiar she probably wouldn’t have noticed it at all. Her eyes came into focus on the figure humming. Janis sat on a stool she had stolen from the art building, one leg dangled while the other was folded onto the seat, a drawing pad resting in her lap.

Regina’s heart began racing as she took in the sight of the girl. She was still in her pajamas, a giant grey Paramore t-shirt cradling her body with men’s green plaid boxers just peeking out because of how she was sitting. Regina couldn’t stop her gaze from travelling down and up the brunette’s long legs. She noticed what looked to be a tattoo peeking out from under her boxers. Regina wondered what it was. Her gaze continued upward gliding over her neck and to her side profile. The blonde’s breath caught in her throat. There were rays of light dancing all over the brunette's face. Regina quietly gaped at the girl while random rays caught her hair revealing a faint red tint and making the girl’s grey eyes flash silver. Her gaze fell to her lips which were drawn in a small smile. The artist's eyes darted between the paper and whatever had caught her attention outside. She was in her element. It was beautiful.

Regina felt like she couldn’t breathe and the lurking wouldn’t stop. Her eyes landed on the brunette's lips again and the events of last night all flooded back to her. She had a great time at Bubba’s. She and her crew drank and danced until they couldn’t anymore. The girls brought her back here and Janis took care of her. Janis had been wearing a tank top and Regina couldn’t stop staring at her. Janis brought her water after she puked. Janis used this tone with her that sent a lighting bolt through her. She invaded Janis’s bubble when she took the water. It felt good to see Janis freeze as their faces got closer and closer. Regina started undressing in front of Janis. She did it on purpose. Drunk Regina wanted to see if she could fluster Janis like she used to. She did. She even tricked Janis into turning around. She couldn’t stop herself from staring and she kept sighing, wanting for something that she couldn’t quite figure out last night. 

As Regina stared at the girl, the scent of eucalyptus hit her nose and she quietly looked down and remembered she had asked for one of Janis’s shirts to wear. She remembered pulling the fabric to her face while Janis still had her back turned and breathed in the eucalyptus and felt a warmth in her body that she hadn’t felt in years. She remembered going to the mall at the end of seventh grade and picking out the body spray with the artist. She remembered the artist arguing with her about the scent but had convinced her when she pouted and asked her to wear it for her. She remembered loving the way Janis blushed a deep red when she asked that. She remembered loving the feeling before, when she made Janis blush the same way after she fell out of the tree and she kissed her. On the cheek that it is. Not on the _lips_ like in her dream. That’d be gay as _fuck_ if she had kissed Janis on the lips. But _not_ on the cheek. Nope _not_ gay. _Super_ not gay. It didn’t matter that the urge to kiss her cheek came right after the scene that Regina thought was the cutest date idea ever and the idea of taking Janis to the place like that sounded _amazing_. That wasn’t gay _at_ _all_. Regina was straight as an arrow.

Every girl had thoughts sometimes about other girls. Every girl  _ occasionally _ had dreams about their girl friends that could be seen as a little homo erotic. She thought back to a dream she had in sophomore year about Gretchen. She had pinned the girl to the wall and their tops had gone missing. She remembered another she had about her straddling Karen on a bed. She even had one about Cady who had walked around Regina in only her Mathletes jacket. A good number of other ones popped into her head. But it wasn’t  _ gay _ . Everyone had homo erotic dreams about their close friends on a semi regular basis. Right?

The blonde focused in on the brunette again whose tongue was out with her head tilted to the side as she looked out the window. God it was so  _ fucking _ cute. Janis was  _ so _ fucking cute. Wait no she  _ wasn’t _ . It was Janis. Janis was a girl. Janis  _ wasn’t _ cute, she was… not cute?… The scent of the shirt hit her nostrils again and a sunbeam lit up her hair and eyes all at once and Regina’s stomach dropped to the floor. Janis  _ was _ cute. Janis was  _ beautiful… _ Janis was  _ hot _ . Like really  _ really _ hot. Like made Regina want to jump out of her bed and shove Janis off that stool and onto the artist’s bed and make out with her kind of hot. 

Regina quickly sat up in bed causing Janis to jump slightly. Regina looked over at the girl who was smiling at her gently.

“How are you feeling Reg?” Janis asked quietly. Another ray of sun flashed across her face and hair and Regina thought she might pass out. 

“Um uh yeah.” She stammered. “Uh um… I have to pee. I’ll be back.” Regina grabbed her phone and leaped out of bed before Janis could say another word.

Regina made her way to the bathroom and then decided that wasn’t enough privacy. She went down to the basement of the building where the laundry room was. She whipped out her phone and touched Karen’s icon to FaceTime. She figured she might still be asleep at 9:45 but she had to try. For years Regina rudely thought Karen was just a dummy but after their junior spring fling, Regina looked at her with kinder eyes and she saw Karen’s true intelligence. Also Karen’s family finally gave into the school’s demands and got her tested. It turned out she had severe dyslexia and dyscalculia. But even with that getting sorted out, her strongest intelligence was the analysis of people and her power of insight through the rule of twos. If anyone could give an answer to these thoughts Karen could.

Karen’s sleepy face popped up on the screen. “Good morning Regina. Did you have a rough night?” Her face filled with concern.

“How’d you know?” Regina scoffed.

“You look really tired but also look like you're about to burst into tears plus you’re in someone else’s shirt.” Karen’s voice was so matter of fact. Regina couldn’t help but laugh as she felt a stray tear run down her face. “Aw Regina no. I’m sorry. What’s wrong Beebee?” 

Regina wiped it away but another that came down on the other side and soon more followed. She didn’t feel like she was going to sob or anything, she was just so nervous and overwhelmed by these feelings. She took a shaking breath. “The rule of twos. I need you to interrupt something for me.”

“Is it about you and Janis?” Karen asked. Regina gaped at the girl. How the fuck did she  _ do _ that? No wonder her new found goal, after getting help with the learning disabilities, was to get her grades up so she could go to school to be a criminal behavior analyst. She’d probably end up working for the FBI. 

“Y-yes… Okay the rule of two. I’m going to say one thing and you finish the thought for me please?” Regina couldn’t stop the shake in her voice.

“You got it dude.” Karen said, giving a thumbs up.

“The middle school incident.” Is all Regina could get out.

Karen sighed and looked at Regina worried. “Are you  _ sure _ you want me to translate that for you?” Her tone was gentle but knowing. Regina nodded her head vigorously. Karen looked away for a moment and sighed like she was about to give her bad news. “Internalized homophobia and repressed slash not yet fully realized non platonic feelings for Janis. I remember seeing your face when Korey started in about Janis being gay and you didn’t seem bothered  _ at all _ which I wasn’t surprised about. But then you caved when most of us looked at you with disgust, which made me sad. I’ve never seen you look  _ so _ scared and defeated. Then of course the next day rolled around. And then for a month after we all found out Janis left I could tell you were just a shell. Your heart and head were somewhere else.”

“Karen I…” Regina didn’t know what to say. “Has that always been your interpretation of it?” 

“Yep. But like on top of that I had already noticed everything that was between you two before. Which is why it was so heartbreaking to watch you go through with it.”

“What do you  _ mean _ ?” Regina's heart skipped a beat.

Karen sighed again. “I don’t want to overstep my bounds anymore than I have.”

“No no Karen whatever you say I’m  _ not _ going to get mad. I’m being a coward right now and I  _ need _ help. Please tell me what you saw between us.” Regina felt her body shaking as if she was cold.

“You two… If the middle incident wouldn’t have happened… You two were  _ head over heels _ for each other. Like Wesley and Princess Buttercup kind of love.”

“Who?”

“From the Princess Bride you  _ uncultured swine _ .” Karen said faking offense. “They were the main characters and madly in love. Five years apart  _ and _ a supposed death couldn’t make their love for one another fade. Ask Janis about it. It’s our favorite movie. But anyway you and Janis were like an old married couple. You two knew each other like the back of your hands. It was really cute in my opinion. Gretchen thought so too. One time we planned your wedding at the beginning of eighth grade after the four of us spent like all of August together.”

“You two did  _ what _ ?” Regina was shocked.

“You heard me." Karen said smiling. "It was  _ super _ cute too. You’re relationship with Janis never bothered me because I’m pansexual and have known since I was eight. So liking girls is no biggie to me. I can’t speak for why Gretchen was so okay with it but whenever you decide to talk to her she can give you her reasoning.”

“Wait you’re  _ not _ straight.” Regina couldn't help but gape.

“No silly. Half of the people I’ve slept with aren’t cis men. Like right now. I’m seeing this really _really_ nice non-binary person.  _ God _ they are so handsome and cute.” Karen’s face lit up. Regina smiled at her friend. “I want to apologize by the way for not speaking up in middle school and going with the other girls’ looks. I was really scared like you but I still should have tried.”

“Honey no.  _ No _ apologies. Korey was a  _ bitch _ . Thinking back I wonder if she was hoping I wouldn’t cave so she could tell everyone  _ I _ was a lesbian and take my place.” Anger flared up in Regina as she finished the sentence.

“Oh that  _ definitely _ was the reason. But then you just went along with it. Which is why she and those other girls didn’t last with us."

Regina's heart began to race as she asked, “But why did you stick around with me after what I did to Janis?”

“Well I knew why you did it and I knew that you’d need us. When you went through with it I knew Korey and the others would leave and I didn’t want you to be alone. Gretch would stick with me no matter what.” Karen's voice was so casual. Like she hadn't experienced Regina's wrath in high school.   
  


“But I was so cruel to you and Gretchen.”

“You were but I knew the reason behind that cruelty and I knew one day it would fade. I didn’t think a  _ bus _ would be the reason for the change but it was… Sorry that makes it sound like I was glad you got hit by a bus…”

“Don’t worry Kar. Sometimes I feel like I’m glad I got hit by the bus.” Regina says honestly. The girls share a laugh. Regina takes a deep breath. “So I’m not straight.” Regina states.

“Definitely  _ not _ .” Karen laughed.

“And I think I have feelings for Janis.” Regina whispered.

“ _ Duuuhhh _ . I don’t think you ever  _ stopped _ having feelings for Janis.” Karen looked the Regina gently.

“Ughhh Karen what the  _ hell _ am I going to do?” Regina's head dropped into her free hand.

“Tell Janis you  _ like _ her.” Karen wiggled her eyebrows.

“ _ What _ ?! _ No _ !" Regina head shot right back up. "I might want to jump her bones but Janis doesn’t feel that way about  _ me _ !” 

“How do you know that?” Karen asked, tilting her head to the side.

“Karen honey, come  _ on _ ." Regina huffed. "I wrecked this girl’s life. She could  _ never _ trust me enough to feel what I feel.” 

“But she used to feel that way for you.”

“You don’t exactly know that.”

“Regina you know I can read anyone. The way you  _ both _ looked at each other back then. It was unmistakable.” Karen’s face was graced with the gentlest of smiles. “There was this smile she gave you that I only ever saw her give to  _ you _ . No one else had that privilege.  _ You _ gave her a special smile too.”

“Did I ever give Aaron that smile?” Regina asked.

Karen paused. “No. I think you liked him. You might have even loved him but what you felt for Janis then and maybe even what you feel for her now is more than what you ever felt for him in my opinion. Do you agree or disagree?”

Regina thought about it for a minute. She really cared for Aaron when they were first together but as she thought about how Janis made her heart race and brain fritz out back then and now there was a stark contrast. She thought about Shane too which was just a sex thing and there was  _ nothing _ . Making out with that frat dude,  _ ugh _ . She thought about sex with both boys and realized it felt like nothing. She thought about the night Janis stopped her from leaving the room and grabbed hold of her. She thought about when she turned around and felt Janis’s arms around her waist. She thought about Janis carrying her to their room. Damn that was  _ something  _ else. Her body felt more from that than anything she  _ ever _ did with the boys. She thought about some of those girl dreams she had and realized  _ they _ were more pleasurable than what happened with the boys. Aaron was sweet and made her feel loved but she thought about the day she fell out of the tree at Janis’s house and when Janis held her close after her night terror and there was  _ no _ comparison. 

“You’re right Kar. Janis makes me feel like the world is crashing around me but not in a bad way.” 

“So what are you going to do?”

“I’m going to tell her I’m… gay… Karen I’m gay.” Regina said before she started to cry. “I’m gay Karen. I like girls.” She wasn’t sad, she was just _ relieved _ . It was like everything fell into place. The dreams, the lurching, the occasional  _ ravenous _ urge to kiss Gretchen, Karen, Cady, and of course Janis. Oh wow. She really didn’t think about that last part actively, but  _ wow _ that happened more than she wished to admit right now. “Yeah Karen I’m definitely gay.” She smiled at Karen lovingly. She was  _ so _ lucky to have her as a friend.

“I’m so proud of you Beebee. Welcome to the club.” Karen said, smiling widely. “Also I’m popping your Pride cherry in June. We’re going to Chicago!” 

Regina laughed as the tears stopped flowing. She let out a sigh. “Sounds like a plan. I’m gonna let you go. Thank you so much for listening and being honest and helping me sort things out.”

“So you’re  _ just _ going to tell her you’re gay?” Karen asked almost in a disappointed tone.

“Yep.” 

“Alright." Karen sighed. "But think about telling her the other thing.”   
  


“She  _ doesn’t _ feel that way about me Kar. I don’t blame her either. Being friends is fine. I’m not sure I deserve-”

“Don’t finish that sentence Regina." Karen’s face shifted to something very serious which was rare. "You  _ deserve _ to be happy with  _ whoever _ you want. So long as they’re a consenting party. And if Janis is a consenting party I say go for it. I think you two would make  _ such _ a cute couple! You did before and you guys weren’t even together. I can only imagine how cute you guys would be if you  _ actually _ were together. Ah I would just explode from happiness!” Karen looked so excited.

Regina smiled gently at her. “I don’t think it will happen but I’ll  _ try _ and keep an open mind. Also next time we talk I want you to tell me about your gi-bo-person okay?”

“Ah yes! Their name is Axel by the way! I’ll send you some pictures of them.” Karen's smile had never been so big.

“Good! Alright I’ll talk to you soon. Love you Honey.” Regina said, blowing her a kiss. Karen caught it and placed it on her cheek. Karen blew one back and Regina copied her.

“Bye Beebee love you too.” Karen said before ending the call. 

Regina let out a long sigh. Her heart was racing. When was she going to tell Janis?  _ Now _ ? No  _ no _ she needed to wait a bit to tell her…  _ Nah _ fuck it she was going to go  _ crazy _ if she didn’t do it now. Regina sprinted up the stairs as fast as she could. She was going to tell her. She was going to tell her she was gay.  _ Regina George _ was gay. She stopped at their door and took a deep breath. She opened it quietly, not wanting to scare Janis and cause her to mess up her drawing. When her eyes found the brunette she was sitting on her bed looking nervous. Before Regina could speak Janis started to ramble.

“Regina I’m not sure how much you remember from last night but I promise, I  _ swear _ on my own life, that you asked for the shirt and put it on yourself. I didn’t  _ see _ anything.” Janis’s face was beet red. “I kept my back turned until you were dressed. I just helped you out when you were puking. Reg I  _ promise _ I wasn’t being-”

“Janis.” Regina said firmly. The brunette stopped, looking at the blonde, laying in wait. “I remember everything from last night, don't worry. Thank you for taking care of me and I’m sorry I was such a pain.”

“You weren’t a pain at all. Sorry for rambling. You looked really worried when you left and then you were gone-wait were you crying? Reg are you okay?” Janis rose from her bed but Regina shook her head and motioned for her to sit down. The brunette complied, still looking worried. Regina’s heart was about to jump out of her chest as she sat on the edge of the bed. All she had to do was tell Janis she was gay. That’s all. No need to mention the other part about her having feelings for her because there’s no _ possible _ way that Janis felt that way about her. Regina had caused this girl too much pain. She could never lov-like her back. 

Regina took a deep breath. “Janis I have to tell you something. I had a realization this morning which is why I was gone for so long. It  _ scared _ me at first but now I’m okay.” Regina stared at her hands out of fear that if she looked at Janis she’d spill everything.

“What kind of realization?” Janis’s tone was calm and warm. 

“Um uh. Well I realized that I’m um…” Regina’s mouth was going dry. “That I like… like I  _definitely_ do and I should have realized sooner and I feel so  _ dumb _ that I didn’t know. And I feel like shit about it too like I don’t deserve to feel this way.” Regina felt tears running down her cheek. She saw Janis’s hand on top of her’s and a rush of warmth went through her. Regina looked directly at the other girl. “Janis I’m gay.”

She watched, waiting for Janis’s face to morph into anger. She waited for Janis to move her hand away and storm out, to hear the word  _ hypocrite _ fly from her lips. But to Regina’s shock she felt Janis’s hand slightly tighten around her’s. A smile spread over her face and the last bit of worry disappeared from her eyes. “Reg I’m  _ so _ proud of you. Thank you for telling me.” Her voice was so gentle it made Regina want to kiss her right then and there.

“You’re not mad?” Regina asked. Janis shook her head about to speak but words started pouring out of the blonde. “If you’re mad at me it’s okay Jan. I  _ know _ I’m a hypocrite. I was so  _ cruel _ to you for so long and now here I am having some gaywakening years later like an  _ asshole _ . I’m sorry Ja-” 

“Stop.” Janis said firmly while taking her hand away from Regina’s and holding it up. Regina stopped and looked away. She couldn’t handle seeing whatever look of disgust she was probably getting from the artist. But unfortunately for her and her stomach lurking Janis wasn’t going to let her stay that way. She felt the brunette’s hand on her shoulders as she turned the blonde to face her. Regina kept her eyes on the floor. “Regina, look at me right  _ now _ .” Janis’s voice was firm but gentle. Green eyes found grey and Regina had to dig her nails into her thighs to keep from launching herself at Janis and kissing her until the world started to snip. “I’m  _ not  _ mad. I could never be mad about someone coming out to me. Even if they were like the complete opposite in the past. Sexuality can be complicated and scary. You are  _ valid _ and it’s absolutely okay that it took a while to figure out. That’s just how it works for some people. Plus you are not the first gay person to have a past of being homophobic. It’s okay. I’m not mad. I’m the opposite. Reg I’m so happy for you. I’m  _ proud _ of you for starting the process of accepting yourself.” 

All Regina wanted to do was grab Janis's face and kiss her. To show her how thankful she was for her and how  _ lucky _ she was to have her acceptance. But instead Regina let out a sigh of relief and dug her nails further into her leg. Janis wouldn’t want her. Janis probably wanted some hot artsy chick with tattoos and crazy colored hair she could talk canvas composition with. Not some  _ girly _ girl with an attitude. She looked closer at Janis who had a slightly nervous but inquisitive look on her face. Regina cocked an eyebrow at her to signal for her to ask whatever was on her mind.

“Sooo, who- _ I mean _ what triggered this gaywakening? See a super cute girl at Bubba’s last night?” Janis started looking around the room for whatever reason. She seemed nervous all of a sudden.

Regina nearly choked on the air in her lungs. She wasn’t expecting her to ask  _ that _ question. What the  _ fuck  _ could she say? She couldn’t tell her the truth. “Uhhh. Well yes as a matter a fact it was a girl from last night.” Regina said, keeping it as vague as possible but still true.

“Reg that’s awesome!” Janis smiled warmly at her. “Did you talk to her?”

“Well yeah I talk to her on a daily basis.” Regina said before she could stop the words.  _ Fuck fuck fuck _ . What the  _ fuck _ was she going to say. She watched Janis eyes go wide.

“On a daily basis?” Janis inquired softly. Her tone almost came across as hopeful. But that wouldn’t make sense. There was  _ no way _ that would make sense. 

Regina’s words were caught in her throat. She could just tell her and accept the rejection  _ right now _ . Rip it off like a band-aid…  _ Or _ she could lie maybe? “It’s Syd.” Regina blurted out. Okay _ lie  _ it is then. But maybe the  _ best _ possible lie. Then there was silence. She watched the brunette process the name. Regina watched a few emotions flash across her face. She could have sworn one of them was disappointment but it was too fast and wouldn’t make sense. Regina started to speak. “I know she has a boyfriend and I obviously wouldn’t try anything but it just kind of hit me this morning when I woke up. I was gone for so long because I FaceTimed Karen to get her rule of twos thoughts on it and it all made sense. And then of course I thought back on my past and things started to add up. And here I am now, crushing on an unavailable girl. I’ll get over it though. It’s probably my penance for being a shithead before.” 

“Yeah probably.” Janis chuckled. Regina watched Janis’s face as she caught a glimpse of sadness before she plastered a huge smile on her face. “Welcome to the club Reg. Unrequited attraction can be common in our tribe but you’ll move past it. And soon a nice available girl will come along and you can her snatch up.” Janis’s smile faded just a smidge. Regina’s chest tightened watching the other girl’s face change to something unreadable. She must have been reflecting on times that had happened to her. “Well…” Janis said standing up from her bed. “I have to get ready to go to the clay lab. Aaron’s going to start teaching me how to throw clay on a wheel.” 

“On a Sunday?” Regina questioned feeling confused and a little disappointed. She was about to ask Janis if she wanted to go to breakfast.

“Yeah. His wife and kids are out of town so he figured it would be a good day to teach me with no time constraints. With double majoring I won't actually be able to take clay until second semester sophomore year. He wants to give me a head start, so when I actually take it I can just do what I want while he teaches the people that are just there for their Arts Core.” Janis said. Regina looked up at her, her face had gone to something the blonde couldn’t figure out. She tensed when Janis put a hand on her shoulder. “I’m so proud of you Reg. I’ll see you later, okay?” The brunette's voice was so warm it made Regina think she was going to melt into the floor. All she could do was nod. 

She went to her own bed and turned away when she saw the girl going to her closet and waited for the sounds of feet heading towards the door. She needed to say something to Janis. Something felt off. “Hey Jan, wait a sec.”

The brunette halted her steps and turned to the blonde. Her face was still unreadable. “What’s up Reg?”

Regina rose from the bed. She was going to tell her. Who  _ cares _ if it was awkward. She couldn’t hold it in  _ any _ longer. All she had to do was speak. “Could you on your way back-whenever that is, no rush-snag me an iced coffee from The Bean? I can tell I’m gonna be hungover all day and I know some caffeine will help me out later today. I’ll bring you some cold brew to religion tomorrow in exchange.”  _ Hm? _ That didn’t sound like, ‘Janis I have feelings for you and would like you to push me against this wall right here and kiss me or vise versa please.’ 

Janis smiled at Regina softly. Her eyes almost looked like they were glassing over. Was she about to cry? Right as the blonde was about to speak the brunette found her voice first. “As you wish.” She said quietly and nodded, quickly turning away and walked out the door.

  
As the door shut Regina felt weak in the knees. ‘As you wish?’ What was _ that _ supposed to mean? But there was something about the way Janis said it that made Regina dizzy. Stupid gay  _ feelings _ . She also hoped that it meant ‘yes’ because she really would need some coffee come mid afternoon. The blonde let out a long sigh as she went back to her bed. She flopped face down onto it and screamed in frustration.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Leave a comment if you wish! 
> 
> There probably won't be an update until close to Thursday or Friday. I'm helping a student of mine study for her comprehensive exams for the next few days. It's her final step to getting her Bachelor's and I'm so proud of her I could cry. 
> 
> But anyway, as always stay safe!


	11. Coffee and Oreos

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you're all staying safe. Enjoy! Doing a bit of a rewind in this chapter at the beginning.

“It’s Syd.” 

Janis felt like she got punched in the gut. The tightness in her chest that had been building since Regina left the room got worse as she fought to keep her face as calm as possible. ‘It’s Syd.’ played on loop in her mind. 

The blonde spoke again. “I know she has a boyfriend and I obviously wouldn’t try anything but it just kind of hit me this morning when I woke up. I was gone for so long because I FaceTimed Karen to get her rule of twos thoughts on it and it all made sense. And then of course I thought back on my past and things started to add up. And here I am now, crushing on an unavailable girl. I’ll get over it though. It’s probably my penance for being a shithead before.” 

“Yeah probably.” Janis chuckled. Keep it _together_ . She forced a face aching smile on somehow. “Welcome to the club Reg. Unrequited attraction can be common in our tribe but you’ll move past it. And soon a nice available girl will come along and you can her snatch up.” She felt her smile starting to fade but miraculously summoned it upward. ‘It’s Syd’ still looped in her head. “Well…” Janis got up from her bed. She had to _get out_ of there. She felt a lump forming in her throat. She _had_ to make up something to get her out of the room. “I have to get ready to go to the clay lab. Aaron’s going to start teaching me how to throw clay on a wheel.” 

“On a Sunday?” Regina questioned. 

“Yeah. His wife and kids are out of town so he figured it would be a good day to teach me with no time constraints. With double majoring I won't actually be able to take clay until second semester sophomore year. He wants to give me a head start. He wants to give me a head start, so when I actually take it I can just do what I want while he teaches the people that are just there for their Arts Core.” Janis was shocked by her own quick thinking and the fact that her face stayed like stone. She paused for a moment, looking down at the girl who still sat on her bed. The temptation to drop to her knees and kiss her was overwhelming. She _could_ just tell her how she felt and face the consequences. She’d probably lose her again and have to move out. But _maybe_ it would be worth it just to get the tightening in her chest to go away. She placed a hand on the blonde’s shoulder. “I’m so proud of you Reg. I’ll see you later, okay?” Janis said in a warm tone, because it was true. She was so proud of Regina. So much for telling her about the feelings.

She waited for a confirmation that the blonde processed her words before making her way over to her closet. She grabbed one of her softest t-shirts and put it on followed by joggers and a pair of chucks. ‘It’s Syd’ continued to circle in her mind as she felt almost frozen to the ground. She thought about saying bye to Regina but didn’t think she could keep her from shaking or cracking, so she just started for the door.

“Hey Jan wait a sec.” She heard behind her. Janis froze. She wished she would have acted like she had heard her. She _needed_ to get out of there.

She turned, keeping her face stoic. She couldn’t let her see. She prayed to whatever that her voice wouldn’t shake. “What’s up Reg?”

Regina rose from the bed, her face rather serious. Could she have _already_ figured out why Janis was acting this way. Janis braced for impact. “Could you on your way back-whenever that is, no rush-snag me an iced coffee from The Bean? I can tell I’m gonna be hungover all day and I know some caffeine will help me out later today. I’ll bring you some cold brew to religion tomorrow in exchange.”

Janis smiled at Regina softly, relieved. But she felt the lump growing bigger and felt the first signs of crying starting to form. She had to get out of there. _Now_. “As you wish.” She said quietly and nodded. She quickly turned away from the blonde and allowed the first few tears to spring from her eyes as she walked out the door.

As soon as the door clicked shut Janis let her facade down as she sped walked down the hallway. Tears began streaming down her face. _Stupid_ . Stupid _idiot_ . Stupid _fucking_ idiot. She _knew_ she had been imagining things. Regina wouldn’t _ever_ return her feelings. She was _kidding_ herself to think someone as beautiful as _Regina George_ would feel that way about her. It was _pathetic_ how quickly she let herself think that she was talking about _her_ for that split second. 

As soon as her feet hit the sidewalk she went into a full sprint. She had to get _away_ from Phillips. _Away_ from Regina. She needed to clear her mind. She _needed_ to be alone. Her feet instinctively started carrying her to the Art Building. If she was going to make up the lie about Aaron she might as well go to his building so she could have some peace and quiet to wallow in her stupid self pity. Goddamn _fucking_ idiot. Regina was too beautiful for her. Too cool. Too rich. Too _everything_ for her. _Of course_ it was Syd. How fucking _imbasilic_ could Janis be? Syd was one of the _coolest_ people she had ever met. She was beautiful and smart _and_ funny. No wonder it was Syd. Honestly if her feelings weren’t _so_ strong for Regina she’d probably have a crush on her too. Jealousy began to flow through Janis as she thought about Syd. Why did it have to be _her_? The coolest, most well put together, mature, funny, hot, intelligent, person in their group, outside of Regina, had to be the one the blonde liked. Fuck _fuck_ _FUCK_!

As the Art Building came into view Janis kept her sprinting pace until she reached the main door. She yanked on it but it didn’t budge. “FUCK!” Janis yelled, before releasing what she was doing. The girl put a hand over her mouth as she fell against the locked door. Before she could stop herself her legs gave out and she started sliding down to the ground. When her butt reached the cement she pulled her legs into herself and started to sob.

Stupid _stupid_ idiot! Where did she get off thinking _she’d_ be that ah ha moment for Regina? Just because she was her’s it didn’t mean it would be vice versa… Stupid fucking _Syd_ being so cool and perfect. She _hated_ her-wait _woah_ wait- No she didn’t. Syd was a really amazing person. She was always super nice to Janis and was definitely her favorite person from The Phil Crew outside of Regina. Syd didn’t do anything wrong. Nothing was going to come of it. Syd was in a relationship and very happy. Nothing could come of the crush but also it didn’t matter what Janis thought about it because it wasn’t her place. Regina was her own person and had her own feelings. As much as Janis wanted Regina to lov-like her back, there wasn’t anything she could really do. For her to try and change her feelings would be wrong. Her conversations with Nielsen about jealousy and everyone having autonomy over their own feelings rang through her head. No matter _how much_ she wanted Regina to like her back and not like Syd she couldn’t control that. 

Stupid fucking _feelings_ . Janis took a few long breaths in and out. She let herself feel all the negative emotions at once and she began to sob harder. Stupid. Stupid feelings. Stupid _fucking_ feelings. She _hated_ these feelings! But they were hers and hers alone. She slowly let the words of Mya and Nielsen creep into her mind. These feelings were okay. These feelings were normal. These feelings were valid. Everyone had or would feel that way at some point in their lives. The important thing was to not allow these feelings to cause her to treat Regina or Syd or anyone else Regina liked any differently. She repeated those thoughts in her head several more times as she felt her negative emotions culminating in her chest. She just wished she could make her feelings _go away_ . They _hurt_ so bad.

“AHHHHHHH.” Janis let the yell rip out through her lungs. She didn’t care if anyone heard, they’d _never_ be able to tell where it was coming from. The way the buildings were set up on main campus, the sound bounced all over the place. If someone yelled a name it would take a few looks in different directions to pinpoint where the person was most of the time. Plus Janis noticed that sometimes people just liked to yell on campus. She heard random ones at least twice a day. 

“Hey buddy. Are you good?” A voice came from her left. Janis jumped and looked over to see Ashley, the other art professor, standing down on the other side of the building by the clay lab. Her head was tilted and had a gentle worried look on her face.

Janis pulled her shirt over her face to wipe the tears and snot away. “Y-yeah. I-I’m fine. Just out for a morning walk and decided to take a little break.” 

“You want to come into the clay lab for the rest of your break? We have coffee and oreos.” Ashley said kindly. She was a thin girl with raven hair that was shaved on the sides and square glasses. She looked really young but was apparently in her mid twenties. She was used to seeing her in professor attire but today she was in a self made tank top and leggings. 

“Okay. S-sure.” Janis said shakily. She slowly got up and made her way along the side of the building. As she approached the door, something Ashley said confused her. We?

As Janis entered she understood why it was we. “Hi Sunshine.” Nielsen said in a soft tone, looking at the brunette with pity. She was at a pottery wheel in a t-shirt and gym shorts, covered in clay. “What was all the yelling about Bub? You know that you can only use the emergency lesbian honing beacon once a month. Do I need to light someone on fire?”

Janis gave her the most put together smile she could muster and laughed at the ginger. “No. Just me being a _stupid idiot_ and thinking my crush was flirting with me but was _not_ because they actually have feelings one of our mutual friends.” Janis couldn’t stop her voice from shaking more and more until she was crying by the end of the sentence. Just as Janis was about to let out another sob Nielsen wrapped her in a tight hug. Janis crumbled into it shaking and letting tears flow down her cheeks. 

“Oh Bubbi I’m so sorry. It’s a super shitty feeling to experience.” As Nielsen rubbed her back she felt something behind her knees. Several minutes had passed before Janis calmed down enough to be let go. When they released each other from the hug, Nielsen put a hand on Janis's shoulder and lightly pushed her. Her butt quickly hit a comfy chair. She felt a new smaller hand on her shoulder giving a gentle squeeze. 

She looked up and Ashley was giving her an apathetic look. “I’m sorry about that Buddy. Me and Nielsen know how you feel. But we got you. How do you like your coffee and how many oreos would you like?”   
  


“Black please and how many do you have?” Janis said weakly as Ashley disappeared into another part of the building. All the crying and sobbing had taken it out of her. She slumped back in the chair. She was so _weak_ . It was _ridiculous_ to be crying like this.

“Hey!” Nielsen’s stern tone cut through Janis’s thought. The younger girl looked over at the other who was back at the pottery wheel throwing a ball of clay onto it. The ginger’s gaze found the brunette’s and narrowed her eyes giving her a pointed look. “Whatever negative shit you’re calling yourself in your head right now _cut that out_. You’re entitled to your feelings.”

“Yeah I _know_ I’m entitled to them. I’m still _weak_ though.” Janis mumbled the second sentence as Ashley came back into the room. The brunette perked slightly as the idea of coffee and oreos for breakfast. 

“Ash, bring me the oreos. She’s being mean to herself and we _don’t_ reward hating on ourselves in this house.” Janis watched in horror as Ashley turned on a dime while quirking an eyebrow at Janis. As the raven haired girl got closer to the ginger, the ladder opened and closed her mouth, staring at the oreos. Ashley giggled and popped one in Nielsen’s mouth while calling her a ‘Heathen’ before placing them on the stool next to her. 

She then brought Janis’s coffee to her, who was pouting at the older girls. “Nielsen that’s so fucking _mean_ . I’m a sad _angsty_ teenager. I need oreos to _heal_ me.”

“I don’t reward _negative_ self talk. When you stop being a dick to yourself about this you can have _all_ the oreos you want.” Nielsen said starting the wheel.

“I’m not being _mean_ to myself, I’m being _truthful_ about myself.” Janis resorted before taking a sip of her coffee.

“If I told you I went through that _same_ situation and reacted the _same_ way as you several times while I was in college, would you call _me_ weak?” Nielsen asked, willing the ball of clay to the center of the wheel.

“No you’re _Nielsen_ I’d never say something so mean.” Janis replied.

“But they’re the same feelings. Plus I’ve let it happen _several_ times. Hell, one of those times was in grad school when I was _twenty four_ . I _should_ have been stronger by then.” Nielsen’s last sentence had a sarcastic edge to it.

“No you-”

“Don’t hold me to a different standard just because I’m your friend Janis. If anything you should hold me to the same standard or even a _higher_ standard since I’m an older more experienced adult.” Nielsen said all of this while beginning to make a bowl of some sort. There was a ghost of the smirk on her lips though her tone remained serious. 

“I… I…” Janis couldn’t think of a retort quickly enough.

“And what’s going to happen if that mutual friend of yours _doesn’t_ feel the same way as your crush? Are you going to call _her_ weak too if she gets upset if those feelings _aren’t_ reciprocated?” The smirk on Nielsen’s face revealed itself as she quirked an eyebrow at the younger girl.

Janis stood up from the chair, a spark of anger running through her. “Of course not! She can’t help how she _feels_ ! Plus she’s one of my _best_ friends! I would _never_ be that mean to her! I care _too much_ about her to do that!” Janis yelled.

“ _Ohhh_ okay. I get it.” Nielsen said sarcastically. “Everyone _but_ yourself deserves respect, kindness, forgiveness, and understanding from you.”

“I respect myself!” Janis retorted.

In an almost annoyingly nonchalant tone Nielsen spoke. “Not enough if _you_ having feelings for someone makes you _weak_ , but if I turn it on _anyone else_ they’re not weak and you get salty as _hell_ . To give respect, you have to treat everyone the same, _including_ yourself.”

Janis opened her mouth to say something snarky but stopped. What _could_ she say? The redhead was right. Instead she slid back in the chair and turned away from Nielsen. She wasn’t ready to admit to the ginger that she was right. She heard Nielsen whisper for Ashley to come over to her. A few moments later the package of oreos was being put in her lap. The brunette looked over to the pottery wheel and found Nielsen removing a crumpled piece of clay from the wheel. 

“Your bowl.” Janis said sadly.

Nielsen looked over at her. “Yeah it happens. But there will always be more clay and more time. Sometimes you can save it and sometimes you can’t. I still consider myself a novice.”

“She’s being modest.” Ashley piped in. “Most of her stuff ends up in the kiln now. At the beginning though, _oh man_ it was not pretty.” 

“Okay _fine_. I’m proficient at this. Good enough?” Nielsen questioned sassily to Ashley. 

“Yes thank you.” The raven haired girl said sticking out her tongue. 

Nielsen moved her gaze back to Janis. “Clay can be a pretty good metaphor for social interaction. Everything can be going fine. It looks immaculate and then boom, there’s a tear and the whole thing falls apart. Or sometimes, you know the thing’s off from the start and you try to still make it into something pretty. Sometimes it works out and you have a dope mug. And sometimes you end up covered in clay with no bowl, cup, or vase to be found. But I like to think that for the most part that it starts out good and centered and it turns into something cool. And sometimes things can go to shit but can be fixed and still made into something neat. It just takes time, patiences, and thought.”

“ _Geez_ Mr. Rogers I think you forgot your sweater at home.” Janis said sarcastically, but took what Nielsen to heart, smiling at the ginger. She understood what she meant. She looked down into her coffee. “Nielsen I haven’t told you the whole story of me and my crush, have I?” Janis asked. 

“ _Oooooo_ no you haven’t but I’d love to hear! I’m a _slut_ for gay crush origin stories.” Nielsen said excitedly. She looked over at Ashley and then to Janis. “Are you comfortable with Ash hearing?” 

Janis paused. She had to be careful not to use Regina’s name. Part of her felt a little guilty because she was essentially going out Regina to Nielsen. But she had already discussed the idea of her being gay and she would make sure to tell her not to tell anyone. She needed to tell someone all of this or she was going to burst. The idea of telling Nielsen the tale of herself and Regina and getting her perspective calmed her. Maybe telling someone everything would quell her sadness.

“I can go Buddy it’s okay.” Ashley said.

“No no it’s okay. You’re going to be one of my main professors for the next four years. You might as well hear this too. But just for my crush’s sake I’m not going to use her name.” Janis said to Ashley who nodded and grabbed a chair. Janis turned her gaze to Nielsen and pointed at her. “You cannot tell _anyone_ what I tell you. You know who I’m talking about and I’m going to be telling you _sensitive_ information.”

Nielsen, who had already started something new on the wheel, paused what she was doing and crossed her heart. “Jan, your secrets are safe with me. Remember I wrangle almost forty sorority girls, most of the women's basketball team, _and_ the softball team’s drama and gossip and keep _all_ of it to myself. If I had a dollar for everytime someone came to me with the ‘freshest hottest tea’ that no one knew about, that I in fact _already_ knew about, I could pay off my students loans _and_ buy a tiny house. I have an excellent poker face and surprised face. If I ever meet this girl I’ll act like I know _nothing_. But also there’s laws that keep me from saying anything. Not that I need that law to keep my mouth shut. It’s just the right thing to do.”

Janis let out a long sigh of relief. “Okay ladies _buckle up_ for the bumpy ride.” Janis said rubbing her hands together. The other girls chuckled warmly, turning their attention to their younger counterpart. “So it all started in preschool when this cute girl with blonde hair and the greenest eyes I had _ever_ seen in my three years of life, told me I looked weird sitting in the corner by myself and wouldn’t make any friends. God she said it in the _sassiest_ way possible. I told her, also in a sassy tone, that I was shy and didn’t want to make any friends, _especially_ if they were going to call me weird. She looked shocked like she had _never_ had someone return her sass. Next thing I knew she was sitting next to me asking me what my name was and what I liked to play with and what my favorite snack was.”

**********************************

Two hours later Janis finished her story with, “Then I said ‘As you wish.’ like a _weirdo_ before high tailing it out of there. And now I’m here. Thank you for coming to my super gay TedTalk.”

The older girls had asked questions here and there. They also interjected a few times with their own experiences of something similar. Both the older girls had been in the exact place she was. It brought her some peace knowing she wasn’t alone in her feelings. Nielsen had long since abandoned her clay wheel to sit more comfortably. She also watched Nielsen and Ashley’s faces to try and gage what they thought of all of it. As Janis dove into the story picking up at Bethany Nielsen’s face had moved between a smirk and a blank face, nodding along with Janis’s words. In the current moment, Nielsen was smirking at Ashley who was smirking back at her. “What?” Janis questioned, tilting her head and giving them a suspicious look. 

The two still smirked at each other as Nielsen spoke to Ashley. “The uselessness reminds me of S and L. Am I wrong?”  
  


“I was thinking the _same_ thing.” Ashley chuckled.

“What? Who?” Janis questioned.

“Two of our girls.” Nielsen said simply, finally looking at the brunette.

“ _Our_ girls?” Janis asked, still confused.

“Ash advises the same sorority as me. We were sisters in undergrad. Ash, _don’t_ tell her which one we are.” Nielsen said wagging her finger at Ashley who nodded.

“No no, Ashley tell me _please_ . I’m probably not going to do that so what does it matter? _Please_ Ashley. I just told you guys like an _entire_ life story. Can’t I know this _one_ little thing?”

The older girls looked at each other for a moment before looking back at Janis. “No.” They said together. Janis threw herself back on the chair and whined. The girls laugh goodnaturedly at her.

“Sorry dude. We have to be far to _everyone_. Like I told you before, go to some events. You’ll be able to figure it out.” Nielsen said. The brunette rolled her eyes at the redhead.

Janis yawned and stretched her arms above her head. “Damn I’m fucking _tired_.” She said, as her stomach growled. 

“Sounds like you’re hungry too.” Ashley giggled.

“Hey why don’t you go get some food. We’ll still be here if you need us. Ash and I are going to be throwing bowls for a local women’s shelter until nine tonight.” Nielsen said making her way back to her wheel.

Janis stood up from the chair and stretched her whole body. “I’ll go get some noms but I think I’m ready to go back to my room. Thanks for listening you guys. I feel a lot better. I’m still not excited about all the feelings but think I’ll be functional.” 

“Janis before you go, come over here. If you told this girl you went to the clay lab and came back clean as a whistle she _might_ be suspicious.” Nielsen dunked her hand in her muddy scrap bucket.

“Nielsen it’ll be fine. She doesn’t know _anything_ about clay.” Janis said.

“But didn’t you say you’re _always_ covered in paint. Why would it be any different for clay?” Nielsen waved the girl closer with her muddy hand. “At least let me put _a little_ on your face. It could always create a cute moment for you two. ‘Oh _Janis_ you have mud on your face.’ and she’ll reach up and wipe it away.” Nielsen said excitedly, throwing a hand in the air dramatically. Damn sometimes she swore Nielsen was Damian’s look lost sister.

“She _wouldn’t_ do that.” Janis scoffed, but she could feel blush coming to her cheeks at the thought. 

“Just come here. You said she made comments about you being covered in paint yesterday. I think she’ll be suspicious.” Nielsen said. Janis rolled her eyes but walked over to the ginger. Nielsen put a few smears on her face and a couple on her arm, before she flicked a little bit on her pants.

“Nielsen!” Janis gasped. “Is that gonna come out?”

“Yeah don’t worry they’re black.” Nielsen replied. She looked at her work and smiled. “There we go! Now we look like we learned some clay throwing techniques.” 

Janis rolled her eyes as she started walking away. The girls said their goodbyes and Janis made her way to The Bean. She grabbed a sandwich, two bags of chips, and Regina’s iced coffee. When she reached her room she took a deep breath. Everything was going to be okay. The feelings _sucked_ but they couldn’t be helped and they _didn’t_ make her weak.

Janis opened the door more quietly than normal just in case Regina was napping. But as she came into the room she found the girl laying atop her off white comforter with a book in her hands. As Janis looked closer she realized it was one of her’s. Regina looked up at the brunette and smiled. 

“Hey Jan. I meant to ask you if I could read this but I figured your hands would be covered in clay. I hope it's okay? I feel like I have a lot of checking up to do.” The blonde said blushing slightly.

“Yeah that’s fine. You’re welcome to any of the books on the shelf.” Janis replied, bringing the girl her coffee. 

“Thanks Jan!” Regina excitedly exclaimed as she sat up, taking a long drink. Janis held out one of her two bags of chips to the girl. Cheddar and sour cream ruffles, the blonde’s favorite. “Jan you remembered my fav chips! Thank you!” Regina snagged the bag and immediately began devouring the snack sized bag.

“ _Fun Home_ is a good place to start.” Janis said pointing to the book that was now in Regina’s lap. “Alison Bechdel has a lot of literature in that format. I’ve read all of her comic strip anthologies called _Dykes to Watch Out For_ that I could get my hands on but I hadn’t been able to get a hold of that one and her other book _Are You My Mother?_ until recently.”

“Yeah I saw that one on the shelf too. I really like this one. Have you finished it yet?” Regina asked with a mouth full of chips.

“Nah I’m only about halfway through it.” Janis said as she plopped herself onto her bed.

“Oh shit I’m sorry Jan.” Regina said getting up from the bed. “I didn’t see a bookmark or anything. I must have lost your place.” Regina was walking over to the brunette extending the book.

“Reg don’t _worry_ I don’t use bookmarks.” Janis said, holding up her hands to the ever closer encroaching blonde. “I keep a note in my phone with all my books and what pages I’m on. I hop from book to book so much that there’s never enough bookmarks for me. Keep reading the book Reg you’re fine.” Janis smiled at Regina in an attempt to get the apologetic look on her face to leave.

Regina reluctantly dropped her arm but stayed by her other girl’s bedside looking at her. A gentle smile graced the blonde's face. Before Janis could question her she spoke. “How is it that you _always_ end up covered in stuff?” She laughed softly.

“Art is _messy_ Reg I can’t help it.” Janis laughed back though her heart rate picked up. 

Regina rolled her eyes and walked over to her closet pulling out a packet of something. On the way back to Janis she placed the book on her desk and opened the packet pulling out some wipes. “Jan wipe your face. Someone might mistake you for baby Simba if you leave the room.” Regina said teasingly, tossing a few wipes at the brunette.

Janis rolled her eyes and grumbled but proceeded to wipe her face. “Whatever mom.” She said sticking her tongue out. The blonde returned the gesture watching Janis. Once the brunette finished wiping her face she tossed the cloth into her trashcan. To her utter surprise she came face to face with Regina, who was dropping to the floor and rolling her eyes at Janis. She had a fresh cloth in hand.

“Janis Naomi, when _will_ you learn to wipe your face properly? This has been a problem since we were _three_.” Regina's voice came out warm and nostalgic, as she swiped the cloth over Janis’s left cheek.

“Regina Blaire, I can do this _myself_ .” Janis said, feeling blush rush across her face. Regina wasn't wrong in her statement though. Janis was _notorious_ for always missing some kind of smear on her face even after wiping it off. Assisting Janis had been Regina's response since preschool. Janis attempted to take the cloth from Regina, but the blonde pulled it out of reach and smirked. 

"Stop fussing and let me help. Don't make me employ old tactics." Regina said sternly. Janis went to retort but stopped when she remembered the old tactics. Those old tactics involved either Regina pinning her to the closest surface or tickling her until she couldn't breathe. The horny part of her brain told her to keep fusing. The idea of Regina pinning her to what would most likely be the bed sounded _amazing_ . But the 'logical' part of her brain reminded her that Janis was _not_ the object of the blonde's affection, so thought better of it. Janis's blush grew deeper as she dropped her hands and turned her cheek closer to Regina. "That's what I thought." Regina said triumphantly, wiping at the brunette's cheek. 

Janis willed her grey eyes to stay on Regina's green orbs and not her lips. Janis didn't trust herself to stay in control and not pull the blonde to her and kiss the girl senseless. Janis was struggling to figure out the look Regina was giving her. She could tell her green eyes counterpart was smirking at her but there was something else. Before she could think about it further Regina had finished getting the stubborn mud off her cheek.

"There. Was that _so_ hard?" Regina asked in a satisfied tone. Before she got up and tossed the wipe away, she booped Janis's nose and stuck out her tongue, giggling. Janis watched Regina grab the book off her desk and lay back down on her bed. The blonde looked over at the brunette, meeting her eyes and quirked an eyebrow. She smirked at the brunette before opening the book and started to read again. 

  
Janis flopped down on her bed and let out a huff. She silently cursed Nielsen who must have jinxed that _whole_ situation into existence. She'd yell at her about tomorrow during her PASS meeting. She closed her eyes and tried to think calm, happy, _non_ blush inducing thoughts. She thought about art and trees and coffee. But the calm thoughts were interrupted by Regina's laugh which was smooth and low. Janis's horny mind took over as she thought about Regina smirking at her and how she should have kept fussing just to _see_ what Regina would have done. Janis’s mind flew to all the different scenarios, causing a heat to form in her lower abdomen. _Fuck_ . This girl was going to drive her _insane_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These poor useless lesbians. Thanks for reading!!!
> 
> https://why-do-i-like-you-ya-dumb-bean.tumblr.com/


	12. Time for an Outing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all! Sorry for this taking so long. I was having some trouble getting parts of this chapter out in a cohesive manner so I took some time away from it. Hope you enjoy!

Regina had never been so excited for it to be time for her PASS meeting. One because she wanted to tell Nielsen that she got an A on her project for Freshmen Seminar. And two because she was probably going to tell Nielsen that she was gay. Regina was pretty sure Nielsen was gay. She dressed rather androgynously, she used dude and dope more than anyone she knew, there was also that little rainbow flag above her whiteboard, and she just kind of gave off that ‘vibe.’ She thought about asking Janis about it but didn’t know how to go about it because she realized to Janis’s knowledge that Regina shouldn’t know that Janis knows Nielsen. Regina only knew because she had been staring at Janis for almost the entire first day of orientation… And  _ maybe _ all the other subsequent orientation days.

Ugh how the  _ fuck _ did it take Regina so long to figure out she was gay? But also, how did it take her  _ years _ to figure out she was super gay for Janis. Regina rolled her eyes at herself as she came into the Learning Center. She looked toward Nielsen’s office and found her drinking out of a mug and reading a book. The ginger didn’t look up at the sound of her arrival until she was in the doorway of her office. She glanced up quickly. “Morning Sunshine. How was your weekend?” She asked casually, before closing her book and giving Regina her full attention.

“Nielsen are you gay?” Regina blurted out before she could stop herself.

“Yep.” The ginger said calmly, slipping the book into her desk. Regina was kind of shocked how the question didn’t faze her.

“Okay cool.” Regina said nervously. She watched Nielsen, who was watching her patiently, giving the blonde a gentle smile like she wasn’t behaving  _ absolutely _ out of character for herself. She and Nielsen normally cranked away on her schoolwork as soon as she got there at 9:00 on the dot, until 9:30 or 9:45 when Regina would leave so she had time to grab a coffee before her next class. They had a good report, talking about school and Regina asked for advice about certain professors and general campus life things, but she had  _ never _ opened up about her personal life. That was until now. “So am I.” 

“Cool! Another sheep to add to my flock.” Nielsen said, smiling widely.

“What?” Regina asked, almost feeling dizzy. Nielsen’s reaction was so  _ calm _ , like the blonde had just told her the sky was blue.

“I have a flock of LGBTQ+ college students that I tend to on this campus. At least three dozen or as many as four dozen. I've lost track at this point. I call myself ‘The Gay Sherpa’… Except instead of y’all being calm little sheep, you’re more like a bunch of kittens at the beginning of their first ever catnip trip and all cracked out as  _ hell _ jumping around, knocking shit over, and whining, and crying.” Nielsen said casually. “But I love it so I can’t really complain.”

“You’re so calm about it.” Regina said, her tone reading as felt. Disappointed. She slinked into her normal seat.

Nielsen tilted her head slightly and softness came across her face. “I’m very calm, yes. Being gay is nothing out of the ordinary for me and so many people have come out to me that I’ve found, as an adult figure, that having a relatively soft and calm reaction works best. I’m like the practice round for other adulty adults.” Nielsen said all of this still in a calm manner, though she did look a little confused. But when Regina began to shake Nielsen’s face flipped to concern as she quickly got up and put a chair in front of Regina. The blonde closed her eyes trying to contain herself but tears began to fall. She jumped slightly as a tissue met the underside of her eyes and a hand met her shoulder. “Sorry friend for the nonchalance. I haven’t been at the beginning part of someone’s coming out process in a while.”

Regina looked up then. “Is it that easy to tell?”

“Yeah but that’s okay. I’m really proud of you for telling me by the way. Thank you for telling me and trusting me as someone to tell at the beginning. I know it can be  _ really _ really hard and scary. It can be difficult at the beginning but I promise it gets easier.” Nielsen’s voice was so soft and nurturing it made Regina wonder if she had kids. 

“I’m sorry for crying.” Regina said, reaching for a tissue.

“No sorrys in this office over feelings. I have a bunch of tissue boxes around the room for a reason. You're not the first and  _ definitely _ won’t be the last person to cry in my office. Can I ask you a few questions?” Nielsen asked, sitting back from Regina.

“Sure.”

“Including myself, how many people know?”

“Three.”

“Are the other two your peers?”

“Yeah my friend Karen and my roommate Janis.”

Nielsen paused for a moment. “Was the realization about all of this recent or have you known for a while and have just been bottling it up?”

“I realized it last Sunday. It was like the world stopped and  _ all _ this stuff started making sense. I should have realized  _ much _ sooner but I think part of me was trying really hard to repress.”

“Why do you think you were trying to repress so much?”

Regina tilted her head at the ginger. “Are you  _ also _ a counselor?” Regina asked.

“No but I’ve been in therapy for almost six years and being gay grants me the insight to know what questions to ask.” Nielsen chuckled.

“Why are you in therapy? You seem so  _ normal _ .” Regina smacked herself internally for not being able to stop herself from asking the question.

“So I can ‘seem so normal.’ Six years ago I was  _ not _ this put together. My anxiety and depression had such a grip on my life that I barely know who I was as a person. It took two years of weekly to biweekly therapy and the acceptance of my hatred for an abusive ex girlfriend to set myself on the path of becoming who I am today. Talking to my therapist enables me to do what we’re doing right now. Does that answer your question?” Nielsen seemed completely unoffended.

“Yes. And to answer your question I’m pretty sure the repression was because I wrecked my first best friend’s life in middle school over being a lesbian, which I didn’t even  _ know _ was true at the time. Once she was out of my life my brain just buckled down on ‘You like boys.  _ Boys _ are cute.  _ Forget _ the stomach flips and the racing heart beat your best friend caused and  _ ignore _ the urge to stare when your new friends wear tight clothing and bend over.’ I think if I hadn't done that shitty thing I would have realized it much sooner. I might even have a  _ girlfriend _ by now if I hadn’t been a coward.” 

“So your first best friend was the initial source. Who’s the source now?”

“My first best friend.”

Nielsen tilted her head in confusion. “But you ruined her life? Did you guys make up?”

“Oh sorry. Yes my first best friend and I made up and now… she’s my roommate here because our moms, after finding out we were both going here, thought it would be a  _ good idea _ to have us live together. Which up until last weekend  _ was _ fine, because my brain had been doing very crazy gymnastics to ignore my  _ very _ obvious feelings for her. But then last Sunday happened and wa-BAM I was like oh my god I have  _ feelings _ for Janis. Which reminds me. I know you know Janis.” Nielsen quirked an eyebrow but stayed silent. “I don’t know  _ how _ you know her but you guys were already chummy at orientation. Which kind of makes me question why I’m telling you all of this because you could just tell her all of this stuff.” Regina’s heart started racing at the idea that Nielsen could just go and tell Janis everything she just said.

“I’m not going to tell her anything. This is none of my business. You’re my student telling me something during a PASS meeting. Everything talked about here at this time is protected by a law called FERPA. Be it academic  _ or _ gay crisis, our time and what we talk about here is protected by that law. If I were to tell Janis something we talked about and she told you that it came from me you could sue me. You would win and I would be fired. But also it’s just like the morally correct thing for me not to tell. I’m here to be a trusted adult. Plus being as I  _ am _ the Gay Sherpa I’ve handled this exact situation before.” Nielsen’s voice almost read as cocky in her last sentence.

“The exact same?” Regina asked skeptically. 

“Yeah. I advise one of the sororities. Feelings develop between them or someone outside of the house  _ all _ the time. Whenever it happens I just sit back and listen. Then I go about my day and see almost  _ every _ person I just heard about and act like I  _ didn’t _ just get a dissertation on why their blue eyes are the  _ prettiest _ blue eyes on campus. I’m not held by FERPA to keep that to myself, it's just the right thing to do.”

Regina let out a sigh of relief. “Okay that makes me feel better. So can I do that to you  _ now _ ? Nielsen this  _ girl _ is going to put me in the grave early.” The blonde gave her a pleading look.

“Of course Bud. Tell me what you like about our friend Janis.” Nielsen propped her head in one of her hands ready to listen.

“Everything. Even when she’s being  _ purposefully _ obnoxious she’s just… She’s  _ crazy _ talented with a paintbrush, she’s one of the most giving and caring people I know, she’s  _ so _ confident in herself, she’s so goofy, she can understand and forgive quicker than  _ anyone _ I know, and when you’re her friend she protects you no matter what… Oh and she’s hot as  _ fuck _ .” Regina felt blush on her cheeks. She couldn’t bring herself to look at Nielsen but she heard a gentle chuckle. “Nielsen you’ve seen her you  _ have _ to see what I see.”

“Woah  _ woah _ there, I see a child. I’m twenty-seven. I work at this school. I have no opinions of  _ that _ manner when it comes to students.” Regina was going to press the issue but when she looked at the ginger and saw her genuine discomfort.

“Okay fine. But what about professors? If I want to rant about my professor crush will you  _ at least _ talk with me about that?” Regina whined.

Nielsen pondered the question for a moment before answering. “I suppose so. I had a good number of them as professors.”

“Holly Hillgardner.”

“I was in her first ever class here. If she were  _ anything _ but married and straight I would wife her up in two seconds.” Nielsen’s face was dead serious before cracking a smirk.

Regina couldn’t help but laugh at the ginger’s deadpan response. “Okay well I’m glad we can have that to talk about. What about celebrities?” Regina asked. 

“I will marry Anna Kendrick or Brie Larson.” Nielsen responded quickly. The girls laughed. Regina felt way more as easy. Nielsen spoke again. “Okay let’s get back to your lecture on Janis. Unless you’re all lectured out?”

“Not even close.” The blonde laughed, as she felt a slight blush come to her cheeks. It felt relieving to tell someone all these feelings. She had Karen but Facetime wasn’t the same as in person. She planned on telling Gretchen in the near future. It seemed pretty obvious to Regina when she had her emergency FaceTime with Karen that the blue eyed blonde knew why Gretchen was okay with Regina being gay. She was excited to find out why.

“It took me until last weekend to fully process the general gay feelings  _ and _ my feelings for Jan. They’re  _ so _ strong. Like in general it’s been  _ glaring _ for years. Sleeping with guys was  _ so _ boring and I just thought that this is what sex was like…” A lightbulb went off in her mind. “Oh my god that’s why my friend Karen would always press that I hadn’t found the right  _ person _ . Karen’s a people genius. Anyway it was like so bad and I didn’t understand. And since I hit puberty I’ve had these dreams about  _ all _ my girl friends. Like  _ super _ gay dreams that I told myself that everyone had. And then there’s all the Janis stuff.” Regina took a deep breath. She almost felt a little embarrassed spilling all her repressed emotions but it felt  _ so _ good to just let it out. 

“Nielsen I think I felt  _ something _ for her as soon as I laid my eyes on her when we were three. Here was this scrawny girl sitting in the corner all by herself. There were all these other kids trying to get me to play with them but there was something drawing me to this weird girl. I told her that she wouldn’t make any friends by sitting in the corner and being weird. She had some sort of snotty response and I was  _ floored _ . Little me was  _ immediately _ like ‘I want this one as my friend. She’s different.’ I shit you not that up until that moment no one had  _ ever _ sassed me back. I was rather spoiled -I mean I still am but I’m aware of it now- and no one  _ ever _ challenged me until then. I got  _ whatever _ I wanted without really having to ask. And that continued with everyone… except Jan. I could  _ never _ bend her to my will with barking orders or making threats. If I wanted something from her I had to ask  _ and _ be nice about it. As we got older and closer to the time of the middle incident I realize  _ now _ how much I flirted with her and subconsciously knew she felt something at that time too. All I had to do was pout hard enough at her and bat my eyelashes and she’d  _ crack _ . It was the cutest thing  _ ever _ . She’d blush like crazy and I loved it. Honestly I thought that  _ all _ best friends did that stuff. It never occurred to me that it was a gay thing. But now… on our second tour it just all fell into place. These feelings are  _ so _ strong. I’ve never ever felt  _ anything _ like this for anyone else. Big crazy gay feelings for her. Nielsen it’s taken like  _ every _ fiber of my being to  _ not _ kiss her since last Sunday.”

“Have you told her any of this?” Nielsen interrupted.

“Oh  _ hell _ no. I wrecked her life for nearly  _ four _ years Nielsen. Ruined it. I’m lucky she even wants to be  _ friends _ with me now. Plus I may or may not have  _ almost _ told her I lo-liked her but then backtracked before getting too specific and  _ lied _ by saying I had feelings for someone else. So no, I haven’t told her and I will go to my  _ grave _ never having told her. She’d never feel that way about me. After talking with Karen there’s a very high probability the feelings were mutual  _ before _ the middle school in but now there’s no wa-”

“Nielseeeeeen.” Came a voice from outside the office that made Regina’s stomach drop. She watched Nielsen whip her head in the direction of the ever familiar voice. “ _ Nielsen _ I’m not gonna make it much longer. I-”

“Woah woah  _ woah _ Jan slow your roll. I’m in a  _ meeting _ with another student.” Nielsen lectured while moving her hands in a shooing motion. “Back up mofo. How many times have I told you there is someone in here  _ before _ you?”

“Like at  _ least _ once a week. Who’s in there with you? Can’t we  _ share _ ?” Janis whined. Regina suppressed a giggle at the tone.

“None of your business goofball. And absolutely not. If you want an earlier meeting you can have the  _ 8am _ slot. Should I put you down for that?”

Janis groaned before speaking. Regina could practically see the brunette’s sourpuss face. “No I would rather scoop my eyes out with a  _ spoon _ .” 

“Then you need to practice patience. Here are your options. Go get some food and come back  _ at ten _ , chat with Miss. Sue until  _ ten _ , go hang out with Miss Bri. until  _ ten _ , or you can sit at that table furthest from my office and wait  _ until ten _ . 

“Can I sit in there?” Janis asked in a mischievous voice.    
  


“ _ Fuck _ no. Then you can see who’s in my office and I  _ already _ denied you that knowledge. Pick an option or  _ no _ meetings together next semester.” Nielsen threatened furrowing her brow.

Regina heard a gasp that was laced with offence. She could imagine Janis putting a hand to her chest. The blonde rolled her eyes and decided that no matter how hard Nielsen tried to save their chance to have a peaceful conversation there was no use.  _ Of course _ they were both in the PASS program with the  _ same _ person for meetings. “Jan stop being so  _ fucking _ dramatic you big baby.” The blonde called.

“What  _ the _ fuck?” Janis’s voice was full of confusion. Regina stared at the door while putting on a smirk. As soon as Janis’s eyes fell on the blonde, she gaped. Regina could see redness building on the brunette’s cheeks which only made her smirk grow larger. Janis was  _ so _ easy to fluster still for whatever reason. Even though the blonde knew it didn’t mean the same thing as it did in the past she still  _ thoroughly _ enjoyed making it happen. “ _ You’re _ her 9am?” Janis asked. Regina responded by batting her eyelashes and nodding. Her gaze moved to Nielsen. “You didn’t  _ tell _ me she was your 9am?”

“I’ve  _ already _ explained FERPA to you. I love my job and I want to  _ keep _ it.” Nielsen retorted. “But now you know why you  _ can’t _ have the 9am slot. We’re in the middle of discussing something for a class so you have to go bye byes now. You get to see my shining face in like fifteen minutes.” 

Janis rolled her eyes and sighed. “Fine whatever. I’m gonna tell Miss Sue you were  _ mean _ to me.” 

“She’ll have no pity on you. Have fun listening to a bunch of stories about her grandkids.” Nielsen said, waving to Janis who flipped her off. She looked back at Regina with a smirk. “Well that was close.” The ginger chuckled. “That’s probably our queue to actually talk about school. What’d you get on the Freshmen Sem project?”

****************************************************

Like every day after religion Syd, Herb, and Doris were off to the races to get to the caf. Janis and Regina hadn’t said much to each other which was weird for their walks. They’d normally be making little comments about their friends being crazy and laughing. Regina had still remembered to bring Janis her coffee as promised but there was a quiet awkwardness between them that  _ of course _ Syd noticed.

Janis was the first to break the silence. “So you’re in the PASS program too.”

“Yep. I didn’t know you had stuff going on in the academic department. You always did so well.”

Janis chuckled. “You must have forgotten part of our elementary school experience.”

Regina looked at the brunette with confusion. “What am I forgetting?”

“Do you  _ really _ not remember me having to leave class for Language Arts? You threw fits for like  _ a month _ when it first started happening and demanded to go with me.” Janis laughed heartily. Regina’s stomach flipped at the sound. Her laugh had always done that. Even when they weren’t friends, which at the time the blonde hated. “I got pulled out because I’m dyslexic.”

Regina wracked her brain for the memory and finally came upon it. She really did throw down with their second grade teacher. “Why didn’t we ever talk about it?”

“I’m not sure. I think I was a little embarrassed maybe. You read  _ so _ many books when we were young and I could  _ barely _ read a paragraph without help. That’s why whenever we did homework together I  _ only _ wanted to do Math. I also have ADHD by the way. That’s why you always catch me staring out into space and fidgeting. I don’t take any med for it. But anyway, I did well in school because I had help. I got extra time to do tests and homework, I got to go to smaller, quieter places to take tests, and I almost always was in a class that also had an extra teacher who was a special ed teacher. Plus they did some sort of program that taught my brain to counteract a lot of the things the dyslexia was doing.” Janis finished while she opened the door to the caf for her blonde counterpart. 

“Thanks Jan.” Regina said quietly, while she shoved down the blush creeping up her face. A silence fell between them again until they got to the hot food line which was two miles long. But they’d both wait because  _ cheese fries _ .

“So are you in PASS because of the…” Janis’s voice tapered off. Regina watched guilt flair up on the brunette’s face.

Regina gently elbowed her friend. “Hey  _ don’t _ do that.” Regina said gently. Janis turned her head away from the blonde as her shoulders dropped. Regina without thinking grabbed Janis’s hand and gave it a squeeze. Regina knew it probably looked a little odd to the people behind them but she frankly didn’t care. “Jan whatever mean thing your brain is telling you right now it’s  _ not _ true. Yes I’m in PASS because of the bus. I have traumatic brain injury -TBI for short- from it.” Janis’s head whipped around and it looked like she was about to burst into tears. “Uh uh  _ no _ . We’ve talked about this. Everything that happened, could have  _ still _ happened under different circumstances.” Regina tightened the grip on the brunette’s hand. “Janis it was  _ not _ your fault.”

“I… I’m still working on believing that.” Janis said, stealing a quick glance at the blonde.

“Keep working on it.” Regina said gently letting go of Janis’s hand. “It’s not that bad, I got pretty lucky. All it really affects is my ability to multitask anything if I have to listen at the same time. Have you ever noticed I don’t really take notes in Holly’s class? It’s because I have a dictation app on my phone turning her lectures into text. I can’t really take notes and listen anymore. The only other thing the injury caused is that I can be hypersensitive to sound sometimes.”

The girls grabbed their food and headed to their normal table. To their surprise all of their friends were there which was odd because normally Barb, Kelly, and Lauren had some Lit class at noon. Regina’s heart started beating rapidly. She had told herself that she would come out to everyone the next time they were all together. She didn’t like holding it in. She wasn’t expecting everyone to be all together until the upcoming weekend. She swallowed hard and tried to keep a steady voice. “No E Hull today?” She asked the table. She and Janis took the two seats that were next to one another.

“That’s right! Thank  _ god _ she’s a fucking nightmare.” Barb said.

The table filled with conversations but all Regina could think about was if and how she was going to tell the table. Obviously no one would be  _ against _ it but what if some of them didn’t believe her? She was so feminine. She glanced down at her outfit of the day and frowned. It was very casual but nothing about it screamed ‘Hello world I like girls.’ She was in black Lululemon leggings that had triangular cutouts up the side with white slip ons adorning her feet. On her top half was a slightly oversized light olive cropped sweatshirt. She pondered the concept of buying a flannel.

“Hey princess, what are you thinking about over there?” Syd’s voice came, bringing her partially back into reality. She couldn’t stop thinking about how she didn’t look gay at all. She started to wonder if Janis actually believed her. She wondered if any of them would believe her.

“Just wondering if you guys will believe when I tell you I’m gay.” Regina said absentmindedly before freezing. She stared into her lunch plate  _ hoping _ a portal would open up in it and take her away. That was the one other thing her TBI caused some times. She’s either verbalized something she meant to keep in her head or kept something rattling around in her brain when she meant to say it out loud. Of  _ all _ the times for her  _ stupid _ brain to fuck that up. She felt a hand rest on top of hers. She looked over at Janis who was giving her a gentle look. She somehow processed through her fear Janis mouthing ‘Breathe. It’s okay.’ Regina looked down at her plate for a second before looking at the rest of the table. To her shock she found nothing but smiles. 

Syd was sitting across from her, giving the blonde a megawatt smile. She reached over and grabbed her available hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. She felt Janis’s hand slowly slip away before Syd spoke. “I’m  _ so _ fucking proud of you and I’m  _ so _ happy you came to this realization before we left college. I was going to be  _ devastated _ if I had to go our whole college career without going to the lesbian friendly strip club in Pittsburgh.”

“Wait did you  _ already _ know?” Regina asked Syd. She looked at everyone else and then glanced quickly Janis feeling hurt. The brunette put up her arms and frantically shook her head ‘no.’ “Did you  _ all _ know.” The table collectively shook their heads ‘no.’

“Regina none of them knew until now. They  _ all _ have broken gaydar and you  _ know _ Janis wouldn’t do that. I just picked up on little things but really you look at Holly the way Janis and I do.  _Thirstily_.” Syd gave both the blonde and brunette a smirk.

“I don’t look at Holly that way!” Janis exclaimed, turning red as a fresh tomato.

“Oh sorry I should have said hungrily because you look at her the way a kid looks at the popsicle on a hot day.” Syd replied and chuckled as Janis sank down in her chair seemingly unable to find a reply. “That’s what I thought.” Syd said triumphantly while the table giggled. “But anyway Reg, I’m so proud of you! We all are. You are valid and  _ of course _ all of us believe you.” Syd said smiling. The table erupted with whoops of agreement and a number of hell yeahs.

Regina let out a sigh of relief. How’d she get so lucky with friends like these?

***************************

Regina was walking back to Phillips after her 2pm when Syd popped up out of nowhere. “Hey friend.” Syd greeted. 

“Hey Syd.” Regina greeted back. Syd was giving her a sly smile. “What’s that look for?” The blonde asked, suspicious.

“Sooo are you and Janjan going to start dating  _ soon _ or am I going to have to watch you two dance around y’all’s sexual tension  _ forever _ ?” Syd asked in an innocent tone. 

Regina nearly tripped over her feet and couldn’t hide the blush that cropped up on her face. “I-I-I have  _ no _ idea what the  _ fuck _ you’re talking about. She doesn’t feel  _ that way _ about me. We’re  _ just _ friends. That’s all. There’s  _ no _ sexual tension.” 

“Oh… I see… So that first day of orientation you’re going to tell me that I didn’t catch you eye fucking her a  _ least _ three times? And you’re going to tell me that when I see you smiling at her that it’s not a  _ completely _ different smile than the one you give everyone else? Oh and are you really going to try and tell  _ me _ that you starting little dumb arguments isn’t you  _ purposefully _ trying to rile her up and fluster her on a regular basis? Oh oh and you’re going to try and tell me that you don’t  _ absolutely _ undress her with your eyes  _ every _ time she leaves our table at the caf? You’re going to tell that I’m just  _ seeing _ things? That there’s  _ nooo _ sexual tension between you two? Really?” Syd’s speech took them all the way to the third floor. 

“Okay  _ fine _ just shut up for a second and come to my room. I don’t need this spreading all over Phillips.” Regina said with slight irritation in her tone. As soon as the door closed Regina started rambling. “Okay  _ yes _ I like Janis. She’s the  _ whole _ reason I figured it out last Sunday. When I woke up after our adventure to the bar she was sitting on that  _ stupid _ stool and looked like a  _ goddamn _ punk goddess with sun in her hair and shit and it all just hit me. I’ve liked her for as long as I can remember but didn’t realize that these feelings were  _ gay _ feelings because hashtag the  _patriarchy_ or whatever.”

“Lovely. Why don’t you tell her that she’s a punk  _ goddess _ and throw her on your bed?” Syd asked, quirking an eyebrow.

“Fuck you’re like the  _ third _ person I’ve had to tell. She doesn’t feel  _ that way _ about me. She never could after everything I put her through. Anyone who thinks otherwise is  _ crazy _ … Plus I  _ might _ have told her in a moment of panic that I liked someone  _ else _ to stop myself from confessing my feelings for her.” Regina looked over at Syd and gave her a tense smile.

“You dumb  _ hoe _ you did  _ not _ use me to throw her off your scent. Do not tell me that Regina George. Tell me you’re  _ smarter _ than that.” Syd said, rolling her eyes at the blonde giving her the ‘really?’ look.

“I got hit by a bus and  _ died _ for fifteen seconds. I lost some brain cells in the process.” Regina said nervously. 

“Jesus  _ christ _ girl. So you’re telling me you think Janis  _ doesn’t _ like you back?” Syd asked, still giving her the ‘really?’ look. 

“Yeah  _ duh _ Syd.” Regina said flopping on her bed. “I know when someone likes me. Trust me in high school boys were  _ lined up _ trying to date me. I  _ know _ the signs.” 

“Listen princess I won’t press this but I’ll leave you with this knowledge from someone who’s been aware of their queerness for five years now. Girls and boys giving signs are like  _ apples and oranges _ . So maybe don’t  _ completely _ roll your pretty little eyes at me when I say I see sexual tension between you two. I’m going to go take a nap before dinner.” Syd started walking towards the door but paused and turned around with a mischievous look on her face. “Just promise me something Regina.”

“Whatever you want Syd.” Regina said while she sat up. 

“Promise me I’ll be in your bridal party when you marry her. I want to meet Gretchen and Karen.” Syd giggled before darting out of the room to avoid a pillow flying at her.

Regina grabbed another pillow and pressed it to her face. She took a deep breath and let out a frustrated scream. These feelings were going to put her in an early grave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Hope you're staying safe! 
> 
> https://why-do-i-like-you-ya-dumb-bean.tumblr.com/


	13. Floundering in Flirtation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Drink Game Definition Time!  
> Circle of Death-A standard deck of cards in placed in a circle around people and each card means something different. Ex: 3 means me so the person who drew the card must drink. 7 means heaven, last person to point up must drink.  
> Never have I ever- every knows what this game is  
> Boxers or Briefs- one person at a time gives the group two preferences to guess between Ex: do I like sushi or pizza more. Who ever guesses incorrectly drinks.
> 
> Happy Saturday everyone ;)

Since Regina came out to The Super Crew it seemed like the last two weeks had flown by  _ super _ fast but also  _ painfully _ slow all at the same time for Janis. To say she was confused was a  _ major _ understatement. It seemed like Syd had been flirting with her since the day following the blonde coming out to everyone. 

The confusion started on the Monday after Regina came out when she walked into religion and Syd was in Regina’s normal seat. Janis took her regular seat but when Regina came in she was visibly annoyed. Before class started Syd acted like Regina didn’t exist. Janis had tried to bring Regina into the conversation but it didn’t work. Syd also kept touching Janis’s arm. The brunette hadn’t been used to that and even though she didn’t have feelings for Syd the physical attention made her blush. This happened for five more classes. Janis had built up the courage by the third class to talk to Regina about Syd’s behavior on the way to lunch. She was surprised when Regina didn’t snap at her. She actually seemed to calm down as soon as it was just the two of them. The blonde said she couldn’t logically be angry at Janis when it was Syd who was the one flirting. It was a relief to Janis. But _ still _ Regina couldn’t hide her irritation in class. Syd had also taken to sitting next to Janis at lunch, beating Regina to the seat.

Then last Saturday, The Phil Crew took the Art Gang down to Bubba’s, ie. the barely off campus bar, for the first time. Janis had been nervous as  _ hell _ . The only time she had ever drank before was with Damian over the summer with his theater camp friends. She had invited her summer fling. That’s when the table dancing had happened. She had also just ended up talking about Regina the  _ entire _ time. Her fling -Kylie- had been rightfully annoyed and decided to end the fling. Janis had been so worried that she’d let her feelings slip to someone while at Bubba’s. She figured if she couldn’t keep her mouth shut when she was  _ suppressing _ her feelings, how could she keep her mouth shut when she was  _ extremely aware _ of the feelings?

To her own surprise she ended up not saying a word to anyone that night. She told Mya about Bubba’s and the therapist told her she wasn’t surprised she kept quiet. She hypothesized that Janis talked about Regina in the summer  _ because _ she had been suppressing the feelings. It was some kind psychology about the more you push away the thought, the more you’ll think about it or something. So now that Janis was  _ open _ with herself, her subconscious wasn’t trying to force it to the surface.

That night everyone had been pretty drunk and all had a wonderful time. She saw a bunch of people from her classes and the Super Crew had ended up talking to one of the sororities who happened to be sitting at the table next to them. They were really cool and to Janis’s delight when she asked them if Nielsen was their advisor, they excitedly replied yes. 

All of those parts were amazing but there was another part that sent Janis into the extreme confused and flustered state she’d been  _ floundering _ in since then. It started when Syd dragged her onto the dance floor away from the safety of Barb, Herb, and Doris. As hard as she tried to get them to  _ stop _ her the triad just smiled and waved to her. The girls had all just been kind of bopping around when a particularly sexy song came on. All the girls started moving their bodies in ways Janis did  _ not _ comprehend. When she had tried to slip away back to her art freaks Syd had grabbed the brunette’s hips and pulled her against her. Janis immediately froze and told her she only had the gift of fine motor coordination and had no idea how to control her body to dance. Syd only laughed told her not to say that too loud or all the queer girls would try and take her home. The ebony skinned girl then drew her closer and guided the brunette’s hips with her hands to the beat. Janis ended up staying like that with Syd for a few songs. It was actually  _ really _ fun and exciting getting attention like this from a pretty girl. Though she brought it to an end when in her drunken state she remembered that  _ Regina _ had feelings for Syd. She had panicked and found the girl’s hurt glare. She immediately stepped away and gave the excuse that she had to pee and then snuck back to the triad to hang until Bubba’s closed.

The following morning Janis was worried that Regina would be angry but the blonde had said she wasn’t and that she had actually got to dance with her a bunch of times. Then at breakfast Syd once again sat next to Janis telling Regina to sit across from them. Regina was  _ very _ visibly irritated during the whole meal. She thought the blonde was going to  _ snap _ the fork in her hand when Syd had wiped something off of Janis’s face. Out of fear of Regina’s wrath she told the Aaron lie  _ again _ and went to the Art Building for several hours. Nielsen and Ashley were there again and told them of her Bubba's experience and cockily rubbed the fact that she figured out who’s advisor they were. When she finally got the courage to go back to the room she brought Regina coffee and chips as a peace offering. To her shock Regina  _ wasn’t _ mad at all. She said Syd probably just wanted to get to know her better now that the groups were truly one. 

She thought maybe the current weekend would be different. Unfortunately for Janis, Syd spent most of last night -Friday or the day of the final flirtatious religion class- on Janis’s  _ lap _ in a frat house recliner. Well it wasn’t really unfortunate for Janis. Syd had her back to Janis the entire time with the brunette’s arm around the purple haired girl’s waste. She really didn’t mind the attention. She actually quite liked it. Since she wasn’t going to get the attention she  _ really _ wanted, the attention from Syd could at least occupy her mind. Other than Kylie  _ no one _ had ever really flirted with Janis. And it also felt safe because she knew she would never have to worry about things going far because of Syd’s boyfriend. They had an agreement that they could flirt with anyone when they were apart and even kiss others so long as they were upfront about it. The unfortunate part was catching Regina looking at them. 

All of this flirtation had Janis super frazzled. But the weirdest thing about all of it was whenever it was just Syd and Janis she was  _ completely _ normal. Like in Gen Psych Syd she behaved as she did  _ before _ Regina came out. Or like when she ran into her at the library she didn’t act flirtatiously  _ at all _ . It was weird.

It was now 8pm on Saturday night and Janis anxiously waiting for Regina to return from her shopping trip with the Phil Crew. They invited her but she had decided after Regina snapped at her earlier in the day out of nowhere about her trashcan being too full that she would stay home and study for her Art History exam since she was going to be useless tomorrow. 

The Super Crew had made a pact that they would all get really drunk and go to the bar and be crazy before Halloween came so they knew what everyone was like. Halloween weekend was the most  _ notorious _ weekend of the fall semester on Bethany’s campus and everyone went  _ insane _ . They thought a test run would be a good idea to see if anyone did problematic things when extremely intoxicated. They also preemptively cancelled Super Crew Brunch.  _ No one _ would be out of bed in time for that.

Janis had decided that she would apologize to Regina for not telling Syd she wasn’t interested. The Art Gang told her that it was unnecessary. Damian and Cady had echoed the same thing to her when she told them. Damian and Cady also collectively shouted at Janis to grow some lesballs and just tell Regina how she felt. They both thought she was crazy to think Regina actually liked someone other than Janis. She asked them if they heard that straight from Regina’s mouth. They both said no so she dismissed their claim. 

At around 8:30 the door opened and in came Regina with several bags. “Hey Jan, how was studying?” Regina asked casually as she put her bags down.

“What?” Janis asked, still swallowed up by her thoughts. She hadn't actually studied.

Regina quirked an eyebrow and smirked at Janis. “I  _ knew _ you were lying.” The blonde said cockily.

“What?” Janis squeaked. “I-I didn’t lie. I actually  _ just _ got done studying.” The brunette tried keeping her tone even but it was impossible. There was something about Regina’s smirk that  _ always _ made Janis’s brain fritz out. 

“ _ Oh, _ you actually studied?” Regina asked. A new smile graced her lips but it was something Janis hadn’t ever really seen. It was somewhere in the confidence category but a little different. Janis felt a shiver go down her spine as Regina’s eyes flicked over her. “Tell me some stuff you studied.” The blonde revealed her teeth as she smiled that still new confident smile.

“Oh yeah sure.” Janis started. But her heart began to pound in her chest as Regina started walking towards the brunette’s bed. “I studied Expressionism Period stuff.” Janis said nervously as Regina plopped down on the foot end of Janis’s bed and sat cross legged. Her smirk was ever present. 

“Expressionism wow. You guys must be jumping around  _ quite _ a bit because the last time you talked about Art History you were  _ only _ in the Rococo Period.” Regina’s tone was cocky, and she had the right to be. Janis was caught. 

“Okay  _ fine _ I didn’t study.” Janis huffed. She forgot Regina actually knew some art stuff. Her dad was a collector. 

“Why did you lie about needing to study?” Regina inquired. 

Janis was about to tell her but faltered. “I- it’s nothing. I just didn’t  _ feel _ like going and figured studying would be the easiest way to get out of it.”

“ _ Liar _ .” Regina dramatically huffed and playfully smacked Janis’s leg. “Why are you lying?”

“I-I’m not l-lying.” Janis stammered out. Regina rose to her knees on the bed and gave Janis a dangerous grin.

“Jan,  _ why _ are you lying to me? You  _ know _ I can sense bullshit from a mile away.” Regina’s eyes flashed with something that made Janis’s heart race. She could feel blush creeping up her neck and into her cheeks. Regina might not have been mean anymore but she  _ still _ had some lioness in her because the way the blonde was looking at Janis had the brunette feeling like a piece of meat. Janis wasn’t going to lie. It was  _ hot as fuck _ . Regina leaned down a bit towards Janis. “Tell me why you’re lying, Janis. Don’t  _ make _ me use the old tactics.”

“Reg we’re eighteen. I only gave in  _ before _ because we were kids.” Janis bluffed. She could feel her whole face heating up now.

“I smell bullshit again Jan. I think there were  _ other _ reasons they worked.” Regina’s voice was oozing with confidence. Janis felt heat pooling in her stomach. This felt  _ very _ flirtatious and Janis could help but feel exhilarated from it. “Last chance Jan.” Regina said leaning dangerously close to Janis. Their eyes met a Janis  _ swore _ Regina looked like she wanted to kiss her. Her green eyes kept darting between Janis eyes and lips. She allowed her eyes to looked down at Regina’s lips and  _ fuck _ did they look amazing. 

To Janis’s surprise she felt fingers spastically running across and her stomach and around her sides. The brunette yelped and squealed and tried to hop back but her foot caught in a blanket, causing her to fall back onto the bed. Regina followed with her and ended up between her legs. Her fingers mercilessly continued their campaign across Janis’s abdomen as the brunette tried to pry the nimble hands away. “Tell me why you’re  _ lying _ , Janjan and I’ll stop. You  _ know _ how this goes.”

“ _ Never _ Reggie.” Janis snarled, trying to squirm away. Janis couldn’t believe she was  _ still _ this ticklish. Stupid body. But the ever present horny part of her brain was having a  _ great _ time.

“Wow you’re being  _ surprisingly _ strong willed. But we know I  _ always _ get what I want and I’ll do what I have to.” Regina said evilly. Janis’s heart dropped as she knew what was coming. The blonde leaned down slightly closer to brunette and snaked her hands to Janis’s back and gently pressed into her back dimples. 

Janis let out a shriek and squirmed. Regina repeated the action once more. “Okay OKAY MERCY.” Janis yelped. Regina immediately stopped and returned to her crossed legged position with the biggest shit eating grin on her face. If looks could kill the blonde would be dead. Janis, red faced, while trying to gather her thoughts, managed to send a searing glare at the blonde. This girl was going to put Janis in an  _ early _ grave if the tickling was going to become a part of their friendship dynamic again. When she sat up she took one large breath before speaking. “I lied about studying because I didn’t want you to be mad at me again… like this morning.”

She watched Regina’s face go from confusion to a gentle smile. “Jan I wasn’t mad at you. I’m sorry for snapping. I was mad at myself. I’ve been mad at myself for like two weeks. I’m not used to my feelings being unreciprocated.” 

“I feel you on that.” Janis sighed.

“You do?” Regina’s eyes flashed with curiosity.

“Oh um yeah-”

“Oh my  _ god _ who do you like?” Regina leaned forward just a smidge.

“What I don’t-”

“Hey lesbians! Are you ready to start pregaming or nah? Because the rest of use are and y’all have the biggest room.” Syd’s voice came booming through the door.

**************************************************

By 10pm the Super Crew was thoroughly hammered and stumbling down to the bar. Janis’s mind was swimming with all sorts of confused thoughts. She was so worried that Syd would flirt with her like last night but the purple haired girl was back to her old  _ non _ flirtatious self. But that didn’t mean Janis  _ hadn’t _ been flirted with while they pregamed. The attention she so badly wanted was on her and she didn’t know  _ what _ to do. She had denied it before when it was brief and fleeting but now there had been  _ two full hours _ and Janis was sure… Regina George was  _ flirting _ with her. And Janis was flirting back.

Everyone had made a circle on the floor in her room for games. The Super Crew went in on getting a bunch of Smirnoff Ice and Barb’s older brother bought the packs for them. They started out with several rounds Circle of Death. There was  _ plenty _ of room for everyone to sit but each time Regina got up from her place next to Janis, when she returned she plopped closer  _ and _ closer to Janis, until returning with her fourth drink when Regina just  _ sat _ in Janis crossed legged lap. Janis had made a joke about personal space and Regina had replied that she didn’t seem to mind the personal space invasion  _ earlier _ which received wiggled eyebrows and oooos at the pair. Janis had no reply and flipped off Barb who asked her why she was blushing. Though she was flustered, after a minute of the blonde being on her lap the brunette snaked her arms around Regina’s waist, which earned a surprised squeak that Janis only seemed to hear. 

When it was time for Never Have I Ever Janis learned that Regina had never kissed a girl before. Syd had said that she would do the honors. Janis had frozen  _ trying _ to silence the jealous monster in her stomach thrashing around. Regina had politely declined and said she’d wait for it to happen  _ organically _ . At that same moment Regina wiggled herself ever so slightly  _ closer _ to Janis in her lap, causing Janis to gasp. Regina had definitely noticed because she repeated the action  _ several  _ times until Janis was able to keep herself from reacting. As they wrapped up their pregame with a round of Boxers or Briefs, Janis in her drunken state grew bold and had the group choose between her preference of hair color, blondes or redheads. Regina  _ noticeably _ grew stiffer in Janis’s lap as each person in the circle guessed blondes while all looking at the pair smirking. Regina was the last to guess and chose redheads in the quietest,  _ shyest _ voice possible. Janis had responded by whispering ‘Drink up  _ princess _ .’ into Regina’s ear. Regina noticeably squeaked that time which elicited giggles from the peanut gallery. 

Now the two of them were almost to Bubba’s, walking beside each other arguing about who was drunker, while everyone else had already made it inside. 

“Jan you’re  _ way _ more drunk then I am. We drank the same amount of Ices and I’ve been drinking  _ longer _ so you’re drunker.” Regina slurred. 

Janis rolled her eyes which made her stumble. “That logic is dumb. I’m  _ taller _ so I’m  _ bigger _ so I’m the  _ less _ drunk one.” 

“We’re like the same  _ fucking _ height!” Regina retorted. Janis scoffed and ignored her, continuing their journey. “Janis you  _ can’t _ pull the tall card! Jan I will  _ fight _ you. You’re like  _ barely _ taller than me.  _ Janjan _ come here.” Regina demanded while grabbing Janis’s hand and pulling the brunette so hard they nearly knocked heads. When Janis found Regina’s eyes they looked nervous. 

Janis being secretly competitive, straightened up her posture. She  _ was _ taller than Regina. Maybe by two inches but she was  _ still _ taller. “Ha! See I  _ am _ taller.” Janis teased, swiping her free hand over Regina’s head. Regina caught that hand and tangled it in hers.

The blonde then put on her best pout. Janis felt her heart skip a beat. Regina then batted her eyelashes before whining, “Fine Janjan you’re  _ taller _ but you’re  _ drunker _ . It’s not  _ fair _ that you can be taller  _ and _ less drunk.” 

What Regina was saying made  _ absolutely _ no sense. But Janis couldn’t argue with the blonde when she put on  _ that _ face. It had been her kryptonite as long as she could remember. Stupid pouty eyelash face. She watched the blonde pull her pouted lip between her teeth and unconsciously licked her own.  _ Fuck _ that was hot. Janis felt herself lean slightly forward before coming to her senses and pulling away but kept one of Regina’s hands in hers. “Fine Reggie I’m  _ more _ drunk.” Janis huffed, blushing wildly. Regina squealed excitedly and quickly dragged Janis the rest of the way to the bar. 

As they entered Bubba’s, still hand in hand, they made their way down to the lower level to where the Super Crew were all bopping on the dance floor. As the pair got down the ramp Janis leaned close to Regina’s ear. “I’m gonna go find us a table.” She said over the loud music. She really didn’t like dancing that much. She was too awkward. But as Janis freed her hand from Regina’s, the blonde used both her hands to pull Janis with her to the Super Crew.

“Oh  _ no _ you don’t. You’re dancing with me… us tonight.” Regina said. Janis watched blush raise up on the blonde’s cheeks.

“Reg please I  _ hate _ dancing. I’m too gangly and have no rhythm.” Janis looked at her pleadingly.

“ _ Noooo _ Jan please will you do it for  _ me _ ? Just for a little while?” Regina pouted again. The blonde took a step closer to the brunette, making the ladder blush. “I’ll help you dance, you’ll have fun.”

Janis knew it was a lost cause to try and fight this. Part of her didn’t want to fight it at all. “As you wish.” She said.

“I’m a great teacher Jan I promise.” Regina said, smirking. Regina led her to the Super Crew and everyone drunkenly cheered. Janis kept a tight lock as the blonde’s hand as they jumped around to some random top forty hits.

Janis’s stomach did a back handspring when Nicki Minaj’s  _ Only _ came over the speakers and Regina moved herself in front of Janis with her back to her and very lightly started grinding on Janis. The brunette froze with her hand still in Regina’s. The blonde moved their locked hands while grabbing the other hand and put both on the blonde’s hip. Regina tilted her face so it was against Janis’s ear. “Just follow my hips with yours and just loosen your body. Like back in the room when I was  _ invading your space _ .” Regina had gotten so close to Janis’s ear she could feel the smirk on her lips as the blonde said those last few words. Regina moved her face away and swayed to the beat. Janis almost felt dizzy feeling Regina’s body move against hers. She felt the presence of eyes on her and found brown ones with a smirk in them. Syd had a big smirk on her face and was giving Janis a thumbs up. She noticed her and the rest of the crew were wandering off the dance floor to probably get more alcohol. Janis was  _ beyond _ confused but the small encouragement gave her the confidence to finally properly move with Regina. She felt the blonde twitch as Janis’s arms wrapped farther around Regina’s waist pulling her closer.

“Is  _ this _ better?” Janis asked against Regina’s ear. All she got was a nod but the shiver she felt gave her the answer she was looking for. This was  _ crazy _ . She was dancing with Regina. And not just like dumb middle school dancing. Like  _ sexy _ dancing. She loved it. Janis let the song and the feeling of Regina in her arms carry her drunkenly through two more songs. At one point Janis nestled her face in the right side of Regina’s neck. The blonde responded by running her left hand up their bodies to play with Janis’s undercut. Janis thought her body was on fire. Who knew dancing could be  _ this _ hot. They stayed like that until a very familiar song came on and Janis used her drunk courage to turn Regina around. She placed the blonde's arms around her neck and her arms went around Regina’s waist. She looked into green eyes and started to melt. The green eyes look surprised but happy. She closed her eyes and let her forehead fall onto Regina’s shoulder. The blonde mimicked her action. “It’s our song.” Janis mumbled drunkenly. Those ten Ices were  _ really _ starting to sink in. 

_ When I was younger I saw my daddy cry and curse at the wind. He broke his own heart and I watched as he tried to resemble it. _

“I haven’t heard this song in  _ years _ .” Regina said in a bittersweet tone.

“Really?” Janis questioned. This was one of Regina’s favorite songs when they were younger.

“No… I couldn’t… It hurt too much.” Regina said nuzzling against Janis.

“That makes sense.” Janis squeaked out. Why was it so  _ warm  _ in this bar? “I couldn’t listen to it until last year. It still hurt though.”

“Does it hurt now?” The blonde asked quietly.

Janis took a pause to think. She felt amazing. “No. I feel like we’re in my backyard under those silly twinkle lights.” 

“I liked those lights. They made  _ everything _ magical. Can we get twinkle lights for our room?” Regina asked. Janis could feel a pout against her shirt.

“As you wish.” Janis whispered while her arms gave Regina a soft squeeze. 

“What does that  _ mean _ ? As you wish.” Regina giggled.

“It’s… I’ll tell you later.” Janis lied. 

“You promise?” The blonde asked, whining. Regina’s finger had started tracing patterns at the top of Janis’s shoulders.

“I promise.” Janis said. A knot formed in her stomach. The pair fell silent as they swayed to the music.

_ And up until now, I had sworn to myself, that I'm content with loneliness. Because none of it was ever worth the risk. Well, you are the only exception. You are the only exception. You are the only exception. You are the only exception. _

“Jan I lied to you.” Regina blurted out, ceasing the pattern one Janis’s shoulders that felt like words. ‘I can F something T something.’

“What about?” Janis asked calmly. Between the fingers and the song it had lulled the brunette into peace.

“I never had feelings for Syd. When you asked me… I panicked and lied.” Regina’s voice was audibly nervous. 

Janis’s mind froze. What in the  _ fuck _ ? Her heart started racing. Why would she  _ lie _ ? Could it mean? No.  _ No _ . No  _ possible _ way. “Why?” She whispered curiously. 

“I wasn’t ready. I still feel like I’m not. But part of me does. It’s confusing and dumb.” Regina said, her tone unreadable.

“Welcome to the lesbian club. I’m telling you we’re  _ cursed _ to be useless.” Janis chuckled.

“You never told me who  _ you _ liked.” Regina said slyly, starting the pattern on Janis’s shoulder’s again. A heat flashes through the brunette.

“I’m not ready. Rejection is  _ highly _ likely.” Janis deflected.

“Is it Syd?” Regina asked, sounding sad.

“Absolutely not. That was your  _ one _ guess.” Janis said, with mock sternness. 

“No  _ faaair _ .” Regina whined as she nuzzled into Janis’s neck.

Janis thought she was going to fall over at the feeling of Regina’s lips practically on her neck. “Hey I didn’t get  _ any _ guesses and I gave you one.” Janis managed to say with only half of it stammered. 

“Whatever… I’ll figure it out. I  _ always _ -”

“Get what you want. Yeah I know.” Janis said, as the song came to an end. She moved her head off of Regina’s shoulder and waited for their eyes to meet.  _ God _ she was so beautiful. This night was like a  _ dream _ and Janis didn’t want to wake up. She just wanted to  _ kiss _ her. That would make the night perfect. But she knew that couldn’t happen. So she’d settle for some more one on one time. “I’m tired. You want to go home?”

“That sounds amazing.” Regina said softly. Janis just smiled back and grabbed one of Regina’s hands. She led them out of the bar and started their journey back to Phillips hand in hand. Janis’s heart raced the entire way. One, because of the hills and two, because Regina was rubbing circles into her palm. The pair used to do it whenever they held hands and walked, which was  _ all the time _ before the middle school incident.

Their journey was comfortably silent, with the exception of their frequent drunken stumbles that they just giggled and sighed about. As they were walking up the stairs of Phillips, Regina broke the silence. “Why do you think you’re going to get rejected by this girl?”

Janis’s heart dropped but responded. “She’s  _ way _ out of my league.” 

“Jan that’s  _ ridiculous _ .” Regina scoffed. “You could get  _ any _ girl you wanted.”

“Reg  _ no _ I couldn’t. I’m too weird. She’s into like  _ athletes _ or some shit.” Janis said, unable to hide her annoyance at the thought of Regina with some basketball or volleyball girl.

“Oh someone sounds  _ salty _ .” The blonde teased.

“Well I’m drunk and thinking about this beautiful amazing girl that will probably  _ never _ like me back. I’m  _ allowed _ to be a little annoyed.” The brunette huffed. She couldn’t  _ believe _ she was saying this to her.

“True true… You should just  _ tell her _ how you feel. Anyone would be  _ lucky _ to have you.” Regina said in that unreadable tone again.

“Pfft come on Reg I’m not like you. I can’t just  _ toss my hair _ and have everyone and their mom falling over each other to get a date.” Janis deflected as she opened the door to their room.

“Jan you’re  _ wrong _ as fuck.” Regina said stubbornly. “You’re hot. And the fact that you  _ don’t _ see it is  _ crazy _ to me.” 

“What did you say?” Janis froze just as they reached the open part of their room. Did  _ Regina _ just call her hot?

Regina paused for a moment before she turned to the girl with a quirked eyebrow and a smirk. “You’re  _ hot _ Jan. You like don’t even  _ see it _ which just makes you hotter. The  _ art _ thing. You’re protective nature. The inability to function when being  _ flirted _ with. You feel dumb but girls  _ love _ that shit.” Regina had that look on her face again. The one that made Janis feel like a steak. Regina took a step towards Janis.

Janis quickly took a step back but Regina matched her. “Reg w-w-what are you-” Janis tried to stutter out. She tried to take another full step away but her back met the wall. Regina followed her shortened stride with the smirk on her lips. Their faces were only inches apart. This was a bad idea and Janis knew it. She needed to move.

“Jan I think you  _ know _ what I’m doing.” Regina whispered gently. The blonde’s smirk shifted into a nervous smile as she started to lean in, Janis squeezed her eyes shut. She just had to stay still no matter how badly she wanted to reciprocate. They were just drunk and gay and Regina had never done  _ anything _ with a girl before. This wasn’t how it should happen for the blonde. She deserved better in  _ so many _ ways. 

To Janis’s utter shock no lips met hers but instead a forehead to her own. She opened her eyes to see if there were green ones staring back but they were closed. As she closed hers once more as she felt the grip of hands on the front of her shirt. “You don’t want to kiss me do you?” Regina’s voice cracked.

“I-I-I… you don’t do this stuff when you drink.” Janis said, torn by her urges.

“I  _ kiss _ people when I drink.” Regina said, almost sad.

“I think we  _ both _ know it wouldn’t stop at kissing.” Janis said honestly. She didn’t know if she could keep it together much longer. She had to move. Her whole body was screaming at her.

“Would that be so  _ bad _ Jan?” Regina sounded like she might cry.

“Sober?  _ No _ . Drunk?  _ Yes _ .” Janis said. The blonde replied with a sorrowful whine. “Reg I  _ can’t _ do this to you, to us, to myself… You should have this experience with someone you  _ really _ want.”

“Jan I  _ already _ told you I lied about liking Syd.” The blonde’s tone had the slightest bit of sass.

“Yeah but you didn’t tell me who you  _ actually _ liked.” Janis said softly. It couldn’t be. There was no way.

“Janis Naomi I think you  _ know _ who I like. It’s been the  _ same _ person since I was  _ three _ .” Regina said, bringing a hand to the brunette’s cheek. Janis’s heart started racing impossibly faster. There was  _ no _ way. But  _ there _ it was. She said it. She  _ actually _ said it. Regina spoke again. “You never answered me. You don’t want to kiss me do you?”

“Regina Blaire…” Janis felt her willpower slipping as she nuzzled her forehead against the blonde’s. Regina had no idea how  _ badly  _ she wanted to kiss her. But they were drunk. “I’d give up my painting arm to kiss you right now.”

“Then do it.” Regina replied. The brunette stopped herself from turning to kiss the shaking hand resting on her cheek.

"I can't just hack off my arm." Janis chuckled while her hands drifted to rest on Regina's hips. 

“Just a  _ little _ one Jan. Aren't you curious?" Regina’s tone was somewhere between defeat and hope.

“Reg I-”

“Just one.  _ One _ little kiss. Then we’ll go to bed and talk about it in the morning.” Regina’s gently pleaded. The other hand came to Janis’s cheek. The pads of the green eyed girl’s thumbs traced little circles into her grey eyed counterpart’s soft skin gently. “If you don’t want to-”

Janis couldn’t take it anymore and closed the minuscule gap between their lips. It felt like the world stopped. Regina’s lips were the softest thing she had  _ ever _ felt in her life. They tasted like raspberry Smirnoff Ice. Janis thought she might die on the spot as Regina’s lips moved against hers. A slow dance began as Janis captured Regina’s low lip between her own. Regina’s hands sank into the hair at the nape of Janis' neck. Janis' arms snaked around Regina’s waist and brought their bodies closer. Neither pulled back but only added slightly more pressure at each point of contact as the seconds ticked by. 

Time was up. It had gone on  _ long _ enough. It was  _ enough _ . Janis had to gain back her self control or in the not so distant future  _ Regina _ would be the one against the wall and a  _ hand _ up her shirt. As much as she wanted that she  _ couldn't _ let that happen. Not while they were like this. Time was up.

Janis began to pull away but Regina’s lips followed hers and captured the brunette’s lip gently with her teeth. Janis’s heartbeat skyrocketed as she couldn’t stop a gasp from escaping her lips. She felt Regina lips smile against hers as they came back together. The blonde’s nails dug into the brunette’s neck and scalp slightly and a fog began to form. Janis let her nails do the same at Regina’s hips which caused a squeak to fly past the blonde’s lips. 

Janis  _ should’ve _ pulled back when the squeak came but she only hungrily captured Regina’s lips again, digging her dull nails further into the cloth covering the blonde’s hips. Regina let out the tiniest whimper and responded in kind by threading her fingers through Janis’s hair and giving a tiny tug. Janis let out something between a gasp and choked moan as the sensation made her noticeably shiver before finding Regina’s lips once more that had a smirk on them.

It all felt so right holding Regina in her arms. Each curve of their bodies fit with the other’s. The way Regina sucked on her bottom lip and nipped at it was intoxicating. Janis didn’t want to let go. She wanted to stay like that until another asteroid came and wiped everyone out. This was  _ perfect _ . Regina was  _ perfect _ . Regina Regina Regina…  _ Wait  _ Regina. Janis needed to protect her. She  _ needed _ to keep her from making a mistake. Going any further with Janis  _ would _ be a mistake. Regina was so drunk and so was she. All the things the blonde said were her just being nice so she could get her first girl kiss out of the way. It didn’t make Janis mad, a little hurt but not mad. She actually felt a little honored that Regina trusted her with that. Too bad by giving into it, it would send the brunette into a spiral. But hey  _ at least _ she can say she kissed her crush. God her lips felt incredible.

Janis took one last gentle tug on Regina’s lower lip before pulling away enough for the blonde to understand what was happening. She begrudgingly dropped her arms from around Regina’s perfectly curved hips and let them hang by her own. She let her head rest against the wall and slowly opened her eyes. She watched Regina’s eyes slowly open. The blonde ran her thumbs over the brunette’s cheeks one more time before dropping them and took a small step back. Her eyes were soft and sad. The world started moving again and Janis  _ hated _ it. 

All she wanted to do was pick up the blonde and throw her on a bed and make  _ obscene _ noises escape from her lips. Janis wanted to feel her  _ squirm _ and  _ pulsate _ underneath her adept hands. The brunette wanted to pull her former enemy to her chest after doing  _ ungodly _ things to her and just run gentle fingers through her hair and whisper  _ toothrootingly _ sweet things into her ear until they both succumb to sleep. Janis  _ knew _ she could do it. Regina  _ wouldn’t _ say no. But it would  _ break _ them. What just happened  _ could _ break them. Janis wasn’t what Regina needed nor  _ truly _ wanted. The things she said were just lies and Janis understood. She tried her best to push down the resentment building up. 

But that resentment  _ quickly _ faded as the next sentences that came from the blonde’s lips made the brunette gape. “I feel like I’ve been waiting a lifetime to kiss you. It was worth the wait.” Regina leaned in once more and placed a ghost of a kiss on Janis’s lips. Janis unconsciously leaned into it but it was too late. Regina was walking over to her closet.

“Um… Uh I’m gonna go to the bathroom.” Janis said without waiting for a reply from the blonde.

Oh god  _ oh _ god. Holy  _ shit _ . Holy  _ fucking _ shit she just  _ kissed _ Regina. Regina George. Regina  _ hot ass mother fucking _ George. Holy shit. Why’d she  _ do _ that?! She  _ knew _ why. Because she fucking  _ wanted _ to and it  _ actually _ seemed like Regina wanted to too. Was that  _ possible _ ? Could Regina actually feel the  _ same _ way. She wouldn’t just say those things to her. There was  _ no _ way. Regina wasn’t  _ that _ cruel. Everything that happened tonight had to mean Regina felt the  _ same _ way. How the  _ fuck _ did she even think for a second Regina would just say that for a kiss.  _ Idiot _ . Regina George  _ liked _ her back. Regina George thought she was  _ hot _ . Was she still on planet Earth?

Janis went up the sink and started splashing water on her face. Holy  _ shit _ she kissed Regina. She kissed Regina and it was amazing.  _ Fuck _ . She had to go back to the room and tell her how she felt. It  _ couldn’t _ wait until the morning. She had to do it  _ now _ . She peed, washed her hands, and splashed water on her face a few more times.

Janis ran back down the hallway and practically threw the door open. “Reg.” Janis called. Right as she was about to say her name again she saw the blonde under her covers. Janis watched her for a few moments and realized she was already asleep. The brunette’s heart sank a little as she thought about having to say what she wanted to say  _ sober _ and in the  _ daylight _ . The temptation to wake the blonde was  _ strong _ but decided against it. 

Though the room had started spinning Janis managed to get into her pajamas, drink some water and gatorade, and put crackers and gatorade next to the water on Regina’s nightstand. As Janis laid down in bed she started chanting in her head that she  _ would _ tell Regina how she felt in the morning. As soon as she shut her eyes she was out.

***********************************

When Janis woke up the following morning the light gently trickled through the gaps in the drapes hitting her eyelids. Her head hurt a little bit but she was so grateful that she drank so much water and gatorade before going to bed last night. Last night.  _ Holy shit _ . The sound of munching was coming from the other side of the room. She slowly opened her eyes to see Regina sitting in her bed on her phone putting a saltine in her mouth. She also had Janis’s nightshirt from the puking night on.

“Reg?” Janis asked groggily, keeping her head on her pillow. The blonde looked over at her. “How are you feeling?”

“Jan  _ thank god _ you’re up. What  _ happened _ last night? The last thing I remember was walking into the bar and then  _ nothing _ until I woke up.” Regina said, shaking her head at herself.

Janis’s stomach dropped. No… No  _ no _ no. This  _ couldn’t _ be happening. She didn’t remember a  _ majority _ of the night? How could Janis tell her how she felt  _ now _ ? Regina might think Janis took advantage of her. Even with  _ everything _ the blonde said it didn’t feel right to tell her. ‘Yes good morning roommate of mind. We spent like our  _ entire _ night at the bar in each other’s arms and then spent some time  _ making out _ against that right there. Also I like like you.’ Yeah that would roll over  _ super _ well.

  
Janis felt her heart  _ aching _ as she spoke. “I don’t know either. The last thing I remember was walking down the ramp at Bubba’s when we first got there.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well that was unexpected... Oops. So close yet so far from their desired end.
> 
> Thank you for reading! If you wish to shout at me about my tomfoolery please come to my tumblr or leave a comment below!
> 
> Stay safe everyone!
> 
> https://why-do-i-like-you-ya-dumb-bean.tumblr.com/


	14. FaceTime Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well I see that the last chapter might have ruffled some gay feathers. I'm sorry but I'm not. Angst is my favorite thing. 
> 
> Anywho. I promise the torture will be over soon. I told myself this would be a short chapter but then all of a sudden in was a 15 page google doc. Oop. 
> 
> Happy Friday! Enjoy!

When Regina opened her eyes it seemed like the sun was just barely peeking over the hills surrounding Bethany’s campus. The blonde rolled onto her back and the room lagged behind her. She slowly and carefully groped for her phone. When she looked at the screen there were ten texts from Syd. She really hadn’t looked at her phone since they started pregaming. She had been too… preoccupied to care about her phone.

**9:21pm Syd:** I’m SORRY ma’am did you just steal my flirting tactic?! Nice ;)

**9:40pm Syd:** As previously stated I ship this. Jan’s face when I said I’d kiss you. XD

**9:43pm Syd:** WTF are you doing to that poor girl? She keeps twitching and blushing. XD

**9:57pm Syd:** Oh WOW you okay honey? XD You’re RED. Wtf did she whisper to you to make you squeak like that? 

**10:09pm Syd:** Made it inside. Hurry up so you can do your mating dance in the safety of the bar.

**10:43pm Syd:** Regina George if you don’t kiss that beautiful woman soon I’m gonna do it for you. Y'all such cute little emos :’)

**11:13pm Syd:** DUDE. You better be with Janis! I swear if I find y’alls bodies in ditches I’m gonna revive you both and kill you again. 

**11:14pm Syd:** Also remember that foreplay is key and consent is sexy ;)

**1:45am Syd:** Made it back safe. Art gang is with us.

**2:02pm Syd:** You’re first response better be a fucking selfie with Janis snuggled up to you or I’m going to fight you. Goodnight love <3

Regina finally looked at the top of her phone and saw that it was 6:50am. What in the actual  _ fuck _ was she doing up? She glanced over the texts again and a spark ran through her. Her mind began to wander to the events of last night and heat started pooling in her lower abdomen. She… she did it. She openly flirted with  _ Janis _ . She danced with Janis. She  _ dance _ danced with Janis. She told Janis she was  _ hot _ . She kissed Janis. She  _ made out _ with Janis. Holy  _ shit _ fuck tits. She did it. 

The blonde looked over to the brunette and found her sleeping. She looked so at peace, arm hanging off her bed, mouth agape, and the tiniest snores escaping her body. Regina smiled softly and glanced at the grey eyed girls lips and the heat in her abdomen grew more intense. She could almost still feel Janis’s lips on hers and Janis’s nails digging into her hips. It wasn’t a sensation she was used to, but she liked it. The ghost of Janis’s whispered words tickled her ears and she couldn’t help but shiver.  _ Fuck _ how could Janis make her feel this way  _ right now _ without even touching her? It wasn’t  _ fair _ . 

‘I’d give up my painting arm to kiss you right now.’ Regina felt her heart skip thinking about those words. Syd  _ had _ been right. Janis had to feel the same. She wouldn’t just  _ say _ that. She knew it was a metaphor but of  _ everything _ she could have said, she chose that. Art was her everything. Her voice had been so tender and almost defeated. It  _ had _ to mean what she hoped. Janis liked her back. She  _ had _ to.

Janis abruptly flipped and Regina froze while her stomach dropped to the floor. The blonde wasn’t ready for Janis to be awake. The drapes shifted and Regina became acutely aware of the headache forming in between her eyes and at her temples. She looked to the glass of water she left for yourself and felt a gentle warmth spread through her when she saw the two additions. She quickly glanced over to the brunette and sighed. How’d she get  _ so _ lucky?

Regina quietly sat up in bed and put the saltines and gatorade in her lap. She started and finished her water in a few big gulps, placing it back down on the nightstand gently. She opened the packet of saltines and glanced over at Janis as she stuck a whole one in her mouth.  _ Fuck _ they tasted good. She didn’t know why but she  _ loved _ plain saltines. Janis used to tell her that was some sort of serial killer trait to like them plain. Janis used to eat hers with cream cheese or peanut butter. But then one day when they were probably nine or ten, Regina just shoved a plain one in her mouth and Janis never mocked her again. 

When they weren’t friends she’d occasionally see Janis at the art freak table chowing down on them. It used to make her  _ so _ angry seeing it. She remembered thinking how  _ dare _ she copy her. Completely “forgetting” that she was the one who literally  _ focused _ one into her mouth. That anger pushed her buttons so far one day and she ordered Shane Omen at the end of sophomore year to go over and crush all of them. He did and she remembered chuckling to herself though a small hint of what she realized now was guilt tugging at her. It got worse when she saw Gretchen and Karen exchange what Regina could only assume now was some kind of ‘one day this dumbass will understand she’s gay for Janis’ look. She remembered being annoyed with them the rest of the day because at the time she just thought they were taking pity on the art freak. The pair was probably taking pity on them  _ both _ . 

Fear suddenly started raising up in Regina’s chest. As she thought back to those times she cracked and directly lashed out at Janis. Janis was right the night of their breakthrough that for the most part Regina, after starting everything, didn’t get too creative with her bullying of Janis. She’d call her a space dyke or freak, ask her when the flying saucer was coming to take her back, or like right before the bus say anything about her being gay in front of a bunch of people. This kind of stuff would happen about once a week. They didn’t actually see each other a lot. She realized now that it was because Janis was almost always in classes with an extra teacher and Regina was in college prep classes. But they  _ always _ ended up in Math together every year. That’s where most of the comments were made. 

But two other instances came to her mind when she had done something more out of hand like the crackers. They were both triggered by something that was once their’s. She remembered the first time she heard Janis say ‘That is tits!’ to Damian their freshmen year. That was  _ their _ thing first. Janis said it to annoy Regina because she thought it was immature. Regina reacted by sending Gretchen over to ‘accidentally’ trip over and spill her chocolate milk all over both of them. She remembered Karen looking disappointed in her. 

The other time was right at the beginning of their junior year. It was a Wednesday and Janis had on this striped sweater, half the stripes were burgundy and the other half were  _ pink _ . Regina remembered going into an almost blind rage. That art freak was  _ not _ supposed to be wearing pink, that was a Plastic thing. The  _ space dyke _ was not a Plastic. Her first thought was to try and twist it into something about her wanting into the Plastics to try and  _ convert _ them but the rage pushed her past something so quick and impermant. If she wanted pink she would have it. She used Gretchen and her connections to find out if Janis was working on anything important for her art class. There was nothing for class  _ but _ she had brought in a piece that she was going to enter in a local fall exposition. 

Regina’s stomach churned as she thought back to what she did. She had left lunch early with Gretchen and Karen at her side as she went down to the art room. She left them outside to guard the door as she went in and squeezed an entire bottle of fluorescent pink paint all over the piece. That day was also the first time in years that she and Janis exchanged more than just short insults at each other. Janis had found her in a bathroom and nearly  _ pinned _ Regina to a wall, telling her that what she did to her painting was  _ low _ , even for her. She had  _ never _ seen the girl so furious and it was  _ legitimately _ frightening. So frightening that Regina never told  _ a soul _ about it. She never had one of those urges to mess with her either  _ ever _ again. Thinking back on it now the whole thing probably stemmed from the fact that Regina could  _ never _ get the brunette to put on pink when they were friends. Even  _ the pout _ didn’t work. Stupid internalized homophobia.

Regina’s heartbeat quickened its pace as she thought about the memory. God she was  _ awful _ . How was Janis able to forgive her after  _ all _ that stuff? What if Regina fell back into old habits again? What was really stopping her from turning back into a monster? Could she ever  _ truly _ change? Greta thought she already had and Janis thought the same. But what if she had another full blown episode and it sent her down the drain again? Without weekly in person sessions with Greta, Regina doubted she could stop herself from returning to her  _ monstrous _ state. 

She couldn’t do that to Janis again. Twice was  _ enough _ for a lifetime. She cared for the brunette too much. If she broke her again she wouldn’t be able to live with herself. She looked over to Janis. She felt tears roll down her cheeks. Janis was her perfect weird self. Perfect. She was  _ too _ good for Regina. Last night was the cherry on top of that thought. If Regina had her way she would have broken her  _ cardinal rule _ of drinking. But Janis held her to it. The brunette, even drunk and  _ obviously _ wanting the same thing as the blonde, said no. Since they were little and since becoming friends again she was  _ always _ protecting Regina. All Regina did was cause Janis  _ pain _ .

That was when Regina felt her heart break as she decided… She was going to tell her she blacked out before the kiss.  _ No _ , before they got to Bubba’s. As desperately as Regina and seemingly Janis wanted this to happen, she couldn’t. The chance of hurting Janis was just  _ too _ great. If Janis brought it up she’d blame the alcohol and buckle down on liking Syd. Wait  _ fuck _ she told Janis about lying. Fuck… She’d just have to tell her it was the alcohol. She’d  _ beg _ for her forgiveness and hope that Janis didn’t move out. It was decided. She’d  _ lie _ again.

Regina got up from her bed and went to get her shower stuff. She was so tired last night she just went to sleep in her clothes. She smelled disgusting. She quickly stripped down and put on her robe. She took her time in the shower. She gave her body an extra hard scrub and let her conditioner set for an extra long time. Her heart raced and ached all at once as her hands ran over her waist. When she let her mind wander she could still feel Janis’s arms around them. For a minute she thought about ditching her plan but reminded herself that it was to  _ protect _ Janis from heartbreak. Regina was  _ too _ broken and fucked up. She’d always be teetering between good and evil. Janis  _ deserved _ better. 

When she got back to the room she pulled on some comfy shorts and bralette, the standard Sunday look, and paused in her shirt drawer. Something forest green caught her eye. When she pulled it out it was the shirt Janis had lent her the night she puked. It had the graphic of two hands holding one another in white, cracking vinyl paint. Janis must have made it herself. Regina brought it to rest under her chin. She took a long breath in and smelled the eucalyptus that still permeated the shirt. She had forgotten to wash it and shoved it in her drawer when Janis had left that day. She thought about tossing it in Janis’s hamper but then pulled it over her head and let it fall past her shorts. If she was going to give up having Janis she would hold on to the shirt for  _ one more _ day to help lessen the pain.

Regina quietly padded over to her bed and snuggled under her comforter. As she settled in Janis flipped back over, facing out to the room. Regina took a long look at the peaceful girl.  _ Fuck _ . Why did Janis have to be so beautiful? Why’d it take her dumb ass so  _ long _ to admit to herself that Janis was so beautiful and perfect? Idiot.  _ Fucking _ idiot.

Regina let out a long sigh and took out her phone. It was time to tell Gretchen everything. She had kind of forgotten in the aftermath of telling the Super Crew. She was so one edge for the last two weeks with that  _ flirting _ shit Syd pulled that she kind of forgot that she hadn’t told Gretchen yet.

**9:37am Regina:** Hey do you have time to talk today? I have something important to tell you.

She swiped over to Snapchat and looked through everyone's stories while continuing her consumption of saltines. Right as she opened the ninth story a soft voice came from the other bed.

“Reg?” Janis’s voice was still thick with sleep. Regina took a deep breath and looked over at Janis. “How are you feeling?” The brunette asked.

Time for a brave face. It felt like Regina’s heart was going to shatter as she spoke. “Jan  _ thank god _ you’re up. What _ happened _ last night? The last thing I remember was walking into the bar and then  _ nothing _ until I woke up.” Regina said, managing to keep her voice from cracking. She shook her head to herself trying to sell it. Her breath caught in her throat as Janis paled.  _ Oh no _ oh god. Regina’s heart raced. She  _ couldn’t _ do this.

“I don’t know either. The last thing I remember was walking down the ramp at Bubba’s when we first got there.” Janis said, chuckling as she averted her gaze. 

“Wow damn. Well I guess we know that… ten?”

“Yep ten.”

“Ten Smirnoffs is a little too much for us.” Regina said, forcing a short laugh out of her lungs.

“Yeah I’ve learned my lesson. On the upside it looks like we made it back safe and I  _ don’t _ smell any puke. So for blacking out I think we did really well. Wait  _ shit _ did everyone get back okay?” Janis quickly scrambled for her phone.

“Yeah I got a text from Syd saying that everyone made it back and the Art Gang came back to the Phil.” Regina laughed as she watched Janis’s face turn beet red. “You okay over there Jan?”

“I-um-yeah- is that my shirt?” Janis said, pointing to Regina.

It was Regina’s turn to blush. “Oh-uh-yeah sorry it’s from when I puked. I forgot to wash it and I was looking for something comfy when I got out of the shower and-”

“Hey don’t worry about it. It’s a recovery day. We should be comfy.” Janis said, getting up out of bed. Damn, the brunette had actually managed to change her clothes. Regina watched her crush stretch her arms over her head and yawn the biggest yawn. She went up on her tiptoes and rocked back onto her heels.  _ Fuck _ she was gorgeous. Even hungover and half asleep. “I’m gonna go take a shower. I smell like cheap beer and cigs. You want to watch a movie when I get back?”

“With  _ what _ TV?” Regina replied.

“We have  _ laptops _ Reg. Duh.” Janis rolled her eyes.

“And what? We’re going to sit at your  _ desk _ and watch it?” Regina scoffed. 

“No jackass. We’ll watch it like we’ve  _ always _ watched movies.” Janis said turning her head to the side and smiling.

Regina took a second to process what she meant. Oh  _ hell _ no. Regina couldn’t handle that. Not today. “Jan that was when we were like  _ twelve _ .” 

“Who cares? You seemed  _ perfectly _ fine spending like an entire hour on  _ my lap _ last night while we pregamed. It’s like the  _ same _ thing minus the alcohol and adding a movie.” Janis smirked. 

Regina wanted to jump out the window. What the  _ fuck _ was Janis pulling? Was she?  _ Nooo _ . Janis didn’t know how to do that.  _ At least _ not when she’s sober. She was  _ just _ making a point. “Okay fine. But  _ I _ get to choose.”

“That’s fine with me. You’ve got like an hour and a half to pick. I need to do some laundry too while I have the motivation.” Regina watched the girl gather her things and head for the door.

“Hey if we’re doing this like when we were  _ twelve _ I call little spoon.” Regina called to Janis. She felt her phone start to vibrate.

The brunette popped her head back from the foyer. She gave a gentle smile. “As you wish.” She said softly. A sadness came over her face as her eyes dropped and she turned away. Regina listened carefully for the sound of a door shutting or a shower being turned on. 

When Regina looked down at her phone she had just missed Gretchen’s FaceTime. The blonde immediately pressed the return button. As soon as Gretchen’s face popped up with a gentle smile Regina just started rambling. “Gretch Babe I’m sorry for the random text on Sunday of all days. I know you’re normally studying and stuff and this shouldn’t take too long. And I’m sorry in advance that this is coming  _ late _ . I meant to tell you like two weeks ago but things got really stressful and I-”

“Regina stop.” Gretchen's gentle but stern voice came from the screen. Regina listened and tried to stay calm. Maybe she should have called Karen first to ask her about the rule of twos. All she wanted to do was  _ tell _ someone about her decision and figure out if it was the right thing. This would be  _ a lot _ to put on Gretchen. “Thank you. Lovie it’s okay. Stuff gets in the way and it’s okay that it’s a Sunday. I’ll always make time for you.”

“You’re too good to me.” Regina said with a shaky voice. “After  _ all _ the shit I did to you.” Regina felt tears coming down her cheeks. All her thoughts about the monster she used to be swirled in her head. 

“Lovie we’ve been  _ over _ this. I forgive you. We know some of why you lashed out and some of it is still a mystery that I will  _ gladly _ wait for you to discover. Regina you’ve made such amazing strides. Don’t you  _ dare _ put yourself down. What’s going one Love? Why are you crying? What can I do to help?” Gretchen’s voice was gentle and concerned. The brunette was a blessing. The mom friend to all.

“Gretch I… I’m g- I’m… I’m gay Gretch. I’m gay and  _ floundering _ like a super gay  _ useless _ fish.” Regina’s last few words almost unheard as she buried her face in her knees. 

“Regina  _ Blaire _ look at me please.” Gretchen said in a motherly tone. Regina obeyed, resting her chin on her knees. “Thank you for listening. And thank you for sharing this with me Lovie. I’m so proud of you. Also know that this doesn’t change our friendship at all. I love you no matter what. When did you figure this out?”

Regina took in a shaky breath. Fucking hell how did she end up with such amazing friends when she had been so awful? “Three weeks ago. I… I figured it out because I finally realized that I had feelings for… Janis. Which I think you already had an inkling about. Am I right? I talked to Karen first and got the rule of two which just confirmed everything. Also you’re so  _ chill _ about this. How?”

Gretchen smiled softly at the blonde. “I did think that this would eventually come up. Being gay. In high school things popped up every once in a while that reminded me of past obvious signs. I would see you staring an  _ extra long _ time at girls and I’ve had queer people -which I will elaborate on another time- in my life since I was young so I recognized things. Plus of course your friendship with Janis was the obvious sign when we were in middle school. Now the Janis thing, yes I did know. If you’ve talked to Kar then you’ve probably heard about your wedding plans.” Gretchen giggled while Regina rolled her eyes but smiled. “But Janis being your actual gay awakening I thought would require the right circumstances… And then you told us you were roommates and I thought ‘Wow this is going to be  _ very _ interesting.’ Have you told her how you feel yet? Well now that I think about how the conversation started I’m assuming no.”

“That is correct. I have not and will not be telling Jan about my feelings.” Regina said.

“But why? It’s so  _ obvious _ she feels the same way about you.” Gretchen said in a matter of fact tone. 

“Gretch-” Regina was surprised by the bluntness. “How did you know she feels the same way? Did she  _ tell _ you?” Regina’s heart raced.

“She doesn’t need to tell me Lovie. Every time we’ve talked for like the last  _ month and a half _ , I’ve I ask ‘How’s everything going with Regina? Are you guys getting along?’ and that poor girl’s reaction is always some short sentence saying it’s good but she’s blushing like  _ crazy _ and can’t keep her voice in one octave. And if I ask her  _ why _ she’s blushing she either figures a way to change the subject or will lie and say she has to go. You’ve done the same thing in the last few weeks as well.” Gretchen gave her pointed look for a brief moment before returning to a gentle look. “Regina it’s so obvious that  _ both _ of you like each other that it baffles me that nothing has happened between you two yet. I thought the alcohol would have pushed you two into  _ something _ by now.”

“Well… um that’s the other reason I wanted to talk to you.” Regina said nervously.

“Regina.” Gretchen’s face shifted to something the blonde wasn’t used to. She almost looked irritated? The Jewish Princess took a deep breath. “Tell me what happened.”

Regina was suddenly very nervous. She’d  _ never _ seen Gretchen react to her this way. “Um well last night Janis and I kissed.” The blonde watched the brunette on her screen. Her face had gone blank.

“Is that the  _ only _ thing that happened?” Gretchen said evenly. She must have been waiting for Regina to tell her everything to reveal her feelings.

Regina gulped. “Um well that’s that how the night ended. We actually made out for a minute or two against a wall in our room. Everything sort of started because the Phil girls and I went shopping and then essentially had an intervention and told me I needed to shoot my shot because watching the two of us dance around our feelings was getting  _ painful _ . So when I got back I like immediately started flirting with her and may have used the tickle tactic to tell me why she was lying about something. Then everyone came to our room and we started drinking and after like four drinks I just plopped into her  _ lap _ and stayed there until we went to the bar. And once we got to the bar and danced as a group until a more suggestive song came on and I  _ might _ have started grinding on her and then we danced like that for a while. But then Only Exception came on and she spun me around and I thought I was going to  _ melt _ into the floor. We just swayed there talking and I told her that I lied about liking someone else.”

“ _ Wait _ . When did you tell her you liked someone else?” Gretchen asked, sounding shocked.

“When I first came out to her. I almost told her then by accident but told her I liked our friend Syd. But last night I told her I lied. I asked her who she liked because she had told me  _ she _ liked someone earlier. I thought it might be Syd but she said it wasn’t and said the girl was  _ way _ out of her league. When we were almost back to our room, I pressed a little bit more about the girl she liked and she essentially was like ‘I’m not hot enough.’ so I told her she was wrong and that she was hot. When I saw how flustered she got something just erupted in me and I decided I was going to kiss her. Fuck who am I kidding I wanted to do  _ way more _ than that. But she stopped me because she’s  _ perfect _ and reminded me I don’t do that stuff when I’m drunk. My drunk brain wanted a kiss  _ so bad _ so I asked for one kiss. She was hesitant but also said she’d give up her  _ painting _ arm to kiss me. And just when I thought she was to push me away  _ she _ kissed me. Janis Sarkisian kissed  _ me _ and it was perfect. It felt like a dream. When it was over I told her that I felt like I had waited a lifetime to do that. Cringy I know. Then I hopped in bed while she went to the bathroom and knocked out.” Regina let a long breath out. As she looked closer at Gretchen she could tell she was trying to suppress some sort of negative emotion. It made the blonde uneasy.

“Regina, why am I not hearing a finishing sentence like ‘And then we woke up and talked about it and now we’re dating.’ What did you  _ do _ when you both woke up.” Gretchen seemed  _ mad _ which Regina wasn’t used to.

“Um-I-uh-I-I lied to her and told her I blacked out and didn’t remember anything after walking into the bar.” Regina looked away.

Gretchen was silent for a moment. The way Gretchen’s voice built in volume as each word came sent a shiver down Regina’s spine. “Regina you have done some  _ stupid _ things in your lifetime. But  _ this _ … This may be the  _ stupidest _ thing you have  _ ever _ done to yourself.” Gretchen’s eyes burned with fury.

“ _ What _ ?!” Regina gasped. “Gretchen what the  _ fuck _ does that mean?!” 

“Regina, are you  _ kidding _ me? You  _ finally _ got what you wanted. Why the  _ hell _ did you lie? I don’t understand!” Gretchen’s tone was a mixture of anger and disappointment. 

“Because I’m a fucking  _ monster _ Gretchen! Janis deserves  _ better _ than me! All I’ve  _ ever _ done is bring this girl pain. I don’t  _ deserve _ her! I need to  _ protect _ her!” The blonde yelled.

“She’s forgiven you! She  _ kissed _ you. She said she’d give up her painting arm. You guys had this huge reconciliation! It was all you talked about for like an entire  _ week _ in our group chat with Karen. You were  _ so _ happy. And you definitely haven’t  _ only _ brought her pain. Why are you acting like you didn’t spend  _ nine years _ of friendship bliss with her before Korey came along and ruined it?  _ Nine _ .  _ Years _ . Regina!” Gretchen’s last sentence punched each word.

“That doesn't matter! I gave into Korey and then became a  _ hateful _ bitch!” Regina retorted.

“You’re  _ not _ like that anymore! If you had stayed the same after that bus hit you, we  _ wouldn’t _ be talking. I promised myself, my parents, my therapist, and Karen that if you came back and were the same I would  _ leave _ your life. I waited the  _ whole _ rest of Junior year and part of the summer for you to mess up and turn back into a-” Gretchen used air quotes as she said her next word. “-monster again. Which you  _ didn’t _ . Also you  _ never _ were one in the first place! The only thing in you that came close to being  _ monstrous _ was your self hatred.”

“Stop  _ lying _ to me Gretchen!” Regina couldn’t hide the quiver in her voice.

“The only person that is lying is  _ you _ ! You’re lying to yourself because you’re  _ scared _ of getting hurt by the person you love the most. This has been  _ building _ since before you two even knew what love was! God the way you two  _ looked _ at each other and the way you both look when talking about each other to me  _ now _ . I would give up  _ I don’t even know what _ to have a chance at what you two have!” Gretchen yelled.

“I’m not scared of getting hurt. I have to protect her Gretch! Pursuing this would be selfish!” Regina’s voice cracked.

“How  _ the fuck _ does that even make sense?!” Gretchen nearly screamed. Regina was shocked. Well she was shocked about most of this conversation but Gretchen  _ never _ said fuck. “Why are you acting like you’re the  _ only _ one that has a say in this? Has it not occurred to you that Janis might be  _ perfectly _ aware that there’s a chance that she could get hurt but she’s choosing to say ‘I don’t care.’ because there’s also a chance that she could end up  _ unbelievably _ happy? Your choice to  _ lie _ is selfish! You’re not giving her a choice in the matter when she  _ should _ be given one.”

“I-I-I’m-” Regina could feel the last threads of stability leaving. “-so  _ scared _ of hurting her Gretch. I don’t know what I’d do if I did it again.” The blonde hid her face in her knees again as tears streamed down her face. 

“Lovie I don’t think you’re capable of that anymore. Not the way you’ve done it before. You are a  _ different _ person Regina. Hell you’re not even a different person, you’re just your old  _ wonderful _ self. Before the fear took over.”

“But I-” 

“No Regina. You are  _ not _ a monster. You never were. Lovie  _ please _ believe me.” Gretchen’s tone and expression shifted. Gentle motherly Gretchen had returned. “Monsters wouldn’t be doing this, worrying about another person’s feelings so strongly that they’d give up something they so  _ obviously _ want. I won’t lie to you, she could get hurt but only in the same way that  _ she _ could hurt you.”

“What do you mean?” The blonde was so confused.

“The only way I can see either of you hurting the other in a romantic relationship is if it just doesn’t work out, if you two were to break up. And before you say anything, you’re  _ both _ capable of it. Anything you’re thinking that could be done wrong by you in the relationship she could do it too. Also you keep saying you don’t  _ deserve _ her. That’s not your choice. That’s  _ her _ choice. But also I think deserve is misused in love. I don’t think people  _ deserve _ or  _ earn _ love. It’s about giving it and accepting. You choose who to give the love that has blossomed in you to, and they decide to accept it or not. Then they’ll do the same to you. That’s all. Bringing the idea of whether you or someone else deserves love is weird to me. When I think about deserving something I think of something I’ve worked for. Like I deserve ice cream because I worked so hard on a project. I just don’t think you work for someone’s love. The feeling of love shouldn't require work. Relationships can require work but your feelings don’t. Just  _ feel _ them Lovie.” The brunette said, giving the blonde a gentle smile.

Regina let Gretchen’s word set it. She also tried to process Gretchen yelling at her. Even though it was confusing and oddly scary, in a way she was also proud. Gretchen had really grown stronger and more confident. It made the blonde so happy. The brunette was so sure in her words. She never faltered as she spoke. Gretchen was right. What she said was right. Regina needed to give this a chance. Throwing this away to protect Janis without even letting Janis participate was as Gretchen had said,  _ stupid _ . “You’re right Beebee.” Regina said quietly. “God you’re right. I can’t  _ believe _ I lied to her. I just got so scared and lied. And what’s worse is that she  _ actually _ doesn’t remember.”

“I’m sorry  _ what _ ?” Gretchen scoffed.

“Once I told her I didn’t remember she told me she didn’t remember either.” Regina said panicking.

“I bet you  _ all _ of my family’s stock in toaster strudel that is a lie. God you guys are so useless. It’s infuriating.” Gretchen said while pinching the bridge of her nose.

“Yeah I could tell. You said fuck.” Regina giggled.

“What?” Gretchen gasped. “I did?”   
  


“Yeah.” Regina cackled, finally feeling the tension leaving her body. “And I guess you could be right about her lying. When I said I forgot she got  _ really _ pale. Plus I think she was  _ actually _ flirting with me when she was leaving to shower and do laundry.”

“Oh  _ really _ ?” Gretchen wiggled her eyebrows. 

“Yeah and then she asked if I wanted to watch a movie. When I responded with how she was like the way we used to. Meaning  _ cuddled up _ on a comfy surface somewhere. Fucking  _ hell _ Gretch how the  _ fuck _ am I going to tell her I lied again while cuddled up on a bed with her? Do I just kiss her and say  _ oops _ I lied, wanna bang?”

“Well what movie are you watching and are you big or little spoon? There’s  _ so many _ ways you could use a romantic part of a movie to just start a conversation or just go in for a kiss depending on how you’re cuddling.” Gretchen said excitedly.

“Well she’s letting me pick and I called little spoon -oh which reminds me she keeps saying this cute little phrase to me. I made her promise me that she’d tell me what it meant but  _ of course _ that happened at the bar. And I realized that she’s only said it when I’ve asked for things. It’s odd but when she says it, it makes my heart race.” Regina said, sounding giddy by the last sentence.

“What’s she saying?” Gretchen’s voice filled with curiosity.

“As you wish.” Regina sighed. 

Gretchen blinked a few times at the blonde. “Do you  _ not _ know what that’s from?”

“No.  _ Wait _ , it's from something?” Regina was shocked.

“You useless uncultured lesbian.” Gretchen sighed, rolling her eyes goodnaturedly.

“What’s it from?!” Regina nearly yelled.

“It’s from the movie The Princess Bride! That’s the movie you’re watching. No I’m  _ not _ telling you the context of the quote and do  _ NOT _ watch it before Janis gets there. Also don’t let Janis try to get out of watching it. She  _ will _ try. Use old tactics if you have to. Just sit down and watch it with her. Lovie I promise you it’s a good thing and it will  _ absolutely _ open up an opportunity to talk about last night.” Gretchen said confidently.

“Really?”

“Yes! Also figure out an excuse for why you picked Princess Bride without mentioning that I suggested it. If Karen’s suggested it too, leave her out of the reason as well. Jan will just fight you  _ more _ if she knew it came from me or her. And remember do  _ not _ watch it without her. I-”

There was knocking on what Regina assumed was Gretchen’s dorm room door. “Hey Gretchen are you ready to head to the Quad?” A deep voice came.

“I’ll be out in a minute Barry.” Gretchen called. Regina noticed that ever present nervousness that the brunette’s voice got around cute boys.

“Okay!” Came the voice again.

“Who’s  _ that _ ?” Regina asked, quirking an eyebrow.

Gretchen blushed a deep red. “Barry, my chem lab partner that’s all.”

“Gretch Beebee, you  _ do _ realize I can still see blush through a camera right?” Regina laughed.

“Whatever…” Gretchen huffed. “He is very nice and cute. But we’re  _ just _ going to get some coffee and then study for our Chem test tomorrow.”

“Oh  _ cool _ .” Regina said with a smirk. “Let me know when he asks you out.”

“Sure.  _ Three weeks _ after it happens.” Gretchen said in a fake annoyed tone.

“Oh my god. Such  _ sass _ from you today. I like it.” Regina laughed. “Alright Beebee I’ll let you go and  _ study _ with Barbar. Love you.” Regina said while scrunching her nose

Gretchen rolled her eyes before smiling. “Love you too Lovie.” She said, also scrunching her nose. “Bye.”

“Bye.” Regina smiled as she pressed the end button. She flopped on the bed and started thinking about Gretchen’s movie suggestions and instructions. She had so many questions. What the  _ fuck _ was with this movie. Was she  _ really _ that uncultured? Fuck she hoped this movie wasn’t absolute crap. She went into all her streaming platforms and found it on Disney+ and decided that she’d just say it came up as a suggestion. The summary seemed a little odd but if Gretchen thought it would help her tell Janis how she felt she’d watch it  _ a million _ times.

She looked at her phone and realized she still had about an hour until Janis would be done with everything. So the blonde went about planning how to tell Janis that she lied. She worried that the girl would be mad but then remember Gretchen thinking that Janis had  _ also _ lied. The flirting Janis did also put her at ease. She pulled out her laptop and fussed with where to put it and decided to just put it on her desk. Then she arranged all her pillows in something she thought Janis would find comfortable. She looked in the mirror and fused with her hair a little. She saw her eyes were red and put a couple eye drops in to clear them. 

With still half an hour to go Regina decided that she’d brush her teeth again. As she came out from the bathroom she heard the door to the basement opening. Her heart thudded in her chest as Janis came into view. 

“Oh hey.” Regina tried to say casually. “Laundry done?”

“Nah I got bored down there. I’ll just leave the stuff in the dryer and go back when we’re done with the movie.” Janis said. The girls walked down the hall toward their room in silence. “So what movie did you pick?” Janis asked, as Regina opened their door.

“The Princess Bride? It came up as a suggestion on my Disney+ and I’ve never seen it but it looked cool. Have you seen it?” Regina asked, trying to contain the giddiness in her voice. When the blonde glanced over at the brunette she was  _ beet red _ and looked very nervous.

“Uh-um-yeah but it’s like a  _ really _ dumb. I don’t think you’d like it. It’s really  _ campy _ and shit and I mean  _ obnoxiously _ silly and stuff.” Janis said in an almost frantic tone. 

Regina fought the urge to smirk. “I’m feeling pretty silly today so that sounds great.” The blonde said smoothly.

Janis let out a little nervous laugh. It was adorable. “Well there’s like  _ horrible _ dumb dialog. It’s  _ very _ dated. It just doesn’t seem like something up your alley. How about 10 Things I Hate About You? That still has to be one your  _ favs _ right?” Gretchen was  _ not _ kidding when she said that Janis would fight it.

“We can watch that after Jan, come  _ on _ . I already set everything up.” Regina grabbed Janis’s hand and gave it a good tug. The brunette stumbled into the blonde’s arms and Regina took the opportunity to wrap her arms around Janis’s waist. Once the blonde had her captured she whipped out the pout. “Janjan,  _ why _ are you being difficult?  _ You _ said  _ I _ could pick.” Regina put the nail in the coffin with a combination attack of her gentle whine and eyelash batting. 

Janis looked at her dead in the eyes. Regina watched the brunette bite her bottom lip ever so lightly. She was thinking. About what, the blonde couldn’t tell. She felt Janis take a deep breath. “As you wish.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Leave a comment if you wish or hit up my ask box on the Tumblr!
> 
> https://why-do-i-like-you-ya-dumb-bean.tumblr.com/


	15. FaceTime Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh hello there. It's been a while. Oop.
> 
> So if you don't remember where "I can fix that" is in reference to reread painting Old Main scene from Chapter 8.
> 
> This baby is nearly 8500 words. Buckle up buttercup.

Janis walked out the door feeling a mixture of confidence and anxiety. She just  _ flirted _ with Regina George sober. Like legitimately flirted and made the former queen bee blush. Janis did a little victory dance down the hall toward the stairs to the basement. She patted herself on the back for her quick thinking when Regina had caught her blushing at her phone. Syd sent her a text at some point after leaving Bubba’s last night ‘Have fun putting those fine motor skills to good work booboo ;)’ Janis felt a heat pooling in her lower stomach.  _ Fuck _ . Whatever. Now all she had to do was put some laundry in the washer, come up and shower, go back down and move it to the dryer, wait for it to be done, and then go cuddle with Regina. She only had to wait just over ninety minutes for that last part. She made a quick pit stop in the bathroom to change into her robe.

Janis gleefully smiled to herself as she woofed her laundry down three flights of stairs. Ninety minutes. She could do it. And she could flirt again in the way she did before. She could be confident  _ and _ smooth. She wouldn’t fumble over her words and blush. And why was that? Because Regina George felt  _ the same _ way as her. Just because she didn’t remember her actions from last night didn’t mean those feelings were magically gone. She thought about holding the blonde close to her for approximately two hours. The heat just got worse as her mind wandered around last night. Regina’s body against hers was like being on cloud nine. 

After putting her laundry in Janis flopped into a chair for a moment and really thought about the heat building and migrating in her. Was she  _ really _ more turned on thinking about the memory of dancing and just kissing Regina more than  _ actual _ an memory of sex? She thought about her fling with Kylie and it was amazing. Janis got lucky having Kylie as her first sexual partner. The girl had actual experience unlike Janis who had only internet observations to go off of. It helped that Kylie had a year of college under her belt as well. The silver haired girl was very patient with Janis while her confidence grew. The older girl gladly answered her worried questions of if she was doing it right and would kindly tell Janis if what she was doing felt good or not. Kylie also hammered home how important it was for  _ Janis _ to communicate what she liked. When they first started sleeping together Janis would say what Kylie did was amazing, even on the few occasions it wasn’t. That was until Kylie purposefully poked Janis’s back dimples, which the brunette had let slip were very ticklish, that Janis finally said wasn’t a fan of that. They then had a longer conversation about what she liked and didn’t. From there the fling got even better, until of course the one time she drank before college. Kylie ended it the next day but was pretty nice about the whole thing. They both really respected each other as artists and only wanted the best for the other. They followed each other on Instagram still and they liked all of each other’s art things.

Janis cast her mind to the night Kylie had somehow pulled three orgasms out of Janis in ten minutes and the heat that had been brewing in her low stomach quickly shifted and settled between her legs.  _ Fuck _ that was a bad idea. Getting turned on in the laundry room was stupid. Getting turned on only an hour or so before having Regina between her was an even worse idea. Regina between her legs? Oh fucking  _ hell _ that sound amazing. Janis groaned to herself as the heat only got worse. Why did her mind  _ always _ have to go in that direction?

But her suspicions were confirmed. She really enjoyed herself with Kylie but it was probably all the long standing emotions and sexual tension with Regina that had her body more fired up by some grinding and a two minute kiss than actual sex. As she climbed the stairs back to the bathroom when a thought occurred to her. She could always…  _ No _ no someone could come in. But if she was quiet… No  _ no _ it’s too risky. What if it was someone she knew? Oh god what if  _ Regina _ came in? 

The heat only got worse at the thought of Regina hearing Janis taking care of her problem. God what was wrong with her? No  _ no _ no. She would be fine. Janis was just going to take a cold shower. A  _ very _ cold shower. The coldest shower in the  _ history _ of woman. She would think about regular  _ non _ sexual things. As Janis turned on the water she started searching for innocent thoughts but her brain was just playing sexual word association. Painting. Painting people. Painting naked people. Naked Regina. Naked Regina in Janis’s bed.  _ Fuck _ . She tried again as the water got warmer. Animals. Cute small animals. Pets. Cats. Pussy cats. Pus- _ FUCK _ . The water was ready. Janis rolled her eyes and cursed herself for her one track mind today. Fuck it. She needed to take care of it here or the movie was going to be _ torture _ . 

Janis hopped in the shower and became very nervous. She wasn’t loud per se but with no doors and no other sound, if someone were to hear they might be freaked out. Wait. Janis reached out of the shower, grabbed her phone, and turned Spotify on. There. The brunette allowed the warm water to sink into her body as she thought about what she should do first. God, why was she thinking about the technicalities when the thought of Regina sitting on her lap facing her with  _ very _ little clothes on was already dancing in her head. Janis thought about how she’d pull the girl into a heated kiss and slowly kiss down her neck leaving hickies in her wake. The blonde would either love or  _ hate _ that. Janis dipped her hand down south as she imagined the sounds Regina would make under her practiced fingers and mouth. Jesus  _ christ _ . Janis bit her lip silencing what was trying to escape her lips. The memory of Regina on top of her from last night before they started drinking flashed into her mind and a whole new image flashed into her head. Fucking  _ fuck _ fuck. Janis doubled her efforts causing a gasp to escape her lips. Her free hand flew up to her mouth as she felt her release very quickly approaching. She kept her hand firmly over her mouth as still allowing her mind to wander farther and farther. Just as her fantasy progressed to taking Regina’s bra off Janis’s legged buckled and couldn’t stop a strangled moan from coming out. She let her body lean back against the wall and let out a breath of relief. 

The rest of her shower went by quickly. When she finished she brushed her teeth, got dressed, and ran down the stairs to move her laundry. Just sixty more minutes and she’d be cuddled up with Regina in her arms just like they always used to do. She thought back to when Regina had kissed her cheek and smiled. Maybe that would happen again. 

Suddenly anxiety rose in her. Jesus christ  _ how _ was she going to flirt with her. The conversation just sort of went there. She did choose the movie idea for the purpose of cuddles. She had taken the chance of rejection and had conquered it. She smirked to herself thinking about the way her voice had  _ dripped _ with confidence when she reminded Regina that she seemed fine on her lap last night. She hadn’t seen the blonde blush like that since  _ middle school _ . Janis chuckled to herself but still felt the pull of anxiety. How was she going to flirt if they were watching the movie. She didn’t want to get all touchy even though that was all they did last night. It didn’t feel right to her. There was still that ever present deep rooted fear of being seen as predatory. What the  _ fuck _ was she going to do?! Wait for another time for them to be drunk but less so? But then again the next time they’d both be drinking was Halloween and she knew she’d probably drink  _ more _ than she did last night. Nielsen’s sorority girls had invited the Super Crew to a Halloween party they were hosting with their brother fraternity. She might  _ actually _ black out at that party if she’s not careful. Barb’s older brother was in the frat and Barb said they make crazy strong jungle juice. Fuck. How the fuck was she going to flirt with Regina during the  _ stupid _ movie?! 

Janis groaned regretting the idea. She should have just asked her breakfast and done flirty things there. Maybe hold her hand the whole way down. Tell her she looked cute in her shirt. Dammit that’s what she  _ should’ve _ done. She flopped in a chair. Fifty-seven more minutes. A thought occurred to Janis. She wiped out her phone and pressed Damian’s FaceTime icon. After one ring Damian’s face popped up with a smirk.

“ _ Please _ tell me I was right.” He said cockily.

“Do the thing that lets us have Cady on too.”

“But-”

“Cady  _ first _ then I’ll talk.”

Damian rolled his eyes but in a few seconds Cady’s beaming face popped up. “Were we right?! Tell us we were right!”

“Before I talk I’m putting our no interruptions rule into effect.” Janis said sternly, giving the two a pointed look. Both of them pouted at Janis but nodded in agreement. Janis took a deep breath. “Yes, you two assholes  _ were _ right. Regina George  _ likes _ me back. Last night, after she  _ sat on my lap _ while we pregamed and grinded on me at the bar to sexy songs for  _ who knows _ how long and slow danced with me to Only Exception and called me hot  _ right to my face _ when getting back to our room and then  _ pretty much _ pinned me to our wall… I couldn’t take it any longer and kissed her and  _ she _ kissed me back and we made out against our wall and it felt forever and just one second all at the same time… I’m now accepting comments and questions.”

Damian and Cady stared at Janis for a moment before screaming at their phones. From what Janis could tell Damian was taking a victory around his room. Cady was definitely starfishing and flailing on her bed. 

“So are you guys dating now?” Cady yell asked.

“I’m going to be your best man right?” Damian said cheerfully.

“Hey I still think we should  _ share _ .” The blue eyed girl responded in a salty tone.

“You told Janis she was going to be  _ your _ maid of honor so you can’t also be her’s!” Damian said sticking out his tongue. 

“But she’s going to be your best woman! You can’t have  _ both _ while I can’t. That’s not fair!” Cady whined.

“Woah  _ woah _ there kids that’s an argument for a different day.” Janis said, whipping out her mom voice. The pair quieted down as they both processed the sadness on Janis’s face. “No we’re not dating. She… she blackout just as we got to the bar so all she really remembers is sitting on my lap but we haven’t really talked about it. I woke up and the first thing she asked was what happened last night.”

“What did you tell her?” Damian asked.

“I lied and said I didn’t remember either.” Janis said looking down.

“But Janis why? You remembered. You should have told her what happened.” Cady said.

“I couldn’t bring myself to tell her. It was the last thing I expected and I was still half asleep when she said it to me. I got scared she’d think it went further which would be very out of character for her and could make her think that I took advantage of her.” Janis said honestly.

“So what are you going to do now?” Damian asked gently.

“Well I told myself that I was going to flirt with her. She pretty much said that she had feelings for me so  _ all _ I have to do is get the guts to make a move sober.” The brunette responded nervously.

“What did she say? Oh my  _ god _ was it super cute?” Cady asked, smiling.

Janis felt blush on her cheeks. "Well  _ before _ we kissed and I was still denying the fact that she liked me and I told her she hadn't definitively told me who she liked and she said ‘You know who I like it’s been the same person since I was three.” Janis said. Damian and Cady squealed in response. “And then  _ after _ we kissed she said ' I feel like I’ve been waiting a lifetime to kiss you. It was worth the wait.'” Janis covered her facing thinking about the corny yet absolutely endearing line. It had been playing in her mind since she woke up. 

“Oh my god Regina George is a secret sap! I  _ can’t _ handle this it’s just  _ too _ gay and  _ too _ cute!” Damian sighed, flailing onto his back.

“I can’t believe she blackout!” Cady yelled.

“I know.” Janis whined, sinking further into the chair. “But this is why I need _ both _ of your minds. I need to figure out  _ how _ to flirt with her again sober. I did right before leaving to do laundry."

"Oh is that what you're doing? It looks like you're in a dungeon." Cady inquired.

"Yeah that's what most of the basement looks like. Phillips is like over a hundred years old." Janis said.

"Oooo that sounds  _ creepy _ as hell. Have you seen any ghosts?" The boy asked excitedly.

"I haven't but people say we have a bunch of ghosts in here and all over campus." Janis said, growing impatient.

"Oh oh when we come visit next semester can we go ghost hunting?!" Damian asked, practically begging.

Janis rolled her eyes. "You can go with Syd and Olivia and Barb, but I'm not going. It's a waste of time."

"Boo you whore." He whined.

"Deal with it! Now _ help me _ not be a useless lesbian! When my laundry's done I'm going back to my room to watch a movie with her and we will be cuddling! It was my idea of flirting and now I don't know what to do. I ACTUALLY FLIRTED BUT NOW I'M STUCK BECAUSE I PULLED IT OUT OF MY ASS! I DON’T ACTUALLY KNOW HOW! HOW TO DO CUDDLE  _ AND _ FLIRT?!" Janis yelled, panicking thinking more about her proposition. It was a horrible idea. Well not really horrible but just gay panic inducing.

“Okay okay down girl. We can figure this out. There’s three of us and we’ve all had some romantic experience with people. It can’t be  _ that _ hard.” Damian said confidently before falling silent. Cady was dead silent as well.

“Have any of us ever flirted like  _ normal _ people?” Janis asked.

“Umm yeah I did.” Cady said nervously. Both Damian and Janis raised an eyebrow at the caramel haired girl. “Okay maybe not  _ completely _ normal but at least I  _ tried _ and I got a boyfriend from it!” Cady huffed.

“You did the best out of all of us hun.” Damian said reassuringly. But suddenly his face changed. He was thinking something was fishy, Janis knew that face anywhere. “Janis babe I have a question.”

“Ask away.” Janis was a little nervous.

“How much did you drink last night?”

“I had ten Smirnoff Ices.” Janis stated. What did that have anything to do with the conversation?

“How much did  _ Regina _ have?”

“The same? Why?” Janis was very confused

Damian rolled his eyes so hard Janis thought they might get stuck that way. Cady was also giving Janis the ‘really?’ look.

“What the fuck are those  _ faces _ for?” Janis asked defensively. 

“Regina George blackout from ten Ices and you  _ didn’t _ ?” Damian’s voice oozing sass. “I smell bullshit.”

“ _ What? _ ” Did Janis hear him right? 

“Yeah same. Regina can drink a lot. I’ve never heard about her blacking out. And Janis I’ve seen her drink way more than that.” Cady stated.

“Well maybe her body just got overwhelmed by everything and she forgot.”

“Ooor she’s lying.” Damian said.

“She wouldn’t lie! We’re so open with each other now. She said we’d talk about it in the morning.” Janis said nearing an angry tone.

“Janis… I’m with Damian on this one. It doesn’t make any sense. It’s not like she drinks like that a lot when she’s challenged she can probably drink twice as much and only be hungover.” Cady said gently.

“B-but I don’t understand. S-she said-she looked so h-happy.” Janis stammered out, feeling tears pricking at the edges of her eyes. Could Regina really have lied? Were her first thoughts right? Did Regina really just use her to get that first kiss out of the way?

“Oh honey I didn’t mean to upset you.” Damian’s voice was full of regret. “Her lying doesn’t mean it’s malicious. I’m sorry for making it sound that way.  _ But _ if it is malicious I’m taking my rickety ass car for that five hundred fifty mile drive to _ kill _ her. But maybe she’s just scared. I feel like that’s the more logical thing. She was in the closet for so long.”

“Yeah but  _ how _ are we supposed to find that out?!” Janis said, unable to hide the combination of sadness and anger.

Damian rubbed his chin for a moment before gasping. “I know _ exactly _ what to do! I’m getting Karen and we’re getting the rule of twos.”

“Wait Daim-” Janis tried but before she could finish her sentence Karen was on the screen.

“Good morning everyone!” Karen said, who appeared to still be in bed.

“Hey Karen!” Damian and Cady said.

“Kar I need you to settle something really quick.” Damian said dramatically.

“Does it have to do with Regina?” Karen asked nonchalantly.

“How do you  _ do _ that?!” Janis squawked.

“Janis you look very distressed and Damian always has that tone when he’s asking something on your behalf. And the only thing that really sends you into a panicked state now is when you’re confronting your non platonic feelings for Regina.” Karen said, shrugging.

Janis gaped at the blonde. The brunette truly wondered if Karen was psychic. 

“Well Karbear you’re _ right _ on track I need you to confirm a probable lie that Regina told Janis. Would drinking ten Smirnoff Ices cause Regina to black out?” Damian asked.

Karen paused like the loading bar in her brain froze. She then began uncontrollably cackling. “That’s  _ defo _ a lie.” Karen began wheezing. “Regina can drink more than most of the  _ boys _ we went to high school with. On time she and Jason Weems had an Ice drinking contest and Regina beat him by like  _ five _ and she remembered everything. They both went into the twenties that night. She might not always hold it  _ down _ but that girl has never forgotten a night of drinking  _ ever _ . Ten is will definitely get her drunk but there’s absolutely  _ no way _ she would forget anything.”

“Cool that’s what I thought.” Damian said with a worried look. “But Kar we don’t know why.”

“Did you guys finally have sex?” Karen’s voice was calm.

“No!” Janis said frantically, turning red. “We  _ just _ kissed that’s all. We were too drunk to do that. It wouldn’t have been right.”

“The kiss was  _ after _ Regina spent time on Jan’s lap and sexy and slow danced with her that is.” Cady said, wiggling her eyebrows.

“Oh. Then that makes sense that she lied.” Karen stated, like the answer was obvious.

“Why?” All three asked.

“I have a question before I answer. Who woke up first?”

“Regina did. She must have been up for a while because she had showered and everything by time I came to.” Janis said, curious about Karen’s question.

Karen rolled her eyes. “Jesus that girl is so  _ stubborn _ it’s going to be the death of her  _ and _ me.”

“What?” Now Janis was super confused.

“What probably happened was she woke up, thought about being happy with you or something like that and then remembered all the mean stuff she did to you and freaked out and decided to lie. She probably thinks she’s protecting you from getting hurt again by lying.” The blonde stated.

“But she’s not like that anymore. I don’t think she could ever go back there.” The brunette said.

“You’re right but she doesn’t believe in herself enough yet.” Karen said in a melancholy tone.

“Fuck she’s so ridiculous.” Janis groaned. What Karen said made sense. Regina had mentioned her worries of going back to her old self some time last week when Janis walked in her snapping at her mom.

“Yes, yes she is. But so are you. From everything that’s been said it sounds like you said something similar.” Karen said, giving her a pointed look.

“I might have just gone along with it and said I forgot too.” Janis said rubbing the back of her neck.

“Janis you silly. What are you going to do now?” Karen’s voice was its regular airy cheerful tone now.

“Well that’s why I got Cady and Daim on the phone. I flirted with her before I left to do laundry and I’m trying to figure out how to flirt  _ again _ because what happened before I left was almost by accident. How do people just _ flirt _ out of nowhere?!” Janis said freaking out again.

“Well what are you doing after laundry. Are you two going to hang out?”

“Oh um we’re going to watch a movie -she’s picking- in one of our beds and we’re gonna cuddle.” Janis’s face was growing even more red somehow.

“Karen, tell her it’s the  _ perfect _ place to flirt. Just like touch her leg or whatever!” Cady squealed.

The blonde gave Janis a gentle knowing look. “You’re scared of looking predatory right?”

“Yep.” Janis said flatly.   
  


“But Regina  _ likes _ you back!” Cady practically yelled.

“Cade I’m sorry you just don’t understand. Until you’re on the receiving end of an accusation of being predatory you won’t get it. It’s one of the  _ worst _ feelings in the world. I’ve gone through it  _ a couple _ of times and that was enough for me.” Janis said, looking away from the phone, unable to hide the hurt in her voice. She’s forgiven Cady a thousand times over but the blue eyed girl’s blindness to the situation had gotten to her.

“Oh geez… Janis… Jan I’m sorry. I never thought about it that way. I think I understand now.” Cady said quietly. 

“It’s okay. I know she likes me back, it's just a fear I can’t shake. But if she were to start the touchy feely stuff then I’d return it. I’m just too chicken to start it in that way.” Janis said honestly.

A squeak came from Karen and everyone’s eyes tracked to her. Janis watched her and could tell she was furiously typing. A few moments later Janis noticed Cady developing a very excited smile but was silent. She watched Damian who remained unfazed. What the  _ fuck _ was happening?

“Karen are you okay?” Janis asked, very suspicious. 

“Oh it’s just Axel my S/O. They sent me a kind of saucy text.” Karen said. But Janis was a little suspicious.

“Cade you good?” Janis asked, eyeing up the girl.

“Oh uh yeah! Just Aaron being adorable.” Cady said quickly.

“Aw that’s nice. What did he say?” Janis asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Oh he uh didn’t say anything… he just sent me a sleepy picture. He’s  _ so _ cute when he first wakes up. His eyes are just so  _ green _ they make me smile. That’s all.” Cady said, her eyes darted all over the place.

Janis watched Damian and Karen roll their eyes at Cady’s response. Damian was the first to speak. “Hey are you really just going to chill down there for like another half hour  _ instead _ of going to cuddle your girlfriend?”

“She’s  _ not _ my girlfriend!” Janis yelped.

“Yet!” Cady chimed in.

“Whatever, I'm waiting for my laundry to be dry. Other girls might need the dryers.” Janis lied.

“Just put your basket in front of the dryers, they'll get the picture! You’ve been chewing at your bottom lip for the last five minutes when  _ Regina _ could be doing that right now!” Damian said wiggling his eyebrows

“Damian!”

“What?! I’m helping you  _ self actualize _ what you want into reality.” Damian sighed dramatically.

“But  _ no one _ has given me any idea on how to flirt.” Janis whined.

“Just wait for the right moment in the movie. Regina is  _ uncultured _ and will pick something everyone has seen so you’ll be able to pick out moments to accidentally graze her hand or make a comment relating it back to her. Or just call her out and be like ‘I lied and I know you did too. Lay down on your bed and let me take care of you.’ Oh my god I made a poem!” Karen giggled.

“Karen!” Janis yelled. She wanted the floor to swallow her up. All their minds were just as bad as her’s.

“Give it a try! At this point, by dancing around it you’re just  _ denying  _ yourself a good time. But anywho I gotta go. Axel wants to come over.” Karen winked.

“I also have to go. I have a study date with this junior for our improv class.” Damian said casually.

“You  _ study _ for improv?” Janis raised an eyebrow.

“We have tests on the history of it and the big names of improv. We have a quiz tomorrow.” Damian smirked.

“Yeah okay  _ fine _ . Thank you everyone for the help and encouragement, even with all the innuendo.” Janis huffed.

“Anytime Jan. Love you!” Cady said, waving at the screen. 

“Bye Jan. Love you!” Damian and Karen said together.

“Love you guys too.” Janis said, flashing a peace sign before ending the call. The brunette sat back in the chair that she didn't realize she had nearly fallen out of in all her franticness. She also finally noticed that Damian was right. She  _ was _ chewing on her bottom lip. She sighed and looked at her phone. She still had a half hour until her laundry was done. Her mind started going over Karen’s options. The first and second were good options so long as Regina picked a good movie. Dammit  _ she _ should have just picked it. She could have picked 10 Things I Hate About You. There’s plenty of time to do something subtle in that movie. She felt a little better hearing everything that Karen said. The other blonde understands Regina’s behaviors more than anyone else. Maybe the blonde would pick it. It was her favorite movie and they used to watch it together all the time. 

Janis realized she might die if she waited  _ any _ longer and got up from the chair. Everyone in the building was probably passed out. She felt like she saw most of Phillips at Bubba’s. As soon as her feet hit the stairs her heart started to race. What were they going to watch? As she came through the door of the third floor her train of thought was stopped when her eyes found none other than Regina George leaving the bathroom.

“Oh hey.” Regina greeted. “Laundry done?”

“Nah I got bored down there. I’ll just leave the stuff in the dryer and go back when we’re done with the movie.” Janis said, trying to sound normal. She walked with the blonde in silence until they reached their door. “So what movie did you pick?”

“The Princess Bride? It came up as a suggestion on my Disney+ and I’ve never seen it but it looked cool. Have you seen it?” Regina asked, almost absentmindedly. 

Janis felt her stomach drop the the core of the earth. She knew there was  _ no _ hiding the blush on her face. It felt like it was all over her body. Of  _ all _ the movies in the world to pick. “Uh-um-yeah but it’s like a  _ really _ dumb. I don’t think you’d like it. It’s really  _ campy _ and shit and I mean  _ obnoxiously _ silly and stuff.” Janis said frantically. She  _ had _ to get her to switch.

“I’m feeling pretty silly today so that sounds great.” The blonde responded calmly.

Janis couldn’t stop a nervous laugh from escaping her lungs. Fuckadey  _ fuck _ fuck. “Well there’s like  _ horrible _ dumb dialog. It’s  _ very _ dated. It just doesn’t seem like something up your alley. How about 10 Things I Hate About You? That still has to be one your  _ favs _ right?” That should work.

“We can watch that after Jan,  _ come on _ . I already set everything up.” Regina said stubbornly. Before Janis could process Regina grabbing her hand she was in the blonde’s arms and she had the pout out. For the love all things gay. “Janjan,  _ why _ are you being difficult?  _ You _ said  _ I _ could pick.” Regina gently whined and batted her eyelash. This was  _ exactly _ how Regina got Janis to wear her body spray all those years ago. 

She finally locked eyes with those  _ obnoxiously _ beautiful green ones. She was sunk. There was  _ no _ getting out of this. Fuck, guess Karen’s second suggestion would be the move. The brunette thought for a moment. When she says it does she really mean it? It seemed kind of crazy but she thought she really meant it. Was that crazy? Maybe not considering how long this song and dance had been going on.  _ Whatever _ fuck it. “As you wish.” Janis said, giving the blonde a small smile.

Regina released a squee, letting go of Janis and quickly tossing her toothbrush into her closet. Janis just stood there unsure of what to do. The brunette finally looked over at Regina’s bed and it was all set up. Janis was once again surprised when she felt the blonde’s hand in hers. Before she knew it she was right in front of Regina’s bed.

Regina pointed toward the pillows. “Bed.  _ Now _ .” She commanded.

Janis felt that heat from an hour ago building again. She’d  _ never _ admit it but bossy Regina was hot. Very  _ very _ hot. Janis quickly clambered onto the and laid back against the pillows. She looked up at Regina who was smirking. What in  _ the _ fuck?

“Still can’t say no to  _ the face _ can ya.” Regina stated cockily.

Janis’s body was on fire with blush. She crossed her arms. “ _ Whatever _ Princess. Do you want to watch this  _ dumb _ movie or not?” Janis tried to sound tough but she was pretty sure by Regina smirking more that it came out as the opposite. 

She watched the blonde lean onto the end of the bed and pushed some button to start the movie. Janis tried to calm her heartbeat but watching Regina crawl down to her made her thoughts freeze. The blonde was  _ still _ smirking. Janis moved her arms so Regina could lay comfortably. The brunette’s breath hitched as Regina got closer and closer until their faces were only inches apart. 

“You’re so cute when you’re frazzled.” Regina said, her tone was most definitely flirty. Regina finished the sentence with a boop on Janis’s nose and then turned away. The blonde took a moment to settle and nuzzle into Janis. Janis felt frozen. Did she  _ really _ just say that? The brunette left her arms at her side resting on the bed. That was until Regina's hands grabbed them and wrapped them around her waist. “There we go. Just like we  _ always _ have.” Regina said smoothly.

Janis rolled her eyes partially at the blonde but  _ also _ at herself.  _ So much _ for being smooth. The brunette was trying to come up with a retort but her brain was fixating on everything that had just happened.  _ Fucking _ hell. Karen had to be right. She wouldn’t be  _ this _ flirtatious unless she actually remembered. Janis hoped Karen was right about the reason too. All the poor punk could do was move her eyes to the movie which was right as the grandfather was starting the story.

_ Buttercup was raised on a small farm in the country Floran. Her favorite pastimes were riding her horse and tormenting the farm boy that worked there. His name was Westley. But she never called him that. _

“Are you sure you don’t want to watch something else?” Janis asked nervously. She still had a minute to stop the trainwreck. Part of her was also telling her to  _ shut up _ .

“ _ Yes _ Jan.” Regina sighed.

“But it’s  _ so _ dumb.” Janis couldn’t stop herself.

“Shhh.”

**_Buttercup: Farm boy, polish my horse’s saddle. I want to see my face shining in it by morning._ **

**_Westley: As you wish._ ** __

“ _ This _ is where you got that from. What does it mean?” Regina asked as she tilted her head back to look at Janis. 

The brunette sat frozen staring at the laptop ready to accept whatever fate had in store for her. Fuck fuck fuck. She should have just thrown a tantrum or something. Fuck  _ fuck _ fuck.

_ As you wish is all he ever said to her. _

**_Buttercup: Farm boy, fill these with water… Please..._ **

**_Westley: As you wish._ **

Regina was still tilted back looking at Janis.

_ That day she was amazed to discover that when he was saying as you wish what he meant was I love you. _

Regina's head spanned to the laptop and stiffened in Janis’s arms. The brunette thought she might have a heart attack. She loosened her arms around the blonde.  _ Either _ of them might want to make a quick escape.

_ And even more amazing was the day she realized she truly loved him back. _

Regina sat up, breaking their cuddle and crawled to pause the movie. Janis in that time had drawn her knees to her chest and hid her face. Shit  _ shit _ SHIT. She closed her eyes, waiting for something to happen. She felt a tear forming. It must have been the nerves. She wasn’t sad, just scared. The brunette wrapped her arms around her legs and hugged them tightly as she felt the bed shift. She could tell Regina was right in front of her. 

"Jan… I lied about blacking out." Regina said softly. 

"I-I did too." Janis's voice was just loud enough for the blonde to hear.

"I'm sorry Jan." The green eyed girl’s voice was genuine. 

"Me too." Janis returned. Fuck  _ where _ was this going to go?

"Jan why are you hiding?" Regina questioned gently. She didn't seem concerned nor judgmental just curious. 

"I don't really know. I-I-I think I'm just nervous." Janis stuttered out looking up just enough to see Regina who was sitting back on her knees smiling gently. She had this look that Janis felt like she had only seen a few times before but not since middle school. Janis lifted her head a little more.

The blonde scooted closer to Janis and placed a hand on the brunette's cheek. “I can fix that.” Regina said softly, catching Janis's tear and smiling. The brunette’s heart started pounding.  _ Holy shit _ . I can fix that.  _ HOLY SHIT _ . Janis gaped at Regina, who just giggled. Janis gasped as she felt Regina’s hand move to her chin tilting it upward. Regina started to lean down and her smile only got bigger. Janis thought about smiling back but was too busy wondering if maybe she  _ did _ in fact have a stroke on that first day of orientation. But as Regina kept coming closer Janis finally smiled back and closed the gap between them. 

Her lips met Regina’s and she thought she might explode. This kiss was different. There was no tentativeness to it. Though last night’s was heated there was still some hesitation in their movements. But this one, Janis was sure and she could tell Regina was too. The brunette felt a hunger building in her chest. Her teeth caught Regina's bottom lip and bit down much harder than she had last night. Regina whimpered and pulled Janis as close as she could. Janis shivered as the blonde's hands quickly traveled to the back of her neck, her nail grazing ever so slightly against her ears as they passed. The blonde smiled into the kiss. The brunette started to release her legs and flatten them out. She felt Regina shift to allow her legs between her own. Janis put her hands on Regina’s hips holding the blonde in place. Regina captured Janis’s lip and hungrily nibbled while the grip in Janis hair got tighter. Janis could keep the soft moan in the lungs from escaping. Their lips danced together and Janis felt like she was flying. This was amazing. But something wasn’t right. Regina wasn’t close enough. Janis snaked her arm under the blonde’s thighs and gave a strong tug. Regina fell into Janis’s lap, with her legs wrapped around the brunette. Regina let out a squeak and pulled away. Janis’s eyes flew open.

“Reg I’m sorry I-”

“Jan shut up that was  _ hot  _ as  _ fuck _ .” Regina said in a low voice before kissing Janis hard. 

Janis pulled her as close as she could and dug her nails into the blondes hips like she did last night. Regina let out a whine and tugged at Janis’s hair making her gasp. The blonde hummed cockily and took the brunette’s lower lip between hers sucking on it feverishly. Janis felt like she was drowning. Regina George was in her lap making out with her. Janis had no idea how much time had passed exploring each other’s mouths and drawing noises from the other, when Regina’s lips moved off Janis’s and started grazing over her cheek. She felt soft kisses across her skin until the blonde reached Janis’s ear. 

Janis twitched and tried to turn to capture Regina’s lips again but the grip the blonde had on the brunette’s hair was strong. “Has my long standing theory been right all along?” Regina mumbled against the shell Janis’s ear. Janis couldn’t form words and was only able to choke out a groan as her body twitched again.  _ Fucking _ fuck. “Janis Naomi are your  _ ears _ sensitive? Is this an  _ erogenous _ zone for you?” Regina’s voice was oozing confidence as she placed a kiss on Janis’s ear.

“Fuck you.” Janis managed to whine, which then turned into a moan when Regina’s teeth ghosted over the shell of her ear. The brunette’s whole body jolted while she clutched onto the blonde’s body, as the Plastic ever so gently nipped at the lobe of Janis’s ear.

“Maybe later.” Regina said simply before resuming the torture of Janis’s ear.

Janis’s eyes shot open.  _ Fucking hell shit _ . Regina was going to be the death of her. The brunette  _ needed _ to take some control back. Suddenly Janis processed what was in front of her. Janis smirked to herself and moved her head forward until her lips met Regina’s neck giving it a rough kiss. Janis was rewarded with a strangled moan that flew out of Regina, who pulled away from her ear.

The blonde looked shocked. “No fair! You can’t  _ do that _ while I’m doing that to you!”

“No one said this was fair Reg.” Janis smirked before grabbing the back of the blonde’s neck and pulling her down into a heated kiss. Regina put up the tiniest fight but very soon melted. Janis waited for them to fall into another feverish rhythm before sliding the hand on Regina’s neck back down to her waist. The brunette smirked into the kiss feeling Regina shiver as Janis began gently running her finger over the blonde’s hips and lower back. Regina moved her hands allowing her arms to hang around Janis’s neck and shoulder. This finally allowed their chests to be fully pressed against one another. That sent Janis over the edge as she moved her lips away from Regina’s and hungrily began kissing down the blonde’s jawline and onto her neck. 

“Jan.” Regina gasped. “ _ Fuck _ .” The blonde clutched at the back of Janis’s shirt like it was the only thing keeping her upright.

Janis smirked against Regina’s skin and planted kiss after kiss. She started to suck on the blonde’s pulse point and Janis felt a surge of confidence as Regina whined. The brunette paused for a moment before taking her kisses upward for a moment. Regina shivered in her lap. As Janis returned to the pulse point she moved her hands to Regina's stomach and slowly moved her hands upward. Her hands stopped just at the base of Regina’s breasts but her mouth continued until she returned to the slightly pink pulse point. She sucked at the spot again but brought her teeth down onto the flesh. Regina hips jolted and Regina let out a moan.

“F-f-fucking  _ shit _ Jan.” Regina stammered out. Her arms hand pulled at Janis’s shirt while the other moved to the brunette’s ear, pulling a gasp from the punk. Janis’s head was starting to spin, she was so overwhelmed. Regina moving under her touch but also Regina playing with her stupid ear. But still she wanted more. Very slowly she moved her hands up a few more inches, running her hands up to cup the blonde’s breast gently. Regina jumped but didn’t pull back and whined. “Jan  _ please _ .” She was breathless and Janis in heaven.

Janis grasps more firmly to the two mounds. Her mouth was still on Regina’s neck as she ran her thumbs up and down until she felt little peaks starting to appear. Regina’s body jolted and the blonde whined a stream of barely coherent curse words while her arms wrapped around the brunette. Janis felt her shirt being yanked up from the back and not soon after finally felt Regina’s dulled nail on her skin. The punk hissed and shivered. She dropped her hands to the blonde’s waist and pulled away from her neck. Both the girls were panting. Regina still had a hold on her shirt. She looked at the blonde who looked mildly disheveled but in the most  _ beautiful _ way possible. For the first time Janis allowed her eyes to wonder over the blonde without fear. The brunette was left breathless by the sight. When she made it to her face it was pink as could be. “You’re so gorgeous.” Janis barely said about a whisper. Regina let out a little laugh and ducked her head. The grey eyed girl rested her forehead against Regina’s. “Why are you hiding from me?” The punk asked gently. 

“It’s nothing.” Regina said leaning back. Janis felt blush crop up on her cheeks as Regina’s eyes ran over her. The blonde placed her free hand on Janis’s cheek and leaned in giving her a short soft kiss. As she pulled away she let out a long sigh. “You’re also gorgeous… and sexy… and cute.” Regina said leaning in for another kiss. The blonde tugged at Janis’s shirt again.

Janis pulled back unable to keep the smirk off her face. “Can I  _ help _ you?” Janis asked cockily. Regina pouted at Janis but said nothing. “Use your words Reg.” 

“I want to  _ see _ you Jan.” Regina said nervously. Janis’s smirk turned into a beaming smile and lifted her arms above her head. Her eyes flutter closed as she felt the fabric rising. She moved her hands back to Regina’s hips and looked at the blonde. Janis had to hold in a snicker at Regina gaping. It looked like her brain broke. “Wow.” Was all the blonde could muster.

“Thanks.” Janis said smiling as she leaned up to kiss Regina. The blonde’s hands began their tour of Janis’s torso. The brunette shivered under the welcome touch. Regina moved her mouth away from Janis’s and decided her other ear needed the same treatment as the other.  _ Fucking _ hell. Janis gasped and buried her face in the nape of Regina’s neck muffling the moan escaping her lungs. She thought about kissing the blonde’s neck but her brain was very quickly growing foggy. Regina’s hands were tentative which reminded the brunette this was the blonde’s first time with a girl. Should  _ she _ be leading this? Does it matter? So long as they were both comfortable it shouldn’t matter who does what. 

Regina’s hands mimicked Janis’s previous movement causing the brunette to moan. “ _ Fuck _ Reg.” Janis hissed. The brunette moved her hands under the hem of the blonde’s shirt and lifted it just enough to allow her hands under the fabric. She gently ran her fingertips up and down the soft skin of the green eyed girl's sides, who squirmed in her lap. Janis wanted to see Regina for real. She wanted to kiss every inch of her. Her hands started sliding upward. Janis twitched in response to the needy whine that felt against her ear. “Can I?” Janis mumbled against Regina’s skin. Everything paused for a moment. Why wasn’t she answering? Just as Janis was going to ask if she was okay, Regina sat back and lifted her arms.

“Of course.” Regina said. She looked nervous but that made sense. This was her first time with a girl after all.

Janis quickly removed the shirt excited to finally see the goddess on her lap. Her heart froze when she saw Regina chewing on her bottom lip looking almost scared. As Janis looked down her face heated up at the cute bralette she was wearing but was surprised to find Regina’s arms wrapped around her waist, covering her stomach. “Reg are you okay.”

“Um yeah I just…” Regina’s voice fell off.

“Regina we can stop if you want.” Janis said gently.

“No no it’s fine I’m just being silly.” Regina said but her eyes and arms wrapping tighter around herself betrayed her words.

“Reggie, whatever you’re feeling  _ isn’t _ silly, I promise. You can tell me.” Janis whispered.

“Its… I still have a few stretch marks and they’re weird and gross.” Regina said, shame wracking her voice.

“Reg.” Janis said softly, bringing a hand to Regina’s cheek. She gently rubbed the soft skin with her thumb. A ping of guilt went through the brunette. Those stretch marks were probably her doing. Janis took a deep breath. “A few stretch marks won’t magically take away the fact that I think you are the most  _ beautiful _ girl I have  _ ever _ seen in my life. I’ve thought that as long as I can remember.” Regina blushed deeply and tried to hide her face but Janis moved her other hand holding the blonde in place. Janis pulled her closer and placed a soft kiss on her forehead, then her nose, one on each cheek, and finally one on her lips. She rested her forehead against the Regina’s. “Please don’t hide from me. We can stop Reg. I promise I won’t be mad. I want you to be  _ comfortable _ .”

“I haven’t heard that in a  _ long _ time.” Regina whispered. 

Janis let go of Regina’s face and placed her hands on top of the blonde’s arms. She made no move to try and pry them off. The grey eyed girl just looked at her green eyed beauty and gently rubbed little circles on her arms. “They’re  _ not _ gross or weird in my eyes by the way.”

“Well you haven’t  _ seen  _ mine.” Regina said stubbornly. Janis’s heart ached. Did Regina really not believe her?

“I promise you I will think they’re beautiful. No matter if I see them today or maybe never I will think they are just as beautiful and perfect as the rest of you. Nothing will  _ ever _ make me think differently.” Janis said softly.

Regina looked deep in Janis’s eyes. “Do you promise?” Regina challenged. 

“I promise. I swear on my life.” Janis said seriously and she meant it. Janis watched Regina’s shoulders raise and fall in a shaky breath. Janis felt Regina’s arms move away from her stomach. Janis paused. All she wanted was for Regina to be comfortable and feel beautiful. “Can I look?” Janis asked. The blonde nodded. Janis slowly moved her gaze downward until she came across the first of four little squiggles. Two were a very light pink and the other two were almost the same tone as the rest on Regina’s skin. Kylie had them too. She gazed at them in awe. The brunette never found them weird or gross. She looked at them like they were little strokes of paint. Regina was perfect. Janis without thinking started reaching up to touch one of them but froze an inch away. She looked up ready to say sorry but Regina, who also looked in awe for some reason, took the brunette’s hand and moved it to touch one of the marks. Regina shivered under the touch but began to relax. Janis moved her other hand to another and gently ran a finger over it. Before she moved to touch the other ones she brought her thumbs up to her lips and placed a kiss on both before running her thumbs over the other two.

To Janis’s surprise she heard a little giggle coming from Regina. When she looked up Regina’s hands were covering her face. “Fucking  _ hell _ Jan you’re so  _ fucking _ cute I can’t handle it.”

Janis blushed and laughed nervously. “I really wanted to kiss them but I figured there’s always another day to do that… If that’s okay with you.”

Regina grabbed hold of Janis’s face. “That sounds amazing.” Regina said smiling. She placed a kiss on the brunette’s lips. Janis was pretty sure she was melting. The blonde looked nervous as she spoke. “Are… are you sure it’s okay if we stop? I’m sorry.”

“Of course.” Janis said placing her hands over Regina’s. “You don’t  _ ever _ have to apologize for wanting to stop.  _ Never _ . I will never be mad. I promise.”

Regina’s smile grew big and before she knew it Janis was falling backwards onto the bed and Regina was snuggling herself between Janis and the wall. The green eyed girl rested her head in the crook of Janis neck. “You’re a dream Janjan.” Regina sighed. 

Janis blushed but smiled down at Regina who was already looking up at her. The brunette leaned down and captured the blonde’s lips in a tender kiss. “So are you Reggie. An absolute dream.” Janis whispered before wrapping her arms around the blonde. She watched Regina’s eyes start to droop. “You sleepy?” The blonde just nodded and buried her face in Janis’s neck. “Same.” Janis yawned. The brunette wanted to watch the goddess tucked into her side drift off but the sandman had other plans and she too was drifting off to sleep with a gentle smile on her lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp there it is! Thanks for reading! Leave a comment if you wish!
> 
> We're not done yet but it's fine! The next chapter or two might take a while because I am desperately trying to figure out how to not just make it smutty. But part of me also wants to say fuck it and just let the smut fly. If that sounds like a horrible idea to you please tell me on the Tumblr.
> 
> https://why-do-i-like-you-ya-dumb-bean.tumblr.com/


	16. Cheesy Tater Tots

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well my friends this shall soon be over. A few more chapters to be worked on. Check the note at the end for more info.

The first thing to hit Regina’s senses when she woke up was the smell of eucalyptus and hair tickling her nose. The second was the feeling of one half of her face laying on soft skin that wasn’t hers. The third was the feeling of her arm draped over the same unfamiliar skin paired with that arm raising and falling. The last thing she sensed before opening her eyes were long arms wrapped around her body. She felt so safe and at peace surrounded by these senses. She almost wondered if she was dreaming.

As she opened her eyes and saw the presence in bed with her she knew that it wasn’t. Though the dark part of her brain was trying to tell her it was. It was trying to tell her all sorts of dark things. Like she  _ didn’t _ deserve to be looking at the punk goddess who was holding her close. That she wouldn’t  _ ever _ be able to make this amazing artist as happy as she made her. And no matter how she tried she’d  _ never _ be good enough for Janis.

Regina was so caught up in her thoughts she didn’t even notice that Janis had woken up until the brunette’s sleep laden voice reached her ears. “Hey whatever mean shit your brain is telling you, tell it to fuck off.”

“What? I’m  _ not _ -it’s fine.” Regina stammered out.

“Reg you look like you’re miles away, your whole body is tense, and this arm around my waist is slowly squeezing the life out of me. I know that look. I’ve  _ had _ that look on my face. Whatever your brain is telling you, it’s not true.” Janis said, giving her a gentle squeeze.

“You don’t  _ know _ that.” Regina mumbled.

“Try me. Tell me what you’re thinking.” Janis challenged. 

“Jan I-”

“Is it about me?” The brunette questioned.

“Maybe.” The blonde said looking down. A finger tapped her chin and she looked up.

“If it’s not then I won’t press. But if it’s about me  _ or _ this,-” Janis said pointing between the two of them. “-keeping it all in your head is only going to make it harder. Let me help you fight that mean part of your brain.”

The blonde felt her heart starting to pound. Janis didn’t  _ need _ this right after waking up. She looked into those grey eyes and they were so gentle. Regina felt a thumb rubbing little circles on her hip. No. It was okay to share. Janis was offering help. It was okay. “Part of me is scared that I’ll  _ never _ be able to make you happy like you make me happy, that I’m not  _ good _ enough to do this with you, that I just  _ don’t _ deserve you.” Regina whispered.

Janis was silent. Regina could tell she was trying to formulate something to say so the blonde laid still and quiet in the brunette’s arms. The green eyed girl waited for those grey eyes to find hers. Maybe Janis thought this was a mistake. Maybe her brain was right. The Plastic felt her heart thudding even harder in her chest.

Just as Regina's mind was about to release another string of doubt filled thoughts Janis leaned closer to the blonde. Their lips were less than an inch apart when Janis stopped. “Your brain is wrong about  _ all _ those things.” The brunette leaned in and placed a gentle kiss on Regina’s lips before continuing. “You make me incredibly happy. Being friends with you again has brought me so much happiness and  _ now _ that this has happened I feel like I’m on cloud nine.” The brunette leaned in for another brief kiss. “You are enough for me. More than good enough. More than I could  _ ever _ imagine. You are amazing.” Regina opened her mouth to contradict her. But Janis just leaned in again. This kiss was longer and deeper and the blonde felt like she was melting into the bed. When Janis pulled away she rested her forehead against Regina’s and spoke again. “Deserve is something that shouldn’t be attached to feelings for people but our shitty brain makes us think they should. So I’ll say this. Tell the jerk part of your brain to listen because I mean this with all my heart. I want this. I have wanted this  _ before _ I even understood what I was feeling. There were times even when we weren't friends that I wanted this,  _ longed _ for this. Ever since we had that heart to heart I have wanted this more than ever and wished and hoped and prayed to the lesbian gods for this.”

“Who are the lesbian gods?” Regina couldn’t help but ask with a giggle. Her body was loosening with each word coming from Janis’s mouth and the mean part of her brain was falling silent.

“Ellen Page, Sarah Paulson, Hayley Kiyoko, Lena Waithe, Samira Wiley, Kate McKinnon, Jodie Foster, Wanda Sykes, there’s more, but  _ anyway _ , back to the mushy stuff. I want this. I want you. I want  _ all _ of you. I know that there will be snags and mess ups. But there will also be fun and joy and love…ly - _ lovely _ \- times together… If that’s something you would want… with me.” Janis finished and was now the one looking very tense and nervous. 

Regina almost couldn’t believe her ears. Janis really had a way with words because Regina’s body was tingling with warmth. She felt so… loved? Was it too early to feel that? Maybe, maybe not, they were complicated.  _ Fuck it _ . She felt loved and protected by Janis’s words and the way she held her and kissed her just now. It was amazing. The feeling made her wish they could stay like this in forever. Regina watched Janis nervously chew on her bottom lip and almost couldn’t believe Janis didn’t already know the answer. That look on brunette's face made something flare up in the blonde. She wanted to see the girl blush  _ so _ badly.

She let a smirk crop up on her face which quickly registered with Janis's because the punk let out a nervous laugh. "What Reg?" She asked quietly.

Regina allowed her smirk to turn into a wicked grin. In a few quick movements she shifted out of Janis's grasp, swung a leg over the brunette's waist, and sat up so she was straddling the punk. The blonde watched with glee as not only Janis's face turned red, but her neck and most of her torso. Regina couldn't help but chuckle at the obviously flustered girl. The punk opened her mouth but nothing came out so she closed it and tried again but failed once more. "You're so  _ fucking _ cute." Regina cooed before leaning down ever so  _ slowly _ in order to savor the hold she had on her grey eyed counterpart. She rested her arms on either side of the Janis's head, trapping the flustered girl, whose breath had become shallow. Their faces were only inches apart and Regina wondered what she looked like to the girl under her with all her golden hair encapsulating her face. She smiled down softly at Janis before leaning in and giving her a gentle kiss. "I would like that very much. Fun and joy and…  _ lovely _ times sound amazing if it's with you."

Regina watched Janis's nervousness melt away and was replaced with a sweet smile. It was the smile that Karen and Syd told her about. She had seen it a few times since being at Bethany and it made her feel things. But at that moment it felt like she was seeing for the first time. Knowing what the look was and knowing it was only for her made the blonde feel like she was floating. Her wish to stay in the bed forever grew stronger. But as the sound of Janis’s grumbling stomach reached her ears, she knew it would have to stay a fleeting dream.

“Have you eaten yet?” Regina asked in a concerned tone. Janis gave her an innocent smile. It had to be past noon. With Janis still under her, the blonde groped for her phone. When her hand finally found it she quickly turned her head to glance at the time and saw it was  _ past _ 2pm. She dropped the phone and whipped her head back to Janis. She was about to scold the brunette, but when her eyes focused on Janis, she was wrinkling her nose and scrunching her face because Regina’s hair was tickling her. Regina just giggled her and swiped the hair away. “How about we go get some food?” Regina said, cocking an eyebrow. 

Before Janis answered she leaned up the short distance to the blonde and gave her a quick kiss. “Sounds good to me. I overheard someone at Bubba’s last night saying there was going to be cheesy tater tots.” The brunette smiled.

“It’s already passed two Jan. I don’t think they’ll still be there.” Regina said sadly. Cheesy tater tots might be better than cheese fries. 

“Nah it’s Sunday. Brunch goes from eleven to three so we still have some time!” Janis said excitedly and gave the blonde another quick kiss. 

Regina smiled down at the girl and gave her a quick kiss. Janis kissed her quickly again. Regina returned the kiss again. The brunette giggled and leaned up to kiss the blonde once again but the Plastic pulled away smirking and heard the  _ saddest _ yet  _ cutest _ whine come from the punk, who pouted her lip. “ _ Ohhh nooo _ .” Regina chuckled in a foe mocking tone, making no progress in leaving her bed and getting off Janis. The brunette’s body felt so good against her’s it was addicting. She knew it was going to be a problem of sorts. “Don’t pout at me. We need to go eat.  _ Especially _ you. I at least had a gift from the saltine fairy but you just  _ sauntered off _ to do laundry.”

“Yeah well I couldn’t just  _ stay _ in the room after my childhood slash current crush had just told me she  _ forgot _ that we spent most of the night openly flirting  _ and _ touching each other. She also had the  _ audacity _ to just casually tell me she thought  _ I _ was hot like it was nothing and then made out with me against our wall. Would you have  _ really _ been able to stay in the room?” Janis said sassily.

Regina felt blush on her face. “Well when you put it like  _ that _ I guess I can understand.” The blonde said slightly embarrassed. She willed herself to get off of Janis and on two feet. She watched Janis pout again and cross her arms. “Hey if you get up I’ll give you a kiss.” Regina said with a small smirk. The blonde couldn’t help but cackle and scream as Janis leaped out of the bed, grabbed her around the waist and pulled her off the ground, bringing their lips together. Regina instinctively wrapped her arms around Janis’s neck. For the love all things gay Janis was an  _ amazing _ kisser. The blonde melted as the brunette set her down on the ground and gave her bottom lip a little nip. “Damn you’re such a good kisser.” Regina said while she pulled away.

“Why thank you. You’re not half bad yourself given your  _ male _ clientele.” Janis said, wiggling her eyebrows. 

“Aaron was a surprisingly good kisser. But that’s because he  _ actually _ listened. He doesn’t hold a candle to you.” Regina said before leaning in to kiss Janis quickly. But the brunette ran a thumb up the blonde’s side and the kiss quickly became heated. Regina couldn’t help but let out a little whine while tangling her hand’s in Janis’s hair and gripping it tightly. The punk’s gasp only spurred the Plastic on farther as she tugged on her lower lip, pulling a soft moan from the artist. Regina was about to say fuck the tater tots but Janis’s stomach growled so loud that the blonde had to pull away. “Okay okay.” She giggled. “We  _ have _ to go eat. We’ll have time for this later.”

Regina giggled once again when she let go of Janis and stepped back because the brunette just pouted while she picked her long forgotten shirt off the ground and pulled it over her head. “I don’t  _ need _ food. I’ll learn photosynthesis.” Janis said stubbornly, but her stomach growled again. Regina chuckled and looked down at her shirt-Janis’s shirt and picked it up. She really wanted to put it back on, but thought giving it back might be the better thing to do. When she looked up from the shirt to Janis, the brunette was already looking at her with a light blush on her face. “You can still wear that if you want to. It um… you look really cute in it.” Janis said nervously and looked away. The blush had turned from pink to crimson.

Regina wondered for a moment if she’d  _ always _ be able to make Janis blush like that. She hoped so because it was  _ ridiculously _ adorable. The blonde pulled it over her head and let it fall past her shorts. She looked at the brunette who was still as red as a tomato. “Alrighty let’s go get some tots.” Regina said gleefully. As she went to grab her meal card and phone and gently nudged Janis, who seemed frozen, in the direction of her side of the room to grab her things. She heard the brunette moving and grabbing things. She grabbed her stuff and when she turned around, found Janis on the ground looking under her bed. “Jan what are you doing?”

“I can’t find my stupid wallet.” Janis said from the ground. The brunette was halfway under her bed when Regina spotted her jeans from last night. The blonde grabbed the jeans off the ground and noted there was extra heft to them. She reached in the back pocket and found the leather trifold.

“Jan I found it in your jeans.” Regina said cooly. She watched Janis scramble from under the bed and hop to her feet. The brunette grabbed her phone and then walked over to the blonde reaching for the wallet. But Regina pulled it away with a smirk. “Gotta pay a  _ finders fee _ .” She said in a very flirtatious tone.

Janis surprisingly huffed and rolled her eyes. It threw Regina off and she felt a bit of anger flare up in her. “Regina George.” Janis said in a gentle flirtatious tone, taking a step closer to the girl. The blonde’s anger quickly burned out but was very confused. Janis spoke again, flirtation still lacing her words. “If I kiss you again  _ right now _ you’re going to end up against my closet door and then in my bed with even more clothes off than before. And that sounds  _ so amazing _ and has the potential to provide me with a  _ delicious _ snack. But I’m  _ really _ hungry and need  _ solid _ food.” Janis’s words and smirk left Regina so frazzled that she barely noticed the punk plucking the wallet from her hand. Did the brunette really just  _ say _ that? The blonde’s entire body felt like it was on fire. Regina wished she hadn’t eaten all the saltines and shared with the punk because she would give just about anything right now to be in the process of Janis just described. 

Janis’s voice and hand tangling in hers pulled her from her dirty thoughts. “Come  _ on _ Princess I want tots! We have half an hour!” 

Regina shook her head and started moving. “Right yeah, let’s go!” She said, mind still swimming in Janis’s words. An image of Janis’s face between her legs flashed into her head and it took everything in her to not let out a whine. The poor flustered blonde was so caught up in the images she had barely noticed the pair had made it all the way outside. That was until Janis let go of her hand. That feeling of disappointment from several Sundays ago flashed through her again. But this time she just reached out and took the hand back, lacing her fingers with the other. “Why’d you let go?” Regina inquired.

Janis stopped in her tacks. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t sure if you’d be comfortable with holding hands outside. People could see and I wasn’t sure if you’d want that.” The brunette said quietly, regret ringing in her voice.

“It’s okay. I’m fine with it! The idea of making out in public space -when I’m sober- doesn’t  _ really _ have much appeal anymore like it did in high school. But holding hands, a hand on the leg, a peck to say hi or bye, and little things like that sound really nice. How does that sound to you?” Regina asked gently. She thought Janis seemed to grow more nervous with each word. “We don’t hav-”

“No  _ no _ that sounds amazing. I just wasn’t expecting you to be okay with all of that stuff with me.” Janis said sheepishly. 

“Why? You’re my girl… girl I have lots of feelings for and want to cuddle with and do more risky activities with…” Regina frantically ripped out of her lungs. Shit  _ shit _ shit.  _ Oh god _ . “Jan are we..?” No  _ no _ . This was probably too soon for Janis. “Sorry I’m  _ crazy _ , it's way too fast. I’m being  _ stup _ -”

“Will you be my girlfriend?” Janis asked, her eyes brimming with hope and excitement. 

“I-are you sure?” Regina asked. Holy gay shit.

“Well yeah. We’ve been dancing around this for like a month but  _ really _ longer. I’d love to be your girlfriend. So you will be mine?” Janis asked, opening her arms.

Regina couldn’t help but lean in and give Janis a quick kiss. “Of course I will!” Regina said maybe a  _ little _ too loud, for the proximity she was to her girlfriend but the brunette didn’t seem to mind and leaned in to give the blonde a quick kiss back.

“HOLY  _ MOTHER FUCKING SHIT _ IT HAPPENED!” Came the scream of very familiar voice. Regina quickly looked up to find half of Syd’s body hanging out her window. She watched the purple headed girl poke her head into her room “GUYS IT  _ FUCKING _ HAPPENED! WE HAVE LIFTOFF! THE  _ LESBIAN EAGLE _ HAS LANDED!  _ JANREG _ IS HAPPENING!”

Regina couldn’t help but laugh and heard Janis laughing along with her. She could hear shouts of ‘what?’ and ‘no way’ and ‘fuck yes’ coming from the room. As much as Regina wanted to see everyone’s little faces popping out of the window she needed to get her girlfriend…  _ wow _ … yes her  _ girlfriend _ down to the caf for some tots. They needed to discuss a few things while they were at it. The blonde gave the tug on Janis’s shirt and started pulling her in the direction of the caf. “Come on  _ girlfriend _ . Let’s get you fed.” The blonde said sweetly. 

“Okay  _ girlfriend _ .” Janis chuckled.

**************************************

Regina and Janis had gotten their cheesy tots and happily chowed down. It was just past 3 when Regina finally got up the courage to tell Janis why she lied. “I got scared I was going to hurt you all over again. I thought by lying I would be protecting you from me. But after you left I talked to Gretch and she put me in my place. She said ‘fuck’ and I couldn’t believe it.”

“Gretchen Weiners said ‘ _ fuck _ ’? What did you  _ say _ to her?” Janis laughed.

“Well it was after  _ a lot _ of back and forth about how I thought lying would protect you and me calling myself a monster.” Regina said. Janis reached across the table and grabbed her hand and looked ready to launch into a speech about her not being a monster. “Jan I know I’m not a monster. The intrusive thoughts had taken over at that point. But when I said pursuing you would be selfish, it just tipped her over the edge. She said something like ‘How the  _ fuck _ does that make sense?’ and she didn’t even realize she said it until I pointed it out later in the convo.”

“Wow you made  _ Gretchen _ say fuck. You really are talented.” Janis said, giving Regina’s hand a squeeze. 

“Yeah. She really got me out of that headspace when she talked about feelings and deserve not being the right word like you said earlier. She had stopped yelling at that point. But  _ also _ soon after that is when I told her that you’d say as you wish.” Regina said coyly. Janis’s cheeks turned pink. “And that’s when she called me a useless uncultured lesbian which is true. But  _ also _ told me to watch Princess Bride with you. She wouldn’t tell me why but just said to make you watch it and not tell you she said to watch it.” Regina laughed as Janis’s mouth dropped open in surprise. 

The brunette shook her head and sighed. "Karen  _ really _ is a psychic.”

"Karen? When did you talk to her?" The blonde asked, trying not to sound panicked. She forgot that Karen and Janis talked sometimes.

"This morning. Not at first. I was telling Daim and Cade about what happened last night and then how I flirted this morning and asked them for help on how to flirt again.” Janis said, sounding embarrassed. “Daim got Karen on after I mentioned how much we drank. He and Cady were suspicious that you lied. Karen confirmed that suspicion and said you outdrank  _ Jason Weems _ one time in a competition."

"Oh yeah but Jason's a  _ lightweight _ little shit." Regina laughed. 

“I’m not surprised. But anyway when Damian explained everything Karen guessed you got in your head and lied out of fear.” Janis said. The blonde watched the brunette’s face. She was thinking about something. “But after that Kar got a text and started acting kind of weird and then Cady  _ definitely _ got a text and really started acting weird. When I pressed Cade she just got  _ jumpy  _ so I figured it was something about me. And then they all had to peace out at once. Little weirdos.”

“I bet the four of them have a group chat.” Regina said, rolling her eyes playfully.

“That sounds like them. Damian and Cady are crazy like that.”

“Karen and Gretch are definitely like that too.” Regina chuckled. She was tempted to tell Janis about the middle school wedding plans her two friends made but decided that might be  _ a bit _ much to bring up since they’d only been girlfriends for less than an hour. The blonde looked down at her hand and realized that the brunette still had it. 

The hand quickly disappeared. “Sorry.” Janis said rubbing the back of her neck, looking down.

Regina reached out and took the hand back and put it back on the table but now the blonde’s was on top. “Hey you’re my  _ girlfriend _ you can hold my hand you goof. You don't have to apologize. If I don’t want my hand held or stuff like that I’ll just let you know. But honestly I’m really excited by the idea of getting to hold your hand and be close to you and just be with you like this… Together.” Regina said sweetly, giving the brunette’s hand a gentle squeeze. Her heart warmed watching Janis react to her words. The look of nervousness was replaced with a quiet joy. The plastic could tell the punk was trying not to be too giddy. Regina felt her heart skip in her chest when Janis flipped her hand over and started rubbing circles into her palm. 

Janis was  _ definitely _ the mystery person from those dreams. Regina rolled her eyes internally at herself thinking back to the day she hung out with the artist in front of Old Main and the little dream she had about walking down a hallway. It was so  _ obvious _ yet she denied it. She felt a slight blush crop up on her cheeks as she thought about the other dream and it was a  _ hundred percent _ Janis. The smaller, softer, familiar frame was that of the brunette. The actions of that dream sounded amazing at the time and  _ now _ it could very well happen if she just asked. The blonde could feel her cheeks getting warmer and a little chuckle from the other side of the table brought her back to reality.

“You okay Reg?” Janis snickered, still rubbing circles.

Regina shook her head lightly trying to ground herself. It worked -sort of- the image of being wrapped around Janis and pressed against a wall was still floating around. “Uh yeah. You doing our hand thing reminded me of this dream I had the day before the gaywakening. I was walking down a hallway holding hands with someone. The person with me was doing the circles. I couldn’t see who it was and at the time I told myself it was Aaron but  _ this _ …” Regina started returning the circles. “is our thing.” The blonde smiled at her last few words.

Janis seemed a little taken aback by her honesty. Regina waited to see what the brunette would say. A small smile graced the grey eyed girl's lips and those beautiful eyes sparked with something Regina couldn’t quite place but knew it was something good. “ _ Our _ thing.” Janis said, goofily smiling. “I like that.” The brunette’s smile only got wider. Those grey orbs fixed on Regina made the green eyed girl feel something stir in her. It was exciting and almost  _ frightening _ in a way. But she liked it.

Regina felt the blush on her face creeping across her chest, down her neck, and up to her ears. It was in that moment that she realized no one had  _ ever _ looked at her like that other than Janis. Janis had looked at her since they were little. As long as she’d known Janis she’d known that look. It wasn’t a constant, but there were so many moments peppered in life that she’d seen that look in those grey eyes. Those moments left her feeling like she might burst into flame like a phoenix and soon after be reborn. It was a  _ powerful _ look. She didn’t like it. She  _ loved _ it.

When she was with Aaron she remembered waiting for that feeling but it never came. Bless that boy. She had a feeling whenever she did tell him about this that he may be  _ the least _ surprised of all. The blonde was glad he had Cady now. They were very cute. And she was right. His eyes  _ were _ green and not grey.

“You’re such a dork.” Regina said, chuckling. She, Regina Blaire George, was the  _ actual _ dork, getting all caught up and wistful about how Janis looked at her. But for now she’d just call her girlfriend one. 

“Dork?! Why am  _ I _ a dork?” Janis said, throwing a hand to her chest in offence, though it seemed fake.

  
“Just because.” Regina said before leaning across the table and gave an unsuspecting Janis quiet a long peck on the lips. “But you’re  _ my _ dork.” Regina said, when she pulled away. The blonde was delighted to see that flustered look in the brunette’s eye and blush across her cheeks again. Regina smiled. That sight would  _ never _ get old.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Leave a comment if you wish! Or come say hey to me on the Tumblr.
> 
> https://why-do-i-like-you-ya-dumb-bean.tumblr.com/
> 
> So this more info thing. A while back an anon on my tumbles asked me where the rest of the gang is. And I've kind of answered it sort of in this story. BUT that I really want to do and will do eventually is build onto this world of sorts with the others. Explore their lives at their respective colleges. And of course ONE DAY a group spring break story. So yeah. Keep an eye out for that one day.
> 
> Stay safe everyone!


	17. Boundaries

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy reading everyone!

Janis awoke to the sound of rustling by the foot of her bed. When her eyes finally opened she found Regina, her girlfriend, rummaging in her first-aid kit.

"Reggie did you burn yourself again?" Janis asked sitting up, worried. She looked to her neck and saw a dark circle of a mark. What the fu -oh sweet gay jesus  _ no _ she didn't. Regina's slight annoyed look gave her the answer. Janis couldn't help but rub the back of her neck. "Sorry about that. I guess I got  _ a little _ carried away last night." 

Regina cocked an eyebrow at Janis. "I  _ want _ to be mad at you but it made my head spin in a good way so you'll get a pass for now. Maybe visible marks should be saved for Fridays and Saturdays?"

"I'm cool with that.” Janis chuckled. “Are you looking for the burn cream?"

"Yeah my concealer isn't doing the trick. I figured if it could hide a  _ burn _ it could hide a hickey." Regina giggled. "Also sorry for just going through this. I didn't want to wake you." 

"It's okay. I meant to tell you a while ago that the first-aid stuff is for both of us. You don't need to ask." Janis said swinging her legs off the bed and onto the floor. She got up and went to Regina's side, who still hadn't found the cream. The kit was a bit of a mess so it was understandable. The punk spotted it immediately and snagged it out of the kit. The blonde smiled at her and reached for but the brunette pulled it out of reach. "Gotta pay a  _ finder's fee _ ." She chuckled and wiggled her eyebrows, remembering the line used on her yesterday. 

Without hesitation Regina pulled Janis into a deep kiss that left the punk dizzy by the time the Plastic pulled away. "Gladly." The blonde said cockily, before placing a gentle kiss on the brunette's cheek. Janis knew she must have a dumbfounded look on her face because Regina just smirked at her and let out a satisfied hum. She went back to her side of the room to continue getting ready for her 8am.

Janis practically stumbled back to her bed. She felt blush all over her body and now  _ all _ she wanted to do was throw Regina down on the bed and make out with her. That's how Regina ended up with a mark on her neck. They actually tried watching  _ The Princess Bride _ after dinner yesterday. The blonde seemed genuinely interested in a film that apparently everyone had watched  _ except _ for her. They had resumed their previous cuddle position but with less tension and more playing with hair and nuzzling. To Janis’s surprise they made it all the way to Westley being captured before Regina started running one of her pointer fingers up and down Janis’s thigh. The poor brunette made it about a  _ whole _ minute before losing her composer and flipping them so Janis was straddling Regina’s hips. The punk had been  _ very _ proud of herself when the Plastic seemingly lost her ability to speak after the action. 

After that, things got a little heated and handsy. Not that either of the girls had complaints. But Janis did stop them before things got any farther than their pre tater tot makeout session. Regina had seemed a little surprised that the brunette had pulled the plug. But Janis explained that taking their time might be for the best or that was what her gut was telling her. She didn’t see any reason to rush and since Regina had been hesitant before. She didn’t want her to feel like she needed to rush herself on Janis’s behalf.

Janis almost thought she had said the wrong thing because she had noticed Regina’s eye had glazed over like she was about to cry. But instead the blonde thanked her and pulled her down into a hug that felt like there was a different kind of weight to it, like the blonde’s entire being was thankful. It reminded her of hugs she and Damian had given to each other after very tough days and weeks. It made her feel trusted, like she was protecting the girl under her. She felt so lucky in that moment.

She felt lucky now too. She let her gaze fall onto her girlfriend.  _ Holy shit _ her girlfriend. Janis was rightfully still adjusting to the feeling of thinking it. Saying it was going to be a completely different matter. The girls had decided that they’d tell their respective people back home and then have a big FaceTime to essentially peacock around as a couple on one screen for their friends. Regina seemed pretty sure that they had their own little group chat.

She watched Regina struggle with the burn cream for a few moments before getting out of bed. She grabbed her chair like their first day. 

"Do you need help?" Janis asked smugly. She kind of felt bad but she also was pretty proud of herself.

" _ No _ , I can do it  _ myself _ ." Regina sassed. The grey eyed girl watched as the green eyed girl's hands shook. The cream went over the hickey but it was uneven as hell. When the blonde tried to correct and smooth it only got worse. She huffed and handed the cream to Janis’s, who had a shit eating grin on her face. “Just  _ fix _ it.” Regina demanded with a sour look on her face. Janis reached past the blonde to snag a makeup cloth. She gently wiped the cream away and leaned into her girlfriend.

“As you wish.” Janis whispered against Regina’s ear before moving her face lower and placing a gentle kiss on the burgundy mark. She glanced up and was satisfied to see the adorable girl next to her was red faced and looking a little dazed. The brunette quickly put a dot of burn cream on her finger and swiped an even amount over the mark. Unlike the last time they were in this situation Janis had no fear of staying close to the other girl. She also changed how she helped the cream dry. The punk unable to hide how  _ smug _ she was at her frazzled girlfriend, kept the distance between them as minimal as possible and gently blew on cream. Janis watched the hair raised on Regina’s neck and suppressed a chuckle when the Plastic’s breath hitched. Janis repeated the action a few more times, until the cream had dried. “There we go.” She said with a smirk.

Janis was a little surprised though when she found Regina, still red faced, but smirking back at her. Then in a flash the blonde was on the brunette's lap. "Thanks Jan." Regina said before leaning in to kiss Janis. The blonde's hands quickly made their way to the nape of the brunette's neck and to her undercut, scratching lightly. Janis happily wrapped her hands around Regina's waist and pulled their bodies closer together. Both the girls let out a satisfied hum and deepened their kiss. 

A shiver shot down Janis's spine when Regina broke the kiss and moved her mouth to rest against the brunette's ear. "I want to give you a  _ thank you _ gift." The blonde husked. Janis's brain went into such a spiral due to the sensations that it took Regina's teeth sinking into the skin right under for her to gasp and pull her girlfriend off. 

"Regina  _ Blaire _ !" Janis squawked. 

“Janis Namoi I’m not  _ done _ with your gift.” Regina said in a low wicked tone, with an even more wicked smile. The blonde leaned down and kissed Janis again but this time moved her hands to roam over the punk’s chest. The brunette couldn’t stop a moan from escaping her lips, which cued the blonde to return to her ear. “It’s an eye for an eye Janjan.” Regina whispered innocently. Janis’s entire body jolted as Regina latched her lips to that same spot under her ear and feverishly sucked at the skin.

“Re-Re-Reggie I’m  _ sorry _ .” Janis managed to whimper out before completely losing herself. All she could do was cling tighter to Regina’s waist to keep herself on this planet. Stupid ears. The former queen bee was still  _ a little _ vindictive. But if the actions were going to make her head spin like this then she’d  _ happily _ deal with it. But also it wouldn’t be Regina without a little bit of this. Janis somehow found the strength to roll her eyes. This was her girlfriend and she-lov-really really really liked her. The Giver of revenge hickeys.

It felt like a year had gone by before Regina stopped the playful torture of Janis’s chest and detached her mouth with a pop. “ _ Oooh _ geez.” Regina giggled and wrinkled her nose looking a little remorseful as she moved off Janis and back to her own chair. 

Janis’s mouth dropped open in shock. It was already darker than Regina’s. It was nearly purple. “Regina Blaire George!” The brunette shouted. 

Regina just smirked and put her hands up. “Jan I’ll admit I got  _ a little _ carried away. You just got all  _ squirmy _ and  _ whinny _ and it drove me crazy. Making  _ you _ melt wasn’t something I expected to be so hot.”

“Is this going to be our relationship?  _ Flustering _ each other until one of us melts?” Janis asked, trying to sound annoyed.

“Honestly that sounds fun as hell.” Regina chuckled, applying concealer over the burn cream and blending it. The grey eyed girl waited patiently, pouting at the green eyed girl’s reflection so see her protruding lip. When their eyes met the blonde just rolled hers. “Come  _ on _ Janis if the roles were reversed you would have done something very similar.”

“I…” Janis started but stopped knowing Regina was right. “Yeah  _ okay _ yes I have done something similar… And  _ yes _ that does sound really fun. But after today  _ no more _ visible marks when we have classes the next day.”

“I already said that Jan.” Regina sassed playfully.

“I know I’m just reinforcing it.” Janis said. More to remind herself. Regina got that mark because once the blonde had her hands under Janis’s shirt she just lost it a bit and wanted to make her girlfriend gasp and whined and squirm. She got what she wanted but  _ did _ forget in the moment that they had class the following morning.

“Whatever you say babe.” Regina said absentmindedly. Janis’s eyes shot up to the mirror and found the blonde trying to form words. “I-um-I mean Jan-Janis-fuck sorry-Jan.” Regina pinched the bridge of her nose. “Sorry I know it’s early for pet names.”

“If you want to call me that it’s okay with me. Maybe not in front of others but that’s just a preference of mine. But when it’s just you and me I wouldn’t mind being called babe whenever it feels right to you to call me that.” Janis said honestly.

“Really? It’s not too soon for you?” Regina asked skeptically.

“Reg before the bad times we never called each other by our full names. And once we really rekindled our friendship here we’ve only been calling each other our nicknames. Have you noticed in the last day that we’ve called each other Reggie and Janjan more than anything else and before that we  _ only _ used those when we were drunk and flirty. I guess this is just the natural progression now that all our feelings are out and we’re  _ girlfriends _ . I think pet names are fine… Is there anything in particular that you’d like to be called?”

“I’ll have to think on it. Is babe really okay? I can call you something different if you want.” Regina said in a borderline panicked tone. 

It hurt Janis’s heart so much to see Regina so worried that she got up and took her girlfriend’s face into her hand. “Babe is perfect. It feels right. Call me it all you like when it’s you and me.” Janis leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on Regina’s lips. “Now finish getting ready so you’re not late for class.”

***********

After Regina left for class Janis laid on her bed for what felt like forever thinking about the last twenty-four hours. Regina was her girlfriend.  _ Regina George _ . Life Ruiner. Former Best Friend. Scum Sucking Fart Mouth. Her First Crush. Her Gaywakening. One of her current Best Friends. Her First Love. Wait  _ no _ it was too early for that. 

But what she couldn’t get off of her mind was what pet name that immediately came to her mind. What she had to stop herself from calling Regina when the blonde excitedly bounced over to her before leaving for class and called her ‘Babe’ for the second time before practically skipping out the door. It was cute and endearing and just fueled the pet name echoing around her head. Love. That’s what she wanted to call Regina. 

It was what her parents called each other. When she was little she thought it was  _ dumb _ just like any other child and teen. But it was after Janis had witnessed one of her uncle’s PTSD flashbacks that resulted in Janis’s dad getting a black eye to protect her mom that she really tuned into how they said it. It was after her dad had gotten back from dropping his uncle to an inpatient clinic, at his own request, that she finally  _ felt _ what they were saying.

When her dad had returned from the clinic and her mom shot up from the couch and nearly knocked that exhausted looking man over with the force of jumping into his arms, the then fifteen year old, _ really _ noticed the tenderness in her dad’s tone when he asked with a chuckle.“You missed me that much Love?” Her mom just laughed and gently cradled the size of his face with the black eye. “How about I get you a bag of peas for that eye Love?” Her voice was just as soft. There was this gentle force that sort of circled around them for the next month or so. Janis finally noticed that those looks that she used to roll her eyes at thinking it was just flat out goo goo eyes, was actually something more. It was trust, happiness, peace, thankfulness, and of course love. She figured maybe that’s why they choose the name for one another because maybe nothing else felt strong enough for them.

Love. It’s all Janis could think about as a  _ proper _ pet name for Regina. She felt all those things she saw in her parents. But it was just  _ way _ too early. So she hoped that Regina would think of some other pet name and wait for it to be more appropriate to call her Love. Janis shook her foot eagerly at the idea. But she  _ had _ to be careful. She pretty much told Regina how she felt yesterday by accident.  _ Love-ly times _ . Jesus fucking  _ christ _ it was so cringey. And now the Plastic knew what ‘As you wish.’ meant. Regina didn’t seem fazed but Janis didn’t want to just leap in head first and scare the blonde off. 

This was really her first serious relationship ever and Regina first serious one with a girl. They had already set some boundaries. Regina being so A type, put them in the notes of  _ both _ their phones. Janis teased Regina a bit about having the list on their phones but was legitimately happy that they set them and that they agreed on most everything without needing a lengthy discussion. She opened her notes and read them over.

  1. ****Bed sharing for a full night’s sleep are on Friday and Saturday nights ONLY (exceptions made for long weekends)
  2. NO skipping class or PASS meetings for quality time. 
  3. ****Maintaining current social life is important. (no flaking on friends to just cuddle and makeout)
  4. ****Academics come first.
  5. ****Negative emotions are normal and valid.
  6. ****Acceptable PDA: Hand holding, hugs, arms around waists, quick kisses, leg and arm touches. (sneaky PDA to be discussed further)
  7. ****Arguments should be in private.
  8. ****Purposeful separation and alone time is important and needed.
  9. ****OPEN COMMUNICATION!
  10. ****You are your own person.



Janis hesitated before reading the last one. It made her gut twist in a bunch of different directions. It was something that Janis agreed with but she just wished it wasn’t in writing. But it was something Regina expressed as something very important for her to have listed, though it was uncomfortable to think about.

  1. ****If feelings change or fade, be upfront about it as soon as you can.



Janis in this moment couldn’t see these feelings fading ever but reading it scared her. She knew its purpose. Regina had dragged Aaron along and she knew it hurt him. She told Janis this was mainly a reminder for her, though like Janis, she couldn’t imagine her feelings fading for the punk. It was just one of those uncomfortable necessities. But the girls also promised to talk about the boundaries with their therapists to make sure they weren’t too much.

The brunette looked at the list one more time and felt oddly proud of herself and Regina. This seemed like a very healthy thing to do. Thankfully for her she didn’t need to wait too long for her session with Mya.  _ Oh shit _ . Janis checked her phone. Her session with Mya was in  _ half an hour _ . She completely spaced out.

Janis leaped out of bed, threw off her clothes, and grabbed all her shower things. As she walked down the hall she sent Mya a text.

**8:31 Janis:** Will be on time but camera won’t be on for a few minutes. Might have spaced out. Getting in shower now. SO MANY THINGS HAPPENED YESTERDAY. SO MANY GOOD THINGS!

The best thing about having her sessions at 9am was that she was the first of the day for Mya so her replies were quick. Just as the water got hot her phone pinged.

**8:33 Mya:** HELL YEAH JANIS I CANNOT WAIT!!!

Janis smiled down at her phone and hopped into the shower.

***************

Janis’s session with Mya was entering it’s half point when she finally got around to the most important part of the last twenty-four hours. She and Mya got off track a few times and into squealing fits. 

Regina had been an ever changing subject in Janis’s therapy with Mya. The emotions were ever changing and it always put the brunette as ease that Mya seemed to roll with it and just tacked on reminders and theory to behaviors. Janis had been nervous for her first session after starting at Bethany. It was the Monday after the second week and she had already run the gamut of emotions. But Mya took in everything and like a magic genie sorted through everything. She reinforced that her feelings were valid but just reminded her about past behaviors of Regina’s that were problematic and to keep an eye out for them. It was a good reminder. Her second session at Bethany was the Monday after Regina came out. That was a very interesting session with Mya because it was such a rollercoaster explaining that within forty-eight hours things went from really tense because of Regina’s angry side had made an appearance, to an actual argument, to an apology, to hours of bonding, to Regina maybe drunkenly flirting with her, to coming out to her, to Regina confessing her feeling about Syd, and topping it off with Janis using clay tutoring as an excuse to leave when she felt hurt and jealous. Mya couldn’t help but chuckle at the girl and surprisingly agreed with all the advice she had gotten from Nielsen and Ashley.

So now Janis took a deep breath before she read the last boundary to Mya. 

“Number eleven… If feelings change or fade, be upfront about it as soon as you can… That one scares me.” Janis said, chewing her bottom lip.

Mya gave her a knowing look. “Why?”

“I don’t  _ want _ my feelings or her feelings to fade.” Janis whined. “We just got here and having it in my face scares me. But Regina asked for it because of how she was with her ex slash our friend now Aaron. She dragged him along for a while and she knows she hurt him pretty bad. She said it was a reminder she didn’t really think she needed with how she felt about me but thought we should have just so it was there from the beginning.”

“I think she’s right. Many couples don’t want to talk about the idea of it ending but I think her asking for that to be a core of this relationship is a _ very _ good sign.” Mya stated in an encouraging tone.

“But it  _ scares _ me. I don’t want it to end. This just started.” Janis said, feeling very overwhelmed. 

“Janis, you  _ know _ that’s not the point of the rule.” Mya said gently. “This is a very mature thing to do, to not just sweep that concept under the rug. But also remember there’s another word there. Change. That  _ doesn’t _ have to be a negative. You can also look at this positively. This could encourage both of you to share your feelings as they grow stronger. I think, if it was just a safety net for the negative end, fade would have been the only word. I  _ know _ it’s scary to think about but just try to think about it as something very mature to do. All together I’m  _ very _ proud of the both of you for setting all these boundaries so quickly!”

Janis pondered Mya’s words for a minute. She had a point. The brunette thought about the word change. “Mya I don’t think my feelings are going to make a big change anytime soon.”

“What do you mean?” Mya inquired.

“I… I think I’m already in love with Regina.” Janis said with shame lacing her words. She felt so  _ dumb _ and crazy. She didn’t want to be a U-Haul lesbian and scare Regina off. “I know that’s  _ ridiculous _ but we’ve already said really deep things to each other and been like super mushy. And  _ fuck _ when she called me Babe this morning all I wanted to do was call her Love like my parents call each other.” Janis’s heart was racing. She was crazy. Her emotions were moving too fast. Mya had to think that. “Am I being like a super crazy clingy person? I feel like I  _ am _ . I-”

“Janis take a breath.” Mya said firmly. “You’re  _ not _ being crazy. You’ve known Regina since you were  _ three _ . You’ve had feelings for her for the better part of your life, whether you were aware of them or not. We’ve talked about that. In my opinion, feeling as though you might already be in love with someone you’ve known  _ so _ long, and have had non-platonic feelings for as long as you have, does  _ not _ sound crazy. Can I tell you a story? I think it’ll help.”

“Sure.” Janis said gently. Her heart was slowing down now. Mya’s words made sense.

“My fiance that I’ve mentioned to you before…” Mya took a deep breath and looked a little nervous. “I fell in love with her on our third date.” Janis’s mouth dropped open. “We met at a psychology conference in Chicago. We had been talking for about an hour at our table when she asked me if I wanted to get drinks after. We got drinks and talked for five hours. I asked for her number and we realized we were from around the same area so when we were leaving I took a chance and kissed her and asked if she’d like to go out on a date. Our first date was less than a week later. Our second date only was a few days after that. That third date was the day after that. We were talking about our shared love for cats and tea and queer theory in relation to Disney and I just  _ knew _ . I asked her to be my girlfriend after our fourth date. I took the chance of seeming too eager but also made it clear saying no would be fine. But she was all for it. This woman just stumbled into my life by chance. But I knew what I was feeling. That was two years ago Janis and I don’t regret a thing. Society makes us think that it’s really crazy but it’s not. The opposite is  _ also _ not crazy. Non-platonic feelings can be  _ very _ complicated and can move at a million different paces. Your feelings are  _ valid _ Janis. I promise. You’re  _ not _ crazy for already feeling this way for Regina after knowing her for literally  _ five sixths _ of your life.” Mya’s last sentence though soothing and correct, didn’t quell a new fear swelling in her.

“But  _ when _ did you tell her you loved her? Mya I’m so scared of that. I think me and Reg are both aware that we have very  _ strong _ feelings for each other but like  _ when _ do I say it. I’ve been saying as you wish since she came out to me and she said I can fix that to me right before we kissed. And we’ve  _ both _ said I really really really like you in some way, shape, or form  _ multiple times _ to each other. Sometimes I think she’s in love with me right now too but we haven’t even been girlfriends for a whole day!” Janis was speaking a mile a minute.

“Well to answer your question I said it a few days after our one month anniversary. We didn’t really do anything special. We both ended up getting each other our favorite snacks and meeting up at Taco Bell for dinner. I really wanted to say it then but I just chickened out. The next time we saw each other I was so nervous I started getting all jumpy and when I was dropping her off at her apartment she said goodnight and I love you.” Mya said with a big dumb smile on her face.

“ _ Wait _ , you  _ didn’t _ say it first?!” Janis yelled.

“Nope. I said it right back and nearly tackled her in the passenger's seat but yeah she got to it first.” Mya said casually. “After I proposed to her last month we actually talked about that night. She confessed she could tell how I felt. Since she felt the same she decided that she wanted to do it when it felt natural. Our anniversary didn’t feel right so those few days later when I was being so uneasy it really drove home that I felt the same so she thought doing it at a casual but private time would be best.” Mya looked at her with gentle, knowing eyes. “So Janis you don’t have to  _ rush _ to say it even when you know what you’re feeling. But if you wanted to say it tonight that’s okay too. Just do it when you’re ready. Number eleven  _ states _ that. As soon as you  _ can _ . If you can’t, meaning you’re still too nervous, then you can’t. No biggy. Regina really seems to have grown so much. Her therapy must be going really well. If she’s also going to chat with her therapist about it that’s even better. You two are really going about it in a very mature way. Would you mind if I share the concept of the list with a few of our colleagues? No specifics obviously but with our office having mainly clients your age it could really help.”

“Mya, I would be honored as hell! But don’t give me a lot of the credit, it was Regina’s idea. I just helped pick the boundaries.”

“Don’t  _ discredit _ yourself like that!” Mya scolded. “You could have also shot down the idea  _ entirely _ , but you didn’t. You even agreed to one that scares you. It being her idea or not  _ isn’t _ the important part! What’s important is that you were  _ open _ to the concept and then worked  _ with _ her to create it. Fun fact when I first started, I was a couples counselor and I could  _ barely _ get them to agree to your number nine and ten. You’re  _ both _ getting credit when I tell my colleagues about it! Names, ages, gender, orientation, etcetera excluded of course.” Mya sped through her last sentence.

“Thanks Mya. I feel so much better about this. You always know the right thing to say.” Janis said in a grateful tone. The brunette was at peace. She’d wait for the right moment no matter when that was.

“Welp I didn’t go into  _ massive _ debt for nothing.” Mya laughed. “Alrighty let’s see we normally do every three weeks but then we’d miss an opportunity for an in person when you’re home on break. So do you want to wait an extra week or just have an extra?”

“How about an extra but have one in two weeks because then two weeks after is break?”

“Sounds amazing. Same times and days.”

“Yep yep!”

“Awesome! Welp then I will talk to you in two weeks and see you in four! Bye Janis!” Mya said excitedly.

“Bye Mya.” Janis smiled and waved. Once the call ended, Janis flopped back on her bed and checked the time. She had eight minutes until her PASS meeting. She set an alarm for 9:58. Janis chuckled to herself. Good thing Phillips was right next to the Learning Center.

For a moment there was peace and then Janis’s eyes shot open. She hadn’t  _ covered _ the hickey yet. Janis leaped out of bed and ran to her closet. She was going to be  _ a few  _ minutes late for PASS.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed the chapter! Thank you for reading! Leave a comment if you wish to or come say hey on my tumblr!
> 
> https://why-do-i-like-you-ya-dumb-bean.tumblr.com/
> 
> Please be safe out there!


	18. Halloween

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy reading! 
> 
> There may be a few more errors than usual because I had to edit on my phone because I am without a laptop for a bit.
> 
> D slur used twice.

Regina stood stoically in Syd’s room as the purple haired girl circled her, eyeing her up sternly. This was all at the blonde’s request after a suggestion from Greta yesterday during their session to have a close friend remind her of what she would and wouldn’t like to do when drinking on Halloween. Greta probably wouldn’t have suggested Syd circling her like a shark but Regina thought it could help.

“What are you _not_ going to do with Janis tonight?” Syd asked out of the blue.

“Have sex with her?” The blonde said confidentiality.

“And why is that?” Syd followed up.

“Because I want my first time with her to be sober and I want to remember everything.” Regina said nodding her head.

“Good. What are you _not_ going to say to Janis tonight?” Syd prodded.

Regina's throat went dry. This was the thing she was _more_ worried about then having drunk sex with Janis. She’d stopped herself from saying _fourteen_ _times_ already since Monday morning. Yes she was keeping track. It was _ridiculous_ that she already felt it. They haven’t even been girlfriends for a week yet.

“Come on _Princess_ I’m waiting for my answer." Syd said sternly. "What are you _not_ going to say to Janis tonight?”

“I love you.” Regina said quietly.

“Good. What are safe things to say.”

“You’re amazing. You’re wonderful. Fuck you’re so _fucking_ pretty.”

“Good. Now what are you going to do if you do have sex or say I love you to her?” Syd asked.

Regina froze. This was not in their little script. “Syd that _isn’t_ important.”

“Regina that’s the _most_ important part of this. You can chant 'don't do it's' all you want to yourself but that’s _not_ how psychology works. Alcohol makes people honest. You frantically trying to squash your desires like this isn’t going to work.” The purple haired girl was right.

“Then what the _fuck_ am I supposed to do?!” Regina asked, turning frantic. 

“Well _first off_ the sex thing should just be talked about with Janis. You know Janis, your girlfriend. The girl with the face you so _desperately_ want to sit on.” Syd said, quirking an eyebrow.

“ _SYD_!”

“What?! I’m only stating the truth. The other day when Janis was eating ice cream I thought you were going to _dive_ across the table and jump her bones.” Syd said truthfully, ceasing her circling.

“Well fucking _hell_!” Regina said, throwing up her arms. 

“Reg the sex thing is easy to settle. If you want it to be when you’re sober, tell her that." Syd placed a hand on Regina's shoulder and gave it a squeeze. "I mean she already knows that but now that you’re together remind her that it’s still a thing. You _know_ she’s going to be fine with it. Lay out exactly how far you are okay with going to tonight, if you want to do it at all.”

“Okay fine that makes sense. But what about the other thing?" Regina's heart started to race. "Syd it’s _too_ soon! If I say it tonight she’ll break up with me and then I’ll have to move out and I’ll lose her!

“Regina.” Syd said softly, leading the shaking blonde to her desk chair. “Has it occurred to you yet that Janis’s might _already_ feel the same?”

“Yes _but_ I just don’t think it’s very plausible.” Regina folded her arms across her chest.

“I think it’s _very_ plausible." Syd said. "What did you say she said about her feelings for you?”

“That she’s had them for like ever. Even when we weren’t friends.” The blonde mumbled.

“That’s right. That’s just as long as you. Plus she’s actually been aware of them for years. You guys talked about her realizing she was gay _and_ having feeling for you all at once. When was that?” Syd raised an eyebrow.

“Seventh grade.” The Plastic sighed.

“That’s right. So _stop_ letting your intrusive thoughts convince you that there’s no way she could already feel the same. Just acknowledge you feel that way and move on! The _more_ you act like it’s a bad thing the more likely it is that _drunk_ Regina will say it. It’s okay to feel this way! If you say it, you say it. Janis isn’t going to _break up_ with you if you say and she’s not there yet. Falling in love is the reason people get in relationships. That’s the point! I understand why you’re scared but I’m telling you that shaming yourself for feeling this way is only going to make it harder to keep it to yourself. So accept it. You _love_ Janis Sarkisian. And from what I can tell she loves you back. So just take a chill and enjoy tonight. Let’s get drunk and _win_ the group costume contest at Sigma Nu!” Syd said, shaking her fists excitedly.

Regina looked at Syd with sparkling eyes. She chuckled to yourself about _how_ wrong her first impression of her was. She’s glad she gave the purple haired girl a chance. Other than Janis she was her most trusted friend there.

*********************

It was around 7pm and Regina and Janis were starting to get ready for Sigma Nu’s Halloween party. The Super Crew were all going as Disney Villains: Kelly as Judge Frolo, Lauren as Ezma, Olivia as the Queen of Hearts, Barb as Captain Hook, Herb as Governor Ratcliffe, Doris as Mother Gothel, Syd as Ursula, Regina as Hades, and Janis as Maleficent. 

Regina _may_ or _may not_ have thought of the idea and pestered everyone to pick someone back in September so they could start the hunt for the necessities. She also asked her parents for a little financial help in getting all of it together. Thankfully when they went thrifting the crew found a lot of what they were looking for so her parents ended up only needing to send a lot body paint and temporary hair dye, some fancy hats, and a some yards of fabric. 

The crew spent the whole week leading up to Halloween working like _crazy_ to finish everything. Thankfully between Olivia, Doris, and Barb, who were all sewing machine queens, Janis being the artist genius that she was, and everyone else helping where they could, the Super Crew had finished up all the costumes by Friday night. 

Regina had just taken out her blue body paint when she remembered Syd’s suggestion, really more a demand, to talk about not getting frisky. She was standing in front of her mirror and Janis had just taken her shirt off. Oh sweet gay goddesses. Regina gulped. “H-hey Jan can I talk to you about something?”

“Of course.” Janis said casually, eyes on Regina. 

“I… Well I was wondering if it’d be okay if… I mean… I don’t want to sound _stupid_ or _childish_ … I-”

Janis was behind Regina, wrapping her arms around the Plastic’s waist loosely as soon as the blonde’s first sentence didn’t make it out completely. Regina shivered and felt tingly when Janis placed a gentle kiss on her shoulder. “Whatever it is I can guarantee it’s _not_ stupid or childish. I can tell by your voice that this is important to you.” Janis grey eyes were strong but soft in the reflection of the mirror.

Regina looked down for a moment before looking back up to allow their eyes to meet. She took a long breath. “I don’t want our first time having sex to be tonight when were drunk.”

“Okay. Sounds good to me.” Janis immediately responded, with a casual tone and a gentle smile. She placed a kiss on Regina's other shoulder before relinquishing her grasp on the blonde and taking the short steps to her own closet where all of her costume stuff was.

“Janis I’m sorry.” Regina whispered.

“Why? There’s no need to be.” Janis said gently facing her.

“But you-”

“But me what?" Janis questioned not allowing Regina to finish. "I know how you feel about sex and drinking. Honestly I think it’s a great mindset.”

“But we’re dating now.” The blonde mumbled looking down.

“And?”

“And…”

“ _Regina_ , this might not be written down but I know that’s a boundary of yours and I am one hundred percent on board with it. What I think or feel doesn’t matter on this matter. _Especially_ that we’re dating now. I want to respect _all_ of your boundaries. In my opinion as soon as someone says no to sex, be it in the moment or in advance, it’s over and done with until both parties consent to it happening again." Janis was giving her a serious look. "I am fine with us not having sex tonight. So long as we’re dating I’ll _always_ respect that. I’m _never_ be mad if you don’t want to have sex for whatever reason.”

“But Jan I’ve already made you wait like _a week_. And on Wednesday I got nervous again and stopped us.” Regina felt tears pricking in her eyes as shame washed over her. “I’m sor-”

Janis cut her off by wrapping Regina in a tight hug. “Don’t you _dear_ apologize. I’m not going to let you shame yourself for something like this.” Janis pulled away just enough for their eyes to meet. Janis moved a hand to her waist and the other to cup the green eyed girl’s cheek. Regina shivered in the grasp because those grey eyes were full of so much intensity and yet so soft. The Plastics’s heart was racing. “Regina…” Janis started and glanced down for a moment. “Regina, I love you.” 

The blonde’s heart stopped. "What?" Regina asked in a dazed tone.

Janis paused. She looked so nervous. “I love you. I'll wait as long and patiently as you need me to until you're ready. And it’s _because_ I love you and respect you that I’ll wait and not let you shame yourself for wanting to wait.”

Regina’s brain stopped working. The only thing that seemed to work were her eyes at producing tears. Her brain registered Janis’s eyes becoming impossibly more gentle as both the punks thumbs came to her cheeks and wiped away her tears. It was just like when she fell out of the tree.

Janis was talking again “I know it’s early to be saying that but it’s just how I feel. I know it’s probably going to take time for you-”

Regina stopped Janis’s silly statement with her lips. It was with so much force she heard a light thud. Janis’s back must have hit their closet. _Holy shit_. It was a miracle. Janis loved her back. Regina pulled back only a few inches. "I love you too Janis." The blonde said proudly. She watched the brunette’s eyes light up and Regina thought she might be in heaven. “I love you.” She whispered before pulling the punk into another kiss. She felt Janis wrapping her arms around her waist pulling her closer. Regina hummed happily and brought her hands to either side of Janis’s face. She teased the skin right under Janis’s ears and giggled when the punk twitched.

“Reggie, _don't_ start this, we have to get ready.” Janis whined as she rested her head against the closet door. 

Regina, loving the reactions she pulled from her girlfriend, moved her fingers away only to invade the other girl's space just quickly enough to snag one of the brunette’s earlobes between her teeth. “ _Fiiine_ .” The blonde sighed with the lobe still trapped. The action elicited an _obscenely_ wanton whine from the punk. As she was pulling away to start her makeup, Janis took hold of both her wrists. 

Regina caught the faintest of smirks on her girlfriend’s lips. Before she could process what was happening she was being spun around. The blonde couldn’t help but let her jaw slack a bit as her back hit the closet. Janis still had her wrists but they were pinned above her head. The brunette seemingly pleased with the blonde’s reaction leaned in so she was just barely an inch from the other’s lips. “You’re lucky.” Janis chuckled darkly. “You're _lucky_ that we have to get ready right now. But _know_ that I’ll get you back. _Not_ tonight, probably not tomorrow, _maybe_ not even this week. But when I do, you’re going to _melt_ .” Janis' voice was dripping with a lust that she had never heard before and Regina felt her knees going weak. Heat was rushing all through her body. Fucking _hell_ her girlfriend was so hot. Like super-mega-foxy-awesome-hot levels. All Regina could think of now were the many ways she would love for Janis to exact her revenge. 

But like a flash Janis’s face shifted into softness with a sweet smile. The punk released the Plastic’s wrist and cupped the dazed girl’s face. “You’re so cute.” Janis whispered. She leaned in giving the blonde a quick kiss. “I love you.” She said tenderly.

“I love you too.” Regina said back. She pushed off the closet and wrapped her arms around Janis’s waist, nuzzling her head into the brunette’s chest. 

The punk responded with a giggle while she ran her fingers through the Plastic’s hair. Regina hummed and sighed. She was so happy.

*************

The Super Crew didn’t end up getting as drunk as they had planned to when they talked about it during their test run last weekend. After seeing each other all together in their costumes they realized if they got shamamered to hell that all their hard work would get wrecked. So they got about as drunk as they did last Saturday… Which was still _pretty_ drunk. Sigma Nu was the only Frat that was off campus. The walk after pregaming was quite the trek.

Regina was having an amazing time. She felt so powerful as a sexy Hades. With _a lot_ of hair spray she got her to stand like flames. The toga got a deep v neck and though the skirt part was long there was a _very_ high slit. So she showed quite a bit of skin. Just because she wasn’t a raging bitch anymore didn’t mean she wasn’t going to try and be the hottest person at the party. Though when she saw Janis in her completed Maleficent costume she thought the brunette would give her a run for her money. She took the green skin from the original but the wardrobe was more inspired by Angelina’s Maleficent. Regina _wasn’t_ complaining. The couple had gawked at each other for what felt like several minutes that was until the rest of the crew came banging on their door.

But now it was getting close to 1am and everyone was starting to get tired and handsy with each other. It looked like Mickey Mouse Clubhouse after dark. They had won the group costume contest. The crew had made it up from the basement and it seemed like everyone had found a person to ogle at. 

Regina noted that Olivia had found that boy TJ and they were being pretty cute. He was Geordi from Star Trek New Gen. Olivia was snuggled up to him and he was telling her _awful_ Halloween dad jokes. Kelly and Marcus were just making out. Herb and Doris were essentially having a wedding ceremony _in character_ with Barb’s big brother officiating. Speaking of Barb, they seemed to have disappeared, as well as Lauren right around the same time. Hmm. Syd had found a new lap to sit on this weekend. It was a girl from the basketball team named Mak or something like that. They had been flirting and randomly kissing all night. 

Regina and Janis were crammed into an oddly small loveseat. They had been murmuring compliments and I love yous to each other since sitting down, really the whole night. The crew -with the exception of Barb and Lauren- were all in a common area waiting for a ride. Sigma Nu and their sister sorority had set up a number of sober people to drive so everyone got home safe.

“You’re so pretty.” Regina sighed dreamily at Janis. She wasn’t sure how many times she had said it but she _really_ didn't care.

“Well you’re the prettiest.” Janis murmured back dopeily smiling. Regina leaned in to kiss her girlfriend for the umpteenth time that night when a voice came from in front of them.

“ _Oh_ , you’re just a _fucking_ dyke. No wonder you didn’t want _all_ of this.” the voice snarled. Regina’s head whipped to the person in front of her and saw it was none other than the _gross_ boy from Greek Hill that didn’t respect the word No. “So you’re a _muff muncher_ . Bet you just haven’t gotten it _good enough_ from a guy.” He looked rough like he was about to fall over.

“Excuse me, _what_ did you say dickwad?” Janis growled getting out from under Regina and standing.

The boy laughed. “You heard me bitch. I called her a _dyke_ . And you must be her _dykey_ little girlfriend.”

Regina instinctively reached for Janis’s hand to pull her back but the brunette stepped away from the blonde and into the douchebag’s space. “I _must_ have cotton in my ears.” Janis said sarcastically. “ _Please_ say that one more time for me _just_ so I know I heard you clearly.” Janis challenged. 

The room had fallen quiet and the Crew’s attention was on Janis and the guy. Regina glanced around and saw that Marcus was ready to go if need be. Barb and Lauren had returned but Barb’s brother had disappeared. Regina looked back at Janis. Though the guy had about half a foot on her, he seemed uneasy. The tension was _thick_. Janis had gotten into a small handful of fights when they were freshmen and sophomores. She could hold her own… for a bit.

“I said-”

“Okay, _okay_ break it up kids.” Came a voice from behind Janis and the guy.

The douchebag whipped around to see who had interrupted his pissing contest. It was the… Grim Reaper? Regina _must_ have been hallucinating. As she looked around the room and saw that everyone else looked just as confused she realized she wasn’t. “Who the _fuck_ are you?” The guy barked. The Grim Reaper had the kind of cloak that came with black mesh over the face.

“Someone who knows your name, what frat you’re in, _and_ has your coaches numbers in their phone.” Said the Reaper, whose voice sounded oddly familiar, yet distorted. The dude froze. “Now I _know_ you don’t need your frat president or advisor knowing that you’re harassing women _again_ and now adding _homophobic slurs_ to the list. And you’re coaches _certainly_ don’t need to know that you’re violating your dry season. Aren’t you supposed to be starting in goal on Monday?”

The apparent soccer player’s shoulder shook with rage. “You wouldn’t _dare_!” He spat.

The Reaper cackled. God, _whose_ laugh was that? Janis had stepped away and back to Regina. They both exchanged a look like they recognized the laugh. “Oh buddy I’ve got _nothing_ to lose.” The Reaper reached into their cloak and pulled out a phone. “Hey google. Call Greg Martin.” There was a pregnant pause and then the room filled with ringing.

“Fuck okay _okay_ ! I’m _sorry_ ! _Please_ hang up!” The douchebag begged.

The Reaper sighed as if their fun had been ruined and the ringing stopped. There was silence for a moment before the Reaper spoke again. “Now… leave the freshmen _alone_ and get out of here.” The guy paused and then fled the room. The Reaper tucked their phone away and spoke again. “Okay I’m here to pick up the Disney Villains group. I assume that’s all of you?” The group nodded. “Okay good. Please follow me.”

With that, the Crew and Marcus followed the Grim Reaper out front to the road where an old Honda Odyssey was sitting. Grim turned around. “I promise I’ve fit more people in this car don’t worry. The backseat is down and you can easily fit six, two in the middle seats, and if you guys have a couple, put them in the front."

"Come on Babe we'll take the front." Regina said with a smile. She grabbed the brunette's hand and dragged her to the front. Janis opened the door and went to sit down but Regina stopped her and pouted. "Why don’t you ever sit on _my_ lap?" The sound of doors opening and hustling bodies registered in her mind.

The brunette tilted her head. “I never thought about it. It just happens that way. But I’ll _gladly_ sit on your lap.” Janis said before pulling Regina into a kiss. 

For the love of all things gay Regina felt so lucky. She threw her arms around her adorable Maleficent to deepen the kiss. This was amaz-

“Hey _lovebirds_ !” Came a voice. The girls pulled apart. “Stop _sucking face_ and get in the fucking car! You can tongue each other in _your room_ ! Get in or I’m taking y’all’s seat and we’re _leaving_ your asses!” Regina finally processed that it was Syd’s drunken voice and saw that everyone was already in the car.

Regina was happy her face was painted because she was blushing like _no_ other. “Sorry guys!” She said sheepishly before getting in the car and pulling Janis into her lap. Janis immediately nuzzled into Regina’s neck and the blonde melted. She’d have to try being the big spoon in cuddles too because Janis nuzzling her was _adorable_.

“Okay kids where are we going on this fine night? Phillips? Cochran? CV? Woolery?” Asked the Reaper. 

“We need to go to CV1 and then Phillips please.” Syd said.

“Sounds good.” said the Reaper, starting the car and heading down the road. “How’s everyone doing? Anyone feeling sick?”

Everyone responded in a chorus of nos. They were all quiet for the short part of their journey until they got onto main campus. Regina looked at Grim and noticed Janis looking at them too. Right as she was about to ask, Janis beat her to it. “Hey why do you sound like I know you? And _why_ are you covering your face?” The brunette asked slightly slurred, pointing at the Reaper. 

Grim turned their head briefly and then looked back to the road. “Plausible deniability.” they said simply. Just as Regina was about to speak up the car came to a stop. “We’ve reached our first stop. If you’re in the back please stay seated until I open the hatch.” Grim got out of the car. 

Regina’s eyes followed the Reaper until Janis’s voice hit her ear, bringing her attention back to the brunette. “Why does their voice sound like I should know them?”

“I don’t know. It sounds like they have a distorter over their mouth. But when they laughed it sounded like someone I know.” Regina mused. She looked into Janis’s eyes and got a little lost. Janis was looking right back at her with a small smile. 

The identity of the Grim Reaper was forgotten. She thought she heard a conversation going on around her but she didn’t really care. There was this gorgeous woman in her lap looking at her with these gentle eyes. To think that the girl on her lap was her girlfriend now still baffled her.

She thought back to the day that she found out Janis had left school. She had been feeling weird all day because it was the first time in the week since ruining Janis’s life that the brunette hadn’t texted her asking her why she did it? She remembered coming home to her mom arguing with her dad, yelling about behavior going too far and seeing a therapist. She remembered her mom approaching her, demanding to know why she would do something like that to Janis. The fury in her mother’s eyes almost made her crack and spill why she really did it. Almost. She remembered lashing out and telling her mom it was “none of her fucking business” and that she had “new better friends” to care about. She remembered her mom storming off and seeing the disappointment in her dad’s eyes. He told her Janis wouldn’t be coming back to school for the rest of the year, maybe not ever. That’s when she went to look for her rock. Like the heavens knew something was up, as soon as she got outside it started to rain. All her new clothes got wrecked but she didn’t care. Tears had run down her cheeks as she frantically searched the backyard. She finally found it under a bush and then placed it between the two big roots of their tree. She cried at the foot of it until the rain stopped. She went to bed in soaked clothes and hair, and salty streaks down her face. When she woke up the next morning she felt different. Colder. And that’s how she stayed… until that godforsaken yet godblessed bus.

Regina was yanked from her thoughts by Syd’s drunken voice again. “Hey _lesbians_ let’s go! Death probably has _real_ shit to do tonight!” Both the blonde and brunette looked to the driver’s side to see Syd leaning in the open driver’s side window cheekily smiling at them. “Am I right Death?”

“That is true. I need to herd more sheep into this hunk of junk and get them home safe.” said Death in a cheery tone.

Regina’s mouth dropped open and could see a similar look on Janis’s face. Before she had time to process everything she felt cool air on her back. Syd had come around the other side.

“Come on ya _weirdos_ stop staring at Death. You have each other to do that to.” Syd said. Regina felt Janis leave her lap and soon felt a hand on her upper arm. Next thing she knew she was out of the car. Syd was holding her arm, giving her a gentle look. “Come _on_ Princess. I know the Grim Reaper and their wagon are cool but we gotta let them go.”

“Sorry Syd.” Regina said as the trio crossed the road. Regina felt a hand slip into hers and smiled. Just as they made it across the street the hand tugged her back a little. She looked at Janis and found her pointing at the Grim Reaper.

“I _know_ who you are.” Janis said. The brunette was definitely trying to sound intimidating, but she was a little too drunk for that and used up all her scary magic on the boy. 

A chuckle came from Grim. “Whatever you say Sunshine.” they said before flashing a peace sign and driving off. 

Regina couldn’t help but chuckle at her bewildered girlfriend who was still pointing at the car. The green skinned girl turned to her. “Reg that was-”

“I know Babe. We’ll make a plan to mess with her soon.” Regina said, pulling on Janis’s arm. 

When the pair caught up with everyone Regina noticed it _wasn’t_ everyone. “Where’s Lauren?” She asked in a panicked tone. She felt a hand on her shoulder. It was Olivia. 

“She got out with Herb, Doris, and _Barb_.” The redhead said, wiggling her eyebrows. 

“It’s _finally_ happened!” Syd said excitedly. “Another union of the Art Crew and the Phil Crew. I’m in _heaven_!”

“Yeah.” Kelly said dreamily, clutching to Marcus’s arm. “Lauren said that Barb kissed her and then tried to run away to their brother’s room. But thankfully Scooter wouldn’t let them hide and push them out into Lauren’s arms.”

“And then Lauren _kissed_ them!” Syd yelled. The cheerful yell echoed through the staircase. 

“Wait did _everyone_ see this but me?!” Regina asked. 

“No no, none of us saw it. Lauren grabbed me and told me about it and then told me to tell everyone else so it wouldn’t be a big deal when she got out of the car with them.” Olivia said.

“Oh okay thank goodness.” Regina said relieved. When she looked over at Janis she was jumping up and down and waving her free arm around. “You good Babe?” The blonde asked, worried she may have gone into a drunken state of madness. 

“Of course Love! I’ve been waiting for Barb to tell Lauren how they’ve felt since our _first_ Super Crew dinner at El Paso! Now they can be the _cutest_ stoner couple on campus!” Janis exclaimed, excitedly shaking her body. 

Regina couldn’t help but melt at the girl’s happiness over her friends’ happiness. It’s that cavergiver in the brunette, always wanting to see those around her happy.

Everyone parted ways once they reached the third floor and promised that they’d meet up for lunch around 1:30pm at the caf. Janis had just finished texting the Art crew about the plans when something the punk said zoomed into her head. She was going to ask Janis about it in the moment but decided it could wait until bed.

***********

At just about 3am when Regina and Janis tumbled into the brunette’s bed. They had finished helping each other out of their costumes and wiping the copious amounts of paint off their bodies nearly thirty minutes ago. But they had gotten _a little_ distracted. 

Regina climbed on top of Janis and captured her lips once again in a heated kiss. “I could do this forever.” The blonde mumbled against the brunette’s lips. All the punk did was hum in agreement while she cupped the Plastic’s face. The thing that Janis said earlier popped into her head again. Pulling back Regina looked at Janis softly. Janis was giving her a big grin. It felt like there were a thousand butterflies in her stomach. “You called me Love.” She said simply.

Regina watched Janis’s face drop and fill with fear. “I um-”

“Is that the pet name you choose?” Regina questioned gently.

“I-yes- _but_ -you don’t-”

“I love it.” Regina said.

“You _do_?” Janis asked, still looking slightly panicked.

“Yes. It gave me butterflies.” The blonde cooed, leaning down to kiss the brunette. She let herself slide off of her girlfriend after a minute and turned on her side. Janis copied the action. She pulled away after another minute and cuddled into the punk, breathing in the oh so faint smell of eucalyptus. “I can’t believe you _still_ wear this body spray.” Regina giggled.

“What can I say? This _really_ attractive friend of mine was like ‘Oh Janjan _please_ try it on I _promise_ you’ll like it. Will you try it for me? _Please_ .’ and then proceeded to _pout_ at me and bat her _obscenely_ long eyelashes at me. How could baby Janis say no to _that_?!” The brunette rolling her eyes playfully.

“That’s a good point. I really _did_ lay it on thick.” Regina chuckled. She looked into Janis's eyes and felt like she could see into the future. It was a scary but oddly familiar feeling. "I love you Janis." She whispered. She felt kind of funny calling the brunette by her full name now. But using it made it feel more serious. More real.

"I love you too Regina." Janis whispered back. 

And so she laid in peaceful silence looking at Janis for what felt like forever. One of her hands found the side of Janis's face while one of the punk's found the small of her back. While she felt intricate designs being drawn on her back, she traced a finger down the sides of cheeks, up and over a smoothed forehead, and slid down the peak of a nose. 

Regina grew amused as she watched Janis's eyes begin to droop, the patterns on her back becoming slower and broader. "You ready for sleep Babe?" Janis just nodded and pulled Regina closer. Unlike last night and their cuddle naps before, Regina scooched up just a little bit higher and pulled the brunette into her chest. A confused little noise escaped the punk but the Plastic just gentle shushed her. “ _My_ turn to be the big spoon.” The blonde cooed, while she gently ran a hand through her girlfriend’s undercut. Janis nuzzled into Regina and let out a happy little sigh.

  
Regina felt warmth slow spread through her. If this was how she felt now, she couldn’t imagine how she’d feel in a month, six months, a year, or even two. The blonde drifted off a few moments later with an image of Janis and her laying under their tree. She couldn’t _wait_ for break.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!!! Leave a comment or kudos if you wish or pop in on my Tumblr and say hey.
> 
> https://why-do-i-like-you-ya-dumb-bean.tumblr.com/
> 
> Stay safe out there!


	19. Stargazing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well hey folks it's been a while. Writers block.
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter!

When Janis opened her eyes she looked up and saw her girlfriend. But it was from a  _ very _ different angle then usual. Regina's face was twisted in pleasure and her hand was lacing through the punk’s hair to bring her closer. Janis let out a groan.  _ Fuck _ the blonde was so beautiful. 

“Babe.” Regina said, sounding rather calm for the position she was in. Janis flicked her tongue faster. “Babe?” The blonde questioned. What  _ the _ fuck? Why was her voice like that? The brunette wasn’t  _ that _ out of practice, was she? “Baby wake-” 

Janis’s eyes flew open and found a fully dressed Regina above her. “What?” Janis asked, frazzled. Oh thank  _ god _ it was just a dream. 

“Good morning to you too.” Regina chuckled. “Sorry to wake you. I wanted to say bye before heading to Wheeling.”

“Wait what time is it?” The brunette asked, still trying to come into the world of consciousness. 

“Ten. I think all those tests wore you out. I wanted to let you sleep but I  _ also _ wanted to give you this.” Regina said before leaning down and placing a gentle kiss on Janis’s forehead and nose, followed by a slightly deeper one on the lips. Janis hummed happily.

“Well thank you for waking me. I wouldn’t’ve wanted to miss that.” Janis said as Regina pulled away. She took in the sight before her and the artist’s already dry mouth turned into the Sahara. The blonde’s hair was done and she was sporting a dark red lip and smokey eyeshadow. She had on a big comfy looking sweater but her jeans were  _ obscenely _ tight and all Janis could think about were how  _ nice _ those legs would be wrapped around her head. She felt her face burning as the image from her dream popped into her head. 

Regina must have been studying her girlfriend’s face because she just placed a smirk on hers. “You are okay babe? Did you have a bad dream?” Her voice laced in intrigue. 

“Uhhh…” Janis’s brain froze.  _ Think _ idiot think. “Um-uh no  _ no _ I-wait did you call me baby earlier?”

“Oh yeah.” Regina said smiling nervously. “Is that okay?”

Janis sat up quickly and reached out for the blonde’s sweater, pulling on it to bring her girlfriend into a kiss. “So long as I can use it too sometimes.” The brunette said after.

The Plastic’s smile was as big as could be. “Of course baby.” Regina said before giving Janis a quick kiss. The punk tried to follow but the blonde was too quick for her, pulling away, leaving the brunette with a pout on her face. 

“Baby  _ nooo _ .” Janis whined while making grabby hands at the blonde.

Regina just placed a smirk on her face and moved farther back. “I’m  _ sorry _ babe I have to go. It’s separation time.”

“Just  _ one _ more.” Janis pleaded watching the blonde back away farther. She knew she could just get out of bed. That’s probably why Regina was doing it, knowing that Janis only had about thirty minutes until the Art Crew would be banging on the door for their hike. If she didn’t get out soon she’d probably space out and hold up their excursion. But Janis also  _ loved _ a challenge and she just had a  _ great _ idea. She wistfully sighed and flopped down on the bed. “Well I guess we  _ don’t _ need to do that thing I planned tonight.”

Janis watched in delight as Regina’s smirk fell into a scowl. “ _ What _ thing?” She asked while returning to the bed. 

“It’s a surprise Love. But without a  _ kiss _ I don’t think we can.” Janis said, shrugging her shoulders. The brunette congratulated herself as she watched the blonde’s eye twitch. Regina  _ hated _ not being in the know and having things taken away from her. The punk used to do this all the time when they were young. Janis out stretched her arms once again and gave a big innocent smile. “Come  _ on _ baby. I know you’ll like what I have planned.”

Regina huffed out a sigh and put her hands on her hips. “You  _ really _ are something.” The blonde said in a loving tone, before leaning down and giving Janis one final kiss. “Now please get ready for your hike. I’ll  _ know _ if you’re not ready. I’ll have Lauren ask Barb.” The blonde said, giving the brunette a pointed look. Janis started to stretch, admiring her girlfriend’s figure heading for the door. “Bye. Please don’t die on the trails. Love you!” Regina said, as she opened the door. The blonde looked over her shoulder, waiting for brunette’s reply.

“Bye. I’ll try not to but I make no promises. Love you too!” Janis said, giving a wink. She cackled as Regina shook her head and mumbled something about ham. The brunette flopped once again as the laughter dissipated. Geez she loved that girl. The last two weeks had been bliss…  _ Wait. _ It had been two whole weeks. Fuck it was an anniversary.  _ Fuck shit _ . Oh god. She hadn’t  _ actually _ planned anything. She just wanted more kisses.  _ Shit fuck _ . 

***********************

By the time the Art Crew had knocked on Janis’s door she was in full panic mode. She flung the door open and nearly scared her friends to death. “I FORGOT IT WAS OUR TWO WEEK ANNIVERSARY!” She yelled.

There was a long pause before Herb and Doris burst into laughter. Janis was about to yell at them but Barb just put a hand on her shoulder and shook their head. “Take a deep breath Jan.”

“But-” Janis began to whine.

“No.” Barb said firmly. “Grab your keys and let’s go. We can talk about it on our hike.” They turned to the couple who was still laughing and gave them a stern look. “Didn’t you two tell me when you first started dating you went by  _ weekly _ anniversaries for nearly half a year?” They asked as Janis grabbed her keys. The brunette snorted at the accusation and had to hold in a cackle when she saw their beet red faces. “Yeah that’s what I thought.” Barb said, smirking while running a hand through their hair.

They all walked across main campus to the trails in relative silence. Herb and Doris were still recovering from Barb’s statement. But as always the two came back around.

“So you two are doing bi weekly anniversaries?” Doris asked.

“Honestly, I’m not sure. The thought came to me  _ after _ my horny ass just wanted more kisses and said I had something planned tonight but only for a kiss. After Reg left I realized it had been two weeks and then I  _ panicked _ and now we’re here. We haven’t really discussed anniversary stuff.” Janis sighed. “ _ Fuck _ guys I should have talked about this with her sooner!” The brunette shouted. 

“Well don’t forget it’s a two way street.” Herb said gently. “Have you asked my brotherly soulmate for any advice yet?” 

“He said I was being more dramatic than  _ him _ . But also that he’d brainstorm with the others on cute ideas.” Janis chuckled. God she was a mess. 

About halfway through the hike Janis’s phone started vibrating. When she fished it out of her pocket she found Damian’s face beckoning her to answer his FaceTime. As soon as she accepted she was greeted with four faces. “Hey Jan!” Called Damian, Cady, Karen, and Gretchen. 

“Hey guys!” Janis said back.

“Brother is that you?!” Herb asked, snagging the phone from Janis.

“Herb!” Janis squawked.

“Ugh  _ yes _ my brother from another mother!” Janis heard Damian say. “Ladies this is Herb!”

Janis managed to sneak up behind Herb and grab the phone back. The boy released a very overly dramatic gasp. “Guys I need you to stay focused. Regina gets back at around four. I need some sort of idea like  _ now _ so I can calm myself down and be an  _ actual _ human by then.” Janis sputtered out. She was really starting to kick herself hard. She should have just accepted the final kiss and  _ not _ been a shithead. If she didn’t come up with something cool Regina might actually be really upset and she didn’t want that.

“Janis sweetheart I need you to take a deep breath.” Gretchen said gently but firmly. The brunette immediately complied. Gretchen seemed to know the exact tone to use to get her brain to calm down. Barb’s was a close second. “Karen and I had an idea that we think Regina would  _ really _ like. Cady did some research into your region and found that there is significantly less light pollution around your college and right outside the town there’s even less.”

“Uhh what exactly is light pollution again?” Janis asked sheepishly.

“Oh my turn!” Cady exclaimed.

“Use human people language please!” Karen piped in.

“Right! Light pollution is what blocks people from seeing the stars. So like back home we don’t really see many. In Kenya I could pretty much see every single one. As soon as you get out of the town limits of Bethany you’re sort of in the middle. If you get far enough away you might be able to see the outline of the milky way and you’ll  _ definitely _ see way more stars than you’ll ever see in Evanston.” Cady said excitedly.

Janis stared at them in confusion for a second. Wait. “Oh my _ god _ you guys are geniuses! That’s perfect! Reggie and I used to stargaze from her backward when we were little!”

“We know! Drunk Regina told us over the summer. She also showed us this  _ cute little rock _ that-” Karen started.

“ _ Okayyy _ moving on.” Janis nervously laughed. She didn’t like sharing their childhood too much without talking to Regina about it first, and their rocks were something very special to them. “Guys this is  _ perfect _ thank you so much.” The brunette said unable to hold back the slight crack in her voice. What would she do without her ragtag team? 

“Aww Janis you’re soft side is showing.” Damian said lovingly. 

Janis couldn’t help but roll her eyes but smiled non the less. “Yeah  _ yeah _ soft Janis is here. Take it in.” The brunette tossed her hair and posed for her far away friends. They all awed and clapped. “Alright we gotta finish our hike and I need both hands for balance. Love you.” She said to the group. 

The next few minutes were spent saying goodbye over and over and passing the phone around and exchanging numbers. I warmed Janis’s heart to see it happening. Once she finally had her phone back, the gang continued. 

They chatted ideally about classes and Barb talked about Lauren, causing everyone to aw and them to blush profusely. But soon the talk moved into more frisky territory. Barb had just finished up talking about them and Lauren having sex in the library chapel when the group finally focused on Janis.

"So Jan how about  _ you _ ? Have you and Reg done it anywhere  _ crazy _ yet? You've been awfully quiet." Doris stated, wiggling her eyebrows.

Janis's throat tightened with nerves. She was hoping they would have just forgotten to ask her. "Um… well… we uh… haven't done  _ it _ yet." She said shoving her hands in her pockets and walking ahead just a bit to hide her blush. She heard the footsteps behind her holt. 

"Really?"

"No way."

"How?"

Janis rolled her eyes before turning around. The brunette didn't care that she and the blonde hadn't had sex yet. Did she really  _ really _ want to? Yes. Had she been having  _ a lot _ of dreams like the one this morning? Yes. Had the couple gotten closer to there since starting the whole thing? Kind of. But was she going to  _ complain _ about it not having happened yet? Absolutely  _ not _ . 

"We just haven't that's all." Janis said, shrugging her shoulders. "The right moment hasn't happened yet."

"But you have a hickey on your neck right now! Are you _ really _ telling me y'all are just making out and rubbing titties?" Herb asked.

The brunette grasped at her neck. She hadn't realized Regina had left a mark but she wasn't surprised. "Okay first off that's the  _ worst _ possible way to put it. And second off  _ yes _ we've just been making out and taking our shirts off. She's  _ not _ ready yet. And I'm  _ not _ going to push her like some  _ horny _ asshole!" Janis said unable to hide her irritation, looking away. It wasn't necessarily all Herb asking that made her feel so mad. Damian and Cady had been prodding her about it too. The two didn't want details, just confrontation that _ it  _ had happened. Between that and the three in front of her seemingly shocked, it had really struck a nerve.

It had almost happened last night and the day after Halloween. But Regina had grown nervous both times as soon as Janis went to remove the blonde's bra. Regina had asked her to do it both times but back out. The brunette understood and they moved on, returning to kissing, touching the available bare skin, and grazing over the cloth that hid what they desired the most.

It drove Janis crazy that everyone around her was so intrigued by something they would never be involved with. When she looked back at her friends they all had guilty looks on their faces. “Sorry for blowing up.” Janis mumbled. She was surprised when the three others rushed to her and wrapped her in a group hug. The brunette chuckled and hugged them back. These dweebs.

************************

Janis made it back to her room at around one and hopped in the shower. She was panicking the whole time trying to think of where exactly she could take Regina to stargaze. Just as she finished getting dressed there was a knock on her door. It was probably her RA coming around to tell everyone about her event. She was surprised to find Barb at her door.

“Hey dude!” Janis greeted excitedly, jestering them in. The pair didn’t get a lot of one on one time so the brunette was always hyped to see her mint haired friend.

“Hey! I wanted to pop by really quick to give you a suggestion for tonight. We didn’t really get to brainstorm.” Barb said, looking slightly guilty. “But thankfully I know  _ exactly _ where you can go to stargaze.”

“Really?! Barb you’re a lifesaver!”

“Yeah, it’s actually where I took Lauren yesterday. There’s even a meteor shower happening tonight. Last night was the peek but tonight should still have plenty and it’s going to be  _ super _ clear out.” Barb said smiling.

“Dude, that sounds amazing! Where did you go?” The brunette asked. 

“It’s called Castlemen’s Wildlife Preserve. It’s about fifteen minutes away.” The mint haired person said. 

“Fifteen minute walk or drive?” Janis asked nervously.

“Drive. And don’t worry, there’s a  _ reason _ I came here to tell you this in person.” They replied. Out of the religion major’s pocket came a pair of keys while a mischievous smile danced across their face. “Park in the first lot and walk along the lake until you get to a fire pit. There’s a bunch of dead drift wood and sticks to start a fire. Y’all have candles so I know you have a lighter or something. Take that and  _ plenty _ of blankets. There’s some huge themed party thing happening on Greek Hill so I don’t think anyone else is going to be there.”

Janis stared at her friend in disbelief. This was perfect.  _ Absolutely _ perfect. “Barb… this-this is perfect thank you so much!”

“Of course dude! I wasn’t about to let you just walk around looking for a dark place. There is  _ one _ condition.” Barb said arching an eyebrow.

“Hit me with it.” Janis said, shooting finger guns.

“Do not fuck in my car.” They said with a smirk.

Janis’s face went neon pink. “I-I-I-w-w-we wouldn’t do that. I-”

Barb full belly laughed at the stuttering brunette. “I’m kidding bud. I know you wouldn’t do that. Just wanted to see your face.” They said before tossing the keys into Janis’s hands. Barb turned and started walking towards the door. “I’d love to stay but I need to finish my reading before Laruen gets back. Make sure you take the car slow, the road out to Castlemen’s is shit.” They paused opening the door. “Love you dude have fun tonight.”

“Thanks dude! Love you too.” Janis said gratefully, flashing a peace sign. As soon as the door closed Janis snagged her phone and flopped on the bed. She had some research to do.

*****************

Once Regina had returned from Wheeling, the blonde had made it her  _ mission _ to get Janis to spill what her plan was. The Plastic had tried begging and pleading, the pout, and even threats of body harm but Janis had remained stoic in her resolve to keep the plan a secret. All the blonde knew was that they were leaving the room at 10pm sharp. The meteor shower started around 10:30pm and went until around 2am. 

But that resolve was  _ shattered _ around fifteen minutes ago when Regina had used her most power weapon. Seduction. The former queen bee had lulled Janis into a false sense of security after dinner. She hadn’t asked about the plan for three hours. As they were cuddling and watching  _ 10 Things I Hate About You _ Regina had started rubbing circles into Janis’s thigh. The blonde then proceeded to tip her head back and kiss around and on Janis’s ear. The nail in the coffin was Regina  _ moaning _ ‘please baby’ into said ear before turning around and pinning Janis down onto the bed. 

Now Janis’s shirt was pushed up and Regina was sucking a hickey right above the brunette’s bra. One hand was teasing an ear and the other was grasping Janis’s hip. “Tell me what we’re  _ doing _ babe.” Regina demanded sweetly as soon as mouth came off with a pop. Janis could only whine in response and squirm. “ _ Fine _ , have it your way.” The blonde huffed, latching onto the area opposite of the quickly bruising skin. 

“Shit Reggie.” Janis hissed. “I-I-It’s j-just another  _ hour _ pl-” Janis couldn’t finish her sentence. Her brain was too busy  _ exploding _ because Regina had moved a leg between the apex of her’s and leaned in. The brunette let out a moan and couldn’t help but roll her hips.

“Tell me baby.” Regina whispered against Janis’s ear. “ _ What _ are we doing?” 

“F-f-fine!” The punk nearly cried out. Immediately all of Regina’s ministrations stopped and she was sitting at the end of her bed looking  _ smug _ as could be. Janis took a minute to catch her breath before shakily sitting up, giving the blonde her best glare. It wasn’t that effective because Regina just chuckled at the brunette. Janis let out a long breath before speaking. 

“We’re going out to this place called Castlemen’s. There’s a meteor shower tonight that I thought we could watch like we did when we were little… I-It’s been two weeks and I-I wasn’t sure how you’d want to do anniversaries and…  _ ugh _ I should have asked you  _ sooner _ about this.” Janis ended up groaning out the last bit, covering her face in embarrassment. She felt the bed shift and hands on either side of her face. When she looked up she saw that look in her girlfriend’s eyes that wasn’t there all the time. It was a more intense look and it made Janis feel like she could see the future in them.

“You fucking  _ nerd _ I love you so much.” Regina said gently, as she pulled Janis into a deep kiss. The punk relaxed into the kiss and started leaning back onto the pillow, pulling the plastic with her. She felt a giggle against her lips and couldn’t help but smile. They shared a few more kisses before the brunette pulled back. They needed to talk about the anniversary thing and they had an hour to kill, so why not now?

"So how do we want to handle this? Going by weeks seems… excessive? I just  _ kind of  _ got worried which is why we’re here… I’m sorry." Janis said tentatively, biting her lip.

Regina gently ran her thumbs up and down Janis’s cheeks while taking on a pensive look. The brunette’s heart stuttered in anticipation, hoping she didn’t upset the blonde. It felt like hours went by before she spoke. “I think you’re right about weeks being excessive. But this plan for our two weeks is  _ adorable _ and perfect and just fine. You don’t have to apologize.” The green eyed girl said smiling. She placed a gentle kiss on her grey eyed counterparts nose. “After this I think months are fine to do big stuff -if we want too- until a year hits. After a year trying to do something big every month could become stressful  _ and _ repetitive. But little things if we want on the month are fine after a year. I’d prefer no social media stuff until I come out to my parents and then publicly, which if I’m being honest  _ could _ take a little while.”

“Baby that all sounds great to me.” Janis whispered. Her body was rushing with emotions and before she knew it Regina was looking concerned and running her thumbs under her eyes. Was she crying? The brunette brought a finger up to her own eye and caught a tear. “Oh shit.” She muttered slightly embarrassed.

“You’re such a sap.” Regina mumbled warmly as she pulled the brunette to her chest. They didn’t need to say anything else. The blonde  _ knew _ what the brunette was feeling. Janis had missed this part of Regina. Teasing words that were laced with the warmth of a blanket that was knit near a fireplace by a loving grandparent.

Janis nuzzled into Regina’s chest, listening to the steady thudding of the blonde’s heart. She chuckled when the thudding fluttered for a moment after the brunette gave the blonde’s butt a little squeeze. Her eyes were drawn back to the movie as Semisonic’s song  _ FNT _ hit her ears. She watched in delight as Kat and Patrick ran around the paintball park. Just as they kissed Janis leaned up and kissed Regina’s cheek. “I love you.” She murmured.

*********************

Pulling up to Castlemen’s, it was almost eerie. The air was brisk. As the couple got out of the car Janis looked up and was taken aback by all the stars she could see. Cady was right there were  _ nowhere _ near this many back in Evanston. When she looked over to the other side of the car Regina was staring up at the sky as well.

“Wow.” Was all the blonde could muster. Janis stayed silent allowing the other girl to take in the sight and used that time to snag all the blankets from the back seat. The pair followed Barb’s instructions and walked along the shore until their phone lights hit what was obviously a fire pit. Ten minutes later they were all settled into blankets with a small but mighty fire cackling away. Janis was leaning against a huge log with Regina nestled between her legs. The pair were both looking up at the sky waiting for the first sighting. Just as Janis took her eyes from the sky to place a kiss on Regina’s cheek, the blonde gasped.

“Babe look!” Her girlfriend said excitedly pointing to the sky.

Janis just caught the end of it and gasped. “Good eye Love.” She said giving the plastic a quick cheek kiss before leaning back a little bit. The blonde followed her, sliding down resting herself against the brunette’s chest. The punk propped her chin on the plastic’s head and took a deep breath of the night air. They both gasped simultaneously a few minutes later as they caught sight of another shooting star.

“Baby this is so perfect. You’re so creative.” Regina said, reaching around their cocoon for Janis’s hands.

“You can thank the home gang and Barb for this… I  _ might _ have fibbed this morning about a plan. I just  _ really _ wanted another kiss. As soon as you left though I realized it's been two weeks and freaked out. The gang did some research about the light pollution and watching stars here and Barb gave me the car and location. So they get almost all of the credit.” Janis admitted.

Regina let out a cackle. “I  _ knew _ it! You always pulled that  _ shit _ when we were young. You sneaky thing.” The blonde tilted her head up just enough to nip at Janis’s neck a few times causing the brunette to shiver. 

“But I  _ actually _ delivered this time.” Janis mumbled against Regina’s ear. She moved her hands slightly lower gripping at Regina’s hips causing her to whine and squirm. It was a sensitive point the punk was happy to find and manipulate. She was tempted to squeeze again but that wasn’t the point of being out here. So she moved her hands back up to Regina’s and laced them together. “I love you Reggie.” She whispered.

“I love you too Janjan.” Regina whispered back.

Janis guessed about an hour had gone by and the pair had seen about 25 shooting stars. In between the streaks of light the couple awed at the sheer number of stars they could see. Cady was right, they could just see a bit of the Milkyway. They reminisced about doing this in Regina’s backyard and laughed about how gay they were as kids. Regina told her about the lurching being caused by her and how it had happened when they were little too. Janis told her about little Janis’s gaywakening. They laughed long and loud and it was so pure and full of love.

It had to be past midnight when Janis settled back into their little cocoon, having just put enough firewood on to last them at least an hour. As soon as she got comfortable, she felt Regina start to shift in her grasp. The brunette loosened her arms but the blonde just grabbed them back and pushed herself into Janis more. For a moment the punk was a little confused but then she became hyper aware of the plastic wiggling into her lap. Well, maybe  _ grinding _ was a better word. Janis buried her face in Regina’s neck while her hands traveled back to the blonde’s hips. The brunette dug her fingers into the cloth covered flesh and hummed with elation when her girlfriend whined and ground harder into her.

“Can I help you baby? You’re getting all  _ squirmy _ . Are you cold?” Janis asked in a low tone. This wasn’t part of her plan but making out under the stars sounded  _ fun _ .

“Baby. I-” Regina tried to speak but Janis had decided a little payback for earlier was deserved. 

Janis latched her mouth onto Regina’s neck and gently sucked. She moved her hands slowly upward until they found two of her favorite things, giving them a gentle squeeze.  _ God _ she wished she could see them bare. She gave a second rougher squeeze and  _ reveled _ in the moan that escaped the plastic’s lips. The brunette hummed and nipped at the spot she had been toying with. The blonde’s grinding was becoming more frantic and so were her whines. There was  _ something _ starting to boil in the brunette the more her girlfriend squirmed. This felt  _ different _ . She liked it. Janis gave another squeeze and put her mouth to Regina’s ear. “Why do you turn around Love?” 

Regina immediately started shifting up causing all the blankets to fall to the wayside. Janis only chuckled in response before the blonde straddled her and pulled her into a hungry kiss. Yes, this  _ definitely _ felt different. The way the plastic was clutching at her neck and whimpering into her mouth was something the punk had  _ yet _ to experience. It was  _ intoxicating _ . Janis wrapped her arms around Regina’s waist and pulled her as close as possible. She couldn't help but let a moan of her own out as their tongues gazed over one another’s every so often. The blonde let out another whine and Janis had to pull back. Just as she did the brunette became dumbstruck by newly exposed skin. How’d she pull all three layers off at once?

“Reggie-”

“Off baby please.” Regina demanded softly, pulling at Janis’s sweaters. Were they?  _ No _ no. It wouldn’t go any farther than usual. With some help, Janis was able to get all three layers off relatively fast. As soon as the last layer was released from her head the couple returned to feverishly kissing. Janis brought her hands upward and started running circles around the protrusions against Regina’s bra. The blonde gasped but responded in kind, while rolling her hips. The brunette shivered and moaned and started kissing down her goddess’s neck. She was so tempted to move her hand under the cloth or even a hand much lower down. She wanted to do it so badly. 

Like Regina could sense the need she pulled away from Janis and sat back. She looked nervous and was worrying her bottom lip between her teeth. Before the punk could process the plastic’s hands moving, suddenly there was a  _ bare _ chest in front of her. Her mouth dropped open at the sight and couldn’t help stare, unable to produce words. There was silence. Holy shit. Holy  _ fucking shit _ boobs. She scolded herself for staring like a teenage boy but still she stared in awe. They looked so supple and all Janis wanted to do was put a hand on one and her mouth on the other. “I-um-I- _ shit _ -I- _ wow _ … you are  _ so _ ,” Janis was finally able to move her eyes back to the nervous green one above her. “gorgeous. I don’t know how I got so lucky.” On impulse, once those beautiful emerald eyes relaxed, she quickly shucked off her bra and waited. 

Janis smiled softly at Regina when she sucked in air, pupils turning into saucers. The brunette watched her girlfriend raise a hand tentatively but paused. “I-I feel like I don’t know what to do.” The blonde said in a shaky voice.

“Do you want me to start?” Janis asked. Regina nodded yes immediately, biting her lip. The punk leaned up for a quick kiss and their nipples brushed together and both girls let out a little moan. Once their eyes found one another Janis told in a deep breath. “Can I touch you?” The brunette asked. The blonde nodded yes vigorously again, squirming in her lap. "I'll take care of you Love." She whispered. 

Janis decided to take it slow. She cradled Regina's face and brought her into a soft kiss. Regina melted as soon as their lips brushed. The brunette tenderly nibbled on the blonde’s lower lip as her hands moved upward. She couldn’t help but hum delightedly as her hands finally grazed over the newly available skin, gently cupping Regina’s breasts. She ran her thumbs over both peaks and was  _ overjoyed _ by Regina jolting in her lap. She did it over and over, kissing down her neck and leaving hickies in her wake. “You’re a goddess baby. I love you so much.” The punk murmured, as she changed from rubbing to light pinching. Regina could only cry out in response and wrap her legs and arms tightly around Janis. The brunette moved her mouth farther down south. Right before she reached her destination her eyes darted up searching for consent.

“Babe  _ please _ .” Regina whined.

Janis needed no further instruction. She took a nipple into her mouth and sucked lightly. The other was still being pinched albeit a little harder than before. The punk was in  _ heaven _ . If one of those meteors came down on her head  _ right now _ she’d die happy. Thank gay jesus they were in the middle of  _ nowhere _ . Regina’s moans were getting louder with every flick of her tongue and twist of her fingers. The blonde’s nails were digging into her back and it was amazing. 

Abruptly Janis was pulled off of Regina's chest and fear ran through her. But before she could speak the girl in her lap beat her to it.

  
“Baby I-I’m ready please. I  _ need _ you please.” Regina said feverishly, before pulling Janis into a kiss. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!! Leave a kudos or a comment if you so wish!
> 
> A cliffish hanger? I know it's mean. But this is all for the purpose of seeing this experience through out lady Regina's eyes.
> 
> Come say hey or yell at me on the tumbles if you want!
> 
> https://why-do-i-like-you-ya-dumb-bean.tumblr.com/
> 
> I'm not sure how quickly another update will come but know I will finish this story.


	20. Supernova

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS THE SPICY CHAPTER. SMUT. IF THIS IS NOT YOUR THING THERE WILL BE SUMMARY IN THE END NOTE.
> 
> Happy Saturday!

It felt like everything was on fire and Regina couldn’t be happier. Noises were ripping out of her lungs and she gave  _ zero _ fucks. She looked down at her girlfriend and thought she might spontaneously combust. Janis's mouth had encapsulated her nipple and her right hand was pinching at the other. It was all too much and not enough. Fuck  _ fuck _ fuck. 

Regina watched Janis's tongue circle around the stiff peak a few times before latching back on. The blonde threw her head back and clawed at the brunette's shoulders to try and find some stability. She felt hot breath roll across her skin and shivered. The plastic couldn't stop herself from grinding into the punk’s lap, nor the string of whines and moans slipping past her lips.

She needed more. She needed Janis on top of her whispering sweet nothings into her ear. She needed Janis's hands and mouth exploring her body. She needed Janis to do what the blonde had been putting off for  _ two _ weeks. The thing she was terrified of, for whatever reason. But  _ now _ , she was ready. Between watching Janis break a bunch of branches over her knee and her looking at her boobs like they were an original Picasso, her fears were  _ squashed _ . Janis called her a  _ goddess _ for fuck's sake. She wanted Janis to see and feel all of her. She wanted to see and feel all of Janis too.  _ God _ did she want to touch Janis. If the brunette was going to react anything like she did in her bed earlier, the blonde would happily become addicted. 

But right now she was grateful that her angelic punk was taking the lead. She always benefited from  _ hands-on _ instruction. Janis moved with more zeal than before and Regina couldn’t take it anymore. She pulled the brunette off of her and looked down to find a slightly fearful face. 

“Baby I-I’m ready please. I  _ need _ you please.” Regina said before she could scare herself like earlier in the week. She pulled her girlfriend back into a heated kiss. Janis moaned into it and moved her hand to Regina’s butt giving it a squeeze. The blonde responded with a whine before pulling away. “Please baby I want you so bad  _ please _ .” Regina whined. Before she could say anything more, Janis shifted upward.

“Hold on tight Love.” Janis mumbled against Regina’s lips. The blonde was so wound up she didn’t process what happened until her back met the blankets under her. She couldn’t help but let out a gasp at the brunette’s show of strength. “I’ve always wanted to do that.” The punk said, almost as if she was surprised by herself. Her face shifted into something more nervous as she cupped the blonde’s face with one hand, rubbing her cheek gently. “You’re sure you’re ready?”

Regina became hyper aware of Janis’s pelvis against her’s. She whined at her girlfriend and ground up into her. She watched the brunette’s eyes darken as she repeated the motion again. “Yes, a thousand times yes please. I’m ready if you are.”

The brunette’s lips came down firmly on the blonde’s, gently sucking at her bottom lip. Regina felt relief as Janis allowed her body to press into the girl under her and as their chests properly came together, the couple groaned excitedly in unison. It didn’t take long before Regina started to squirm under her lover. Thankfully Janis took the hint and detached their lips, moving them along her jawline and down to her clavicle. Regina gasped as Janis’s teeth nipped and sucked at the skin across her sternum. The blonde’s hands reflexively flew to the nape of the brunette's neck and took hold, giving a tug. The punk only grunted in reply and continued her campaign across the plastic’s chest.

“ _ Babe _ .” Regina gasped as Janis once again captured her nipple between her lips giving a gentle suck. The brunette’s eyes flicked up to the blonde’s just as she detached herself to roll her tongue across the stiff nub. If Regina thought she was on fire before, she was now  _ ablaze _ . Every little touch to her skin felt like it was the first contact she had ever received. One of Janis’s hands came to rest upon her hip while the other came up to the unattended nipple, a thumb rolled over it with a firm but gentle touch. Regina occasionally felt a smile against her skin, which she would answer with a tug at the hair in her hands. She  _ loved _ that each time it elicited a small noise of pleasure. The couple’s eyes would meet in those moments and neither could hold back muffled and moaned affirmations to the other. When not looking at the beauty on top of her, the plastic found her eyes dancing across the brilliant sky that was still putting on a show. 

Like before Janis’s mouth and hand increased their levels of attention, switching sucking and rubbing for nipping and pinching. Regina was growing increasingly frenzied as it continued and couldn’t stop her hips from rolling with every bite and twist from Janis. She only got  _ more _ frantic after Janis switched sides while telling Regina she was the most perfect thing she’d ever seen. What seemed like hours went by of Janis’s ministrations before Regina finally realized the brunette was awaiting her signal.

“Baby.” Regina whined. “Baby  _ please _ .” Regina whined again tugging at Janis’s hair. The brunette looked up, a twinkle of mischief in her, and released the blonde's nipple with a pop. The hand once pinching began to gently massage. 

"Are you ready for more Love?" Janis asked gently. Regina nodded vigorously, unable to stop a whine from darting past her lips. "How do you want me to touch you?" 

Regina paused. She'd never been asked that before. She and Shane just kind of were there for a quicky so there was never time for that question. With Aaron she always took charge so the boy never really had a choice. Looking at Janis now, Regina never felt so safe. Her eyes were soft and patient. Something occurred to her in that moment and blush rushed to her face. "Um… do you think you could use  _ your _ … uh your mouth? I-uh- _ well _ -no one's ever done…  _ ya know _ … with me. Well I've never asked and no one's offered. You don't  _ have _ to I-" Regina tried to keep speaking but she ended up choking out a moan instead. 

Janis was too busy blazing a trail of kisses and nips down her stomach, pausing to give love to Regina’s stretch marks, which nearly made tears come to her eyes. She never thought someone would look at them with kind eyes and yet there was the brunette giving them each three tender kisses. She heard her girlfriend mumble something about being beautiful over the last of her squiggles and couldn’t help but shiver.

When Janis's mouth met the last bit of skin before Regina's sweatpants she looked up. The blonde’s heart raced, as the brunette's hungry but gentle eyes danced over her. “As you wish.” Janis said just over a whisper, before attaching her mouth back to the skin she had just left, suckling deeply for a few more moments. Regina could only whine and thrash her hips, which was met with a strong arm coming across them to hold her still. “Don’t worry Love I’ve got you. I want to make sure I give love to  _ every _ inch of you.” The brunette’s voice was smooth as silk and blonde was left to blush and cover her face. How could one person be  _ so fucking hot _ ?! How did the plastic end up with this  _ immaculate _ vision between her legs?!

She whimpered and tried moving her hips again but Janis continued to hold her still. “I’m going to take care of you Baby don’t worry.” The punk whispered as she finally began to pull at the blonde’s sweatpants. Regina couldn’t help but wreath as Janis’s lips, tongue, and teeth met each new inch of exposed skin on her left leg. Regina liked to think of herself as graceful but trying to assist in getting her pants off was  _ too much _ for her frazzled brain. Thankfully Janis got them off in a breeze, tossing them apparently where all their other clothes had gone. 

The blonde worried when her other leg didn't receive the same treatment as the other and was surprised when Janis shifted up to come face to face with Regina. The punk had a small smirk on her face, leaving mere centimeters between their lips. "Hi." She said simply.

Regina for the briefest of moments was tempted to just shove Janis's head down south and tell her to get to it. But the longer she held her gaze the more she calmed down. "Hi." The plastic answered back quietly, pulling her bottom lip between her teeth. She wasn’t sure she’d  _ ever _ felt so nervous yet safe in her whole life.

"I just wanted to check in before I started. You're ready for sure?" Janis asked, bringing at hand to Regina’s cheek, rubbing soft circles into the skin. In that moment she couldn’t muster any noise to come from her so she just nodded before leaning up to capture her girlfriend’s lips. God they were so  _ soft _ and nice and  _ good _ and pretty and  _ empty head inducing _ . Janis pulled away softly and spoke again, chuckling. “I’ll take that as a yes.” The brunette's face became slightly more serious. “Remember we can stop if you change your mind. And if you don’t like what I’m doing you can tell me. Okay?” Regina nodded in response smiling. “I love you Reggie.” The punk gave her a quick kiss and began her journey down south again.

Regina couldn’t help but grip the blankets and shiver, partially from Janis’s talented mouth and partially from the night air. But the more Janis’s hands and mouth touched her, the warmer she became. The punk’s mouth, kissing and nipping, led the trail down with her hands, nails scraping, not far behind. The brunette wasted no time once she reached the last bit of the blonde’s clothes. She hooked her fingers on the waistband and began pulling down, lavishing kisses and nips down the previously unattended leg. As the cold air hit Regina’s core she moaned and rolled her hips. Not soon after she felt her underwear coming off her ankles.

Her eyes zoomed down to gage Janis’s face. What if she looked weird? _ Oh god _ , what if she tasted bad? What if- Regina felt blush run over her whole body as Janis’s tongue darted out over her bottom lip with hungry eyes and shivered as the brunette let out a strangled growl. The brunette smiled while settling herself between the blonde’s quivering legs. The plastic nearly jumped out of her skin when the punk began lavishing kisses at her inner thighs, occasionally sucking at the tender skin sending jolts of pleasure through Regina’s body.

Just as Regina was about to start begging, Janis released the skin with a pop and looked up to her girlfriend. Her smile was a cross of wicked and angelic as she shifted the blonde’s leg up until her calves rested on the brunette’s shoulders. Regina couldn't help but look up at the sky. Janis’s stare made her feel like she might leave her current plane of existence. 

Just as she felt arms come to rest on her hips, her body jolted, hot breath seeping across her core. Regina let out a needy whine that Janis responded with a murmured affirmation. Holy  _ shit _ it was about to happen. What was it going to feel like? What if she  _ hated _ it but Janis loved it. Oh god oh god oh- 

Regina's worries were shattered into dust as Janis's tongue took a slow swipe up Regina's center until reaching her clit and gently latching on for a few moments, sucking. The blonde's hips rose to get more friction, craving more attention. Whatever flew from her mouth was something between moan, whine, and scream. 

"Was that okay Love?" Janis asked the already frazzled girl.

Okay?  _ Okay _ ? That was  _ amazing _ . Regina wanted nothing more than to freeze time and feel Janis on her until the universe  _ imploded _ . Her brain was trying to get her vocal chords to function but that was just not in the cards. So as she nodded her head she tried to  _ gently _ take some of Janis’s hair and bring her back where she was needed most. The brunette got the picture, half humming half chucking, and returned to her rightful place and began lapping at the blonde. The plastic was  _ sure _ she was going to die there. It was like nothing she had ever felt before. Everything before this was just blah before this. Everything before was meh. The punk’s mouth had created a rhythm that was making Regina see extra stars. 

The blonde’s hands found purchase in Janis’s hair and the blankets under her. She was trying to not rip out her girlfriend’s oaky locks but with every new direction the brunette took her grip got tighter and her whines and moans got louder. Her mind narrowed to the intricate and breathtaking dance her girlfriend's tongue was doing and that same girlfriend’s hands starting to shift upward. The punk’s hands had left the curve of her hips and came back to her breasts. They started out just kneading gently at the flesh, making Regina’s hips move with slightly more vigor. That seemed to have been Janis’s hope, as she hummed happily, the vibrations farther sending the girl under her into a state of ecstasy. 

There was a heat building in Regina’s low stomach and she started getting nervous. She’d  _ conveniently  _ forgotten to tell Janis that she'd never orgasmed with another person before. This warmth would start building in her but then nothing would happen. She’s done it to herself plenty of time and knew she could, but with someone else there it always seemed to freeze a few feet from the finish. But as Janis’s mouth latched onto her bundle of nerves and her middle and ring fingers started catching the blonde’s nipples with each squeeze, she  _ zoomed _ past that stagnated stage.

Regina looked down at Janis and found that she was already looking up at her. Those grey eyes were almost hard to see with how blown out her pupils were. “Baby.” The green eyed girl whined while tightening her hand in her lover’s hair. Said lover moaned against her core as her eyes fluttered shut for a moment. Somewhere in the coherent part of Regina’s brain she took note of that reaction. 

“Baby I-I-I…” Regina was desperately trying to form words but she just couldn’t. Janis had opened her eyes again and as soon as their eyes met, the brunette’s tongue and hands redoubled their already stellar efforts.  _ Oh _ geez. Oh  _ wow _ .  _ Oh fuck _ . It was going to happen. Holy shit fuck. The heat that had once teased her, bouncing around in her stomach but never lower, was now racing down to meet with Janis’s mouth. Regina kept trying to speak but all that would leave her mouth her incoherent whines and moans. Her hips were thrashing desperately trying to dance in time with Janis’s tongue. 

Oh god. For the briefest moment she looked up at the stars and wondered if any of them were experiencing what she was about to. Just as she looked back down she watched Janis’s wrap her mouth around her again and felt the vacuum and flutter of the punks tongue against her. Like a supernova, the building warmth in Regina finally exploded as Janis moaned against her. Her body went rigid and she  _ happily _ screamed her girlfriend’s name. Everything slowed to a near stop as the pleasure engulfed her body like a blackhole devouring a planet. She let her head fall back to the ground and legs wrap around her lover’s head. She was vaguely aware of Janis’s hands and mouth slowing but not stopping. With each squeeze of her hands and swipe of her tongue Regina felt another wave of pleasure roll through her body. It was like nothing she’d ever felt before. Each new wave made her body twitch and she thought she might be turning into jello.

Time slowly came back to her as the explosion like pleasure faded into more of a hum. Her moans and whines had morphed into satisfied sighs and her body finally relaxed. If she had the energy she would’ve loved to look down at Janis and tell her that was the best thing ever but untangling her hands from the punk’s hair and unsnaking her legs from around her head used up her  _ last _ bit of energy… For now.

Thankfully as soon as the brunette was free she was zooming up the blonde’s body. Regina was elated to feel their chests meet again and the love behind Janis’s eyes was beautiful. She pulled the punk down into a firm kiss, feeling arms settle around her and a gentle hand stroking through her hair. 

When she pulled back she was greeted by a nervous look. “Was uh… was that okay?” Janis asked shyly.

Regina couldn’t help but laugh at the nervous girl on top of her. “Babe I love you  _ so _ much.” She giggled. “That was the  _ best _ sex I have ever had. Fuck that was the most  _ amazing _ orgasm I have ever had. I uh…  _ Well _ you’re the first partner to ever make me finish.” The blonde said, blush cropping up on her face.

“Well I hope I haven’t set an  _ impossible _ standard for myself.” The brunette chuckled. 

Regina brought a hand to Janis’s cheek, stroking it softly. “I think you’ll be fine Babe.” She said leaning up to give her girlfriend a peck on the lips. As she let her head come back down, lips followed and captured her’s, a gentle hunger behind the kiss. The couple let the kiss grow slowly in its intensity.

The longer it went on the more the blonde’s need to make the brunette feel as she just did grew. Each brush of their tongues and each nip of teeth at the other’s bottom lip made her desires grow. She felt the girl on top of her shiver and remembered they were uncovered. She thought about pulling away and telling the other girl to grab the blankets but then she had a  _ better _ idea. Keeping their lips together, she began to push herself up. Janis tried to pull away but Regina just responded by taking hold of her hair with one hand and giving it a hard grip, causing a strangled whine to come up. Yes she would  _ definitely _ have to look into that reaction some more because it was  _ hot _ . The punk melted back into her, moving with her until the couple was upright.

Regina grabbed Janis’s butt and gave it a squeeze as she pulled her mouth away and started peppering kisses down her neck. She didn’t spend much time there because the night air was sinking into her once warm back. As she ran her hands up her girlfriends back she felt the coldness and shuttered. She moved her mouth to her lover’s ear and spoke. “Lay down Baby I want to take care of you now.” 

“Love you don’t have to I-” Janis tried to say but Regina had taken her earlobe between her teeth and pulled at it. The brunette only whined in response, grinding on the blonde’s thighs.

“Baby I want to touch you and make you feel good like you did to me. You’re not making me do anything I don’t want to do. If you don’t want to, that's okay, just know I would  _ love _ to make you feel good… Well as good as I can for never having done this.” Regina gave one last tug on Janis’s ear before pulling away to look at her girlfriend. “I think I just need a little guidance.” She said with blush spreading across her body.

Janis pulled her bottom lip between her teeth. “You’re sure?”

“Positive. I want to see how much more worked up you can get with  _ all _ your clothes off.” Regina husked before kissing down her chest. She chuckled into the skin as she felt the girl in her lap shake all over. Just as she was about to capture a nipple in her mouth she looked up. “Lay down Babe.” 

“But then you’ll get cold.” Janis said with a bit of a whine. 

“You’ve been cold since we started. I’ll be fine. Plus if you forgot we have these things called  _ blankets _ .” The blonde playful chastised. “Please lay down Baby. I want to take care of you.”

She watched Janis’s eyes flick over her one more time before shifting off of her. In a few moments they’d switched places. Regina pulled the blankets up to her shoulders and immediately started marking her territory. They could make out after she made her girlfriend,  _ hopefully _ , see stars. She dragged her lips over the brunette’s chest, nipping every few inches until she reached an already stiff nipple. She glanced up to see Janis looking at her,  _ need _ burning in her eyes and a whine escaping her lips. Regina being  _ merciful _ , latched onto the nipple just under her lips and gave it a gentle suck. 

The noise that came from Janis made Regina hum in satisfaction as she drew her tongue back and forth over the stiff peak again and again. She watched her girlfriend’s face twist in pleasure trying to stay in control of herself. The blonde was having  _ none _ of that and brought one hand to play with the brunette’s unoccupied nipple while the other went to the closest ear. She snickered as the punk lost  _ all _ semblance of calm. She wreathed and squirmed, hands finding purchase in the other’s long locks. 

“Reggie fuck. Please I-” Janis tried to say but Regina bit the tender nub under her tongue, causing her lover’s hips to frantically roll up against her’s and a strangle moan to fly from her mouth. 

Regina  _ knew _ what she needed and she was happy to give it to her. She just wanted to play with her for  _ a few _ more minutes. She gave Janis's nipple another bite before lavishing her tongue over the reddened skin. The brunette hissed at the action, her grip tightening in the blonde's hair, body shivering under the attention. 

Regina smirked into her skin and repeated the action until Janis's chest was heaving. She thought about moving on but decided that not switching sides would be unfair. So with a smirk she looked up at her girlfriend. "Give me a few more minutes Baby. When I'm done with this, how should I take care of you?" 

"F-f-fingers please I want you close t-to me  _ please _ ." Janis stammered out. "I'll guide you i-if you n-n-need help."

"That sounds lovely Janjan, thank you." Regina said sweetly. Then she quickly switched her hands and mouth and went back to pulling noises from a  _ very _ flustered Janis. After every harsher nips, she placed a gentle kiss where a tiny bruise would no doubt be tomorrow. The blonde could tell that the brunette was becoming more desperate with each passing moment and decided it was time. She pulled away and sat back on her calves. “Lift your hips Baby.” Her voice barely above a whisper. 

A nervousness came over her. But Janis’s hips lifting under her had her refocused on her goal. The blonde felt her hands shaking as she reached for the brunette pants. She marveled at the punk’s quaking stomach muscles as she pulled both sweats and boy shorts down in one motion. The plastic’s gaze traveled over all the newly visible skin, pausing at the apex of the punk’s legs. She took in a long breath trying not to just fall face first between Janis’s legs to ravish her like she’d done in  _ numerous _ dreams she had over the last week. 

A whine and a full body shiver came from Janis as she made grabby hands at Regina. “Baby please.” The adorable brunette pouted. Normally the blonde  _ loved  _ torturing the girl below her when she pouted, but tonight she just grabbed the blankets and sank into her arms. The couple moaned as their bodies came into full contact again. 

“Hey.” Regina whispered, bumping noses with the other girl as she encapsulated her with her arms. She looked over Janis’s face and saw the excitement in her eyes. It made nervous yet ecstatic butterflies rise in her stomach. 

“Hey.” Janis greeted back before leaning up to kiss Regina. The blonde happily returned it, pushing the brunette back onto the blankets.

The kiss’s intensity grew quickly and before Regina knew it her hand was drifting down Janis’s body. She reveled in the shiver she felt and hummed into the kiss. Just as she met her first stop she pulled away, wanting to watch her girlfriend. She ghosted her hand over the slope of the punk’s breast just as their eyes met and smiled at the way the punk’s pupils nearly overtook her irises. 

“Baby you’re so beautiful. I love you.” Regina said as her other hand came down a few inches so it could begin teasing at Janis’s ear. The blonde felt satisfaction bubble up in her when the brunette gasped and ground up against her. She decided that as fun as it was to watch her girlfriend squirm, listening and feeling would be enough for her. Both hands moved farther down, one scraping dulled nails across her punk quivering stomach and the other settled along their sides for stability. She nestled her mouth just under Janis’s ear and began to suck at the tender flesh. “Are you ready?” She asked just as her hand settled just above its destination.

“Yes.” Janis gasped out.

“Remember you can tell me if I’m not doing something right. Move my hand if you have to. I won’t be upset.” The blonde said in a nervous tone. She hoped she wasn’t about to mess up.

“Don’t worry Love, I’ll let you know.” Janis said, turning her head to give Regina a quick kiss. The punk sounded like she was about to shatter.

Regina sighed softly and gave herself a quick pep talk while her hand traveled lower. She’d be fine. She’d done it to herself plenty of times. Janis would help her. It was fine. She laid gentle kisses under Janis’s ear as her finger finally made first contact with the punk's clit. 

Janis's arms flew to Regina's back and clung to her gasping. "Baby  _ fuck _ ." The punk cried out. For a moment the plastic froze, surprised by the reaction being so positive. But as Janis's dull nails started to dig into her back she came back to herself. Janis would help it would be fine.

She started drawing soft circles around the nub while she dragged her lips up and down Janis's ear. Regina was elated to hear Janis’s moans and feel her body trembling but she was still nervous she wasn’t doing things right?

“Babe is this okay?” Regina asked nervously against the under her lips.

“Y-yes.” Janis gasped out. “You’re great. You can go a little faster if you want.” 

Regina calmed down a bit at her girlfriend’s words, speeding up a bit as requested. Janis’s whole body jolted against her’s and the brunette started grinding into the blonde’s hand. She decided to try adding a little more pressure too and was delighted and turned on to feel one of Janis’s legs snake around her’s. She nibbled up and down her lover’s ear, letting the noises whizzing out of her girlfriend’s to consume her for a little bit. 

But it wasn’t long before Regina’s anxiety kicked in as she worried she wasn’t doing enough. She wanted Janis to feel something close to what she did. “Baby should I like… put my fingers in?” The blonde asked, feeling absolutely embarrassed and dumb. What was she,  _ five _ ? 

“N-n-no  _ please _ Love stay there. T-this feels  _ so _ good.” Janis stammer-moaned out.

“But is this motion okay? Should I do something else?” The blonde asked, anxiety present in her voice.

“Y-you could honestly do this but just harder as I get closer and I-I’d be  _ a okay _ with that. But if you want to change I l-like to d-do a circle then a line through the circle. J-just  _ not _ the alphabet. The alphabet is a  _ l-l-lie _ . Consistency is k-keeey.” Janis’s last word turned into a moan as Regina  _ immediately _ put Janis’s words into action. She started an approximation of the pattern. 

Circle, circle, circle, slash, repeat, she chanted in the back of her head. Regina kept that going and latched onto the skin right under Janis’s ear and started sucking hard. She was overjoyed to feel her girlfriend’s legs wrap around her waist and her arm cling to her like it was keeping her from being swallowed up by the earth. The girl under her ground frantically against her fingers, gasps, moans, and whines fleeing her lung every few seconds. Holy  _ shit _ she was doing it. She was making the brunette feel good.  _ Yes _ , thank  _ whatever _ was up in the sky. 

“I love you Baby, you’re so  amazing and beautiful.” Regina mumbled to Janis right against her ear. The brunette could only whine in response clinging tighter to the blonde. 

With each twitch of the punk under her, the plastic felt more confident in herself. As she felt Janis’s legs start to tremble around her waist Regina let her instincts take over, speeding up her finger and pressing harder against her lover’s clit. 

“Fuck, yes Reggie,  _ fuck _ . I-I’m so close  _ please _ don’t stop.” Janis begged.

Regina was almost thrown off by the outburst. It was  _ happening _ . She was going to do it. Holy  _ fucking _ shit. She latched back onto the already bruising skin under Janis’s ear, sucking and nipping. She wanted the brunette to look in the mirror tomorrow and be reminded of what they did. She was pretty sure she had quite a few reminders of her own already.

Regina started to feel an ache in her wrist and giggled at herself. She’d have to work on her wrist strength.  _ Good thing _ the best way to build its strength involved such good company and fun activities. As the blonde bit down at the tender flesh her fingers doubled their efforts. 

“ _ Reggie _ !” Janis screamed. The brunette arms and legs tensed around her and her hips shook like a tiny earthquake. 

_ Holy shit _ she did it she did yes! Regina began laying gentle kisses up and down Janis’s neck, copying her girlfriend’s method of slowing her motions but not yet stopping. “You’re so perfect Baby.” Regina whispered. Janis replied with a dopey giggle and shook her head. The blonde peppered more kisses wherever she could reach and continued speaking. “Don’t you  _ disagree _ with me Babe. You’re  _ perfect _ . My own angel on earth.” The brunette didn’t appear to have a comeback, but the blonde giggled when she felt little kisses on her shoulder. The plastic nuzzled into the punk's neck, breathing in the girl under her. Honey, eucalyptus, and sweat. It was comforting and grounding.

Regina felt Janis’s full body vice grip loosen and ceased her fingers ghosting motions. She pushed herself up a bit so she was face to face with the punk. “Did I do okay?” She asked, biting her lip. 

“ _ A hundred _ out of ten yes.” Janis said in an airy tone before leaning up to capture Regina’s lips. 

The plastic hummed into the kiss, repositioning her arms to get more comfortable. She felt Janis’s arms leave her shoulders and come to wrap around her waist. The kiss stayed tender and euphoric, almost like a dream. 

Regina felt emotion rushing through her. She had never felt this way after sex before. It was so warm and fuzzy, like she was floating. Each time Janis’s chest raised against her’s she felt butterflies flutter in her own. Every gentle stroke of the brunette thumb against her back made her feel so safe and wanted. Every time their lips came apart for a second Regina felt like she lost her source of air. It was rather overwhelming for the blonde, she wrapped herself around the brunette’s frame more, stroking the other’s hair. God how could she be _ so _ happy? It almost didn’t make sense. She had been the evil queen for so  _ long _ that feeling like the princess with her knight in shining armor felt almost foreign. She closed her eyes tighter trying to banish the weird feelings and stay in the moment with her punk angel.

“Love what’s wrong?” Janis asked, as she pulled back sounding worried.

“What?” Regina replied confused, looking at the worried girl under her. Janis’s thumb came up to her cheek and she watched a teardrop fall on the punk’s face, giving her the answer. “Oh shit. It’s  _ nothing _ …” She lied. The punk cocked an eyebrow at her and she gave in. “Just getting all wistful about you being  _ perfect  _ and making me feel loved and just feeling so  _ safe _ and happy that it almost feels like this might be a  _ dream _ . I’m scared I’m gonna wake up and be in the hospital and all of this will’ve never happened.” Regina jumped and yelped as Janis gave her butt a hard pinch. “Janis what the  _ fuck _ ?” Regina scolded.

Janis responded by pulling her down into a quick kiss before speaking. “See you’re not dreaming. I pinched you and you’re still here and not in a hospital bed.” The brunette said gently. Her thumb ran up and down the blonde’s cheek while the other drew patterns on her back. “I know it can seem  _ crazy _ that this is happening. There was a moment when I looked up at you and you were looking at the sky and I thought you might just be a figment of my imagination. That I’d wake up and it’d be the first week here again when I was avoiding you. But we’re really here.  _ Girlfriends _ , cuddling naked under toasty blankets, outside under a meteor shower in our post sex glow.” Janis’s smile had turned into that lopsided grin Regina loved so dearly.

She leaned back down in for another kiss. “Thank you Baby.” The blonde said gently, kissing the brunette again. 

They stayed like that for  _ who knows _ how long, running fingers gently over skin with occasional kisses on a nose or cheek, murmuring ‘I love yous’ to one another, and just basking in one another’s presence. The fire had died out and the cold was starting to seep through the blankets. Regina was a first to pull away.

“I think it might be time to go home where there’s warm beds.” The blonde whispered, just a smidge disappointed this had to end. 

“I think you’re right.” Janis whispered back, starting to push up. Her eyes said the same, probably wishing to freeze time. “I love you Reggie.” The brunette said.

“I love you too Janjan.” The blonde murmured back.

The couple shivered as the cold air hit them and the blankets fell away. They hurried to get dressed and walked back to the car hand in hand. As they slid into the car Regina noticed a smirk on Janis’s face. The blonde quirked an eyebrow at the brunette. “What are you thinking about?” She asked suspiciously.

“Oh  _ ya know _ , I was just thinking that since we did  _ the sideways tango _ and all… we should  _ probably _ shower when we get back… And since it’s  _ pretty _ late _ , _ we wouldn’t want to run two showers and wake people up. So I think sharing  _ one _ would be the politest thing to do for our floormates.” Janis said with a mischievous smile.

Regina smirked in reply. “Jan you’re always so  _ considerate _ of others. I think that’s a  _ great _ idea. But I have one  _ little _ request.” She said, leaning across the console.

She watched Janis’s eyes grow dark. “What’s that Baby?” 

“I want you to teach me how to use my tongue.” Regina husked. 

“I think that can be arranged.” Janis said cockily.  _ Fuck _ was cocky Janis sexy. 

  
So with that settled, Janis peeled out of the little parking lot and down the road. Regina looked at the clock and saw it was past 2am but couldn’t find the will to care. She’d catch up on sleep over break…  _ Maybe _ .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CHAPTER SUMMARY  
> And then they BONED!... No I'm serious that's really all that happened, with like a dash of cuddling at the end.
> 
> But anyway thank you for reading!
> 
> Just two more chapters left!


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